a few weeks ago, i went to grab breakfast and a coffee at a cafe. when i was half way through, i got up to get some water, and when i came back, there was a woman asking if anyone was still at my table. so i told her that i was, but she could join me. she does, and we chat a bit.

then about 5 minutes before i have to leave, her friend comes in, who is a 6 foot tall blonde haired creature. i introduce myself, and ask her if she wants a hug (she offered a handshake. i like hugs better). we talk about stuff (mutual interests! and she seems smart. going to law school. and she likes spicy food). then as i'm leaving, i say "you're pretty. if you give me your number, i'll make you dinner some time". she gives me an incredulous look, and then her number.

we went on a date a few days later. out for beer, and then i asked her if she wanted to go back to my house to make out. so we walked to my house, smoked some weed, and i ask her "so, wanna make out now?". she gives me the incredulous look again, and tells me that you can't just ask that, you have to just go for it. then about a minute later she pins me to a wall and we're making out, and shortly afterward, we're fucking.

lessons that got reinforced:

  • talk to people, whether or not you want to fuck them (her friend, in this case).

  • be clear about intent. if you want a date, make it clear that it's a date and not a friend thing.

  • pay attention to actions over words. women (and men that hear about it) tell me that i should just lean in for a kiss, rather than asking. but if asking still gets me what i want, why change?