I work in financial services. Today, a client came in to work to discuss his companies account with a few of our managers and advisors. Afterward, while he was waiting for a few of his colleagues to finish up some work/socializing, I had the opportunity to speak with him candidly.

A little background: He is the owner of a large holding company, with a background in project management, construction, he is one of our wealthiest clients, in his 50s, incredibly smart, polite, and funny. If I could choose the perfect mentor, it would be in the mold of this guy. A true gentlemen.

I felt like the 15 minutes I had with him 1-on-1 were incredibly eye-opening and valuable, and I'd just like to share a few bits and pieces of what he had to say. Not everything he said is directly applicable to picking up women, but rather on how to become a confident, interesting, and successful man, which in turn makes you much more appealing to women in general. Some of it is very basic and obvious, but worth repeating.

  • Don't be afraid to fail. No one gets anything right the first time they do something, and it's important to take this to heart. What you should do is cultivate the ability to recognize when you make a mistake and learn from it, and use positive language when you consult with yourself. For example, don't say to yourself "Plan A didn't work. I made a bad decision." Instead, say something like "A better decision than Plan A would have been Plan B, because ______."

  • Don’t hesitate: when you see a yellow light, slam on the gas. It’s the guy who can’t decide what he’s going to do that gets in the accident. This example that he used was to illustrate that any decision you make, no matter how trivial, needs to be with conviction. Be assertive. People are sheep, always waiting to see what “the other guy” is doing first. Be a leader. Be “the other guy.” If you make a mistake, who cares? Learn from it, and be proud that you had the balls to take action. (verbatim)

  • Get an education. Hit the books, set some goals, and go after them. Never be satisfied with where you are. Do everything you can do separate yourself from the herd. Always be looking out for ways to improve, no matter how small, and be relentless. Being driven, passionate, and smart make you more appealing to everyone, period. Think about that.

  • If you’re good at something, anything, be proud of it, and be proud of what you’ve done. I started off telling him about I was a little embarrassed being the “old guy” in my training group (I’m 26) because I didn’t graduate college until I was 25, since I didn’t start until I was 21. He asked me why, and I told him it was because I wanted to travel and work before I went to school. He asked me where I’d gone, and I told him I traveled through Europe, I followed a band through the UK when I was 20, I lived in Japan and Austrailia briefly, and I made my way around the states. He said, “What?! That’s fucking awesome! Who cares when you graduated, you’re here now, right? Think about all the experiences you’ve had that no one else you know has. Think about that! They define who you are, they’re special to you, and that’s what matters.” To be honest, that’s how I’d always seen it myself, but I’d never said it out loud to anyone. It felt good to know that he felt the same way.

  • See the world that you want to live in, and make it happen. In the same vein as “Dress for the job that you want to have,” its important to have the future in mind, and I mean in the big picture sense. It’s so important to have goals and priorities. Here, he threw in a little anecdote, as well. “Everything I've done was to make my life better, in every sense of the word, and to better the people around me. Work towards something big, and work your ass off, and everything will come to you. You will make interesting friends. You’ll get the girls, you’ll get the money, you’ll get the expertise and you will find a niche. But you have to be willing to sacrifice the small shit, the bullshit, get it all out of the way. Define the world you live in.”

  • Don't be afraid of success. "Some people act like they're ashamed to make money!" His lesson here was to not take success for granted, and to be proud of your accomplishments. There are a lot of people who are, in fact, afraid or unaccustomed to succeed. A winner doesn't think like this. "Really, ashamed to make money?" he said. "What these people should do is make MORE of it, and pull up the people around them. Support their community. Take compliments in stride, be a winner!"

Anyway, I just wanted to share it with you. I’m not trying to force anything down your throats here. Obviously this is a variation of things that we’ve all heard before, but the experience I had with this guy was awesome. Being around someone so charismatic and successful who is also so genuine and friendly really helped drive some of these points home, and I think that the talk I had with him was a beneficial for me as it was therapeutic for him. He thanks ME for listening to him “rant,” while I thanked him for the 15 minutes of wisdom.

TLDR: I dunked on LeBron, and found out where unicorns go when they die. edit: Almost forgot that last bullet point there, which i should expand on. That was really the meat of the conversation, and applies the most to this sub.