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IANAPUA_Yet Archive

View 15 posts and 1,429 comments by IANAPUA_Yet on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Touch is the key difference between a bf and a bff. If she's on a date with you, it's because she's thinking of you in romantic terms, which means she's interested in your touch. She may not spend much time thinking about it consciously, but it's definitely there.
/r/seduction08/12/17 06:09 AM
1

I think you're missing the big picture. The whole point of DiCarlo is that touching is a process that escalates in accordance with feedback from the girl. It's far better to start it at the beginning of the first date and proceed slowly than it is create a touch barrier for X dates and then slam on the accelerator. Also, if it comes across as "pushy", you're doing it wrong.
/r/seduction04/12/17 02:01 AM
4

DiCarlo Escalation Ladder gives you some good, step-by-step guidelines. But mostly, you need to get over the "weirdness" concerns. By the time you're in your 20s, intimate physical contact is the norm on dates. Keeping your hands to yourself is what's "weird"! She's going on dates with you because she wants you to touch her. Start touching!
/r/seduction03/12/17 06:25 PM
1

even though many women seem to confirm the basic ideas: be nice, be polite, be gentle, be non-confrontational and so on. So are women really too naive to know what they really want? They're right about that. It's just not the whole picture. It's like someone telling you that to catch a fish you need a pole, line, a hook, and a boat. Oh, and you'll have better luck if you fish during the morning or evening when the fish are naturally feeding. That's great advice, but it's not enough. You still ne…
/r/seduction20/11/17 02:49 PM
136

Your mood, effort, and energy levels are different from week to week. Some combinations are more attractive than others. Mathematical variance.
/r/seduction14/11/17 02:53 PM
6

Someone once told me that a relationship should be split 60/40... with both people trying to be the 60. Also, grab a copy of The Five Love Languages from your local library. It should be required reading for anyone interested in relationships.
/r/seduction19/10/17 07:39 PM
1

The same way you seduce anybody else: Approach. Flirt. Have fun. Escalate kino.
/r/seduction19/10/17 01:30 PM
3

My first couple dates are usually pulled from the following list: Fall: coffee, beer, walk in the park, cider mill, community events, my hobbies, my errands Winter: coffee, beer, ice skating, community events, my hobbies, my errands By the third date, she should be comfortable enough for a private date. At this point, you can cook dinner together, share a bottle of wine, watch netflix, etc. Eventually you need to go off script and start adding some variety to keep things interesting, but by that…
/r/seduction18/10/17 03:47 PM
1

We're talking about dates, not hobbies. I have plenty of hobbies, but they don't all make for great dates. What's the difference? A date is nothing more than getting together with a girl and doing a thing. The "thing" can be anything you want.* * Be cognizant of her safety concerns. She doesn't know that you're not a rapist.
/r/seduction18/10/17 03:23 PM
2

The first couple dates should be things that you like to do anyways. There are several reasons for this: You probably don't have a good idea what she likes to do. Even if you do know something about her hobbies, you're probably keying off the same part of her profile that every guy notices, so you're still not very original or interesting. She doesn't care about the activity. She's there because she wants to meet you. Every now and then you'll come up with a date idea that makes for a great stor…
/r/seduction18/10/17 03:07 PM
2

Stop going on dates that need to be paid for.
/r/seduction18/10/17 01:39 PM
5

They are a united team that cannot be split, Couples split all the fucking time. Most of the couples you see haven't even been together very long and/or won't be together much longer. The truth is that you have very little experience, so frankly, you don't have a fucking clue what you're talking about when it comes to relationships. All the ideas in your head are based on nothing more than fiction and hearsay. You don't know what relationships are like. You don't know what you are like in a rela…
/r/seduction15/10/17 04:32 PM
3

People get offended by all sorts of things. You can't go through life worrying about that shit. If someone gets upset, just ask yourself a simple question: Did I do anything wrong? If so, apologize. If not, shrug your shoulders and let them be as offended as they want. In regards to boners, there's really nothing you can do about them. If someone wants to avoid your boner, they should refrain from rubbing up against your crotch.
/r/seduction29/09/17 02:31 AM
12

It's a 10 minute walk. Even if all hell breaks loose, you can survive a quiet 10 minute walk.
/r/seduction14/09/17 07:39 PM
14

Mindset: * This is a long-term process. Nothing is going to change overnight. * If it was going to come easy for you, it would have come already. Be prepared to work at it. * You will have to face rejection; stop taking it personally * If you try to please everyone, you'll be boring to everyone. Have a personality. * Beauty is common; don't go gaga over a girl just cuz she has a nice ass. Make sure she has a good personality too. Conversation: * Dig beneath the facts of a story. Discuss emotions…
/r/seduction07/09/17 04:31 AM
13

Second is that if I can get sex from hookups with no other gf attachments then why would I want a gf anyway? If the only thing you like about a girl is sex, you definitely shouldn't get in a relationship with her. If you're any good at dating, though, you'll occasionally meet a girl that you actually enjoy being around clothed. Sometimes you'll even click so well with that the "hassles" of dating her aren't even hassles. These are the ones you form relationships with. It's pretty awesome.
/r/seduction05/09/17 07:17 PM
2

I can't really hold a good conversation with a girl the same way I do with guys. Yes you can. You just haven't done it yet. I think the issue is I put females up on a pedastal and I don't know how to take them off. You do it by a) regularly reminding yourself that she is every bit as flawed as any man you've ever met, even if you haven't seen her flaws yet and b) learning to ignore that fearful, judgmental voice in the back of your head.
/r/seduction26/08/17 03:35 PM
8

What can a 16 year old do to get female friends It's pretty much the same as getting male friends. Chat and do fun things together. If you want to be more than friends with a particular girl, add in some extra kino. My concerns are making myself look like an idiot in an environment where I'll see the same people every day, so embarrassment will be really bad. That is something the pretty much every high schooler fears. The good news is that you are all awkward little twits. 😉 You are all going t…
/r/seduction26/08/17 02:44 PM
41

"What are we going to do?" is a polite way of saying, "I'm not going to jump immediately into bed with you, so I hope you have something planned to break the ice first." So... come up with something and tell her.
/r/seduction24/08/17 06:11 PM
15

Bills for what? If you've been taking her out for dinner, you need to stop doing that boring shit. Regardless, do NOT thrust the bill at her next time as others have suggested. That's rude in any circumstance. Have a conversation about it like a mature adult. Or better yet, just stop going on dates that cost money. You can't make her spend her money, but you can stop putting yourself in positions where you'll have to spend your own.
/r/seduction23/08/17 03:38 PM
1

If you don't know how to meet and attract girls at home, you're probably not going to do any better in Greece, cuz the game is the pretty much the same everywhere you go: Meet lots of girls and escalate kino. Give it your best shot and have fun. When you get back, keep practicing and keep having fun. Eventually, you'll start getting results.
/r/seduction08/08/17 02:57 AM
34

If you don't want a girlfriend, don't act like a boyfriend.
/r/seduction11/07/17 04:03 PM
1

I don't know I just don't get it. Why do you people smile at complete strangers? In the context of seduction, you smile at complete strangers because you want to them to stop being strangers! The whole point of this is to meet a stranger and get to know her. Smiling is a tiny first step to that. Forget his rant. Keep working on it.
/r/seduction19/06/17 04:04 AM
2

A bad smile is better than no smile at all. Keep at it and eventually the smiles will start to come out better. Also, it helps if you think of something funny or sexy as you're smiling.
/r/seduction16/06/17 03:22 AM
1

There's no magic to it. You just have to will yourself to act in spite of that negative voice in your head. Keep at it.
/r/seduction16/06/17 02:45 AM
3

If you have to try that hard to find commonalities then you just don't click. This is only true if you have limited social skills. Someone with sharp skills (salesmen, politicians, etc) can "click" with damn near anyone without much effort at all. OP can do whatever the hell he wants, but I think he'll be better off in the long run if he works on improving his skills rather than waiting for a "natural connection" to fall into his lap.
/r/seduction13/06/17 07:46 PM
25

How in the world could you have nothing in common with someone? You're both human, right? You both breathe, eat, sleep? You're in approximately the same geographical area, same generation? You've had some schooling, worked a bit? If you truly think you have nothing in common with someone, the problem is almost certainly that you're not very good at finding commonalities. Work on your general conversational skills. But if you truly don't click with someone, move on. There are billions of people i…
/r/seduction13/06/17 04:31 PM
7

If someone talks shit I'll break their face A lot of guys are attracted to petite women, so I don't think anyone is going to give you shit for dating the little gymnast. Don't be a fucking meathead. A strong man doesn't need to fight over silly little jokes.
/r/seduction22/05/17 11:05 AM
1

"That's an interesting ______. I like the way it _____." Pause. hopefully she responds with some good conversation fodder. If not: "What do you like about it?"
/r/seduction22/05/17 02:33 AM
1

Direct openers are fine too, but they won't jumpstart the conversation unless you're compliment something specific.
/r/seduction22/05/17 12:39 AM
1

You can say that if you want, but it still isn't going to lead naturally into a conversation. Look into observational and opinion openers.
/r/seduction21/05/17 06:04 PM
1

An opener is a statement (or statements) that creates an initial topic of conversation. You chat on that subject for at least a few seconds and then you drift on to new topics. "Hi" isn't really an opener, because it doesn't go anywhere. It's just a greeting. You still need that initial topic to continue things after she says "hi" back.
/r/seduction21/05/17 02:21 PM
2

If you want both numbers, ask for both numbers. If you're only interested in one of them, you don't have to hide that fact. They understand that you have preferences. If their friendship is full of jealousies, that's their own damn problem.
/r/seduction19/05/17 03:42 PM
56

Dude, in the span of about 48 hours, your name has become permanently etched in my mind. You're spending way too much time on here. If you want to get a date, you have to put your phone away and start approaching women.
/r/seduction19/05/17 03:27 PM
1

Sure, but you don't want rookies getting the idea that they can have overnight success. They'll get frustrated and give up when they realize it's not that simple.
/r/seduction17/05/17 04:09 AM
1

Eh, you have a valid point, but there are also a lot of basic social skills that many beginners lack. Even with the perfect mindset, it still takes time to learn those skills.
/r/seduction17/05/17 01:31 AM
1

It's super common for certain positions to just not be possible for both partners, even if one is capable. Part of sex is that we go through this messy experiment. It's not required that one know beforehand​ that it will work. That's really the core of my point, though. Ideas are great, solo play is great, but that all becomes a distant memory shortly after you have real experience with the stuff. Those naive notions you had won't do a damn thing to help when you find out you have major incompat…
/r/seduction16/05/17 01:04 AM
1

Nobody's force-feeding anything. The vast majority of guys that come here are desperate for sex, so we help them get there. If you don't want to have sex, don't have sex. You still need to approach, flirt, and escalate, but if you want to stop short of sex, that's your prerogative.
/r/seduction15/05/17 08:14 PM
2

People do settle for what they have also. Yeah, that's the exact OPPOSITE of what we're trying to teach here. We want to teach guys to have good relationships and learning about their sexuality is big part of that.
/r/seduction15/05/17 07:58 PM
1

It's easy enough to imagine which positions you'd like to try, if you have read up on sexual positions. Maybe I'm just clumsy, but there's a huge difference between reading about a position and getting my body to actually do the thing in the right spot at a decent rhythm.
/r/seduction15/05/17 07:55 PM
3

You don’t need to try something to know if you want it or not. It's not about knowing whether or not you want it; the vast majority of people do want it. Even if they're waiting for some reason, it's still definitely part of their life plan. The tricky part is figuring out how you want it. Positions, rhythms, fetishes, frequency, time of day.... there are sooooo many variables and you can't possibly figure out which ones you enjoy without trying them. If you wait until marriage, you're entering …
/r/seduction15/05/17 07:36 PM
3

Are you getting what you want out of the effort you're putting into this girl? Sounds like no. If it's not working for you, why would you want to continue?
/r/seduction13/05/17 10:53 PM
2

I'm closing in on 40... parenthood is practically a given at this age. It's not something to be taken lightly and I'm not out to be anybody's White Knight, but kids aren't something to be feared. Follow these key rules and you'll be fine: Don't go near the kids until you've genuinely fallen in love with the woman. Including the kids will cloud the emotions, making it harder to tell if the relationship is truly a good one. She needs to be fairly independent. If she's desperately trying to get in …
/r/seduction04/05/17 06:46 PM
7

There's fun to be had anywhere. Those girls you're looking down your nose at... some of will surprise you. Try being less judgmental. Small town game is the same as anywhere else except you have to dial it all down a few notches. You have to protect your reputation as a decent guy since everybody knows everybody. Source: I live in a smaller town than you.
/r/seduction04/05/17 06:15 PM
1

Dude, don't listen to that other guy. He has a wicked chip on his shoulder for some reason. Date and have fun. Stay away from the kid and you'll be fine. If she tries to get you to spend time with the kid before you've been dating a few months, that's a bad sign. Otherwise, enjoy yourself.
/r/seduction04/05/17 06:11 PM
1

You're 27. Never date a single mom unless you're older and her kids are grown. What the fuck? Who pissed in your cheerios? You do realize that most people start families in their mid-20s, right? A girl's life isn't "fucked up" if she had kids in her 20s and OP's life wouldn't necessarily be fucked up by dating her. He should be very careful not to let emotions of parenthood blind him to whatever red flags a woman might have, but really that goes for anyone.
/r/seduction04/05/17 06:08 PM
6

So what you're saying is that this isn't about the bump; this is about you now knowing how to carry on an interesting conversation with a stranger. No worries, it's a common problem. Read the sidebar and then make it a point to practice having conversations with strangers. You'll get better with practice.
/r/seduction29/04/17 07:17 PM
13

but then why isn't that what women do rather than bumping their butt into a guy's side on purpose? Because most women don't ever initiate overtly. A veiled initiation is the best you can hope for. You can let this bother you if you want or you can accept that this is a part of the game that isn't likely to change in your lifetime. In other words, stop worrying about "why". Just take the hint and say "hi".
/r/seduction29/04/17 06:09 PM
1

I'd say it depends on the girl, the type of relationship you're pursuing, and how often your schedule gets this busy. If it's purely casual connection, you can put it in hibernation for years and it might still be there when you want it. If you're shooting for a stronger connection, however, that generally requires at least a little bit of communication on a regular basis.
/r/seduction29/04/17 01:25 PM
2

Small doses of communication every few days so she knows you're still interested. Other than that, it'll be what it'll be.
/r/seduction29/04/17 01:09 PM
209

The laws regarding sex with 16 and 17 year olds might prohibit certain age gaps. Understand your local laws thoroughly before proceeding. "I didn't know the law" won't keep you out of jail. Make damn sure she's truly 17. Seriously. Ask for her ID and study it carefully to be sure it's legit. "She lied about her age" won't keep you out of jail. Don't hang out with her when she's skipping school or otherwise somewhere she's not supposed to be. "Contributing to the delinquency of a minor" is a real…
/r/seduction18/04/17 04:40 PM
1

What's "rude/disrespectful" about asking a girl out in front of her friends? Life isn't like elementary school, where you have to invite everybody to your birthday party. Unless they're some really catty bitches, they want their friend to find a great guy. If you come across as that great guy, they'll actually cheer you on. Sexuality/dating isn't something you need to hide or be ashamed of. You can and should be out in the open about it.
/r/seduction12/02/17 03:02 PM
10

Think back to when you were a rookie. They're vulnerable and afraid of a lot of things. If deleting the post makes them more comfortable about coming here for help, I say let them delete the post. They shouldn't feel the need to, but if they do, who cares? It's not like any of those posts are /r/bestof/ material anyways. It's generally FAQ-level stuff.
/r/seduction01/02/17 12:56 PM
1

Sure. Women love to play matchmaker. If she hesitates, however, don't push her because she's probably trying to let you down easily.
/r/seduction29/01/17 08:07 PM
2

It's a common feeling for rookies, but it's something you need to get over. Eye contact is perfectly normal and necessary.
/r/seduction29/01/17 07:58 PM
1

This isn't Ask Seddit though. It's Seddit AskSeddit-esque questions end up here all the time. I took a look at his posting history and estimated him to be a beginner who was putting too much focus on the celebrity and hype that surround Strauss. You derailed the thread unnecessarily. I was outvoted and the thread did fine. No harm done. he actually asked a question related to a rather valid and important issue of inner game. Even if there does happen to be a valuable lesson in how things turned …
/r/seduction20/01/17 09:54 PM
-10

I'm relaxed. I'm just trying to get him to focus on things that actually matter. If you spend any time in /r/askseddit, you'll see that that's usually what beginners need. They use distractions like this so they can feel like they're making an effort while avoiding the scary real life work that would actually help them progress.
/r/seduction20/01/17 04:36 PM
1

You've come to the right place. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction20/01/17 03:28 PM
1

Read a few articles and then practice, practice, practice. Reading is worthless without the practice.
/r/seduction20/01/17 03:25 PM
1

It sounds like you're looking for "indicators of interest", IOIs. Most human interactions involve a lot of subtle, subcommunication and dating is no exception. In the long run, understanding these indicators will be an important part of your game. However, it is not useful for beginners. If you don't have much experience, you're probably going to miss most of the IOIs and even if you recognize them, you'll still be unsure (as you are today) because the IOIs are ambiguous by nature. The mantra fo…
/r/seduction20/01/17 03:16 PM
5

Yeah, it's still not a good story to tell a stranger. It's ok to push the envelope from time to time, but don't be surprised if it goes sideways.
/r/seduction18/01/17 02:51 AM
17

A dude whipping his dick out is funny to us, but a woman on that train would have been worried that the dude might cross other boundaries and assault them. When you told the story in a light-hearted manner, she probably began to worry about whether you knew where the proper boundaries are. Dating is an inherently dangerous thing for women and since there was very little investment at that point, she decided it was safer to blow you off and spend her time on one of the thousand other guys that we…
/r/seduction18/01/17 01:25 AM
2

Are you seriously going to make the biggest decision of your life (so far) based on some generalizations that some dude on the internet pulled out of his ass? I hope you're not that dumb.
/r/seduction16/01/17 02:04 PM
1

Here are my experiences with college girls from various universities over the years: There are 2500 universities in the U.S. with over 10 million students enrolled. Even if you've fucked a hundred college girls and met a thousand more, your sample size is still woefully inadequate and probably highly biased. Your advice up top is good, but you should delete the ridiculous generalizations at the bottom. You can't seriously draw conclusions about large student bodies (and whole conferences!) based…
/r/seduction16/01/17 12:16 PM
4

"If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check the bottom of your shoe."
/r/seduction15/01/17 02:13 PM
3

The only reason any girl goes to Bumble is because they don't want to have to deal with guys that they're not attracted to. Girls don't swipe blindly, especially on Bumble. If you get a message from a girl on Bumble -- even a lame one word message -- you know the game is on before you've typed even a single word. That's a great starting point.
/r/seduction15/01/17 06:40 AM
23

By the time a girl messages you on Bumble, she's already made it clear that she's attracted to you twice (once by swiping, once by messaging) but you're brushing them off because their opener wasn't good enough for you? You're wasting opportunities, man. On Bumble, a girl is already doing more of the work than in any other dating environment, so don't get greedy and expect her to lead every step. If the opener is lame, you should just ignore it and throw out your own opener to push the conversat…
/r/seduction14/01/17 09:26 PM
1

