The Role of Self-Deprecating Humor in Seduction

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-06-01T11:33:17+00:00

I listened to a seminar by mPUAs that said never ever use self-deprecating humor. It brings out the flaws in your inner game, puts you in the wrong frame, and kills attraction.

I have a tendency to use self-deprecating humor a lot. So I decided to watch myself carefully and eliminate it totally. To my astonishment, I still couldn't help myself, I inadvertently made self-deprecating jokes. And most astonishing, it killed attraction instantly. I watched in horror as I blew myself out of set after set. I am now very careful to avoid self-deprecation in any way, but it is difficult, we integrate it subtly into our self-image. And that is the worst effect, not what it does when you use it in sets, but what it does to your inner game.

2011-06-01T11:42:03+00:00

Random female opinion: it's a plus if you are attractive and puts you into the potential relationship category (other characteristics allowing).

If you aren't attractive, don't try it.

2011-06-01T05:46:06+00:00

Against other peoples advice, I use it pretty often. I counter the image that I might be "insecure" by taking control of certain situations and displaying my dominant alpha side also. If you mix it in it's not always a negative thing and can lighten up a situation and build comfort.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2011-06-01T06:21:23+00:00

Does it belong?

I think so, but I'm far from an expert. I tease everyone and everything, so I'd be a big dick if I didn't point the gun at myself from time to time. I'll readily throw out a high-five to anyone that gets me with a good one.

Just make sure you're not doing it to cover up real insecurities. That's pretty transparent. If they're sincerely laughing, they believe you're strong enough to take the joke. That's good. If it's just a slight chuckle followed by a sympathetic response, they think you're just trying to deflect. That's bad.

might pigeonhole you as a funny-man/muse

You only pigeonhole yourself if that's all you're bringing to the table.

2011-06-01T11:35:07+00:00

I think there are two different situation where self-deprecating humor comes up. The first is when someone jokes around with you. Being able to take a joke is a very important trait to show. The other is to lead with a self-deprecating joke. That is, to introduce the topic yourself without being prompted. I suggest avoiding that sort of humor.

So if a girl says: "wow, your clumsy" as a joke then there is little harm in exaggerating that and agreeing or playing along. Or if you accidentally knock over something on a table you can use it as a joke. But don't volunteer: "I'm actually very clumsy" out of the blue.

The difference is in "taking" the joke or "making" a joke. You can self-deprecate when you take but avoid self-deprecating when you make.

rocafelton · 2011-06-01T15:32:57+00:00

There's a difference between self-deprecation and insecurity... you can still come off completely alpha while pointing out something you did wrong...There's a big difference between: "What an awful parking job... I'd be better off letting Stevie Wonder valet my car after a frat party." and "If my man tits were any bigger I'm pretty sure I'd have serious back problems."

Title	The Role of Self-Deprecating Humor in Seduction
Author	Shambot
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	June 1, 2011 1:08 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hooip/the_role_of_selfdeprecating_humor_in_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-role-of-self-deprecating-humor-in-seduction.1318902 https://theredarchive.com/post/1318902

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