So i work weekends and like to go out and Dance. I frequent this bar by my place that's never popping, do my warm up sets while talking to people around the bar, and then I gear up to hit my favorite place.

As soon as I walk in its dead and not going anywhere. First mistake was I bought a drink anyway, oh well, talked to 2 people and it was fine..next

Came upon this place I've been meaning to go to, but te bouncers always made me pay a cover, tonight was popping and the bouncers were cool.

It's crowded, small, loud, and moving. My kinda place. I grab a beer and start to dance when these 2 keep eyeing me from a lil bit away.

Dance with both of them, hb1 tells me I'm cute, hb2 gets a drink. Hb1 sits down and I proceed to introduce myself. I get her name and a handshake. Ask her if I could sit and she asked if I could dance which sounded much better. Hb1 and I are dancing and she ends up against the support beam in the middle of the floor and she takes my face in her hands and makes out wit me.

She constantly says how she wants to fuck me, and I eventually get her to go home with me.

We cab, she's drunk, laying down toward the window with feet in my lap. We small talk. I kino by rubbing her legs.

This is the weirdest part. She would not stop asking me if I was gay. Like a little gay, gay gay, or gay straight. I'm not. And I'm not offended by her saying these things. Obviously I put off that persona sarging and dancing like a bamf. Oh well. Shell learn.

Get her home. No toilet paper (MAKE A CHECKLIST BOYS). I honestly didn't expect anyone to come home, which was my first mistake.

She's cool with it, turns out she's 40 and fucking sexy.

We make out, little bit of lmr, but only because of the alcohol. Few minutes and a glass of water later, I'm showing her just how straight I am and she's screaming like a banshee.

Roomates weren't too happy about that one. The look on his face this morning was priceless. I just made him some coffee too atone.

Good luck this weekend, I'll be serving you boys some liquid courage and rooting for ya.