Poly is a very broad term. Some people use it as a cover for cheating, but there are many people who genuinely practice one of its many flavors.
/r/seduction13/01/17 05:18 AM
2

If she persists and brings it up again then you a) didn't do a good enough job the first time. B) you hold frame and take any approach you are comfortable with, be it change the subject, agree & amplify etc. If she persists, that means your deflection wasn't good enough? You seriously can't wrap your head around the idea that sometimes people ask questions because they want information? If she's thinking of sleeping with you then it's her job to inspect you prior to putting anything inside of he…
/r/seduction09/01/17 08:18 PM
5

it's something they "genuinely" do not need to know the answer to. If they're asking a question to see how you react, it's a shit test. Right? That's what it says in the second paragraph of your link. The appropriate response is to agree and amplify, right. If the question was intended as a shit test, she'll see you handle it with ease and she'll be impressed by your poise. She's not going to harp on the question because she doesn't actually care about the answer; she cared about the reaction an…
/r/seduction09/01/17 08:00 AM
5

So what? Being a moderator doesn't make him right about everything.
/r/seduction09/01/17 07:14 AM
1

"A couple" means 2. You can get credit for a little bit of wiggle room there, but if your actual number is more than 5, she's going to rightly consider your answer to be a lie. Don't lie. If you're not going to answer with a number, you should choose words that don't have such a specific meaning.
/r/seduction09/01/17 04:33 AM
5

"How many people have you slept with" is not a shit test. It's something that a lot of people genuinely want to know. You can and should choose your words carefully to frame your answer in a positive light, but trying to dodge the question isn't going to work and it'll just make you seem guilty.
/r/seduction09/01/17 04:29 AM
1

there is no reason to be in my bedroom other than to get in my bed or use my laptop. The reason is privacy. There are many reasons to want privacy other than sex. there is just nothing to do in my bedroom other than sex. What are you doing in the living room? Chatting? Playing a game? Watching a movie? You could do most of these things in your bedroom without much trouble.
/r/seduction05/01/17 03:36 PM
1

You escalate kino (and do a lot of other things right).
/r/seduction05/01/17 04:24 AM
3

This applies to all aspects of seduction. You should be way too busy to sit around worrying about whether she read your message.
/r/seduction05/01/17 04:15 AM
3

Who cares if you run out of things to say? She'll probably pick up the slack (you should make her carry some of the conversation anyways) but even if it gets suuuuuuuuper awkward, who cares? Even a bad date is better than no dates.
/r/seduction05/01/17 04:14 AM
3

If she trusts you enough to come to your house, she trust you enough to come into your bedroom. You could rape her just as easily in one room versus another, so the risk factor is the same either way. You just have to treat the bedroom as if it's a living room. Invite her into your house and lead her to where you want to hang out. Then start with the basics and go through your usual escalations.
/r/seduction05/01/17 04:09 AM
4

That's a) probably a lie and b) way too defensive. OP's advice is correct.
/r/seduction05/01/17 03:59 AM
1

Do you have much dating experience? If you have know (through experience) who you are and what you want out of a relationship, then you should damn sure bide your time for a good match. But if you don't have much experience, you're only guessing about what's important to you. We men tend to focus a lot on appearances, but the simple fact of the matter is that that's only one part of the equation. You've already wasted a big chunk of your life on the sidelines. Why waste even more? You might be s…
/r/seduction02/01/17 04:53 AM
6

Basically I'm an introvert when I'm sober and an extrovert when I'm buzzed. You're probably not introverted. You're probably at least mildly extroverted. It just doesn't show because you have shitty social skills and you're too afraid to actually put yourself out there without liquid courage. Really just thinking of staying home and playing XCOM 2 but I do want a midnight kiss so.. None of this has anything to do with NYE. Your lack of social skills is a problem that has been building for decade…
/r/seduction30/12/16 08:48 PM
5

There's nothing wrong with hanging with them, but stop trying to learn from them. You need to take control of your life and start learning through experience. Approach, approach, approach.
/r/seduction27/12/16 03:58 AM
1

He finished on an ecological note, but the rest of it is direct attempt to show how small human history is on a cosmic scale. We're microscopic beings living on a dot.
/r/seduction26/12/16 10:37 PM
24

If your time is limited, attack the biggest problem. If you have plenty of time, attack all problems.
/r/seduction26/12/16 03:18 AM
32

It's about putting things in perspective. It's particularly relevant to newbies that are trying to scale the mountain known as Approach Anxiety. It might help some of them to know that the mountain is really just an ant hill.
/r/seduction24/12/16 04:11 PM
2

So... Stop sucking. Its an important skill. Work on it.
/r/seduction20/12/16 12:15 AM
1

Preferences vary from person to person Insecurity is insecurity. Removing the redness won't remove your insecurity. You'll either be insecure about imperfections of the removal or you'll find a totally different body part to be insecure about. Your personality is more important than your body. Work on your skills.
/r/seduction18/12/16 02:50 AM
1

That's great, but it's still just one date. Will the dynamics be the same in a month? Probably not. Will you enjoy the new dynamics when they develop? Maybe, maybe not. Also, you should be wondering why an older, beautiful woman was so nervous on the date. If she's as awesome as you say, I would expect her to have more experience and poise. There might be some major problems hiding under the surface.
/r/seduction17/12/16 11:33 PM
1

Im afraid to tell her this, I dont want to scare her off. Please give me tips IM DYING!! You're not going to need to tell her. If you continue to indulge these wild fantasies, she's going to smell the desperation from a mile away. Is this what they call love at first sight? No, it's called a "crush", "infatuation", or "oneitis". It's what happens when a guy with a poor dating life suddenly gets a little attention from a decent woman. If you were coming from a better place, you wouldn't be so exc…
/r/seduction17/12/16 11:06 PM
1

If she's willing to come spend time with you in private, she's already very interested and comfortable. Escalate kino. Hopefully you already did a bit of this during the date. Keep going.
/r/seduction17/12/16 04:18 PM
0

Like, if she asked me what I do and I said something like ''astronaut' or something, she'd think I was odd Would she? And if she did, would you still want to date her? When I give a girl an obviously silly answer, I expect her to play along. If she doesn't appreciate my sense of humor, she's probably not the right girl for me, so it's good that I'm learning this early in the interaction. It would also be kind of uncalibrated to be grabbing her and spinning her around and shit in my kitchen, but …
/r/seduction17/12/16 03:19 PM
1

You just sound like you have aspergers You... sound like a dick. The numbers were just rough guidelines to give a newbie an idea of the usual flow. Nobody is using a stopwatch to measure their conversations.
/r/seduction11/12/16 12:56 AM
1

If the silent thing works for you, keep up the good work. 👌
/r/seduction10/12/16 07:39 PM
1

People like talking about themselves to people they care about. She's not gonna open up until she starts to feel a connection with you. You have to carry the conversation until she does. Even after that happens, you still have to contribute enough so that she feels like she's getting to know you.
/r/seduction09/12/16 12:40 PM
38

On a cold approach? Good god, no. You can't just walk up to someone and expect them to entertain you. They have to start to care about you first. At the beginning of a cold approach, you should be doing 80% of the talking. As she begins to hook, you can drop down to 60%. Eventually, you can drop down to 20% to make her carry the conversation for awhile, but unless she's the kind of person that just likes to hear her own voice, you should be doing at least a third of the talking in the grand sche…
/r/seduction08/12/16 05:21 PM
1

I'm not loved by everybody, but I don't think there are many people of any gender that actually dislike me. Take a look in the mirror. There's probably room for improvement.
/r/seduction08/12/16 02:42 PM
2

Only if you want to be boring. Work on your conversational skills.
/r/seduction05/12/16 01:02 PM
1

Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice. Come back when you have a more specific question.
/r/seduction04/12/16 09:25 PM
3

"Just go out and talk to women" This is literally the most basic of beginner advice. You're not going to get anywhere until you start to overcome your approach anxiety. So seriously... Go talk to women. Anywhere, about anything. Just practice having conversations with vagina-owners. When you're comfortable with that, come back and we'll tell you about flirting and Kino. The conversation ends immediately after "Hi". You'll think "fuck...someone please just give me something to say". The problem i…
/r/seduction04/12/16 04:09 PM
2

Same way you get comfortable with any new skill: practice. You just have to force yourself to do it. It'll feel awkward for awhile, but eventually it'll start to happen "naturally".
/r/seduction27/11/16 04:54 PM
4

You came to the right place. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction27/11/16 01:57 PM
2

Work the room. Pick a target. Escalate kino.
/r/seduction27/11/16 05:44 AM
1

It sounds like you're looking for "indicators of interest", IOIs. Most human interactions involve a lot of subtle, subcommunication and dating is no exception. In the long run, understanding these indicators will be an important part of your game. However, it is not useful for beginners. If you don't have much experience, you're probably going to miss most of the IOIs and even if you recognize them, you'll still be unsure (as you are today) because the IOIs are ambiguous by nature. The mantra fo…
/r/seduction26/11/16 02:21 PM
1

You don't need to read a book on this stuff. If you're confused about one of the pieces of advice, ask for the appropriate clarification. If you understood, practice implementing them immediately. Practice is what will make the difference for you.
/r/seduction23/11/16 10:22 PM
2

You would probably be happier overall if you added more depth to your life, but the hobbies aren't your major dating problem. Unless you're cooking with her, meals are horrible for the first few dates. Stop doing that. These are online dates? Make the first date short. 30-45 minutes tops. Have a drink or two. Let her see that you're sane and not a catfish, break the touch barrier a bit, and leave her wanting more. Those are the only goals of the first date. It doesn't sound like you're escalatin…
/r/seduction22/11/16 01:12 PM
8

Escalate kino. If all she wants is attention, she'll blatantly stop you at some point before your penis gets inside her. It's kind of like a game of chicken; if you swerve first, you'll never know if she was going to swerve too. So if you want sex, don't swerve.
/r/seduction18/11/16 07:07 PM
1

The game is the same no matter where you go: Approach. Have fun. Escalate kino.
/r/seduction17/11/16 02:01 PM
2

Stop trying to make everything witty. Wit isn't what's going to get you laid.
/r/seduction17/11/16 01:44 PM
1

She's probably somewhat attracted to you, but has a boyfriend. Approach girls who might actually be available.
/r/seduction11/11/16 04:17 PM
3

She dodged your phone number request, so pretty sure she's not interested. If you want to give it another shot, you can ask her out. Of she dodged that too, you definitely need to forget her and move on.
/r/seduction11/11/16 03:40 PM
-1

She's obviously holding back for some reason. It might be because she's not interested oritcouldbe a million other things. Ask her out again. Keep escalating. One way or another, things will clear up soon.
/r/seduction06/11/16 02:04 PM
7

The hug was at the beginning of the date and lukewarm. That's it? You hugged her at the beginning and then missed her at the end? You should be escalating Kino throughout the date. No matter how aggressive you happen to be, there's no excuse for surprising a girl with a kiss. There should be plenty of Kino foreshadowing the kiss.
/r/seduction04/11/16 06:35 PM
9

kino
/r/seduction03/11/16 01:39 PM
1

If you have more money than you need, get a room. Otherwise, fuck her on the couch, bend her over the kitchen table, or just ignore your roommate and fuck her in your bed. Lots of people have wonderfully comfortable beds and still decide to fuck around the house. It's fun.
/r/seduction31/10/16 08:38 PM
2

And it's not a her that he puts on the pedestal but the stigma that comes with being a virgin. There's no stigma about virginity in this community. The exact opposite... this is exactly the right place for a virgin to come. OP is welcome and respected here. Like the fat guy walking into a gym, however, he needs to understand that results will take time. This shit isn't easy.
/r/seduction31/10/16 06:58 PM
3

It has nothing to do with pedestals and everything to do with the fact that dating requires skills that he probably doesn't have yet. He is not going to learn these skills overnight. True confidence comes from competence, which takes time to develop.
/r/seduction31/10/16 06:53 PM
33

Virgin here, but about to change that soon Slow down, cowboy. You're not going to go from zero to hero quickly. It's probably going to be a very bumpy road. Unrealistic expectations will keep you from making real progress. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice. I imagine that given it's my first time that would be a rather short experience for both of us. Use a condom every time and make sure you know how to use it properly. Practice if you haven't already. Don't worry about making i…
/r/seduction31/10/16 03:27 PM
3

That's the exact opposite of what we advocate. The whole point of this community is to help fragile, clueless guys become secure men.
/r/seduction21/10/16 02:46 PM
14

Same thing you say any time you lose interest in a girl: "Nice to meet you. Take care." You won't get thrown in jail for a little bit of flirting and light kino with an underage girl. As long as you catch it before any lines are crossed, you're fine. Take the time to understand your local laws, but don't live in fear over this.
/r/seduction21/10/16 02:27 PM
1

Let me guess... you're asking because your dating life sucks and you think hairdressers would be a good opportunity to get the ball rolling. Most rookies look to waitresses and bartenders, so I'll give you points for creativity, but it's still a bad idea. Pretty women in service jobs get hit on constantly, often by guys that are far better at it than you are. They're always friendly with you (because that's how they pay their rent), so they're a safe target that will try their best not to hurt y…
/r/seduction21/10/16 01:19 PM
2

Is this someone you've been dating awhile? A first date is not the time for an "adventure". She's probably not going to trust you enough to follow your lead at that stage and you really shouldn't be putting that much effort into a first date anyways.
/r/seduction21/10/16 11:46 AM
4

The DiCarlo Escalation Ladder is what you're looking for. Google it.
/r/seduction21/10/16 11:09 AM
13

The vast majority of rookies are too self-aware. They can't even get out of their head long enough to do a single approach, let alone work a whole room. Your effort to raise awareness is counterproductive.
/r/seduction18/10/16 12:52 PM
7

Approach. Flirt. Escalate Kino. Same as anywhere else. I'm sure there are specific tips that would help for Vegas, but that's advanced stuff; it's useless until you have a grasp of the basics. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction17/10/16 01:30 PM
20

It doesn't matter. Assume attraction and escalate kino. If she's not interested, she'll start distancing herself to avoid the kino. It's the only sign that really matters.
/r/seduction14/10/16 01:43 AM
1

You'll get better with experience. Practice maintaining eye contact. Practice escalating kino. Practice conversational threading.
/r/seduction12/10/16 02:59 AM
36

My thoughts on the matter: Don't ever ask her "when are you free?". No matter how busy she is, she has plenty of free time, but she isn't necessarily going to want to spend it with you. So when you ask that, you're asking her to think about all the free time she has in the coming week and plan it out well enough for her to decide which slots she's willing to offer up to you. Plus she's going to be careful not to sound too available. She's probably not going to do all that. She's probably going t…
/r/seduction11/10/16 07:57 PM
1

The "check out" isn't necessarily bad, but you didn't handle the age question well. Girls don't usually date younger guys (especially across a social barrier like 21), so you needed to be nonchalant about your answer and then smoothly move the conversation on. Giving her a pause gives her a chance to stop enjoying the conversation and start thinking about all the reasons she doesn't want to date a younger guy.
/r/seduction10/10/16 12:35 PM
1

You can't control timing. Well, I suppose you could sit there and eavesdrop on them, but they'll probably notice the guy awkwardly listening in and even if they don't, your reaction time will probably be a few seconds slow most of the time. Forget about timing. Focus on conversational skills and giving value. Also, accept that failure is a fundamental part of the game. Most sets won't go particularly well. Don't let that stop you from opening.
/r/seduction10/10/16 01:03 AM
2

Start making eye contact with them and you will eventually become comfortable making eye contact with them. Start talking to them and you will eventually become comfortable talking to them. Start touching them and you will eventually become comfortable touching them. Start kissing them and you will eventually become comfortable kissing them. Start fucking them and you will eventually become comfortable kissing them. tl;dr: Start acting. Comfort comes later.
/r/seduction23/09/16 05:37 PM
3

I am in severe lack of data. Yeah, so are we. You can't give some vague ramblings and expect to get meaningful advice. What was the situation? Got confused between (A) seize the opportunity and (B) don't chase; let her chase you. She isn't going to chase you until after she's attracted. You always have to make the initial efforts. "Don't chase" just means continue pouring in the effort if she doesn't start doing the same.
/r/seduction23/09/16 01:56 PM
6

I've only had this happen a couple times. Its not necessarily a deal breaker for me, but it's definitely not a good sign. I would proceed only in a very low effort manner. In other words, the date would consist of drinks at a bar near my house at a time that's very convenient for me on a night where my favorite sports team is playing so I have something to watch while I drink my beer if she flakes.
/r/seduction23/09/16 03:34 AM
2

The basic principles are universal. Can you hold eye contact? Carry a conversation? Escalate Kino? Ya gotta build the foundation before you build the bedroom.
/r/seduction22/09/16 02:02 PM
1

You probably should have gotten Lisa's number yourself the last time you saw her, but otherwise, there's nothing wrong with this. Chicks like playing matchmaker; Rachel's reaction was genuine.
/r/seduction22/09/16 12:16 PM
2

Yes, of course. That's why, as an inexperienced man, you shouldn't go into dating with a big checklist of criteria. You have no idea what's truly important to your happiness yet. You just have a list of what you think is important. Spend some years dating anybody that catches your fancy. As you gain experience, you'll start to figure out what's actually important to you. Then it'll make sense to start making a list.
/r/seduction21/09/16 09:07 PM
4

So what? Basic principles are universal.
/r/seduction21/09/16 08:44 PM
1

Being comfortable is a huge part of it. You're not going to get anywhere if you're not comfortable. It's not the only factor, though. There are a lot of habits and techniques you should incorporate to get the best results.
/r/seduction21/09/16 07:49 PM
2

I have no idea how to attract and get the attention of these kinds of girls Do you know how to attract and get the attention of anybody? If your dating life sucks in general, delete this post and focus on the basics for awhile. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice. Once you have a basic foundation, then you can start tailoring your approach to a certain type of girl.
/r/seduction21/09/16 07:46 PM
1

You've come to the right place. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice. P.S. Meals are horrible for first dates. Invite them for a drink or a walk in the park or something instead.
/r/seduction21/09/16 07:43 PM
1

Why? You can't change your age, so it doesn't matter if one age is better than another. Just get up and get in the game.
/r/seduction20/09/16 03:28 AM
14

Some guys need game as a stepping stone to get to a natural state like in the video. The "natural state" is nothing more than being able to execute game subconsciously. Game is game. When you get good, you don't have to consciously think about it much, but you're still doing it.
/r/seduction16/09/16 03:19 PM
2

Everybody has bad days.
/r/seduction16/09/16 01:05 PM
1

Work on it. Read the sidebar and practice implementing the advice, even if it seems unnatural to you.
/r/seduction16/09/16 01:05 PM
50

tl;dw: He uses a lot of game. He just doesn't like calling it that.
/r/seduction16/09/16 12:50 PM
1

It's a compliment, but why didn't you hit on her? If you want girls, you have to flirt with girls.
/r/seduction08/09/16 02:52 AM
1

Why? Relationships are more better when you can actually touch each other.
/r/seduction05/09/16 03:45 AM
12

