I'm a student on vacation in Oslo, and since most of Norway's bars and nightclubs are 20 years+, I was limited to one 18+ bar/nightclub near my hotel and another across town. The 20 min walk is killer, so no bouncing between venues for me. Although I have no problem approaching, this was only my second real night out.

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A Slow Start

I go in at ~11PM, get a beer, look around, and see it's pretty small and empty. Instead of awkwardly waiting around for more people, I grab my glass and sit down with two guys who were at a booth. AA applies to approaching both men and women- don't excuse yourself from meeting other guys just because you don't want to fuck them. This also serves to create a low-energy spot for you to come back to in the lulls of the night. Steve and John are locals and we chat about my vacation, the city, school, etc.

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Set 1

A 3-set of Six, Seven, and Eight walks in, get drinks and go to a standing table. I open with "Hi!" and a hand on Seven's shoulder (fuck that indirect bullshit). Kino early, and kino often. We exchange names, handshakes all around. While loud music impedes real conversation and eye contact, it allows you to pull them close by their shoulders or neck (Richard La Ruina/Gambler goes into this in his 21Convention talk). I tell them I'm from New York and their faces brighten. This happens with every set of the night and is a nice, though insignificant, bonus. Seven lets slip a "mothafucka" and covers her mouth to surprised expressions from her friends. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and say, "This one has a dirty mouth- I like that." I try to get them to come back to Steve and John's booth, but they decline and make pinky promises to come say hi later (they don't). They didn't seem engaged at all (no eye contact, Eight on her phone), and I go back to the booth. Maybe I should have persisted.

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Set 2

Things have picked up by now with more people in the place, I see another 3-set of Six, Seven, and Eight at a booth, and sit down with a "Hi!" again. Introductions are made, and standard conversation follows. I actually don't remember what exactly was said; conversation just flowed since Eight across from me and Seven next to me are both engaged. I remember three things that may or may not have been noteworthy:

  • When Eight said they were Norwegians, I put on a skeptical expression, grabbed her brown hair and Six's blonde hair and put them next to each other. I skipped a few rungs on the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder (which says face and hair come after arm, shoulder, waist, and legs), but they were fine with it.
  • They asked me why Norway, to which I replied something like "Let me get you guys a mirror and you can see exactly why."
  • I asked Seven and Eight where their boyfriends were to try to gauge their interest and whether they were single. They both said "not here" or "somewhere else". In hindsight, the lack of detail suggests they don't exist (which turned out to be the case with the next set), but in the moment I believed them and stopped pursuing. Probably a mistake.

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Set 3

Later on in the night, I see a 3-set of Five, Seven, and Six sitting in that order in the back. I sit down next to Five and make introductions. After a bit, I tell her to switch seats with me since I was going for Seven, and we talk about New York, vacations, Oslo, and Norwegian girls. Because of the loud music, I could only talk with Seven and Five with Six being more or less left out. In hindsight, I should have sat between Seven and Six, who was the tall and burly mother hen. The guys sitting here before us come to get their drinks, and Five is upset at getting her beer taken away. I buy them a round (seddit preaches against this, I know) and continue conversation with Seven and Five. I ask Seven where her boyfriend is, and she gives the same ambiguous answer, and Six tells me that none of them have boyfriends.

My first mistake was not even thinking of escalating beyond an arm around their shoulders, and if I did think to do so, wouldn't have known how to. At one point, when Seven and I were talking about her experiences going out and she suggested that I was a nice guy, I pulled her in by the shoulders and said in her ear "I am not a nice guy. I would do dirty, dirty things to you." This was a perfect moment to escalate kino, and I failed in that regard.

My second mistake was failing to isolate Seven, who seemed into me. Before long, I'm guessing Six had had enough of diddling away on her phone and pulled Seven and Five away under the auspices of meeting friends (they weren't). When I tried to follow, Six turned into a complete bitch, telling me "go away", "don't mess with me", and physically turning Seven away from me when I tried to say goodbye. I saw these three again later in the night with some other guys that seemed to have given Six some attention. I don't know, maybe I'm being vindictive but I can't think of another reason Six was acting like that.

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The Dance Floor

After things picked up, the dance floor was more or less full most of the time, but that was probably because it was so small. I came back here a few times throughout the night, and usually danced by myself. Inexperience really came through here, and it felt like I had AA again. Not a good feeling, and not helped by the fact that Seven and Eight from Set 1 were the only ones on the dance floor above a 6 (it was really small and filled with guys) and the couple of times I tried to get close, they moved away. Weird, since earlier on the floor they enthusiastically took pictures with me. Probably just the friendly-with-everyone types.

Towards the end, at around 2:30AM, I see Ms Nine by herself in a corner, make eye contact, and she comes over to dance. This girl has a stone cold poker face on but quickly gets close and switches between positions- leg between legs, hands on waist, body to body, hands everywhere in the air, spins, dips (she dipped herself with my hand on her back, how embarrassing). I was way out of my depth on the dance floor here, and I'd never wished that I had dance training more than then. She eventually got bored, I guessing, and went back to her friends. I followed her (god, that hurts to type) and met her friends, who were much more receptive to conversation (Nine said her English was not so good). I tried to isolate ("let's get some air") and had to pull her to her feet, but security wouldn't let her take her glass outside, so she went back to the booth. I was also a bit intimidated by the muscular guy sitting there acting like her boyfriend despite her other friend saying they were just friends. The group eventually leaves.

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Closing Remarks

  • Besides these three sets, I opened a handful of other 2-sets and 1-sets, and received less warm reactions. One girl went as far as pretending to not speak English. Whatever, I just moved on.
  • I've heard from various sources that Norwegian girls are easy, especially when they've been drinking, you're from out of town, and speak English. I had all three going for me but felt no significant advantage in my interactions. Maybe it's because I don't really have a baseline to compare it to, but I'd advise guys to not let generalizations affect their mindsets one way or the other.
  • If pick up is a number's game, being restricted to one or two venues makes for a difficult night, but that can be an advantage to learning game. Not being lulled into a false sense of skill by early success forces me to focus on improving technique so that when I turn 21 and a whole world of nightlife is opened up, I'll be that much more prepared.
  • I thank this community for getting me past AA and social anxiety, but I know I still have much to learn as last night demonstrated. Let me know what I did right, what I did wrong. Don't hold back on the criticism, and thanks for reading.