Been out on three dates and no mention of sex

alexmena420 · 2021-07-11T04:39:03+00:00

He likes you and he's trying not to screw things up with you. Girls often react bad to talks about sex so we are careful with that if we really like the girl. If you make a move, he'll follow. At least that would be me.

paulllis · 2021-07-11T07:55:29+00:00

Try coming on to him? It’s so fucking hard for a guy to gauge when to initiate anything sexual these days. I’ve gone in the the kiss and got a great make out sesh but then heard nothing back and been ghosted. And vice versa. We’re scared we’re going to get tarred with the non consent brush

lilvertsquirt · 2021-07-11T05:58:53+00:00

He is possibly a virgin too.

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-07-11T07:31:46+00:00

He is most likely genuinely interested in you and is moving at a pace comfortable to you.

He may also be inexperienced and therefore ultra cautious/slow. I mean why would he continue to go out with you and make out if not interested?

He may also be from a conservative upbringing, or be somewhat Demi sexual - as in needing to have an emotional connection before having sex. While it’s not popular to believe today, many woman and men have this type of orientation. I say just enjoy the slow build up, unless you really just want to be pumped and dumped. Do you societal conditioning some people are desperate to lose their virginity. Also society discourages getting the feels.

You may also have self esteem issues you should look at. If you want to have sex with someone you car about, this relationship seems like a path forward. Why are you self sabotaging by asking for advice on a forum where people are specifically looking for tips on how to have sex faster? Your response sample will be skewed to pumper and dumpers.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-07-11T12:17:33+00:00

1

I’m (19F) and have been seeing this guy (21M) for about a month.

This post had to be taken down because we usually post questions about a specific situation / person on AskSeddit.

That said I'll add my comments to the thread as well.

2

We have great chemistry and he’s super attentive when we go out together. He’s taking it really slow, like we’ve only made it to second base (over the clothes) so far.

Not uncommon. Usually this is the MO for people who are looking for something more serious, rather than casual.

3

I’ve personally not had sex before (have done a few other intimate things) so I appreciate the pace, but **I’m just wondering what this means?

Couple things here:

I would dispense with the idea that any answers you get here can be generalized for all men. All anyone here can do is offer their opinions on what he might be thinking.
He will be the definitive source of information for what he thinks.

4

Does it mean he’s genuinely interested in me, or maybe he hasn’t gotten to that level of attraction yet? (I feel like I’m getting there)

There are going to be times when you're dating, that you will feel insecure and unsure about things.

We all have to do the best we can to reassure ourselves in these situations. At the end of the day no one else can do this for us.

And while it's great to communicate clearly with someone that you're dating, it's also good to manage your expectations according to what's actually happening so far.

You're in the beginning phases of something. Just getting to know someone. This is the time for things to be light and fun. So it will serve you to try and do your best to relax and enjoy the ride, so to speak.

5

All that said, we can make an educated guess that he's probably not focused on casual sex if it hasn't come up by now.

And if he wants to see you again, that's obviously good as well. So you got to talk those negative voices down in your head if they're telling you something is wrong.

There are no guarantees in life but nothing you've said about the situation stands out as a red flag for anything so far.

6

(SIDE NOTE: I do want to have sex eventually, but with someone I completely trust/feel safe with. I’m not ready to have sex quiiite yet, just want some opinions)

You probably didn't mean it literally when you said "completely," But it still bears mentioning that waiting for complete trust and safety is pretty much a pipe dream.

You could be with the most trustworthy person that you should be able to trust completely, but if you aren't taking care of yourself, you won't be able to see them as such.

I guess what I mean is that if you're waiting for complete trust and safety, part of that lies within you as far as being able to see it.

Just something to consider. Of course you should wait until you're comfortable, but try to look at everything with open eyes and be aware that there may be times when the problem is fixable on your end.

AVGVSTVS_OPTIMVS · 2021-07-11T05:09:03+00:00

He's having a hard time bringing it up. Men are left up to be the ones to set the mood and it awkward for alot of us. Bring it up to him and I know for a fact he will appreciate it

emptyvoid69 · 2021-07-11T07:27:31+00:00

He is a player. Probably on the same league with Ronaldo. He is deliberately doing that cos u are clingy on him...obviously i am guessing but I am accurate.

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-07-11T05:01:28+00:00

Never trust a guy who takes things slow

Title	Been out on three dates and no mention of sex
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	15
Date	July 11, 2021 4:29 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ohxssj/been_out_on_three_dates_and_no_mention_of_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/been-out-on-three-dates-and-no-mention-of-sex.1280670 https://theredarchive.com/post/1280670

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