Was she trying to give me signals? Yes, it was a giant neon billboard. It's rare for a woman to be that forward. Generally, you need to be a lot less passive if you want to get anywhere with a girl. Don't make the same mistake again. Did I miss my opportunity? She's probably disappoined (and maybe a little hurt) that you didn't reciprocate her interest, but it's not too late. Invite her over to your place and escalate kino. Read the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder if you don't know how.
/r/seduction30/08/16 02:37 PM
2

weekdays both of us are busy How busy could you possibly be that you couldn't find time to meet for a walk in the park or a drink or two? I'm belaboring this point because I think you have an inflated sense of what a first date is supposed to be. That will make things harder than they need to be.
/r/seduction30/08/16 02:32 PM
1

You can stick to this date if you want. What I want to know is why did you feel the need to have it on a weekend?
/r/seduction30/08/16 01:46 PM
1

Why don't you go out on a weekday? A first date should be a simple little get-together to test the IRL chemistry. It shouldn't be a giant affair with weeks of hype.
/r/seduction30/08/16 12:50 PM
3

If your gut was any good at this stuff, you wouldn't be here. Until you've garnered a bunch of positive experience, your "gut" is worse than useless. Learn to act in spite of it. Some of your friends suck too. Even the savvy ones can't help you much unless you plan on going on a lot of double dates. Stop getting drunk. Alcohol doesn't help your game. Pessimists don't get laid. Ya gotta assume the best if you want to get anywhere. Don't let your fears talk you out of it. Escalate kino!! The shoul…
/r/seduction30/08/16 12:46 PM
2

The guys in this sub have been hearing platitudes like that their entire lives and still they struggle. If you can't offer anything actionable, don't offer anything at all.
/r/seduction30/08/16 12:38 PM
2

Why? I promise you that sex is better in real life. Quit focusing on avatars and start learning how to approach the countless women that are around you every day.
/r/seduction25/08/16 07:52 PM
2

How could I gradually get rid of that self-hate (activities I could do to meet more girls)? Meeting more girls isn't going to solve your problems. Even if you magically started having sexy, lustful girls swarming you today, your self-hatred will sabotage it all. We can help you with the girl problems, but ya gotta address the underlying problem too. /r/suicidewatch/
/r/seduction22/08/16 01:41 PM
4

I immediately default to the corporate description I give to other people in business to convey my status in their language, which is downright boring. So... don't do that. Are you passionate about what you do? If so, forget about what it says on your business card and just launch into a story about the that part of the job that inspires you to get up in the morning. If you're not that passionate, just give a quick "I work in manufacturing" and then pivot to a different subject. How else would y…
/r/seduction20/08/16 03:52 PM
1

The whole point of peacocking is to loudly annouce that your value is so high that you don't need to bother with social norms. If you pull it off, it's far more effective than any story you might tell, but you undermine that instantly if you go around giving justifications.
/r/seduction20/08/16 06:36 AM
1

"Because I want to" is the only justifier he needs. If he doesn't have the strength to own his style in the face of social pressure, he's not ready to peacock.
/r/seduction19/08/16 06:25 PM
1

Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction19/08/16 05:11 PM
1

Let her talk. Escalate kino.
/r/seduction19/08/16 04:51 PM
1

It'll definitely polarize the reactions. Whether or not it's the right move for you will depend on whether you like the kind of girls that like this look. There's only one way to find out...
/r/seduction19/08/16 04:48 PM
2

First date is kinda awkward. Basic questions and answers. School, hobbies, movies, that kind of things. It shouldn't be. Work on improving your overall conversational skills. Learn how to learn about people (and teach about yourself) without a Q&A. Hint: storytelling, cold reads, role playing, and conversational threading. It takes years to truly get to know someone, so if you feel like you already know somebody after a single date, you're not digging deep enough.
/r/seduction19/08/16 10:10 AM
4

Now take some guy living in a small podunk town full of religious bible thumpers Social circle game. It's basically the same as being in school. You can't use the scorched earth techniques of someone in NYC, but all of the basic principles still apply. Is he going for the kinds of girls who don't value status that much or the kinds of girls trying to climb a social ladder? Everybody values status. You don't think about it much, but you definitely do. Have you dated any homeless girls lately? Wha…
/r/seduction18/08/16 10:34 PM
2

The differences are nowhere near as strong as the stereotypes you seem to have swallowed, but even if we buy into your crap, there are still a ton of liberals near OP, so it's not the least bit relevant.
/r/seduction17/08/16 05:17 PM
1

The first step is to recognize opportunities after the fact. The second step is to recognize them in the moment. The third step is to act on them in the moment. With enough practice, you'll eventually start acting effectively in the moment. Just keep making progress and you'll be fine.
/r/seduction17/08/16 05:03 PM
2

Georgia is over 40% liberal Atlanta, in particular, is 60% liberal Political leanings have very little to do with sexual proclivities Generalizations are dumb in general
/r/seduction17/08/16 04:50 PM
253

tl;dr: Use an opinion openers that involves a girl's favorite subject: relationships. Disagree with her for funsies.
/r/seduction17/08/16 04:19 PM
6

Then what? You can start with whatever greeting you want and you can even double-down on the cliches by asking how she's doing, but eventually you have to raise an actual topic of conversation like OP suggested.
/r/seduction17/08/16 04:18 PM
1

That's nonsense. Nobody is anywhere at age 20. College is nothing more than the next stepping stone after high school. Everybody is only just starting to figure out what they want to do with their lives at that age and they're still a long way from accomplishing it.
/r/seduction17/08/16 02:35 AM
3

Stop trying to be witty all the time. If you have nothing you want to say, don't have a conversation. Go do something else. You just met the girl and you're already seeing her and chatting with her daily? You need some more hobbies. Build a well-rounded life and you'll have a lot more to talk about.
/r/seduction16/08/16 12:03 PM
1

It is what is. If you can't/won't change something, the only other option is to embrace it. Figure out a way to tell the story of how your current sacrifices are paving the way for an awesome life.
/r/seduction16/08/16 05:24 AM
3

Better late than never. You're a bigger coward if you give up completely. More importantly, you need to break this habit of making excuses. See girl, approach girl. See girl, approach girl.
/r/seduction16/08/16 05:19 AM
22

Neediness comes from boredom, so become less bored. Find hobbies. Spend more time meeting more women. Become too busy to daydream.
/r/seduction15/08/16 02:45 PM
3

Whoever makes the approach gets first choice of the target. If your bros are the ones making the approaches, you gotta pick from their leftovers. If you're the one making the approach, stand your ground and tell your bro to back off and stop cockblocking you. tl;dr: Approach more.
/r/seduction14/08/16 10:36 PM
6

That happens naturally. Making a bullshit list based on preconceived notions is just going to give him a list of excuses to avoid taking chances. It's the ultimate in limiting beliefs. Until you have a reasonable understanding of relationships in general and yourself in particular, exploration is the only meaningful goal.
/r/seduction13/08/16 02:02 AM
29

spend some time thinking about what qualities you would prefer in a woman This is the last thing a rookie should be doing. He'll just come up some list of stuff that sounds good, but might end up being miles away from what really makes him happy. If you're just starting out, don't worry about the endgame. Just get out there and try to have fun. You'll figure out your real preferences as you gain experience.
/r/seduction12/08/16 10:01 PM
2

Is there a different way to go about dating in general that leads to something consistent rather than just meaningless hookups? No. The initial build up is pretty much the same either way. The only real difference is repetition and more getting-to-know-you conversations. I feel like my PE may be the issue Whether or not the PE is directly the problem, your anxiety about the PE is definitely a problem. https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/xyqim/rsex_faqs_ejaculating_sooner_than_you_want/
/r/seduction12/08/16 03:07 PM
3

I don't think large escalations with men will help you with women, but feel free to do it if you want. Just... be careful about homophobes. Your larger point about making kino a standard part of your life, however, is spot on. Kino, kino, kino.
/r/seduction12/08/16 02:54 PM
0

I don't think there's any connection. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?allowed_in_frame=0&search=sloven
/r/seduction08/08/16 11:30 AM
2

tl;dr: When approached by a guy you're not interested in, you should gradually pay less attention to him until he goes away.
/r/seduction03/08/16 10:52 PM
3

If you don't have anything more you want to discuss about fishing, just change the subject. It doesn't have to be a smoother or clever transition. P.S. Don't chat for long. Get to the part where you go on a date.
/r/seduction01/08/16 07:40 PM
1

Of course it matters. Everything matters. If all else is equal, most women will prefer the taller guy. They'll also prefer the stronger guy, the smarter guy, the richer guy, etc, etc. It's never that simple, though. She's never going to be choosing between you and a taller version of you. It's always going to be a tangled mess of pros and cons, of which height is only one factor. girls typically only like guys taller than them. That's the cliche, but it's not a hard-and-fast rule. Most women don…
/r/seduction31/07/16 02:45 PM
1

You're not going to get a better answer than what /u/letsgetrandy/ gave you yesterday. Quit spamming. If you haven't already, read the sidebar and start practicing.
/r/seduction30/07/16 03:52 PM
17

I have no idea what she looks like. Is your dating life so busy that you don't have time to go on a date and find out? She could be underage. There's no such thing as "underage" for a phone call. Call her. Chat. Ask her age at some point. (beware that if she is young, she might lie). What teenage girl doesnt have a cell phone though? Who cares? So what should I say when I call her? Just chat. If you enjoy the chat, ask her out. If you enjoy the date, keep dating. You don't have to figure the who…
/r/seduction29/07/16 05:17 PM
1

If you want a girl to do something that she's not otherwise doing, you have to invite her. She might decline, though. You can't make her.
/r/seduction29/07/16 03:22 PM
9

Regardless of your life situation, your results will be in proportion to your skills. If you don't take the time to build your skills, going back to school isn't going to help you get laid.
/r/seduction27/07/16 02:56 PM
2

Can you still do successful approaches at suburban bars and areas? Nope. Suburbanites don't date. /s
/r/seduction24/07/16 05:11 AM
1

It's normal for any community to have a lot more rookies than experts. The bigger the community, the bigger the pool of rookies. Help them and they'll eventually become the next gang of experts.
/r/seduction23/07/16 01:00 AM
10

I've been here six years and there have always been people claiming that the sub "ain't what it used to be." People are nostalgic like that. The bottom line, however, is the same as it's always been: what you get out of this community is directly proportional to what you put into it.
/r/seduction21/07/16 08:02 PM
1

i was planning to end the convo at that point anyway Then you should have done so instead of trying to get her to end the conversation. any other tips? Text Game 101: Build attraction in person Text less, a lot less Ask her out sooner, a lot sooner
/r/seduction20/07/16 01:02 PM
7

me:So if im bothering you just say the word Haha Don't do that. It's unnecessary (she'll end the conversation if she wants to; she doesn't need your permission) and it screams insecurity. me: [offering to extend an invite the next time i go on this activity] You should have done that about 50 texts sooner. Now, make that activity happen within the next week or so.
/r/seduction20/07/16 06:56 AM
1

there's a very limited pool due to most of the top end girls ( looking wise) are all in relationships Never in your life will you be surrounded by more girls around your age than when you're in school. These girls are entering the prime of their lives. Even the mediocre ones are hotter than anything you'll be fucking in 15 years. Most of the guys are all talk and no game. You will never have less competition than you do now. Everybody wants a hot girlfriend. It doesn't matter what ages we're tal…
/r/seduction19/07/16 02:19 PM
2

Cold approaches don't apply because the girls know who you are. That makes them "warm" approaches. But you still have to approach! Are you comfortable walking up to a girl and chatting with her? If not, you need to get comfortable. It'll only get harder if you wait until after school to learn these skills.
/r/seduction19/07/16 12:41 PM
2

It's really weird, and it's always been this way - all of the girls that I've dated or hooked up with have had to initiate it. It's not weird; it's a garden variety "approach anxiety". Now, here's what you need to realize: very few woman will make the first move. The percentage is soooo low, that it's completely normal for passive men to go yeeeeeeeears between dates. Sound familiar? Even worse: the few women who do make the first move tend to be less attractive and/or unstable. Conclusion: if y…
/r/seduction19/07/16 12:32 PM
7

I doubt it's something he's ever discussed at length publicly. Regardless, the journey is basically the same for everybody: Realize there's a problem. Decide to fix the problem. Research articles and videos. Make excuses about why you can't go out and practice. Stop making excuses. Start practicing. Live happily ever after. It sounds like you're on step 4.
/r/seduction19/07/16 12:05 PM
1

just keep escalating? Yes. No matter how "touchy-feely" she is, somewhere there's a line that she doesn't cross for platonic friends. She doesn't let just anybody touch her pussy. If you want to be lovers, keep escalating until you've crossed that line. Then you'll find out if she's game.
/r/seduction18/07/16 10:08 PM
3

I tease/playfully challenge/push girls too much. That stuff is great early on, but once she's hooked, dial it back a bit and just use it occasionally to keep her on her toes. Can you guys give me your best knowledge/tips on how to emotionally connect with women? You drop the jokes and talk about things that are important to each of you. And not just the surface level stuff... talk about the emotional underpinnings of the stories.
/r/seduction18/07/16 10:06 PM
1

More moves. Smaller moves. Also, stop trying so hard to be funny. Jokes aren't what will get you laid.
/r/seduction18/07/16 09:43 PM
1

I would wager that the girl yelling, "I could fuck anybody I want," has figured out that yes, she can. She might be too crazy for anyone to stick around, but she's right that her tight ass can win pretty much anyone over for an hour.
/r/seduction13/07/16 02:04 PM
2

Approach Approach again Approach once more
/r/seduction11/07/16 11:04 PM
25

Let's not. Let's go outside and practice instead.
/r/seduction11/07/16 01:38 PM
1

How does she know I am lying? Read this thread. From the minute they start growing tits, girls are bombard with sexual advances and it continues for decades. She knows damn well that there's an infinite supply of dick available to her. She sees right through your little denial. And how did I admit it was a lie? You're using the denial as a shit test, trying to get her to qualify herself to you. You wouldn't do that if you weren't interested.
/r/seduction11/07/16 01:05 PM
1

Read the sidebar and keep practicing.
/r/seduction11/07/16 05:42 AM
8

I'd probably go with some variation of Mystery's line that "beauty is common." I'd acknowledge her beauty and then challenge her by stating I'm looking for more than just a tight ass and high cheekbones. I'd strongly imply that good looks are just the beginning of the conversation and that it'll take a strong, well-rounded personality to really impress me.
/r/seduction11/07/16 05:40 AM
2

I would look her straight in the eye and say "I would never fuck you under any circumstances". She knows you're lying. best case she see's it as a challenge and plays ball, putting you in a very dominant position. See, you already admitted it was a lie.
/r/seduction11/07/16 05:34 AM
5

You just do it. You hear the fear and you feel the fear. Then you act in spite of the fear. There is no other way. Logically you've always understood this, but you're so consumed by the fear that you cling to the hope that there's a magic answer. There isn't. You don't have to start with asking hot women on dates, though. You could approach a hot woman for a perfectly non-sexual reason. Or you could approach an ugly woman. Or an old woman. Or a man. Hell, you don't even have to start with people…
/r/seduction01/07/16 01:44 PM
66

Text Game 101: Build attraction in person Text less, a lot less Ask her out sooner, a lot sooner
/r/seduction01/07/16 01:41 PM
2

Maybe pick up isn't right for you? Maybe if you're a priest. Are you a priest? So I've decided to get into some social media platforms, pick up a few more hobbies, read a few books and work on myself Awesome. It's good to add depth to your personality. before attempting pick up again. Wait. Why are you putting your dating life on hold? Surely you can read books and go on dates. Hell, there are a lot of girls that would want to read with you as a date.
/r/seduction30/06/16 07:28 PM
2

Since 6 hours have gone by and you still haven't figured it out, I'll light a candle for you. Notice how Buddha didn't respond to the philosopher. Notice how ThrowawayPUA hasn't responded to you. If you ask someone a question and they don't answer you, they must want you to _____________________.
/r/seduction30/06/16 04:56 AM
3

The point is how do you get yourself to do an exposure. You just do it. You hear the fear and you feel the fear. Then you act in spite of the fear. There is no other way. Logically you've always understood this, but you're so consumed by the fear that you cling to the hope that there's a magic answer. There isn't. You don't have to start with asking hot women on dates, though. You could approach a hot woman for a perfectly non-sexual reason. Or you could approach an ugly woman. Or an old woman. …
/r/seduction30/06/16 04:51 AM
1

The best way to deal with jerks (of any gender) is to recognize what's underneath it. At its core, it's all just an expression of social immaturity. If it goes past the point of being harmless fun, start responding with a sympathetic, "Really? This is how you were raised to behave? That's sad," mindset.
/r/seduction29/06/16 05:58 PM
19

Selection bias. They all do it, but you only notice the ones that look hideous. The countless others all seem "natural" to you.
/r/seduction27/06/16 06:55 PM
3

It's common for there to be problems early on. Nerves can really mess things up for both of you. Read the FAQs at /r/sex/ P.S. Stop describing ages with decimals. Partial years stopped mattering after elementary school.
/r/seduction26/06/16 03:11 PM
7

If she expects you to jump in immediately to push away any guy that ever talks to her, you should put a collar and leash around her neck. It'll send the "ownership" message clearly without you having to get in people's faces all the time. If she expects you to get in people's faces all the time, well... you two should grow up. If she understands that she (or you) can subtly deflect 98% of guys by casually mentioning the relationship in conversation, then you're really just talking about the pers…
/r/seduction26/06/16 03:04 PM
2

You're absolutely right. No girls like black guys anymore and the whole race is dying out because of it. Or maybe... just maybe... chicks tend to give white lies when they turn you down. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice. Your results will improve as your skills improve.
/r/seduction26/06/16 03:55 AM
0

Great. Do more cold approaches!
/r/seduction26/06/16 12:58 AM
1

I'm sure I would get a point or two higher quality on the HB scale if I focused more on live approaches, but tinder and its ilk are just so easy. All I have to do is swipe occasionally and have some rather easy conversations that I can have while taking a dump in the comfort of my own home. She's significantly attracted to me before I've even lifted a finger. It doesn't get much easier than that. Here are my tips: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4fydjm/how_to_tinder/d2d7rs6
/r/seduction26/06/16 12:57 AM
1

You haven't even moved in yet and you already think they think you're gay? Unless their roommate wanted ad specifically requested a gay male, there's literally no reason for anyone to start with that assumption. It's pure insecurity on your part. Rather than focusing on them in particular, you need to work on your underlying problems. Work to become more social both in and out of your new home. Work to become more sexual both in and out of your new home. Push yourself out of your comfort zone.
/r/seduction25/06/16 06:55 PM
1

I feel like the girls might think of me either as gay? If there's any doubt in their minds about your sexuality, it's because you hide it. Haven't you ever said or done anything that would indicate that you're attracted to women? Haven't they ever seen you flirt with someone? Haven't you ever said, "Wow, she's fuckin hot" when a hot chick comes on tv? Why not? You're not going to get anywhere with seduction if you can't be open and honest about your desires. There's nothing "creepy" about acknow…
/r/seduction25/06/16 06:20 PM
1

