Tinder: Girl texts me first, then invests near to nothing

hunterpua · 2018-07-30T18:41:19+00:00

Oh this is easy. You didn't give her a chance to hit on you. After her opener you turned it around and started hitting on her.

This is how she sees it: She was off to a good start but apparently that's all you needed to fall for her.

I was quite pleasently surprised by such an uncommon effort by a sweet girl and returned her compliment, asking her some standard questions which she replied quickly. After that I offered her my number and we switched to whatsapp.

Look at what you said there. Had you just said "thank you" and left her to figure out where to take the conversation from there she wouldn't have lost interest so quickly.

You might argue that she was replying fast so that wasn't what caused the issue but here's the thing, this is all emotional. Most girls aren't looking at a judging criteria while chatting to you on Tinder so you being so easy can take a while to sink in. Its not a concrete thought that pops up in her mind screaming "He's easy!" Its just a feeling. She will just get more and more bored of you over time. By the time you were on whatsapp, Netflix was probably more appealing.

A lot of guys wonder why girls never hit on them. The truth is, so many guys can very easily have girls hitting on them, you just have to learn to chill out and let them.

Guys in seduction talk a lot about social conditioning and how we should break free from that shit. Well, it being a man's role to pursue and woman's role to be pursued is a socially conditioned mindset and its not a helpful one to have.

Every guy should learn to let girls participate more in the courtship process instead of just taking care of everything so that she doesn't even need to lift a finger.

2018-07-30T17:25:23+00:00

I asked if we should meet face-to-face for a coffee or sth.

No. Say "lets get coffee, or how about we grab it on x day"

Lead the interaction.

2018-07-30T19:50:01+00:00

You don't have the trust established to meet, it's that simple. In two weeks you still won't have the trust needed, now she's stalling for time. Currently, you barely have the trust to talk to her, she won't respond to voice messages. You need to back off. The problem with girls messaging, is sometimes they hit on desperate guys and ... the last thing a girl wants is a desperate guy.

When a girl messages you, you need to play it cool, and avoid touching the "escalate now" button. It's a trap!

I really like u/hunterpua's analysis, you really wrecked her game.

You can tell from the compliance checks. You want to use the trust (trust you don't have) established to get things out of the relationship already, things you don't have the points for. Each and every time a compliance check fails, you need to back off and work on fundamentals: build trust, demonstrate value, create a story.

> I sent her a voice-message, she continues to text short messages and doesn't ask me any questions.

Compliance fail, back off.

> I asked if we should meet face-to-face for a coffee or sth.

Compliance fail, back off.

> I had to ask one more time. She says that she's busy right now

COMPLIANCE FAIL, BACK OFF.

> out of town for two weeks, but after that maybe we could meet.

This is a cooling off period, like when you try and brute-force a password. She put up a captcha, "wait two weeks." I wouldn't message her for ... two weeks. If she messages you, respond, but be neutral. This lets her know you aren't desperate, you accept what she says is true, and have self-control, you have options. When she comes back (you can message her, but I would wait at least 15d) ask what she wants to do for a date, she messaged you.

> Even when I try to get a little flirty (nothing over the top), she doesn't react to it at all

If you're messaging her now, being clingy, etc. you'll never see her. She's responding out of obligation, not interest. She graciously gave you a timeline. Follow it. She's a few steps away from ghosting, each text you lose a few more points, until eventually, she disappears.

BLxoxo · 2018-07-30T17:15:31+00:00

As a girl, I find it a little uncomfortable when boys send me voice messages. Is it possible you came on a little strong? Maybe she just takes things very slow or maybe she found someone she feels is a little more her type?

ThaBromar · 2018-07-30T18:14:31+00:00

Cut down on communication a bit. She might interpret it as too needy.

Title	Tinder: Girl texts me first, then invests near to nothing
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	9
Date	July 30, 2018 5:12 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/935xxa/tinder_girl_texts_me_first_then_invests_near_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tinder-girl-texts-me-first-then-invests-near-to.1300212 https://theredarchive.com/post/1300212

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