Last Friday, I didn't plan on going out, but after the post from Cakebread... I thought we should meet up. We met up at a pub in Venice. And it was dead, so I felt kind of dumb.

Anyways, I saw a girl solo, clearly looking as she shot us a glance. I didn’t get eye contact, so I thought it was all him. I let him know and he went for it. He paused halfway and I knew that was a bad sign, which is when I learned something highly valuable. The pressure of a wingman. You don’t want to look like you’re afraid to your buddy, so a wingman can make you do something you otherwise would pass on. So I gave him the look like, “go go go!” It didn’t work out, but he tried none the less.

Then we went next door, a club sort of place and there’s like five people there. We chilled an talked then hopped over to another place which is very similar. It was packed. Get on the dance floor and start moving when a woman near me starts moving so I grab her by the hips, just placing my hands there so she knows I’m there. I used to think, place one hand so she has the option to leave. No, after this, I realized two hands means you are dancing with me, I decided. After separating and meeting up a few times she shit tested me, “how old are you?” To which I made the response, “how old do you think I am?” “28!” What!?! She was projecting what she wanted on me. I just turned twenty four and nobody has ever said anything over twenty two; I look young.

I said fifty, which killed it and she left me. I went back up to her and said twenty four to which she said “we’re a cougar pack! I’m like twelve years older than you! OMG.” Whatever. She was nice, we had a few good dances.

I go back to Cakebread. He was working on a set, so I figured wing him and get the friend distracted, if not for myself. We’re flirting, very playful. Somehow it comes up she’s married, I tell her I’m in an open relationship. We keep flirting and things start slowing down and looks like Cakebread might not be getting this other girl. So I suggest going back to the place we were previously, forgetting it was dead, but smart because it kept it interesting for the group.

It didn’t work out for her either, but we ended up getting really rough with each other. Like fighting, specifically over the cherry in her drink. Pushing and grabbing. She starting pinching my nipples and I say, “eh, that’s not fair at all.” So she flashes me. Danced a little more and Cakebread comes over and tells me he’s leaving, I realize it’s almost over. (But remembering, it’s never too late).

Last call. My other wing and I go outside. That set bails immediately. When my friends goes, “I know this girl” in a set. I figured I’m done and light up a joint. I was just going to wing him. I start flirting with the friend (she smokes too), then take her dancing in the middle of the street as we walk them. Then carry her on my back. Do a miniature hide and seek from the friends… and she says “you can crash at my place.” We’re talking a 30 minute walk. And this is where it gets weird.

She at some pointed mentioned she was an optician’s assistant. Who cares. Then when we’re passing a store, she’s like here’s my work. WHAT?! This is my optician and I went in that day. I tell her this and doesn’t believe me… and I follow up, “you can look up my records, I’m not going to tell you my number or ask for yours.” I started realizing this is the same girl that flirted with me in the office two months ago.

Then I was paying more attention. She was escalating on me. She had me sitting at a bus stop and gets on my lap. Closed that kiss. She says we have miles more of walking, we need a taxi. She’s trying to separate us. Taxi comes, my friend doesn’t get in and she starts telling me, “you can sleep on my futon.” I don’t respond. We get to their place (me and them, they’re roommates). We have mad munchies and eat a bunch of goodies. She brings me sweatpants and I lay down, the friend goes to her room. Bam! Guess who’s sleeping on the futon with me?

She acts like she’s going to sleep. I call her on that shit and start getting on her in like 30 seconds. It was hot. We move to her room… 45 minutes later we call the quits and nobody goes (5:30am). Fail. She says “what about tomorrow?” I can’t, I’m leaving town for a my mom’s birthday. Then we pass out.

She has work at 8:00am, holy crap. I wake up and realize… she has my records! Fuck. My girlfriend is listed as my spouse on insurance. She has my name. I tell her I’m in an open relationship, she seems sad. I kiss her goodbye. Says she’s still going to call me, but never does.

I feel bad. I think she thinks that meant don’t call me. I’m going to go in after work and tell her I still want the phone call she promised me. Any advice?

TL;DR Touchdown, then fumble.