I think you've been watching too many Disney movies, but... to each their own.
/r/seduction25/06/16 12:15 PM
1

you're saying to go for the k-close regardless Yes. I'm not saying you should have a huge heavy-petting makeout session. Just kiss her, preferably well before the end of the first date. You want to get that Middle School milestone out of the way so that she starts thinking about the next milestone.
/r/seduction24/06/16 07:27 PM
2

It's not specific to PUA. In fact, it's a lot more common in regards to sports. You could say that Lebron James was ON during the finals.
/r/seduction24/06/16 03:17 PM
1

I think you're misinterpreting DiCarlo a bit. Regardless of whether you're trying to get a same-night-lay, you should build up the kino and then kiss her. It's only after the kiss that you should reign yourself in if it looks like you're going to be able to go all the way. All that is beside the point, though, cuz OP doesn't even know how to get to the kiss. OP, read DiCarlo, particularly the first half.
/r/seduction23/06/16 10:45 PM
1

I'll text chat if I happen to be bored. I'll call and talk to her if it's been awhile between dates and I want to spike her temperature. Otherwise, it's radio silence between dates. If they don't don't like it, they're free to leave.
/r/seduction23/06/16 06:07 PM
1

The moral of the story is that you should experiment with various options and go with what gets real results instead of what gets nice comments.
/r/seduction23/06/16 06:40 AM
1

shouldn't my career come before my dating/sex life? No, you should strive for a balance between all of the important aspects of life.
/r/seduction23/06/16 12:41 AM
2

I suppose it's something, but take it with a grain of salt. The people rating your picture are probably not the same people that you're trying to attract.
/r/seduction22/06/16 11:37 PM
1

It's perfectly acceptable to go to a bar and drink something non-alcoholic. If you'd rather not go to the bar at all, suggest a different activity. After all, she can get a beer any time she pleases. The only reason she asked you to join her is because she wants to spend time with you. Beer is just the excuse. Any other excuse will work just as well.
/r/seduction22/06/16 03:11 PM
5

Then I'll really do field time. No, by then you'll have a new excuse. You don't need travelling, bars, or clubs to get laid. There are kids getting laid in middle school. Stop inventing excuses to put your dating life on hold.
/r/seduction22/06/16 03:26 AM
4

It doesn't really matter if it's easier it not. If you don't have the skills to get laid regularly in your normal life, it's probably not going to happen on your little vacation. Focus on building your skills.
/r/seduction22/06/16 03:20 AM
10

You should spend 10 hours in the field for every hour reading, so after these two books, you should go outside for a week straight.
/r/seduction22/06/16 12:22 AM
1

#1 is complete bullshit. There's no age at which game "doesn't work". If you work to improve your skills, your results will improve. If you don't, they won't. #2 is somewhat true. A man's social skills are a huge factor in his dating life. Neglecting these skills will impair your results. Work on your social life. #3 has a grain of truth, but is mostly bullshit. High value women have high standards and you won't have much luck with them until you get good at this stuff. That much is true, but yo…
/r/seduction20/06/16 10:59 PM
39

There are plenty of outdoorsy women. You're probably not going to find them all decked out in a night club, though. If you're not happy with what you're finding, change the way you're searching.
/r/seduction20/05/16 06:04 PM
2

A "set" is a person or a group of people.
/r/seduction19/05/16 10:24 PM
5

tl;dr: Open a lot of sets and merge them
/r/seduction19/05/16 09:16 PM
2

Everybody else is giving good tips, but there's no way you're going to internalize all of that in 24 hours. If you try to remember too much, you're gonna get nervous and shit, which will totally defeat the point. So... keep it simple: Pick a date that allows for some movement (meals and movies suck). Keep it in perspective. It's just one date with one girl. Have fun. Touch her. Do a quick read-up on Kino Escalation if you don't know how. Date more. A lot more. You're only going to learn this stu…
/r/seduction19/05/16 07:02 PM
2

Yeah, stop doing that. Also, don't be afraid to just ignore the text.
/r/seduction17/05/16 10:47 PM
1

I spent like 60 My last few dates: Bar, first date: $11, she bought her own and even tried to buy mine Booty call, second date: $0 Walk in the park, first date: $1 for two coffees I made at home Netflix n chill, fifth date: $0 Activity & dinner, fourth date: $20, she brought dinner Walk in the park, first date: $0 Made dinner together, third date: ~$10, she brought wine So... $60 is a lot. Can you afford to date three women at a time at $60 per date? Probably not. At this stage of your dating ca…
/r/seduction17/05/16 10:17 PM
3

Congrats! Good job on the kino escalation during the second half of the night. For future reference, dinner dates suck in the early stages of dating; they're too restrictive and the expectation that you'll pay for everything gets expensive when you're dating regularly. Also, fancy restaurants are overkill and tryhard. Unless you have enough money to consistently pay big bucks for a meal, you should only splurge for special occasions; a third date is not a special occasion.
/r/seduction17/05/16 09:37 PM
1

There's zero content here. It's just an ad.
/r/seduction17/05/16 07:03 PM
1

It's impossible to tell for certain that any particular girl is interested, but it sounds like she is. If you want to pursue things with her, you have to start leading the interaction. You have to make opportunities to see her. Walk over to her locker and chat her up. You don't have to say or do anything in particular. Just go have a couple minutes of meaningless chit chat. The simple fact that you walked up to her for no other reason than to chat will send a clear message to her about your inte…
/r/seduction17/05/16 06:37 PM
2

Going into town to get a haircut and take pictures is a bit different. There's always going to be an excuse that you can use to rationalize inaction. Humans are really good at that sort of thing. The bottom line, however, is that if it's truly important to you, you'll find a way to make time. so all these witty openers are not very congruent with my personality. Openers are just throwaway attention-getters. Congruence is not essential.
/r/seduction17/05/16 05:24 PM
22

Good stuff. There's nothing novel here, but it's a well-written summary of good advice. I'll probably find myself linking to it regularly on /r/askseddit.
/r/seduction17/05/16 04:52 PM
4

don't really have time to fuck about building a tinder profile. But you have time to fuck about on reddit? Dating takes time. Either start doing it or stop daydreaming about it. Do you actually have to have your tinder photos on Facebook? Yes, but they don't need to be public. You can set the privacy so that only you can see them. how am I going to live up to being witty and playful when I'm a boring motherfucker lol. You stop being a boring motherfucker. If your social skills are weak, you need…
/r/seduction17/05/16 04:35 PM
2

I don't know, man... just text less. Get used to the idea that you don't have to drop what you're doing every time your phone dings. Be busier in general. If you're out doing fun things, you'll have less desire to stare at your phone. When you do text, say less. If you can't fit it into 2 sentences, it probably isn't appropriate for texting. Give a mini response and then use it as conversation fodder on the next date. Say things like "Remind me to tell you my _____ story on our next date" and th…
/r/seduction17/05/16 01:36 PM
7

I would say my biggest advantage in meeting women is being able to connect with them on a very deep level. No, that's your biggest advantage in making friends. That stuff falls in the "comfort" category. It's important in long run, but if you start with comfort, you're going to end up with a friend, not a lover. Ya gotta learn how to build attraction before any of that comfort stuff matters. You've noticed how clubs and singles bars tend to be loud, right? Did you ever stop to think that it's no…
/r/seduction15/05/16 06:01 PM
4

We don't know anything about your market or your campus. Why don't you just go and find out? Don't leave without at least saying a few words to at least one girl.
/r/seduction13/05/16 04:47 PM
14

Neediness is mostly about how you respond when things aren't working out. You can state whatever desires you want as long as you're willing to move on with your life if the answer is "no".
/r/seduction13/05/16 02:06 PM
2

He meant, "As a small foreword, I have been working recently..." A "foreword" is a little bit of background info before the main story begins.
/r/seduction13/05/16 01:16 PM
2

"Cat ear fetish" was probably fun for a minute, but you probably should have segued sooner If a coffee date is out of place, the appropriate date would have been what... a blind hookup? A lot of girls would be alienated by that line. Who cares? Plenty more where she came from. Keep swiping and make sure to approach girls IRL too.
/r/seduction13/05/16 03:49 AM
8

That was my point. I have fewer than 10,000 and I do fine. A town has to be really small before gaming really becomes a problem. OP doesn't need to move to NYC.
/r/seduction13/05/16 02:18 AM
1

I wasn't saying that you should lie or bullshit people. I'm just saying you should steer the conversation. Just because someone asks about your job doesn't mean you have to spend the next ten minutes talking about your job. Give some kind of answer and then steer the conversation towards something more interesting.
/r/seduction12/05/16 11:56 PM
46

Apparently that's the popular answer here, but it's woefully inadequate. We don't even know how small the town is! Just today I had to listen to a guy claiming he couldn't game because there were only 60,000 people in his town. That's a bullshit limiting belief and it's entirely possible that OP's "small town" is equally exaggerated. Maybe you're right that it's in his best interest over the long run to move somewhere bigger, but if he has zero game, there's shitload of things he can do to impro…
/r/seduction12/05/16 10:52 PM
1

It means she likes to do things that other people might shy away from. That could mean anything from random hookups to backpacking across Asia to signing up for samba lessons on a whim.
/r/seduction12/05/16 07:15 PM
4

Flirting is fun. That's all the reason anybody needs. Why are you concerned?
/r/seduction12/05/16 07:09 PM
10

This isn't a comic book; you don't need a superpower to be somebody. The world is almost entirely made up of ordinary people dating ordinary people. The individual components of who you are and what you do are all almost certainly very common things, but it's the combination of those things that make you rather unique and interesting.
/r/seduction12/05/16 06:46 PM
3

I just feel like there isnt a common ground When you meet someone in person, you automatically have something in common: you're both in the same place, seeing and doing the same things. There are a million possible tangents from there plus ten million more possible tangents based on the fact that you're both human beings.
/r/seduction12/05/16 06:09 PM
108

I'm a 23 year old hugless, kissless, dateless virgin Step 1 is to stop slapping such negative labels on yourself. You're a man who wants to improve his social life. What can I do to make relationships not only with women but just make friends too? Be social. Look for, create, and accept any and all opportunities to meet people. Work on your conversation skills. Work on remembering names. Keep in touch with people and invite them to do things with you.
/r/seduction12/05/16 05:38 PM
37

As a small forward It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize you weren't talking about basketball.
/r/seduction12/05/16 05:13 PM
3

First of all, the "mysterious" thing is bullshit. If you avoid reasonable questions, it sounds like you're ashamed of the answers or are living some kind of nefarious double life. It's not good. But you're right that you want to avoid boring conversations. You do this by directing the conversation in more interesting directions! Watch politicians answering questions. They very rarely answer directly. They usually give a short, vague response that kinda sounds like an answer to the question and t…
/r/seduction12/05/16 02:18 PM
1

Just keep practicing. Eye contact, kino, and playfulness are important. P.S. That number you got... ask her out!
/r/seduction12/05/16 02:08 PM
3

Step 1: Live in a manner befitting your principles and priorities Step 2: Whenever that critical voice in your head starts giving you shit, remind it that you're doing Step 1, which is all anyone can ask of themselves.
/r/seduction11/05/16 01:58 PM
4

Practice. Your insecurities weren't built in a day; they won't be dismantled in a day either. You have to make a point to battle that judgmental voice in your head every day. The more you do that, the weaker it'll get. So get out there and yell to the waitress across the entire restaurant. "Miss! Can I have some more coffee, please?" Everybody is a dick occasionally, so it's don't sweat it. You've spent your whole life censoring yourself to the point that it's crippled you. It's ok to over-corre…
/r/seduction11/05/16 12:55 PM
6

Self-esteem based on external results is hollow. It disappears whenever you hit a bump in the road. What you need to do is start accepting and appreciating yourself. That reclusive guy addled by fear and addictions? That's not you anymore. Congratulations! Any time your memories from that time bubble up, remind yourself that that was a former life and bask in the warmth of all the skills you've built since then. Those memories are a badge of honor. Wear it with pride!
/r/seduction11/05/16 12:53 PM
14

In the era of cell phones, don't ever twiddle your thumbs for an hour like that. If she's not there at the appointed time, you send her a text saying that you arrived and mention where you're sitting or whatever. You're not mad at this point. If she doesn't arrive or respond in five minutes, you still shouldn't be mad, but it's time to start thinking about your backup plan. If she doesn't arrive or respond in fifteen minutes, she ain't comin; it's time to move on. You could probably reduce these…
/r/seduction11/05/16 04:55 AM
2

Funny thing is I think I'm probably losing them because I don't. I especially have issues with going for a kiss in public, which is something I'll probably need to get used to being in NYC. Yes and yes. Escalate kino from the get-go. As the tension builds, increase eye contact and pretend you're the only two in existence.
/r/seduction11/05/16 02:30 AM
1

I'll send them a text the next day saying I had fun, playfully referencing something about our date, and saying we should do it again sometime. They almost always respond in a positive way. Unless you literally shit on her face, she's not going to say, "I had a horrible time. Go away." So... they're not really enjoying their dates with you, but they recognize that you're a decent guy, so they're trying to let you down softly. Give me some details about one of the dates that you thought went well…
/r/seduction10/05/16 11:35 PM
3

They were all really bad matches, but I was so socially inept that I had no clue what a good match felt like. I was also so desperate that I clung to them even when as it became obvious that I wasn't happy.
/r/seduction10/05/16 09:58 PM
1

I couldn't disagree more. Rookies have generally spent their entire lives keeping their hands to themselves. They have no clue what touches are appropriate in which situations and they're not going to just wake up with this knowledge one day. They need a roadmap. The concept of kino (and the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder in particular) provide that guidance.
/r/seduction10/05/16 09:54 PM
3

I think I'm dealing with a huge scarcity mindset 12 women in 5 weeks? You're off to a great start. Just keep at it and your mindset will improve as the novelty wears off. it's been almost a day since I asked the girl I slept with if she wants to get together again on Saturday and no response. Silence = "no". Don't dwell on it. Just keep running your game. I think I'm having a ton of trouble initiating kino due to inexperience. That's an almost universal problem in a forum like this. You just hav…
/r/seduction10/05/16 06:40 PM
7

I spent several years in a horrible relationship that never should have went past the first date. When I finally realized how miserable my life had become, I looked back and realized that it was just the latest and most extreme in a long string of bad relationships that were based on my desperation and lack of skills. Fortunately, I survived the rock bottom and embarked on a steadily improving path that I could be happy with. tl;dr: It was the worst of times, it was the best of times.
/r/seduction10/05/16 04:27 PM
1

Read the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder if you haven't already. Also, don't worry about being smooth. Sex is often clumsy, especially if inexperienced or if you're just not familiar with your partner's habits and preferences. Just laugh off any clumsiness and keep going.
/r/seduction10/05/16 03:46 PM
3

do you think she would actually fuck? Everybody fucks. The only question is whether or not she wants to fuck you. Some will and some won't. The only way to find out is to try. Pessimists don't get laid.
/r/seduction10/05/16 03:44 PM
5

It's a calibration thing. If you want to keep things purely sexual and you can tell she's no stranger to that sort of thing, you can literally just tell her that you want to fuck the hell out of her. If you're going with a casual dating vibe, tone it down slightly and mention something about her personality. "We seem to get along pretty well and you have a great ass." If you'd actually consider her as a girlfriend, use a polite physical compliment and demonstrate that you've been paying attentio…
/r/seduction10/05/16 03:12 PM
1

I'm saying that there absolutely is a binary difference between people who are in the game and people who are not. And that's defined by PIV sex? Someone who is only having anal isn't "in the game"? Oral? A guy with a handful of titty or his tongue down somebody's throat isn't in the game? You would call that just some "silliness amongst friends" or something? What about the third grader that's chasing girls on the playground is actively pursuing the basics of seduction (approach, tease, and kin…
/r/seduction10/05/16 01:39 PM
1

They already met in person. Presumably, he established a base of value at that time. If she's not already interested in spending time with him, he should just Next her instead of trying to game and bribe her via text.
/r/seduction10/05/16 01:16 PM
2

You rode the "stunning" bit a little too hard. It kinda sounded like you were fishing for a compliment, which shows insecurity and takes away from the playfulness. I like using the occasional emoji, but you shouldn't be winking after every little quip. Explaining a joke (or even just explaining that something is a joke) ruins the joke. Just assume that she's on the same page most of the time. If her sense of humor is so different from yours that she can't tell that you're being playful, the whol…
/r/seduction10/05/16 01:06 PM
1

I'm talking about the overly-sensitive, "we're all winners!", everybody-gets-a-trophy coddling that goes on today. Can you point to even a single example of me doing that? My message is simple: You can't change the past, so there's no point in worrying about where you're starting from or how that compares to anybody else's starting point. There are no substitutes for action and experience If you're making progress towards becoming the person you want to be, you should be proud of yourself and sl…
/r/seduction09/05/16 08:39 PM
1

Some people may need their hands held inch by inch The holding hands part is optional, but the "inch by inch" is not. Nothing you say or do is going to turn an AFC into a seducer overnight. It's a long, hard progression of skills and experience that is measured in months (and often years). There's no reason a guy should spend that entire time being told he's inadequate. That's like having a personal trainer motivate you by barking "Run, fatty! Run!" It's a coaching technique that causes at least…
/r/seduction09/05/16 08:16 PM
9

Are the principles one applies in dating/seduction still applicable The principles are applicable everywhere, all the time. The only thing that ever really changes is the pace of the seduction. In some environments, things happen quickly. In others, you have to move like a glacier to get anywhere at all. Approach -> flirt -> escalate kino -> isolate -> sex
/r/seduction09/05/16 08:04 PM
3

it's all different ways of getting across the goal line. No, they're different goal lines. But whatever... we've both said enough on the topic. I still stand by my initial point though, which is that having sex with nobody is not success. Then I hope you stop giving advice to newbies, cuz that mindset is the exact opposite of helpful when it comes to the mass of rookies that are already paralyzed by feelings of inadequacy.
/r/seduction09/05/16 07:58 PM
1

You could start by not arguing with her. Learn how to politely disagree.
/r/seduction09/05/16 07:15 PM
5

but let's be honest... that's not what's on any of our minds when we interact with women. Again, even if you're just strictly looking for sex*, there's still no singular definition of "success". Every touchdown is worth six points, but are you seriously telling me that there's no difference between fucking a fattie or a tight-as-can-be cheerleader? A 20 year old? 30 y/o? 40 y/o? 50 y/o? A girl who lays there like a dead fish? A screamer who likes all of the same kinks as you? Everyone has their …
/r/seduction09/05/16 07:05 PM
8

By my measure, success is always a flat zero before the first one. I usually agree with you, but come on... We're not talking about a game like football that has one clearly defined goal. It's pretty clear that the definition of "success with women" usually changes throughout your life. Even if sex is the only thing you want out of women, your definition of what constitutes a "quality" sex partner is going to change dramatically over time.
/r/seduction09/05/16 06:20 PM
21

My success with girls went up when I improved my dating skills. Being a late virgin was my absolute biggest insecurity, and finally losing it took a huge weight off my shoulders and helped my confidence immensely. Ok, but it's important to realize that it was the insecurity that was holding you back; not the absence of vaginal fluid on your cock. You would have seen an equal jump in success if you had worked on your insecurity instead of having sex.
/r/seduction09/05/16 06:15 PM
14

