Jesus I'm so bad. I really wonder what is wrong with me sometimes. Girls make it so easy for me and still I manage to fuck it up even though I know exactly what they want.

This girl who's leaving my workplace in about a week has been coming over and chatting with me more and more as the days have passed by. At first she was was full on eye fucking me which I was perplexed with but sure. Now as the days until she leaves become smaller, she seems to make it her personal agenda to come by and chat as often as possible and make it as obvious as she can that she wants to do something with me outside of work.

The thing is, knowing that she likes me heavily, which again I don't really understand but sure, just puts me into my head faster. I'm social with everyone at work and I have a quick wit, which frustrates me even more that I get tongue tied when she comes up to talk. And not just her, it's been every dumb girl that has liked me in the past. Neutral pretty girl, I can be myself and joke to the fullest. A girl starts dropping hints and shit about more and instant scrutinization on my part.

Anyhow idk wtf is wrong with me tbh. I guess in a way I don't want to fuck it up which makes me filter my personality which is definitely not outcome independent. But this shit has been my whole life. I can't even count the number of times a girl was super obvious that she was interested and I some how managed to blow that shit out of the water. I was hoping I'd learn from my mistakes but nope.