The first and last relationship I had was at age 15 or 16. The relationship only lasted 5 days.

I have only had 4 sexual partners and my last sexual partner was about 4 years ago. The main thing is that at my age I can not get over the fact that all the potential mates are going to be damaged goods.

I think of a potential mate as a used car, somebody leased the car from the dealership,did donuts in the parking lot,ran over a few speed bumps at a high rate of speed and drove the living shit out of the car. When they were done with the car they just sold it back to the car dealership and I just happened to be walking by that car dealership while in search for a car, So I approach the salesman,but I notice the superficial damage on the car's hood and bumper, which leads me to believe that there may be more damage that I can not see under the hood. So I say to myself "fuck this" and move on.

Its not only that train of thought that keeps me from getting a girl I am not very attractive.Most attractive women I walk by pay no attention to me. The old unattractive and/or fat women find me handsome or hot, yet the women I find attractive find me repulsive or not even worthy of simple Hello. Its a really strange fuckin world.

When I do notice another man's discarded cumbucket( ex-mate) is attractive and possibly has an interest in me, I fall back to the same pattern of thinking and picture her as a butcher in a meat market handing out those numbers to wait in line to be served. When she shows you signs of interest, she just basically handed you a number saying "Now serving #43"

When I think of this it makes me angry sometimes. Maybe it is just from being an object of someones repulsion that makes me angry. I hate being hot to disgusting women and disgusting to attractive women..

Yes, I get the hypocrisy of the last line. GOW FAWK yourself =)

Edit-It appears that most of you people have reading comprehension problems. I am articulate enough and am able to put on a fake face long enough to score a piece of pie when ever I want. I know what to say,how to act, I hit the gym on a regular basis and I am well groomed. Most of you seem to get a picture of some fat internet slob sitting at his computer whining, Am I whining or am I telling the truth? just because you're willing to settle for mediocracy , does not mean I will.