I know a lot of you will say kino, but the thing is, we've been friends for quite a while and I don't want things to be weird if my feelings aren't reciprocated. Tough cookies, partner. She's not going to sit down with you and have a logical discussion about the merits of fucking you. The only way you're gonna get your penis inside her is if you start touching her in ways that are more than just friendly. In other words, you have to escalate kino. The whole "I don't want to risk my friendship" t…
/r/seduction05/05/16 04:07 PM
1

Read the sidebar. Then go out and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction04/05/16 08:56 PM
3

You seem to be operating on the premise that women aren't interested in problem solving. That's simply not true. Some people (male or female) are better at solving their problems than others, but everybody does it to some degree. They're not retarded; they can and do solve their problems. They just don't necessarily want your opinion about their problems. That's perfectly reasonable thing. After all, it's generally considered a little rude to offer unsolicited advice. Keeping your opinions on so…
/r/seduction04/05/16 05:17 PM
7

Her clock is running down, but that doesn't mean she's likely to do something underhanded. If she wanted a baby that bad, she would have gotten one already. That kind of crazy tends to happen in the late 20s. Anyways, don't let these kinds of generalities stop you from dating someone you're attracted to, OP. Just take the reasonable precautions like you would with anyone else.
/r/seduction04/05/16 04:52 PM
1

You don't have to use the word "date" or do cliche date things. As long as you escalate kino, she knows what's happening.
/r/seduction30/04/16 01:16 PM
2

Yes, kissing on the first date is ok. In fact, it's recommended. Don't wait until the end of the date. It's cliche and awkward. Make sure you escalate kino throughout the date!
/r/seduction29/04/16 08:37 PM
2

She writes back " you wanna text me huh?" "Yes" I'm not gonna write back and fourth on an app lmao. Don't write back and forth on text either. Set up the date.
/r/seduction29/04/16 08:32 PM
1

It doesn't matter whether you say "date". As long as you escalate kino, she'll know what's up. Make sure you escalate kino!
/r/seduction27/04/16 11:07 AM
2

Well done
/r/seduction25/04/16 08:09 PM
1

The good thing about truth is that it stays true even if you don't believe it. It'll sink in more and more as you progress. For now, just accept them as axioms so we have something to build on.
/r/seduction25/04/16 05:27 PM
3

If you have a lot of mutual friends, you should ask one of them to organize some sort of activity that you're both invited to. Meet her in person and go from there. Also, go out into the sunlight and meet more women. If you keep putting all of your eggs in one basket, you're going to have a lot of long, lonely periods. There are a ton of women out there. Meet them.
/r/seduction25/04/16 03:48 PM
1

Before we go any further, you need to digest the following article. I've already heard you say many of the fallacies in this list. In order to make progress, you need to stop doing that. Pay attention, cuz I'm going to point you back to this list every time I hear you make one these mistakes. The Chains That Bind When it came to meeting women, my biggest enemy was me. I used to look at myself-five foot six, scrawny, bald, and big nosed-and think there was no way I could compete will all the tall…
/r/seduction25/04/16 02:13 PM
1

[friends] only care about me on a very superficial level If you had friends that cared about you deeply, what would that look like to you? "but gets people to open up to me." ... "I prefer silence, I don't enjoy conversations very much" Do you see the conflict here? Silence begets silence. Think about a novel for a second. Any author is going to give you at least a basic introduction to any new character. At the very least, you're gonna get a physical description and maybe a bit about his manner…
/r/seduction25/04/16 01:00 PM
2

I think the banter was fine except that you probably carried it on way too long. Playful is good; just make sure you leave her wanting more. Make a joke or two and then go back to being plainspoken. Sprinkle that shit into the conversation rather than using the persona of a jester the whole time. P.S. I don't know how long that conversation went on for, but you almost certainly should have suggested a date much sooner.
/r/seduction25/04/16 12:15 PM
1

Ok. Do the following: Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you. Write one or two sentences describing how you'd like to be perceived by others. List three of your behaviors or characteristics you would like to change. List three new behaviors or characteristics you would like to adopt.
/r/seduction25/04/16 12:05 PM
1

Well, unlike in the gym, my efforts regarding the little social life that I have and can maintain were almost always in vain. Yeah, nobody is a "natural" at everything. Sometimes it pays to have a trainer. so how do I best go about approaches? Honestly, I've already given you a massive amount of my time and I'm still not even sure you're taking this seriously. I could write a million more words and it still won't make a lick of difference unless you commit yourself to a sustained effort. Are you…
/r/seduction24/04/16 10:03 PM
1

You need to approach. Over and over and over again. You go to the gym regularly, right? You do that because you understand that repetition is the key to physical development. The same is true with your social life.
/r/seduction24/04/16 09:27 PM
1

Well, let me know if you ever decide to take action.
/r/seduction24/04/16 09:18 PM
1

I was really interested in the ~5 girls I liked That's not a large sample size. You broke it off with some. Some broke it off with you. There might be something wrong with your behavior, but it might just be a run of bad luck.
/r/seduction24/04/16 08:39 PM
1

First of all, thank you that you took the time to answer all that. I know I probably wouldn't be that patient with such a hopeless case. You're no more hopeless than I used to be. You just have to decide to start taking action. More like guys approaching me and I have to stand there, listen to them and figure out what they want and it is mostly selling or promoting something or even pressuring me into donating. Right, they're all selling something that you don't want and they usually don't accep…
/r/seduction24/04/16 08:37 PM
1

The only way you overcome a fear is to do the thing in spite of the fear. Do it enough times the fear will mostly disappear. Until then, you just have to summon your courage and push past the fear.
/r/seduction24/04/16 07:56 PM
2

I really just want a relationship. With who? Any warm body that will have you? You can see the problem with that attitude, can't you? These women can probably tell that you're not really interested in them in particular.
/r/seduction24/04/16 07:52 PM
1

So you would say to just approach them? Yes. Im not really convinced that that will lead to anything Most of the time it won't. That's doubly true in the beginning, since you're gonna suck at it for awhile. But it's like fishing. Throwing a lure in the water usually won't get you a fish, but it lifts your chances above zero. You'll starve to death if you wait for one to jump in the boat. especially since I don't like getting approached You would be upset if an attractive woman approached you? I …
/r/seduction24/04/16 07:36 PM
1

That is exactly what I mean, she isn't naive, so she knows that I only talked to her because she is beautiful. She knows that I wouldn't have done that if she was ugly and she knows that I wouldn't care about anything that I said about her if she was ugly. Right. So? Everything starts somewhere. Ultimately, you're going to choose the people you date based on a slew of criteria, but people don't walk around with a comprehensive D&D character description stapled to their chests. You just start wit…
/r/seduction24/04/16 07:04 PM
31

I'm not gonna both watching, but it's a joke, right? Hopefully nobody is taking this seriously. You don't have a phobia. No psychologist in the world would actually diagnose it as such. You have insecurities and anxiety. Work on them.
/r/seduction24/04/16 04:44 PM
1

And that should just make it acceptable for anyone to get in their personal space and interrupt everything they do with some ulterior motive. Personal space: No, keep a normal distance until you see signs that she's interested interrupt everything: Definitely not. There are lots of things you shouldn't interrupt. There are also a lot of times where it's perfectly welcome. ulterior motive: What ulterior motive? You're both interested in dating and you both know that's why the conversation is happ…
/r/seduction24/04/16 04:37 PM
1

Women enjoy dating Women are generally willing (and often eager) to date outside their social circle You can't date outside your social circle without first talking to someone outside your social circle It is very rare for a woman to initiate such conversations Ergo, they want guys outside their social circle to initiate conversations with them.
/r/seduction24/04/16 01:37 PM
1

More than that would become pretty intrusive or creepy. Why?
/r/seduction24/04/16 12:35 PM
1

who has trouble with a lot of things Do you want to resolve any of those troubles? Should I just forget about the gym/fitness and give up You have more than half your life ahead of you. I wouldn't give up on anything at this stage. If you want to improve your fitness, go improve your fitness. If you don't care about it, don't worry about it.
/r/seduction24/04/16 12:22 PM
1

Great. You made a cold approach, nobody got harmed, and it didn't interfere with any aspect of your life. What does tomorrow's schedule look like?
/r/seduction24/04/16 01:40 AM
1

How'd it go?
/r/seduction23/04/16 08:43 PM
1

Perfect. Go to the gym now. On your way to the transit station stop a girl in the street with your best manners. Pretend you don't know where the station is and ask her to point you in the right direction. Thank her and continue on with your evening. Report back to me afterwards.
/r/seduction23/04/16 05:12 PM
1

Ok, so what's your schedule like today?
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:58 PM
1

That sounds like a "no". If you want to grow as a person, you have to allocate some amount of time to it. Reducing the amount of time you spend on reddit would probably be a good way to free up some time for a social life.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:55 PM
1

Would you like to learn?
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:48 PM
1

I think that a) you probably have more opportunities than you think and b) you should make an active effort to create additional opportunities.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:43 PM
1

Then it sounds like you'll have to approach some.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:40 PM
1

Kinesthetics. Physical contact. You can't have sex with a girl without touching her and it's very rare to go from zero contact to having intimate contact. It general follows a pattern of escalations and you, as the male, are expected to initiate them.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:33 PM
1

I was starting from scratch. Posture, eye contact, general conversational skills, kino escalation. I sucked at all of it. What are your weaknesses?
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:18 PM
1

When I realized that my dating life was a giant pile of garbage, I took steps to improve it.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:13 PM
1

Have fun with that. Holler if you change your mind.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:09 PM
1

If your goal is to forget about your biological instincts, then I don't think you'll find any good advice anywhere.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:04 PM
1

If your goal is to forget about your biological instincts, then I don't think you'll find any good advice anywhere.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:04 PM
1

Then I recommend you unsubscribe from seduction forums and get some cats.
/r/seduction23/04/16 04:01 PM
1

Ok. What's your goal?
/r/seduction23/04/16 02:35 PM
1

I didnt say "cold". How many approaches do you do in a typical week? Online, offline, hot, warm, chilly, whatever.
/r/seduction23/04/16 02:25 PM
1

How many women do you approach in a typical week?
/r/seduction23/04/16 02:20 PM
1

You're right. Improvement will take a millennium at that pace. Why so rarely?
/r/seduction23/04/16 02:14 PM
1

He has poor dating skills and low self esteem, so yeah, he's not exactly the world's greatest catch at the moment. However, he can and should change both of those qualities and his results will improve accordingly.
/r/seduction23/04/16 02:09 PM
2

I assumed her lack of response was due to her preoccupation with last minute study. Yeah, that was a bad assumption. Girls send 200+ texts per day. No matter how busy they are studying or saving the world or whatever, they still find time to respond to the people they care about. Any time you see a pattern of unresponsiveness, take that as a giant flashing neon sign that she's not interested. Please. This one rule of thumb will save you from having to deal with restraining orders throughout your…
/r/seduction23/04/16 01:26 PM
1

That doesn't sound like what he was saying, so let's not put words in his mouth. Do you want to talk about your situation?
/r/seduction23/04/16 01:22 PM
1

example: "hey, i really like your style" so the seque is what? where'd you buy your clothes? or you say "yeah, those boots are really nice" and then she starts talking about where she got them or just says "oh thank you" again? You can go anywhere you want from there. As always, many of your options will depend on how she responds. She might mention where she got the the, who gave it to her, what she likes about it, etc. All of those responses open up huge tangents to explore. But even if she do…
/r/seduction23/04/16 01:19 PM
1

When you introduce yourself coming from a place of presence and seeing her, not as someone else, but as part of who you are (which is true at a quantom level). You've been drinking too much too much of your own koolaid. If you're going to spout pseudoscience, you should at least spell quantum right. You'll see clear contrasts of a hi coming from a place of confdience and one coming from a place of uncertainty. I'm sure everyone here agrees that things like posture and tone of voice are incredibl…
/r/seduction23/04/16 03:11 AM
1

What practicing with this opener does it that it strips you of all your crutches and forces you to depend on yourself... solely. Unless she has a particularly interesting name or accent, the introduction has no natural segues. It doesn't reveal any conversational threads. That means that you're right back at square one, needing to invent a topic out of thin area. If you're good, that's not a problem for and you can continue on without missing a beat. But if you have that ability, there's no poin…
/r/seduction23/04/16 02:54 AM
1

In public, I would have no reason to talk to someone other than that I like how they look. You clearly didn't read the third paragraph of my last post. Are you introducing yourself to the ugly girls in class? I doubt it. You can hide behind the class structure all you want, but you're still approaching primarily based on looks. She knows it and she's gonna pretty much do the same thing right back at you. That's just how first impressions work.
/r/seduction22/04/16 10:46 PM
1

Through a hobby or university classes maybe Unless you're going to wait around for the professor to pair you up and introduce you to someone, it's still a cold approach. At some point you have to look at a stranger and say, "Hi, I'm Raey42." That's a cold approach. It's definitely easier to do this when you know you have something in common with the stranger, though. That's what you're getting at, right? The good news is that there's always something you have in common. Maybe you notice somethin…
/r/seduction22/04/16 10:23 PM
1

I have no intention to do cold approaches How do you intend to meet new people?
/r/seduction22/04/16 09:48 PM
1

they didn't make strangers approach me. You're a guy, right? Women aren't going to approach you. Ya gotta give up that dream today. It doesn't matter what you think of feminism, equality, and all that cuz the status quo in the vast majority of the world is that the man has to initiate during most of the important stages of dating. You have a lot of the basics already covered, so it seems like you need to focus on your leadership skills.
/r/seduction22/04/16 08:03 PM
2

But I'm too far deep into depression and mental disorders Then get the help that you need.
/r/seduction22/04/16 05:36 PM
1

My life is kind of fucked up, I'm 27, I live with my mom, and my car is a peice of shit, so I sorta feel inconfident in letting a girl get to know me. The weed definitely isn't helping your life, but this isn't laziness; it's insecurity. The "laziness" is just some bullshit you tell yourself to cover for your fears. I know I should force myself to talk to people and practice my game So.. what do you want from us? You know what you need to do. You just need to start doing it. I really don't care …
/r/seduction22/04/16 05:35 PM
2

It doesn't matter what time of day we're talking about. When you're awake and not working, go outside and be social. Approach people. Gain experience.
/r/seduction22/04/16 05:29 PM
2

So you've got this big thing coming up that involves some girl you've been crushing on? It's your big opportunity to make things happen? Go ahead and make some moves. Have fun and give it your best shot. But realize that this "opportunity" really doesn't mean squat in the grand scheme of things. Even if it goes fantastically well, statistically speaking you're probably not going to marry this girl, so it's only a matter of time before you're back at square one with a slow dating life, waiting de…
/r/seduction22/04/16 05:24 PM
2

first elaborate very nicely and clearly what a flirting is? Flirting is using a combination of the following to indicate sexual interest: heavy eye contact, body language, touch, teasing, and innuendo. then tell me how to do it. That's something that you could write a whole series of books about. There's a massive amount of nuance to it. Just work on your social skills in general and gradually try to introduce elements of flirting as you go. You pretty much have to learn through experience.
/r/seduction22/04/16 05:21 PM
13

First of all, it's not just a forum for instant hookups anymore. Think of it like a bar. Some people are looking for Mr. Right. Some people are looking for Mr. Good Enough For Awhile. Some are looking for Mr. Good Enough For Twenty Minutes. Others are just there to people watch. But also, "I'm not here to date" is a common soft rejection. She might just mean she doesn't want to date you. Maybe she saw something in your conversation that made her change her mind about you. That shit happens. Keep…
/r/seduction22/04/16 05:14 PM
7

I take it "perseverance" isn't your middle name? It can take awhile to get the hang of this stuff.
/r/seduction22/04/16 04:51 PM
12

He's getting downvoted because he's blatantly wrong. Pics are hugely important on tinder, but it's still more than "be attractive. don't be unattractive. har har har." This tripe is particularly unhelpful because OP is getting matches and having conversations, so clearly he's attractive enough to get his foot in the door. He doesn't need platitudes; he needs help with his execution. For best results on tinder, you need the following: Good physical appearance. Not necessarily great, but hopefully…
/r/seduction22/04/16 04:23 PM
3

send her a text two days explicitly telling her that if she is not interested in seeing me, she should respond to this text and say so and I will fuck off forever Never, never, never say things like this. If you find yourself thinking such things it's because you already know the answer. Don't beg her to say it out loud. Just back off.
/r/seduction22/04/16 03:20 PM
24

Firstly, when I get a match on tinder how do I open the conversation in a way that leads to a hook up? That question reminds me of this old joke about how to draw an owl. There are about a thousand steps between opening the conversation and hooking up, yet you talk about them as if there's a direct connection. Any opener can lead to a hookup. Any opener can bomb. They're all gonna fall somewhere between a 1% and 99% success rate. But to give you a couple breadcrumbs, keep it simple. Bonus points…
/r/seduction22/04/16 02:45 PM
2

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation? People who are "natural" charmers never even think to come to a seduction forum. So... yes, everybody here has faced the same problem. Some have put in the work to solve the problems. Others just daydream about it. How do I get over the fact that this one aspect of life is impossible for me to get? If you're resigning yourself to a life of perpetual loneliness, get some cats and maybe a dog or two. If you're not ready to give up, however, I suggest you …
/r/seduction22/04/16 02:12 PM
5

Small talk is hard! Salesmen get paid very well because they have the important ability to make small talk with a complete stranger. It's even harder in a loud, sexually-charged disco. Small talk is not the first step. Before you worry about small talk, you need to be able to make and hold eye contact with a stranger. Can you do that or do you look away as soon as someone looks back? Work on that. The next step is to smile whenever you make eye contact. Then practice saying "hi" as you walk past…
/r/seduction22/04/16 12:34 PM
2

Yup. Keep at it.
/r/seduction22/04/16 12:20 PM
2

When you're just getting started, it's not worth worrying about such theories. It's far more important to have a fun time with lots of kino escalation.
/r/seduction22/04/16 12:19 PM
2

so i had my first date since like 2 years yesterday with a really cute Girl. Attaboy! I realized on my way home that i talked for like 80% or maybe 70% of the time, which is Kind of the opposite of what would have been better, i guess? Eh, 50/50 is best. 60/40 is probably typical. 90/10 is bad. Don't worry about it, though. This is something that will improve with practice. I also didn't Kino besides the hug :/ You hugged her! Awesome. That's a good start. Next time you're with a girl, touch her…
/r/seduction22/04/16 12:17 PM
1

Honestly most dates i can think of seem mediocre to even her day job What does that even mean? She's not going on the date because she wants to go bowling or eat at such and such restaurant or see that one show. She can do those things on her own or with her friends. She doesn't need you to for that. She's going out with you because she wants to spend time with you. The date activity is just an excuse to do that. It doesn't have to be anything special. In fact, the first few dates should be deci…
/r/seduction22/04/16 12:10 PM
5

Best time to ask a girl out: as soon as you notice her. Second best time to ask her out: now. Stop delaying.
/r/seduction22/04/16 12:06 PM
1

