So, it’s been a while since I’ve been lurking here. I think my main plateau I need to pass is fear. I was raised to be nice to people and bend over fucking backwards for them. Played video games my whole life, so didn’t really socialize my parents just wanted me inside the house. But, just a week ago, I dropped video games and this is the problem I have.

I moved to another state, enrolled in a different school. Today, some kid tried picking on me but, I let it slide. It pissed me off though, how many times am I going to let it slide. Even when woman do it, I just let it slide. Is being quiet and not responding the smarter decision? I fear getting into a fight and pain. I’m trying to hang out with people more but I have this anxiety when I’m out, it’s like I don’t know how to act.

Also, me being middle eastern if my parents find out I hang out a lot or hang out with a girl they’ll literally fight me. What should I do man? Why do I feel like this? Should I stand up for myself more? How do you become fearless? For gods sake people in Africa and the Middle East become soldiers when kids. I know I have the aptitude but how do I harness it. I’ve been trying to reading and weightlifting, but I’m quite weak so it’s taking a while. I’m tired of being weak, I want to be something in life, I’m tired of mediocrity. How should I start?

(Posted on my phone so, I apologize for any mistakes)