I was intrigued by a comment Illimitable Man made earlier today:

We need some well written essays on how "unattracted women" work, whilst they're unattracted or more accurately in a "post-attraction" state they seem to become incredibly dark triad, whilst the lover she's attracted to? Probably sweet as pie to him. It's like some multiple personality shit, she's capable of congruently demonstrating two completely different sets of traits to two different people in the same phase of her life. One man's unicorn is another man's sexless battleaxe of a wife. This needs to be explored, I don't think this has ever been looked at thoroughly the entire time I've been on TRP (at least, not that I've noticed.)

I thought about this for a bit. He's right, of course-it's certainly not sunshine and lollipops to string along a gaggle of orbiters, but to treat your husband like an orbiter? That's cold.

Now, I hardly think the guy who writes this blog needs any schooling on the basics, but this is one of those "Hypergamy doesn't care" scenarios. The SO to the female cheater is no longer "The Guy". If he was, she'd still be attracted to him. And I don't mean that in the obvious, Be Alpha or you'll lose her context. In her mind, he can't possibly be THAT guy(the guy who gets cooing cock worship on demand), because those feelings aren't there. She doesn't feel the need to give a shit "why" those feelings aren't there. They just aren't.

Instead of an essay, I thought a bit of flash fiction might sum up the dynamic more neatly.

MY PSYCHO ROOM MATE

My room mate and I have been having a ton of problems lately. He's become a completely different person than I thought he was. He used to be sweet and easy to get along with. For a while, I thought I had feelings for him. He was like a teddy bear, but somehow, the "oomph" was never really there. Poor guy, he was smitten with me. We had a relationship of sorts, briefly. And we did have sex a few times.

But then I met K. He was everything my room mate wasn't- exciting, fun, brash(but in a good way ;) etc, and HOT. Like, really. We met at a juice bar, and hit it off really well. Of course, K wanted to move forward immediately(and we kinda did...)

But then, I panicked. How was I supposed to explain this to my roomie? So...I lied. I felt bad about it, but once he calmed down, I figured he would understand that everything would be fine. That's what I figured.

I told him that I wasn't really feeling it, and that WE should start seeing people. It made sense to me- he would be better off with someone who appreciated him. But the funny thing is, a part of me wanted him to get more upset than he actually did. I expected him to shout and rage and throw things. Instead, he got really quiet for a while and just talked about it in this calm voice. I was a little surprised by how well he took it, but he told me he would be my room mate no matter what, and that he understood. That's what he said- "I understand," and I took him at his word. HUGE mistake.

So I started seeing K on a regular basis. The first few times were great- I know it's a cliche, but he and I really "clicked." Aaaaand...yeah. He was...ahem...athletic, to say the least. But then, Dan(my room mate) started acting all jealous and controlling out of the blue. Even though he'd said everything was fine, he acted otherwise- texting and calling me when I was out with K, alternating between hot and cold when I was at the apartment he and I shared.

It's been getting progressively worse, he's really ramped up the possessiveness, wanting to know what I'm up to all the time, where im at, ectetera. Sometimes he gets all touchy feely, which I move away from, becuase it isn't cool at all. Other times, he gets all huffy and demands to know "where the hell I'm off to at all hours" He's a total psycho- he and I aren't anything. He acts like I owe him something, which is ridiculous. I'm my own person, but he seems to think we're a couple....which we are DEFINITELY not!

Obviously, this is hyperbole, a parable of sorts. Not all cuckoldings are like that. But this is the kernel of truth in that shit sandwich- the guy being cuckolded is a glorified room mate. Nothing more.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure- by the time the guy notices, its usually FUBAR. Women cheat in their heart before they cheat in the flesh. A neighbor of mine is watching his marraige crumble right now, because he allowed his wife to wear the pants in the relationship.

Shit happens.