I'm literally just looking for someone to tell me how to pick and swing that bat There are a lot of scripted "routines" floating around the community. They're designed to break the ice. Feel free to use them if that's what it takes to get you to start approaching. The problem with that is that unless you have some acting experience, you're probably not going to deliver the scripted lines convincingly. You're still going to bomb a lot when you start out and the girls are less likely to be sympath…
/r/seduction22/04/16 11:14 AM
1

There's always a window, but you didn't react to it fast enough. You watched it close instead of saying, "Hi." But since I really and rarely do, I'm lost on what to say, so I'd like some examples Well, you need to change that. You can't sit on the sidelines all week and then expect to hit a home run on the rare occasion that you pick up a bat. Read the sidebar and then practice, practice, practice. "Opinion openers" and "direct openers" are the most popular, but the truth is that the opener does…
/r/seduction22/04/16 04:43 AM
8

It's important to realize why you feel that way: she has something you want and you're trying to get it from her. Making things worse, you're probably only dating sporadically, so every time you have date, you see it as an important opportunity to get that thing you've been craving. This is basic neediness. It's not good. To counteract it, you should date a lot more -- which means you need to approach a lot more -- and you need to accept that she wants the date to be a success too. It's a team e…
/r/seduction22/04/16 12:15 AM
1

If this were a forum for people with an eating disorder, I would definitely take a moment to point out the problem with the premise of the "one food" question. Since there are thousands of socially inept guys reading this, I thought it was worthwhile to point out that this thread -- as fun and interesting as it may be -- is not going to solve their problems. There are other, far more important skills they should be working on.
/r/seduction22/04/16 12:06 AM
0

Why? No single question is going to make a meaningful difference. If that's what you were hoping for, you need to give up the search for El Dorado and focus on the basics. If you just want to improve your conversational skills, you can find a million starters here. Remember that those are just starters, though. The quality of your conversations will depend a lot more on how well you follow threads and segue from topic to topic while delving below the surface. And as always, what you talk about i…
/r/seduction21/04/16 07:57 PM
1

A few months ago, I was in this club, making my way towards the bathroom. As I was getting close, this really hot chick comes out of the women's bathroom and walks past me on my left. On her way by, she used her left hand to grab my left wrist for literally just a few milliseconds. It was a very deft and powerful form of kino. An excellent way for her to say hi. But I never got a good look at her. I had noted her presence, but that was really just the collision-avoidance part of my brain. I didn…
/r/seduction21/04/16 03:09 PM
8

Phrase it in terms of being sympathetic and understanding. You're saying "never mind" to Friday because you don't want her to push herself by going on a date she's not feeling good enough for. "Let's not try to force it. Rest up. We'll get together next week instead."
/r/seduction21/04/16 02:39 PM
1

But in my experience when I try some trick I heard here, like complimenting something specific, being touchy and suggestive, comes out as acting. They're not "tricks". They're basic things that humans do. Look around you. People do these things all the time and most of them are being 100% genuine. The only reason you don't do them is because you weren't raised with those habits in place. Like any habit, it'll feel weird for awhile until you develop the new habit. Push past those feelings. Add th…
/r/seduction20/04/16 08:10 PM
6

if it's simple "you look pretty", everyone craves for compliments. Ugh, you're better off talking about the weather. Pretty women hear that they're pretty all the time. Even ugly girls were called "pretty" a million times growing up. If you were someone close to her... some whose opinion she valued, that would be one thing. But early in the process, you're just another random guy she barely knows. She doesn't give a shit what you think about her genetics. Just the opposite, actually. Such compli…
/r/seduction20/04/16 07:31 PM
6

I'm really in no rush to meet them yet, or start going on dates because I haven't really had much success flirting, or getting that right connection yet. It's a million times easier to create a connection in person. Eye contact, kino, and shared experiences have been the basis for human connection since before humans became humans. Exchanging written comments... not so much. Create the connection in person.
/r/seduction20/04/16 07:05 PM
6

Cringey innuendos are fine as long as you drop them in a playful way. If you act like you're soooo clever, she's gonna roll her eyes at you. If, on the other hand, you say it in a way that acknowledges the joke's lameness, it's just a bit of silly fun.
/r/seduction20/04/16 07:02 PM
2

Within an established relationship, you can have whatever power dynamic works for you two. When it comes to meeting women, however, you're gonna be a lonely guy if you wait around for a woman who will take the lead from the get-go. There aren't many of them.
/r/seduction19/04/16 01:49 PM
2

Like many things in seduction, it's best done non-verbally. Increase eye contact, stand/sit closer to her, and escalate kino. She'll recognize that your interest is more than just friendly. If she's open to that, she'll respond in kind. If she's not, she'll pull back and say things to indicate her lack of interest.
/r/seduction15/04/16 07:39 PM
2

Don't hang all over her all night. Dance. Approach other women.
/r/seduction15/04/16 02:20 PM
1

This is a matter of calibration. There's nothing inherently wrong with discussing sexual matters either seriously or in jest. It's just a rather personal matter, so you have to be careful about how and when you go there.
/r/seduction15/04/16 01:52 PM
1

In regards to promiscuity, that's a very common thing. They're taught from a very young age that respectable girls don't sleep around. It's nowhere near as bad as it was 60 years ago, but it's still very really. Around here, it's referred to as "anti-slut defense" or ASD. If you have a reputation for discretion, that certainly helps her avoid the outside criticism, but some of her criticism is in her own head. You may have to help things happen in a way that allows her to rationalize the whole t…
/r/seduction14/04/16 01:20 AM
20

Don't talk about it. Her rational mind is clearly saying that she needs to deny sex to avoid being labelled a "slut". If he wants this to get anywhere, he needs to discuss it emotionally, which happens through kino, not words.
/r/seduction13/04/16 06:54 PM
12

There really isn't enough to make that conclusion. When she says, "I don't Netflix and Chill", that's just her saying she doesn't want to be considered a slut. That doesn't mean she doesn't have sex at all. It's entirely possible she's even down for some casual sex. She's just saying that the movie isn't a pretext for sex like it sometimes is. She genuinely wanted to watch the movie with him. She might have been ok with having sex in addition, but she didn't want him to just assume he was in. He…
/r/seduction13/04/16 06:51 PM
4

1 You’re always thinking of the next approach: Well, stop doing that. Stay in the moment. 2 All approaches are “cold” Yeah, but that's ok. 3 Negative social proof: Only when you're completely striking out. It's just as likely that a few early successes propel you to massive social proof and you can always change venues if things get really bad. 4 Exhaustion Again, this is only a factor if you're striking out. If you're making connections, it's energizing and memorable.
/r/seduction07/04/16 02:38 PM
0

Stop trying to be funny all the time. Nobody gets wet thinking about the funny guy. Nobody lands 100% of their jokes. When one misses, just push right past it. Don't try to explain it or justify yourself. Just wave it off and carry on with the conversation.
/r/seduction05/04/16 02:52 PM
2

Read The Five Love Languages. Your attempts at romance are probably not being perceived as romantic. The book will help you get better at understanding your partners.
/r/seduction05/04/16 02:28 PM
7

It's just a date. Ask her out whenever you want. It doesn't matter who's around.
/r/seduction05/04/16 12:36 AM
1

Bars are ok. You have freedom of movement, background music, maybe dancing. You can call an audible every 15 minutes if you need to change things up. You can alternate buying rounds instead of awkwardly splitting the check.
/r/seduction01/04/16 03:54 PM
1

You're stuck in a single spot, sitting across from her for at least 45 minutes. It's somewhat confrontational with a lot of forced eye contact because there's nowhere else to look. There are no real kino opportunities. It's impossible to improvise if the conversation gets off to a slow start. You just sit there and wallow in the awkwardness. Plus there's the expectation that you have to buy dinner (and maybe drinks and dessert) for someone you just met. If you're dating regularly, it adds up qui…
/r/seduction01/04/16 02:03 PM
1

Awesome. Congrats on approaching! Keep doing. As you get more comfortable with the process, your conversations will become more interesting.
/r/seduction01/04/16 12:49 PM
3

Did your girl say yes or did she say no?
/r/seduction31/03/16 12:28 PM
5

If you only ever learn one thing from this sub, let it be that meals are horrible first dates. Do anything else.
/r/seduction30/03/16 05:11 PM
2

As often or as rarely as i want to. Sometimes I get chatty, but most of the time i'm trying to keep her from catching feelings, so I'll keep a lot of distance.
/r/seduction30/03/16 05:07 PM
6

It doesnt really matter. As long as you escalate kino, you could spend the whole time speaking Swahili and she'll still understand that it's a date.
/r/seduction30/03/16 03:38 PM
1

You should try the direct approach for awhile so that you get comfortable with both options. Don't over-do it with the physical compliments. Try to compliment something about her style instead.
/r/seduction30/03/16 02:35 AM
2

Instead of serving up technique, it concentrated on the fact that, as Gallwey wrote, "Every game is composed of two parts, an outer game and an inner game." I get it. In fact, that's exactly what I've been saying. Inner and outer game. The people above were saying nonsense like, "It's all about confidence." No, it's not. It's about confidence and skill.
/r/seduction30/03/16 01:26 AM
1

I've never played tennis before. Should I start by listening to my coach as he teaches me various techniques or should I just start swinging unconsciously?
/r/seduction29/03/16 08:43 PM
1

Are you trying to tell me that tennis players don't diligently practice their skills? You can have the best mindset in the world, but if you don't have the skills, you'll just look like an idiot when you "let it rain".
/r/seduction29/03/16 06:30 PM
1

I didn't care about getting a girlfriend or having sex, I just presumed "it would happen when it happens". "Getting a gf" and "having sex" are results. They require meaningful actions from people who are outside of your control, so they are not appropriate goals. However, you can and should work towards developing your social/dating skills. If you do that, women and sex will start to happen. At the end of the day she told me she was going out and had to say goodbye, I suggested that if she was i…
/r/seduction29/03/16 04:21 AM
2

Yup, it's happened to me a number of times. I'm nobody's hero, so it generally happens with women that are rather low on the desirability scale, but it definitely happens. If a woman perceives you as being higher in value than her, she will do a lot of the same things AFCs typically do.
/r/seduction29/03/16 04:08 AM
2

I can't really cold approach because I live in a small town Social circle game is what you need. David Wygant can get you started there. tl;dr: befriend everyone so that every approach is at least somewhat warm.
/r/seduction29/03/16 02:29 AM
11

Giving up? At age 25? You've got sixty more years left. You might want to keep trying.
/r/seduction29/03/16 02:19 AM
3

Escalate kino. Go on dates. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction28/03/16 11:16 PM
2

Realistically, I'd say you usually need to spend 2-5 hours together over the course of a couple dates. If you ooze masculinity and are good at screening for horniness, you can consistently make things happen in under an hour. If you're more of the provider type, you might end up in the 3-5 date range before she's attracted enough to drop her knickers. If you're teenagers, she's still trying to figure out who she is, so there's no rhyme or reason to it. Could be anywhere from minutes to "I'm savi…
/r/seduction28/03/16 04:04 PM
5

Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice. Build your skills and be social. The results will take care of themselves.
/r/seduction28/03/16 03:54 PM
1

Lol what are you basing that off of? Everything I've ever learned. I tried really hard to make the whole "sleeping on my textbooks so I could learn through 'osmosis'" thing work, but it turns out the only progress I've ever made in life came through diligent practice. If you think about how to walk, you'll start moving awkwardly even though you've been walking your entire life. I'm talking about learning a skill. Hopefully you're not still learning how to walk, so that's a different situation. Y…
/r/seduction27/03/16 12:36 PM
2

The only way to develop a new skill is to consciously concentrate on the proper technique in the moment. It is only after you've done it a great many times that you can perform the skill without thinking about it. And even then, it's not "all about the confidence"; it's the confidence and the skills you've developed.
/r/seduction27/03/16 04:01 AM
18

Exactly, it's all about confidence! ...and your shape, and your outfit, and your body language, and your conversational skills, and kino calibration, and... C'mon people... y'all know better than to say dumb shit like, "Just be confident!"
/r/seduction26/03/16 11:59 PM
1

Fishing is an unusual first date. I can see how it would be fun, but she might be a little leery about going somewhere secluded with some guy she doesn't know. She's probably just being cautious. Go. Have fun. Befriend the friend. Escalate kino.
/r/seduction26/03/16 12:47 PM
1

If you sit around waiting for opportunities, you'll miss out on a lot of good times. Learn how to create opportunities. Open anywhere. Befriend the whole group. Isolate her from the group when you're ready to escalate.
/r/seduction24/03/16 09:42 PM
3

"No kino" definitely isn't a good strategy and I'm sure OP realizes that. And yes, he readily admits that this wasn't a beauty queen. He's not trying to calling himself a god. He's just sharing his experience like he's supposed to. And really... give credit where credit is due. It may have been a slam dunk, but there were any number of ways he could have screwed it up. He did well.
/r/seduction23/03/16 01:51 PM
6

Epic successes, crash & burns, slam dunks, boring encounters... they're all useful in one way or another. You have to keep in mind that there are a lot of guys here that have been on very few dates. Posting FRs of all varieties gives them an idea of what things can be like.
/r/seduction23/03/16 01:44 PM
33

Zero kino to sex? Yeah, I was surprised too She wanted to ride you from the moment she laid eyes on you. She wanted to wait til the second date, but that was just a matter of strategy for her. Sometimes it's just a matter of showing up, but dude... Next time escalate Kino throughout the date.
/r/seduction23/03/16 10:36 AM
2

If he doesn't have enough for a hotel room, he doesn't have enough for an entire home.
/r/seduction21/03/16 11:20 PM
6

Absolutely do not bring a guest with you to an Airbnb or CS without clearing it with your host first. These are people's homes we're talking about.
/r/seduction21/03/16 09:08 PM
3

Just invite yourself over. It's rude, but if you don't have a place you can offer, it's either her place or somewhere in public. There's no sense in beating around the bush. If you're meeting in public or something first, try to pick somewhere in her neighborhood and then say, "Let's go back to your place" when it's sexy time. If it's a pure booty call, just ask her straight up if she can host.
/r/seduction21/03/16 06:30 PM
2

Right on. Have fun.
/r/seduction21/03/16 02:33 PM
3

You mean this explanation? That's still pretty shitty. Your reasons should generally have at least something to do with who she is as a person and how she matches up with you. I don't think she would be very happy to find out that she's just a warm body for you while you relax. Of course, she isn't going to find out about that, is she? You're gonna keep that part a secret. A relationship based on a lie... If you're not serious about her, don't pretend to be. If you have any kind of connection wi…
/r/seduction21/03/16 02:26 PM
11

Call it oneitis or whatever you want Oneitis is an unrequited feeling. There's nothing wrong with a mutual relationship. I don't have the time/energy to continue the single life right now. That's a pretty shitty reason for a relationship. Hopefully there's a lot more to it than that.
/r/seduction21/03/16 12:10 PM
3

http://www.slideshare.net/vhie130501/16768511-vindicarloescalationladder
/r/seduction21/03/16 01:23 AM
1

It's fine to apologize when you've been inappropriately distant, but 3 days? For a girl you haven't been on a date with? You shouldn't feel guilty about that. You don't owe her anything at that stage.
/r/seduction20/03/16 07:50 PM
5

Any suggestions on what happened Who knows? how to go forward before I give up? Dude, she's specifically avoiding you because you won't back off like she asked you to. It's over. Give up.
/r/seduction20/03/16 06:58 PM
3

What are the steps from "Walking side by side" to holding hands? You reach out and take her hand. It's really that simple. The tricky part is knowing when to make the escalations. Class 1 Do these pretty much any time on any date. They're perfectly harmless. Even if you completely misread the situation, the worst thing she's gonna do is say, "No, let's just be friends." Class 2 Do these with any girl that's been receptive to your Class 1 kinos. If she's staying close to you, making heavy eye con…
/r/seduction20/03/16 03:35 PM
1

It's way too early for that approach, especially considering that it's a holiday weekend. If he wasn't busy, maybe he should have texted her by now, but she doesn't know that he's been sitting around with his dick in his hands and he definitely doesn't owe her an apology for anything at this point.
/r/seduction20/03/16 05:11 AM
0

Well, you have to stop being terrible. It's gonna be a long, gradual process, so if you're looking for a quick fix, you might as well just give up now. Try -> Fail -> Learn -> Repeat. Read the sidebar and then start actively pursuing social opportunities like it's your job.
/r/seduction19/03/16 04:56 PM
2

You should have asked for her number, but since she initiated the friend request, you're gonna be alright. Ask her out.
/r/seduction19/03/16 04:53 PM
9

Sure, it'll be helpful in some ways, but completely useless in others. Spend time with your friend, but don't use that as an excuse to avoid meeting new women.
/r/seduction18/03/16 12:54 PM
4

Sure. Go. Have fun. In the long run, however, a little matchmaking here and there won't make any difference. You won't have a healthy, consistently-active dating life until you learn how to take matters into your own hands. Read the sidebar. Practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction18/03/16 12:49 PM
7

I love making love to women but hate all the work to get it. I love money, but hate work. Let's have a pity party. I can tell myself I need to approach, take more action, escalate, but knowing something and doing something is differently. I try, but I fail. One step at a time. How do you "try but fail" at approaching. You either approached her or you didn't. Approach her. Approach so many of them that you stop being afraid.
/r/seduction18/03/16 12:47 PM
3

It always comes down to experience. The more you do something, the easier it gets. Don't try to "say something cool"; just focus on being more engaged. React to what other people say. Voice opinions. Ask questions.
/r/seduction18/03/16 12:30 PM
28

Put yourself in group situations more often and practice being a more vocal member of the groups.
/r/seduction18/03/16 02:12 AM
2

They don't want you to be a single loner, so I doubt they have any problem with you dating. They're probably happy for you. They might have a problem with you having premarital sex, but they probably aren't forward enough to ask for those details, so you can just not mention that part. Regardless, if you're an adult, you need to learn how to respectfully ignore unwelcome opinions, even from your parents.
/r/seduction17/03/16 03:25 PM
1

Read the side bar and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction17/03/16 02:31 PM
1

The same way you do it anywhere else: flirt, escalate kino, sex. Read the sidebar and practice, practice, practice.
/r/seduction17/03/16 02:01 PM
4

If you know she wants a relationship and you indicated to her (through words or actions) that you want a relationship and she only wants to have sex in a relationship, you really shouldn't sleep with her without first clarifying that you don't actually want a relationship. Deceit doesn't need to be part of your game. Don't make it a whole big speech, though. Just something to the effect of, "I've really enjoyed these dates with you. I'd like to keep seeing you, but I'm not looking for something …
/r/seduction17/03/16 01:16 PM
4

You grew attached to your ex by sharing experiences with her over time. You'll grow unattached to your ex by having new experiences (preferably with other people) over time.
/r/seduction17/03/16 01:06 PM
85

No, don't lie. Your past is your past. Own it. How in the world is this subject coming up with someone "you're interested in"? This is the kind of question that comes up as you're getting to know each other over the course of the first few dates. If she's asking you about your history before you've even had a date, you're waiting way too long to ask for the date. Ask her out already!
/r/seduction16/03/16 07:42 PM
3

People forget names all the time. That's just the nature of short-term memory. She's not gonna get upset about it. Your frame should be strong enough to just admit it and ask again. Do it as soon as you realize you've forgotten, cuz it only gets weirder the longer you try to avoid it.
/r/seduction09/03/16 09:41 PM
6

