I'm posting this up to encourage discussion about moving beyond the alpha/beta male distinction... I find the idea of alpha male vs beta male to be far too simplistic to describe human relations, and I'm just trying to add a bit more conceptual depth to the topic. Let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: The map is meant to be simple, but the territory is infinitely complicated. Navigate wisely, and not just by your map, but also by your internal compass.

Common sense: Every girl wants the “alpha male” and no guy wants to be the “beta”. Duh.

Common sense is far too common.

Human concepts of “alpha males” and “beta males” are so distorted by misunderstanding. People buy into the idea that every male in society could be measured along this dichotomy of alpha and beta. What bullshit.

First, to be alpha means to be the leader and dominant male figure of the group. True, in wolf packs the alpha dog fucks all the bitches, and a similar statement could be made for the alpha man. But, humans are more complex than that, remember?

The beta male is the concept that is most misrepresented and misunderstood by people. The beta is not submissive and incompetent as most people think, but rather the beta is usually quite competent and strong. The only thing that differentiates the beta from the alpha is that the beta is not the strongest of the group, but the beta is ready to take the alpha’s spot at any time given the right opportunity.

The human social group is much more complex and much larger in scope than packs of wolves. Humans live in a global society, with many cultures, sub-cultures, social cliques etc… In the grand scheme of things, almost nobody is 100% alpha. Every person nowadays is part of many communities, many worlds. Most alphas I know may be alpha of their clique, but in the bigger picture they are essentially beta.

So is that all there is to it? A world full of alphas and betas? Maybe in the rat race of society… I see a population of 95% alphas and betas, yet that is not the whole story.

Here’s what I see… a ton of betas fighting over the alpha position, trying to one-up each other constantly to become the “top dog”. I also see that, while the betas and alphas fight it out… a third type of male comes in and takes the girl without raising any suspicion: the Omega.

In wolf packs, If Alpha is #1 and Beta is #2, then Omega is dead last. The weakest, and the outcast of the group… often becoming a “lone wolf”.

In human society however, omegas serve a different role. It is very true that omegas are often regarded as “the weakest beta”, but many omegas are also mislabeled as “the lonely alpha”. Nobody ever talks about the omega because they can’t seem to fit him onto the alpha-beta dichotomy… and that’s fair enough, because the omega can’t be fit into such distinctions.

Omegas aren’t willing to play the alpha/beta game because omegas either can’t see themselves as competent competitors within the alpha/beta rat race or they reject the values and rules of that game. While alphas and betas obsess over value and perceive everything in terms of hierarchy, the omega makes few value judgments and attempts to understand the role that everybody plays in the social game.

What is “value” anyway, but a deception of the human mind? To see things in terms of “first, second and last” is to place unnecessary bias on analysis. Why not just see things as they are?

There’s nothing inherently heroic about being an alpha, nor is there anything inherently inferior about the beta. The omega could be the last of society, or he could simply be an outsider whose personal values prevent him from playing this silly game.

At best, the alpha is a confident and capable leader, and at worst he is an arrogant douchebag that has everybody fooled. There’s nothing wrong with being a beta either… as long as you know the difference between having responsibility and being a blind follower. In reality, everybody goes through all three archetypal roles in life, and we all switch roles depending on context. While I may be omega in most situations, I am also alpha when it comes to my areas of expertise, and beta when it comes to service to those I love and respect.

Most people see Alpha as first, and Omega as last… but in humans, I think it would be more accurate to say that Alpha and Omega are simply opposite archetypes: The Alpha hero and the Omega anti-hero. The responsible stabilizer, and the daring shit-disturber. The Alpha establishes order with himself at the top, while the Omega subverts order to get what he wants. While the Alpha male gets what he wants through domination, the Omega male achieves through persuasion.

…and so forth. This could get messy if I have to write it all out, but just think about it.

Etcetera… A similar “map” could also be built on this concept for females with a few adjustments, but the result would be quite different. While the omega male of our generation has done quite well for himself, I doubt that the same could be said for the omega female. The omega anti-hero has become romanticized in our culture: the tragic hero, the badass who blazes his own path and the rebel who goes against the grain have all been mythologized as desirable characters. What about the omega female though? The girl who can’t get along with girls, but has that magnetic hold over men… they might call her a “slut”, but that’s exactly the type I fall in love with. It takes a lot of courage to set yourself apart like that…

The omega male despises shallow relationships and keeps only a few close friends, but is he necessarily antagonistic to the archetypal alpha? I doubt it. As “enemies” and rivals, the archetypal alpha and omega shape the characteristics and values of the social group through their endless struggle, a bit reminiscent of the persistent struggle between modernism and postmodernism. However, as alpha and omega recognize each other, they are capable of synthesizing their efforts toward mutual goals.

In my own life, I doubt that I could ever handle being an alpha. Fuck it, it’s not worth the effort or stress of constantly worrying about “losing my spot”. The alpha may set the rhythm for all the betas, but I’d rather be flowing by my own rhythm regardless of who decides to follow or how I am judged by “society”. Freedom, recognition, and happiness… it seems that at most, one can only ever hope to have two of three, and rarely all at once.

I see a lot of sheep herding sheep…