To me, pickup is about self improvement. Of course I want to have an awesome girlfriend, but that is no longer really the point. It's just something that does or doesn't happen alongside my focus on being as effective as I can be.

For the first time in my adult life I'm totally happy being by myself because my validation doesn't come from women. It comes from my life. Paradoxically, it's the same life I started working on because of pickup, but I ended up caring more about my life. Crazy thing.

This gives me the ability to say exactly what I think when I am hanging out with girls without caring what they think of it, and it's like crack to them. Mind you, I'm not talking about being a dick, I'm talking about being able to say "Hey, I'm going over here. Come along if you want," and not really caring if she does or not. It's a game changer.

My worst sticking points came from wishing that there would be a time when I could relax, stop "playing games" and have some beautiful girl "love me for me." I'm embarrassed to say that I was ever that mentally lazy, but there you go.

I never wish that I could stop playing games anymore because I'm not playing. I became the game, where the game is defined as having an enjoyable life.

So, if you're wondering when you can stop playing games and just be yourself, there's bad news and there's good news. The bad news is, you never really get to relax, but the good news is that if your validation is coming from the right places you'll stop wanting to.