Yeah, but taking it that far is how you turn into a pushy asshole. There's nothing wrong with keeping the party going as long as there's momentum, but if she's tired and has to work in the morning, have some decency and take the raincheck.
/r/seduction09/03/16 05:29 PM
12

Agree and amplify, as always. "Yeah, do you like it?? My mom said it was a real panty-dropper."
/r/seduction08/03/16 04:56 PM
5

I would just stop trying. If/when she invites you to something, accept it, but tell her to come pick you up. Then go about your day as if you don't actually have plans to hang out with her. If she shows up, great. If not, you're just doing whatever you'd be doing anyways. If you want to be slightly more proactive than that, just invite her to shit you're doing anyways. That way it doesn't matter if she shows up.
/r/seduction08/03/16 04:07 PM
3

I've had my best results through my social circle. The key is to date friends of friends and friends of colleagues. If you stay within the inner circle, you'll never get anywhere. Online dating is good too. I don't do enough cold approaches. I'm geographically hampered on that one and I also chicken out in the rare event that I do have opportunities. I need to work on that.
/r/seduction08/03/16 02:22 AM
10

"Daygame" is basically for any in-person approach that isn't in a highly-charged singles environment like a club. You can approach a girl in the library regardless of the time of day. Just leave them alone in situations where they would be worried about rapists; don't approach her when she's alone in a dark area.
/r/seduction08/03/16 02:18 AM
1

I figured you were measuring yourself against other guys, but it doesn't really matter. It all applies regardless of either gender. Stop judging people (including yourself) and just enjoy the social interactions.
/r/seduction07/03/16 05:43 PM
5

Why do I feel inferior when I have to introduce myself to someone? When a person asks me my name and stuff, I feel the other way around, I feel superior to them. Because you're insecure, constantly trying to figure out how you measure up. 99% of the time, it makes absolutely no difference whose status is what, so stop doing that. It makes you pass up perfectly good social opportunities and hinders the ones that do happen. What you need to realize is that most people are terrified of approaching …
/r/seduction07/03/16 04:57 PM
1

You are what you are and you like what you like. Don't waste your life worrying about things that are static.
/r/seduction02/03/16 04:24 AM
1

It's the same as or anyone else: read the sidebar and go practice, practice, practice. Depending on how bad your social skills are currently, it may take longer than a year, but if you're persistent, you'll see some results.
/r/seduction02/03/16 04:20 AM
3

If you can't ask someone out on a date, you're not going to have much of a dating life. Dealing with nerves is never fun, but it's something you're gonna have to learn to do if you want any results.
/r/seduction01/03/16 09:19 PM
2

You're shallowly pursuing sex, which is leading you to women who are shallowly pursuing money. If substance is what you want, you're fishing in the wrong pond. Change your approach if you want to attract the LTR-minded gals. There are a ton of them out there. Don't worry.
/r/seduction29/02/16 10:53 PM
2

"Change of plans. We're gonna ______ instead." If the movie was actually important to her, she'd watch it in her hometown. She's coming for you. If you lead, she'll follow.
/r/seduction29/02/16 04:54 AM
1

It's the same as anywhere, man. Approach, flirt, and escalate. Bonus points if you can position yourself as an alpha like Ricardo suggests.
/r/seduction29/02/16 04:51 AM
2

If she's having a good time, she won't be pulling out her phone very often and she definitely won't be "deep" into it. If this is seriously a problem, just cut the date short. There's no point in going out with someone that's ignoring you.
/r/seduction29/02/16 04:48 AM
18

"Yeah" and then carry on with the conversation. You don't need to defend or explain anything.
/r/seduction28/02/16 11:41 PM
1

I had maybe a set or two where the girl didn't immediately leave, but then I had no idea how to proceed. Those are successes! All of game can be boiled down to the idea of approaching a girl and getting her to stay long enough for intimacy to develop. Most girls bailed right away; some stayed for a minute. As you get better, more of them will stay longer and longer. It'll probably be awhile before you get laid regularly, but you can measure your progress by the increasing length of time they sti…
/r/seduction27/02/16 05:24 PM
3

If it's a McJob, fuck 'em all. Literally. It's one of few perks of having an unimportant job. And yes, she's definitely interested. She said "don't look at it yet" because she didn't want to be around to see a potentially negative reaction. She overcame some serious approach anxiety to give you that number and that's pretty unusual for a woman to do. She's very interested and she got tired of waiting for you to make a move. So hurry up and make a move! She's already wondering why you haven't tex…
/r/seduction27/02/16 06:58 AM
4

Use occasional silences as compliance tests. It's important to maintain good body language during the silence.
/r/seduction27/02/16 06:49 AM
1

You take a deep breath and recognize that you aren't actually going to die of starvation. It's ok if you don't get to eat that meal right over there; you'll get plenty to eat in the long run.
/r/seduction27/02/16 06:43 AM
1

I would also add that you get best results by treating it as a cycle. Revisiting the theories will fill in any gaps as you gain experience.
/r/seduction27/02/16 04:43 AM
4

It's a great post, with one caveat: it doesn't apply to AFCs. This is for guys that can build attraction, but struggle with building comfort. The average AFC already spends way too much effort trying to build comfort; the last thing they need to do is worry about getting better at it.
/r/seduction27/02/16 04:28 AM
12

If "vulnerability" means pouring out your soul, you should only do that when it's relevant, preferably to someone who is interested in you to that degree. If "vulnerability" means being your authentic self, even when some of the people around want you to behave differently, then yes, you should always do that. That's assuming, of course, that your authentic self isn't a complete asshole.
/r/seduction23/02/16 07:57 PM
25

but that ship has sailed since I asked her "do you want to see a movie". And that was what she said yes to. Nah, man... she said yes to spending a few hours with you. The movie is just the excuse; if she really cared about it, she would have made her own plans to see it by now. So if you want to change the plans, go ahead and do it. Just say, "Change of plans, let's _________ instead." 80% chance she'll be cool with it. If she's not, she'll say so and you can go back to the original plan. Sponta…
/r/seduction23/02/16 07:26 PM
1

most of the girls are in a big city 60 minutes away Most people don't want to deal with that kind of distance, so you're naturally going to get a much lower response rate.
/r/seduction22/02/16 03:58 AM
2

Crop them out of the pics so that they can tell you're with a chick (pre-selection) without showing enough to for them to get jealous.
/r/seduction22/02/16 03:56 AM
1

Try again if you want, but make sure you're still approaching other women. Don't sit around being monogamous for a girl that you haven't even dated yet.
/r/seduction02/02/16 08:12 PM
3

It's two hours of the best inner-game material you've ever heard. Very little outer-game.
/r/seduction30/01/16 01:58 PM
6

Instead of trying to make it on your own in one of the world's hardest cities (when you're probably not ready), perhaps its time to inject a little maturity into your relationship with your parents. It sounds like you're hiding big parts of your life from them. That's what kids do.
/r/seduction29/01/16 09:44 PM
2

somehow you're forgetting about a crucial fact that is glaringly obviously and really overrides the entire thing. he was gay and you're not. No, the problem is that OP indicated his lack of interest in a dozen different ways and the guy still persisted at full speed. He was absolutely oblivious to the IODs. The entire sexual conversation (and flashing) was essentially non-consensual, which had to make OP start to wonder whether the dude would respect any boundaries. That's what makes it creepy.
/r/seduction29/01/16 02:09 PM
5

Forget about her fairy tale nonsense. She's made it clear on a number of occasions that she's not ready for sex and that evidence will be used against you if there's every any question about consent. Do not stick anything in her without unambiguous consent. Your life is literally at stake. P.S. Save your money. If she's into you and her hormones are firing, she's gonna fuck you regardless of the setting. And if she's not gonna do it, no amount of money is going to change that.
/r/seduction28/01/16 08:15 PM
5

When you're dealing with someone that you'll naturally come into contact with frequently, you can get away with a pretty passive approach. Don't get too complacent, though, or you'll miss opportunities, especially with women that you won't see very often.
/r/seduction29/12/15 10:00 PM
3

People get nervous when they're facing the possibility of really bad consequences. If I fall from this high up, I'll die. If I don't pass this test, I'll be grounded for weeks. If I trip on stage, I'll be ridiculed from now until graduation. If I act awkwardly, this awesome girl who could be "the one" will never talk to me again. To calm yourself, you just need to realize that there's a 99.9% chance you're not going to marry that girl. There's a 90% chance you won't even remember her ten years f…
/r/seduction17/12/15 09:56 PM
3

It's generally a good idea to avoid that sort of thing, but it's a rule that you can feel free to break if you really want to. Just be prepared for the eventual fallout. The bigger question is why do you want to date a coworker/roommate/etc. Most of the time it's because the guy isn't making an effort to go out and meet random women. Instead he sits around building up a fantasy about whatever woman happens to be nearby on a regular basis. If that's you, you'll be a lot better off in the long run…
/r/seduction14/12/15 07:34 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3wdzxq/frupdate_my_pitiful_cold_approach_game/cxwq0da
/r/seduction14/12/15 06:11 PM
3

Any time someone's telling a story, your natural inclination is to wonder, "What happened next?" Instead, wonder things like, "What were the characters feeling when that happened?" This can go in a lot of ways, but let's just say she's telling you a story about the time her beloved house cat ran away. A typical male response would be to skip forward to the happy ending where the cat came back safely a few days later and dismiss the story as unimportant because cats do shit like that all the time…
/r/seduction12/12/15 07:56 PM
2

Give yourself permission to suck. It's your first first date, so ya know... you are going to suck at it. And that's perfectly ok, because there's really nothing meaningful at stake here. It is incredibly unlikely that this girl is every going to be more than a minor footnote in the story that is your life. Just try to have a good time and post a field report when you're done. Then we'll talk about what you can do better in the future.
/r/seduction11/12/15 08:06 PM
7

How old are you? Two weeks is a blink of the eye. Stop worrying about "long term" until you've actually been together awhile. Just enjoy the moment. Real relationships are based on trust. If you don't trust her, don't get in a relationship with her. If you want to fuck her, go ahead and fuck her. If you only want to have sex in a committed long term relationship, slow down and wait until you're in a committed long term relationship.
/r/seduction11/12/15 07:55 PM
7

You did fine. In the future, talk less about biographical shit. Look for the emotions beneath all that. Also, an insta-date can help create a better connection; look for ways to change venues. It can be something as simple as, "I wanna stretch my legs. Let's walk and talk." You'll have better kino opportunities and you'll stumble across a wider variety of conversational material.
/r/seduction11/12/15 05:28 PM
2

But I have to avenge this 18 years old guy, who, from the friend zone watch the girls with envy and always get rejected. I know it’s immature. But I mean they hurt me so badly… Dude, they didn't hurt you. You hurt yourself. You were young, inexperienced, and insecure. You made a lot of bad decisions, which inevitably led to your many heartaches. If you accept responsibility for the role you played in your rocky past, you'll find that the feelings of anger and vindictiveness will subside. Now, be…
/r/seduction27/11/15 03:03 PM
5

Enjoy the awesome feelings, man, but don't get too carried away. It takes at least six months to figure out if a relationship actually has long-term potential. The incredible power of those early months (as you're now experiencing) is often strong enough to mask some major incompatibilities, but they will eventually surface. If you embrace the we're-perfect-for-each-other narrative too tightly, too soon, it gets a lot harder to get out of the relationship if things turn sour. You probably know a…
/r/seduction26/11/15 09:15 PM
4

He's only been going out with her for six weeks. It's puppy love.
/r/seduction26/11/15 09:05 PM
2

You're making a mountain out of a molehill. https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index#wiki_penis_size There's nothing you can do about it anyways, so this is purely a mental/body-image issue. You just have to get over it. Get professional help, if necessary. Seriously. The sooner you accept yourself, the sooner you'll be happy.
/r/seduction20/11/15 02:22 PM
2

it becomes terrifying to let go out of fear of never finding it again. Indeed. You have to do it anyways. If it's not a good match, move on.
/r/seduction29/10/15 03:50 PM
2

Yes.
/r/seduction21/10/15 10:46 PM
1

Think of it in terms of alcoholism. If you know that one drink is going to turn into a train wreck, then you should absolutely abstain completely. But if you know you can exchange a few texts without losing your frame, go for it.
/r/seduction14/10/15 04:50 AM
1

You're not wrong, but I bet you're missing some opportunities. People legitimately get busy and neglect social connections at times; this is especially true for high-value women, who are always in demand. People's priorities also have a way of changing over time. She may have been knee deep in dick a few months ago, but it's getting cold at night and things might have tapered off. She might be really excited to hear from a potential cuddle buddy. It costs nothing to keep the line of communicatio…
/r/seduction14/10/15 01:31 AM
2

I respect myself enough that I can interact everyone and not despair over someone's lack of reciprocation. After all, if everybody goes around waiting for the other person to make a move, nobody moves.
/r/seduction13/10/15 02:11 AM
1

You say "keep texting" as if I'm harassing her. I specifically said to let weeks and months pass between texts. I ain't writing love notes or anything. It's just a simple "hi" to check in. Do you seriously banish people from your life if they ignore a text or two? That's... extreme.
/r/seduction13/10/15 01:33 AM
1

The harm is you lower your self worth Wut?? There's absolutely no connection between texting and my self worth. I love myself unconditionally. If she ignores me repeatedly, my feelings for her will drop accordingly, but that doesn't mean I need to get pissy and cut contact. I'll still keep in touch and fuck her if the opportunity presents itself.
/r/seduction12/10/15 10:59 PM
10

I'm putting myself in a spiral of self-loathing Stop doing that. You'll drive yourself insane if you take every misfire as a personal failing. It doesn't matter what the status of your dating life is, ya gotta love yourself unconditionally. See a therapist if you need help with that.
/r/seduction12/10/15 10:20 PM
0

If you get blown off several times in a row, it's a virtual certainty that she's not interested. There's no harm in continuing to try, though. Just wait progressively longer in between texts. 1 day -> 3 days -> 9 days -> 18 days -> 36 days -> 72 days etc
/r/seduction12/10/15 10:10 PM
3

You're self-conscious about looking young, so I'm sure there's an observational bias. Also, teenagers aren't very subtle, so it's easier to notice their attention. The bottom line here is that if you want women your own age, approach women your own age. You shouldn't be waiting around for a neon sign. Side note: If you have the opportunity to fuck some women who are in their physical prime, you should go for it. Even if you decide that you prefer women your own age, the experience will solidify …
/r/seduction12/10/15 12:50 PM
2

That's like saying you're not fan of playing defense. You can spend most of your time practicing jump shots if you want, but if you can't play defense, you're not gonna be very good at basketball. Remember, outer game isn't just canned lines or whatever. It's everything you do to interact with her. If you're to the point where you can get good results without consciously thinking through your actions, that's awesome. "Here's your diploma, kid. You made it!" Most of the guys here aren't to that p…
/r/seduction07/10/15 12:49 PM
41

"Say whatever is on your mind." "Relax and be yourself." He's not wrong, but it's really just a typical "Don't worry about Outer Game; use Inner Game instead" post. The real truth is that you'll get your best results when you have the hang of both.
/r/seduction07/10/15 03:09 AM
1

Brevity makes it easy to grasp. Repetition makes it sink in. Sorry, I'll stop now. :) Take care, man!
/r/seduction06/10/15 02:21 PM
1

Asking her to step outside is a "compliance test." There has to be at least a decent amount of attraction built up before any girl is going to follow your lead, so unless you're Brad Pitt, you there early in your approach. You can definitely do it later in the approach, though. It's good to move her around the venue. You just jumped the gun a bit. Good job on the approach! Blow outs are part of the game. If you're not failing, you're not learning. Keep at it! P.S. Next time, don't wait a year to…
/r/seduction06/10/15 01:51 PM
6

Brevity makes it easy to grasp. Repetition makes it sink in. ;-)
/r/seduction05/10/15 05:15 AM
6

Brevity makes it easy to grasp. Repetition makes it sink in.
/r/seduction05/10/15 02:56 AM
8

Brevity is often better than verbosity. “I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” - Mark Twain
/r/seduction05/10/15 01:56 AM
2

it'd be hard for me to really blow up at her since she's "in the group" "Blowing up" is for muscle-headed idiots; don't do that. There are more civilized ways to check someone who crosses a line, especially if they're in your circle.
/r/seduction04/10/15 11:49 PM
2

If it's playful, play along with it. "I'm sorry, are you not getting enough attention? Here..." and then give her a giant dose of kino. A long, handsy hug would do the trick. Then push her away and go back to whatever you were doing. This a) negs her for being needy, b) ramps up some kino, and c) leaves her wanting more. If it's not playful, tell her to fuck off.
/r/seduction04/10/15 06:03 PM
2

Keep your availability low. Keep your spirits high. If she cancels on you with notice, it's no big deal because she gave you time to find something else to do and that would have been your fourth date of the week, so you're in the mood for a guy's night out anyways. If she cancels on you without notice, it's still not a big deal; you'll just know her down the scheduling priority list going forward. If she asks you to do something you don't want to do, don't do it; you have enough of your own shi…
/r/seduction03/10/15 04:46 AM
1

It was just a lot better when it was smaller. Such complaints aren't new. Nostalgia is a weird thing.
/r/seduction01/10/15 01:05 PM
3

Ah, gotcha. For me, it was a disastrously bad relationship. I realized that I lacked the ability to meet and attract women, so I had a habit of latching onto whichever broken women would have me. I realized that I needed to seriously improve my social skills if I wanted to pull myself from that place of desperation that I was in.
/r/seduction30/09/15 03:08 PM
4

What do you mean? This isn't a religion. We just pay attention to how people tend to interact and we give tips to guys that haven't figured it out on their own. There's nothing to "believe in".
/r/seduction30/09/15 02:42 PM
1

Quit with the excuses and go talk to the girl. If you're intent on playing the language card, go up to her and say, "So I hear you speak Italian" in Italian. She'll follow your lead. When the conversation gets to the point that you can't keep up, switch to English. You're looking for a lover, not a tutor, so don't force it. Flirt and escalate kino.
/r/seduction30/09/15 12:26 PM
2

I'm assuming by having an abundance mentality and show that they're not the only option I have. Yes. Focus on building a vibrant social life and you'll soon find that yourself way too busy to be over-investing in girls you don't know. Fake it til you make it, if you have to.
/r/seduction30/09/15 03:01 AM
1

You can go that route, but it's better to just do it with your actions. If you escalate kino, she'll understand that your interest isn't platonic.
/r/seduction30/09/15 03:00 AM
1

It's basically a cross between day game and social circle game. You're going in with little, if any, social proof, but because you're guaranteed to see her often, you don't have to rush the encounter. Just do the usual flirt, escalate kino, and date thing. It'll ultimately come down to how well you calibrate for the situation, but that part will come with practice. So go practice with her!
/r/seduction30/09/15 02:59 AM
1

This what we'd call a "situational opener". You're not going to memorize one for every possible situation, so it's better to just practice coming up with them on the fly. If you pay attention to what's going on around you, there's always something you can mention. And worst case... just say "hi". A boring opener is always better than no opener.
/r/seduction29/09/15 01:18 PM
1

What "strategy" are you referring to? He's attracting women by being social and running game, the same as everyone else. They're attracted to his personality, of which his hobbies are only one small part.
/r/seduction29/09/15 01:14 PM
2

Yes, honesty is a good thing.
/r/seduction29/09/15 10:39 AM
3

In case you didn't pick up on it, his point is that you should have some authentic conversation-starters that you can toss out at any random person. Then you need to listen for clues and steer the conversation towards topics that interest both of you.
/r/seduction29/09/15 03:51 AM
1

The date isn't what gets you somewhere. It's your actions that drive the story forward. If you flirt and escalate kino, you will find out if she's game for anything. If you don't, you won't. Everything else is just background noise.
/r/seduction29/09/15 02:33 AM
1

What is there to orchestrate? Forget about everything you've seen in movies. First dates are simple outings to flirt and test chemistry. Get a cup of coffee with her and walk in the park or something. If you flirt and escalate kino, you'll soon find out where she stands.
/r/seduction29/09/15 02:23 AM
9

If you can genuinely treat her as a friend, then you should absolutely take her in as a friend. If, however, you're gonna spend the whole time wondering if you can get in her pants, you're better off to just cut contact.
/r/seduction29/09/15 02:20 AM
1

After you've learned the basics of seduction, everything pretty much comes down to calibration. Sometimes you'll go too slow, sometimes too fast. Both are bad. Most guys are so afraid of going too fast that they always err on the side of too slow and they never really find that happy medium. Don't get hung up on this one mistake. You're doing fine. Do you want to date this girl or not? If you do, you have to keep dating her. No more of this "friends" bullshit. Flirt and escalate kino.
/r/seduction29/09/15 02:19 AM
0

It's the eternal september, my friend. No matter how well we teach, there's a new batch of rookies every day. Just keep preaching.
/r/seduction29/09/15 02:12 AM
1

Do you want her as a lover? If so, treat her as a lover. Flirt. Escalate kino. If not, treat her as a friend.
/r/seduction29/09/15 02:09 AM
1

I think it goes without saying that people in violent homes have fewer options than the rest of us. I hope you get out soon.
/r/seduction28/09/15 05:30 PM
1

That doesn't really change anything. If your target is a woman, you need to take the initiative, because she probably won't.
/r/seduction26/09/15 06:11 PM
24

This is an extreme example because a) the girl stayed interested for a long time and b) they eventually laid their cards on the table. The core of the story happens constantly, though. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. Boy too afraid to make a move. Girl figures he's not interested and moves on. Tl;Dr: OP learned the right lesson. He needs to be more aggressive.
/r/seduction26/09/15 01:55 PM
19

Women aren't owned by anyone, so you're asking the wrong question. Instead ask yourself this: Do you want to be with a woman who breaks her commitments?
/r/seduction26/09/15 01:43 PM
9

Different people have different preferences. Generally speaking, however, the intensity of the kiss should match the intensity of the moment. Gentle when you're chilling, forceful when you're about to fuck her brains out.
/r/seduction25/09/15 09:51 PM
7

You can rage about the lack of manners in modern society if you want, but there's not much sense in it. Just accept that silence is a "no" and carry on with your life.
/r/seduction24/09/15 06:45 PM
3

I think you forgot to read my second paragraph: That doesn't mean you have to lie or hide your sobriety. Just make sure you match the bar's energy level. It doesn't matter what you drink; it matters how you act. You have to match the patrons' energy level, because they're not going to meet you at yours. If you're joining in on all their fun, they won't even notice that you're not drinking. Drunks, after all, aren't terribly observant.
/r/seduction24/09/15 06:05 PM
2

Maybe. There's only one way to find out: Go on a date. Flirt. Escalate kino.
/r/seduction24/09/15 05:37 PM
1

If your sobriety is obvious, you're going to have a hard time connecting with anyone at the bar. That'd be like going to a book club and trying to talk to everybody about a movie you just saw. They may like movies, but that's not what they're in the mood to talk about. That doesn't mean you have to lie or hide your sobriety. Just make sure you match the bar's energy level. You don't have the crutch to help you get there, so it'll be harder for you to do. You can do it, though, and it's a good th…
/r/seduction24/09/15 05:32 PM
15

"Memento Mori" is a good shorthand for the idea in case you like brevity.
/r/seduction23/09/15 06:02 PM
2

Relax and enjoy! Your technique will improve in time as you figure out what you and her enjoy. For now, just treat it as an experiment. Try something and see if you like it. Then try something else and something else and something else. It's not going to be anything like the movies, so don't worry about comparisons. Do your thing and laugh at any awkwardness.
/r/seduction23/09/15 02:42 PM
2

I simply find it really difficult to see the best in everyone. No shit. It's hard to see the best in someone when you've already slapped a label on them after just 20 seconds. You'll never see their depth if you judge them after a quick glance at their surface.
/r/seduction22/09/15 07:42 PM
6

You're in desperate need of some humility. You think you know what someone's about within 20 seconds of meeting him? That's crazy talk. Are you that simple? Why would you think other people are? Here's your bucket of cold water: you're a low value male. Not only are you not giving value to anyone, you're running around taking value from as many people as possible. It's good that you admit you're not Simba, but you need to realize that you're not even Scar; you're the damn hyenas! Offering value …
/r/seduction22/09/15 01:50 PM
5

Gotta try to make these guys come to terms that looks>all. That's... um... an interesting hobby you have there. Have fun.
/r/seduction21/09/15 07:40 PM
1

How much time do you want to put into this? It's not your duty to fix this girl, so do the dance with her for as long as you find it fun. If it gets to be tedious, cut bait. Oh, and you're still approaching other women, right? Don't get hung up on a girl that's not hung up on you.
/r/seduction21/09/15 07:29 PM
5

You clearly don't understand that social skills can be learned and that socially inept guys come here to learn them, so... why are you here?
/r/seduction21/09/15 07:17 PM
1

The escalation is the same. Just do it slowly, and more deliberately. Whatever kino and eye contact you're currently doing, stretch them out a bit. Hold the eye contact longer than you're used to. Hold that hug a little longer too. Gradually start adding new kinds of kino. Hold off on the kiss for awhile, though. Hollywood puts so much importance in the kiss that she probably has some hang-ups there. Focus on all of the other forms of kino until she gets to the point where she enjoys your touch …
/r/seduction21/09/15 06:18 PM
2

And learn how to hold eye contact, stand up straight, carry on a conversation, escalate kino, lead the interaction, etc, etc.
/r/seduction21/09/15 04:25 PM
3

This is a sub devoted to helping guys become more attractive. You don't have to help if you don't want to, but keep your fatalistic tripe to yourself.
/r/seduction21/09/15 04:13 PM
2

It's a bad habit. Break it the way you would any other bad habit.
/r/seduction21/09/15 02:55 PM
24

Proximity is the only IOI you need. If you flirt and escalate kino, she'll distance herself from you if she's not interested and she'll stay if she is interested.
/r/seduction21/09/15 01:56 PM
3

"Threading". When people tell stories, they inevitably drop clues about other aspects of their lives. If you pull on those "threads", other stories will come out in a relatively smooth fashion.
/r/seduction16/09/15 06:26 PM
3

how do I transition from friendly, playful chat to dating mode The difference between a friend and a (potential) lover is touch. We touch and are touched by our lovers in ways that friends would consider inappropriate. So... if you want a lover, touch her in increasingly intimate ways. We refer to it as "kino", short for kinesthetic. Read the sidebar. I don't want to be known as the creepy cold approach guy. There are two kinds of "creepy" in modern parlance. First, there's the guy with no socia…
/r/seduction15/09/15 12:23 PM
15

is there any unique way you do it? Seduction is like chess: no matter what your skill level, you get the same pieces that have the same moves. There's nothing even remotely "unique" out there. The difference is that the expert has seen everything before. Very little surprises him. He understands the board at all times. He knows what direction and pace things need to proceed at to reach a favorable outcome. He knows when to attack, when to defend, and when to reorganize. tl;dr: After you have the…
/r/seduction15/09/15 12:08 PM
1

Im thinking about joking around over how terrible my kiss was Don't do that. It'll probably come across wrong, especially over text. I want to contact her now but don't know what to say. Don't try to chat with her over text. Just set up the next date and chat with her then.
/r/seduction14/09/15 01:26 PM
3

If you don't want a boyfriend, don't act like a girlfriend. In other words, if you want it to be all about sex, make it all about sex. Jump him as soon as he walks in the door and politely send him on his way when you're done. He'll get the message. After a couple times of that, you can get a little more lenient if you want to balance things out a bit.
/r/seduction14/09/15 01:07 PM
1

now the excitement has worn off a little If the excitement has worn off already, you're being way too vanilla. Hop on /r/sex/ and explore some positions, toys, kinks, etc. There are a million things to try.
/r/seduction14/09/15 12:14 AM
1

it's the escalating part I don't know how to do. I don't believe you, but if it's really true, read up on the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder. for some reason at this point I'm nervous to actually lay a girl. See the advice I just gave this guy
/r/seduction14/09/15 12:12 AM
1

You can't fix an inner problem with external solutions. If your inner game is shit, you will always find "reasons" to hate on yourself. Give yourself permission to suck at sex. It's ok! Go ahead and suck at it for a year. Be selfish. Tell her to do the things you enjoy. Don't ask, tell. Don't worry about lasting long enough to get her off. Just do what feels good to you and get off whenever it's in reach. If it's not happening one night, just go ahead and stop. It's ok. In other words, relax. Yo…
/r/seduction13/09/15 02:47 PM
14

That is the most self-defeating bullshit I've ever heard. Are you resigning yourself to a life of celibacy or something? If you have any hope of having a dating life at some point in the future, you gotta wipe away the tears and get back in the game. Sitting on the sidelines will only make you fall further and further behind. If dating is too much for you right now, that's fine, but you at least need to get out there and learn how to hold eye contact and talk to them.
/r/seduction13/09/15 12:59 PM
1

How do you constantly talk without repeating topics/questions? There are millions of things to talk about. Start with obvious topics and look for tangents to go off on. Get beneath the surface. Explore underlying motivations. Find the story behind the story. Also is there a way to message girls on your facebook that you don't know without looking like a creep? A strong man approaches women in person. A weak man does it behind a computer because it helps protect his fragile ego. If you approach a…
/r/seduction12/09/15 06:36 PM
2

Awesome. You are able to do it! Now you just need to do it more often. Then a little more and a little more. Do it enough and you'll start to get good at it, which makes it easier to do it even more often.
/r/seduction12/09/15 12:34 AM
1

You can be quiet and low energy, as long as you target women who are on the same wavelength. It ain't gonna fly in typical night game, but it'll work wonders in low key venues. "Shy" is a deal breaker, though. Women aren't going to approach you with any regularity, so you have to be willing to approach them.
/r/seduction12/09/15 12:30 AM
4

im too shy to be able to even talk to anyone When was the last time you spoke to someone?
/r/seduction11/09/15 05:55 PM
2

You escalate kino until your penis is inside her. Then escalate a little more. ;-)
/r/seduction11/09/15 05:49 PM
1

Throw someone who is shy, low energy, and or quiet into a setting with multiple women the success rate drops to below 0%. Yes, people with no game get no results. I'm pretty sure everyone here learned that the hard way. That's why we came here. :) Stop making excuses and start developing your personality!
/r/seduction11/09/15 02:05 PM
2

Absolutely. Developing that charisma is the whole point of this sub.
/r/seduction11/09/15 02:03 PM
5

That's true, but if you're referring to this tired joke, remember that attraction for women is much more about personality than appearance. If your appearance is mediocre or worse, that will certainly hurt you on cold approaches, but the women in your social circle will gradually see how awesome your personality is and their attraction will grow accordingly. You still have to execute, of course, and you should make reasonable efforts to improve your appearance, but don't get hung up on that shit…
/r/seduction11/09/15 02:02 PM
4

Works for everything except sticking it in. For that, "now" is good, but "five more minutes of foreplay" is usually better.
/r/seduction11/09/15 01:23 PM
3

There are plenty of mid-30s and older guys there. I'm sure there are plenty of parents as well. I'm both. Anyways, you'll learn some game the same way anyone else does: read the sidebar. Then get out and practice. Keys: Assume attraction, approach, escalate kino.
/r/seduction10/09/15 04:14 PM
2

how to get her number? http://i.imgur.com/lBc7qb1.png im just to pussy to ask Do you want to die a virgin? Cuz that's how you die a virgin. You can read every word ever written about everything and you still won't get anywhere until you start fighting back against your fears. Notice the fear. Then take a deep breath and do exactly what the scaredy cat voice is telling you not to do. Just Do It.
/r/seduction10/09/15 12:36 PM
10

Every guy here -- no matter what level his inner game is at -- needs to pound it into their skulls: Assume attraction. Approach. Escalate kino. The whole thing will start to come "naturally" in time as your inner game improves, but there's no reason to sit around waiting. Tattoo it to the back of your hand and fake it 'til you make it.
/r/seduction10/09/15 12:12 PM
2

I tried to play it off as no big deal and that I am much more mature than my age but it was pretty downhill from there. You probably came off as defensive. Try treating it as a shit test, agree and amplify. "Oh. Yeah, that'd never work. (quick pause) How many grandkids do you have?" That's probably not the best joke to use, but I'm sure you can come up with something. The key is to just react playfully and keep flirting. If you end up in a rational conversation about the merits of age gaps, you'…
/r/seduction08/09/15 07:15 PM
4

Merriam-Webster generally has better definitions than Google and they literally include the words "intent to deceive" in their definition of the verb "lie", but even your definition includes a form of the word "intent" in it, so I have no idea where you get the idea that intent is irrelevant. Lighten up. You'll be a lot more fun at parties if you allow for some playful role-playing.
/r/seduction08/09/15 07:07 PM
1

my parents probably wouldn't have even cared that much but it felt rude and selfish. You're welcome to live however you want, but realize that the problem is entirely in your own head. You can resolve this hang-up if you want to. You don't have to be controlled by such limiting feelings.
/r/seduction07/09/15 06:18 PM
3

I said "be respectful" about it, which usually means taking reasonable precautions to minimize noise. If he's got a squeaky bed, he should fix it or buy a new one. That's a hell of a lot easier than moving out. Noises probably aren't his problem, though. He's probably avoiding the issue because he's ashamed to openly admit to his parents that he's sexually active. He's 23. He needs to put on his adult shoes and come out of the closet. Then, if appropriate, he can have a conversation with them ab…
/r/seduction07/09/15 05:44 PM
7

Do you honestly think your parents have gone the last 23 years without having sex? They've probably had sex this week and it's even possible they were banging while you typed this post! It's perfectly ok to have sex with other people in the house. Just try to be respectful about it.
/r/seduction07/09/15 03:41 PM
2

The lightning thing was hyperbole, but if you really want to be pedantic, here are some numbers. I stand by my point that OP is almost certainly destined to get laid.
/r/seduction03/09/15 08:59 PM
2

Still I have this gnawing feeling that I won't succeed. Succeed at what? Getting laid... ever? Of course you will. You're the most recent generation of an unending string of men who managed to get at least enough pussy to procreate. You're more likely to get struck by lightning than to die a virgin. Having said that, your goals are probably a lot higher than just getting laid once. You probably want a healthy dating life and the ability to choose a good match from a variety of quality women. Tha…
/r/seduction03/09/15 07:36 PM
6

The type of bait you use depends on the type of fish you want to catch. Think about what kind of woman you want to attract and wear the kind of outfit she would expect you to wear in that venue. If you're going for the girl that's always the best dressed in whatever room she's in, you should be too. If you want a casual, down-to-earth girl, she's going to think you're vain if you're over-dressed, so you'll want to keep it casual too. Or just wear whatever the fuck you want to wear. You're allowe…
/r/seduction03/09/15 07:22 PM
5

Waitresses, bartenders, etc are experts at flirting. It's literally how they earn a living. Go ahead and flirt with her when you need a confidence boost, but if she's your most promising target, you need to seriously re-evaluate your approach to dating, cuz it's incredibly unlikely that she's interested in you; she's just doing her job. Read the sidebar and start approaching women who aren't economically motivated to interact with you. That is how you can build a healthy dating life.
/r/seduction03/09/15 05:12 PM
2

Stop worrying about the other guy. It's normal for adults to casually date multiple people at the same time. Now, it sounds like you're pretty timid, so you probably didn't escalate fast enough. You might have missed your window of opportunity, but there's probably a part of her that's still into you. If you want to salvage things, you have to flip the script and start being bold. From now on, no more text conversations. If she wants to chat with you, it has to be in person. If she texts you, re…
/r/seduction03/09/15 03:21 PM
2

she was clearly DTF. Has my window disappeared? Probably not. She knows about the break-up, so the fact that you need a little bit of time to gather yourself is probably a bit endearing to her. Assume attraction. Ask her out. Escalate kino. then telling her "I don't know if it was just because I was reeling and emotional, but I felt a vibe between us and I think we should hang out. What do you think?" Lose the whole preample. You're adults; if you ask her out, she knows it's because you're inter…
/r/seduction02/09/15 09:14 PM
3

Fuck ten other women. Or as we say in polite society: you get over breakups by moving on. Focusing on the past will keep you in the past. Get out and live a socially active life, like you should be doing anyways. Meet new people, particularly women.
/r/seduction02/09/15 09:08 PM
5

It could be anything. I had one ex call me up way after the relationship had ended because she had heard that I had committed some minor transgression towards some random girl. The whole thing was keeping her up at night for months before she finally decided she needed to confront me. It was ridiculous. There's just no telling what might be going through a girl's head at any given time. The real question is: what do you want? If you want to know what's going through her head, meet up with her. I…
/r/seduction02/09/15 09:04 PM
2

In today's lesson, we learned that people (including girls) often don't know what they want. Their words say one thing, but their actions say another. This is just one of the many reasons why you shouldn't run around trying to give people what they say they want. Just do what you want. If she likes it, she'll stick around. If she doesn't, she won't. Either way, just keep being you. Now the questions, should I chat her up on FB, give her some time and play cold, wait for another party or just dro…
/r/seduction02/09/15 03:54 PM
2

you should learn to not be akward witg girls by becoming friendly and talkative with everyone No matter how good you get, there will always be some awkward moments. Life gets easier when you come to terms with that and learn how to handle them. What if you really wanted to talk to one of them? This isnt how you should do it. Indeed. This is not what you should do when you're actually looking for results. It's just a practice exercise.
/r/seduction02/09/15 02:44 AM
1

Well I wish I could, but that wouldn't work for alcohol So don't get alcohol. For the mini first dates, it doesn't take effect in time to change the dynamics anyways, so going non-alcoholic is a good way to separate yourself from all the guys that are trying to get her drunk so they can take advantage of her.
/r/seduction01/09/15 08:42 PM
1

Usually I'll try and sit next to them but this can feel a bit awkward and just not natural. If you're not comfortable with that, get your drink to-go and take a stroll. Lots of opportunities for light kino when you're walking side by side.
/r/seduction01/09/15 06:27 PM
2

What is a typical first date for you? Mine look like this. The goal is just to do a quick test of our chemistry and build some basic trust. It almost doesn't even count as a date, but it gets us past the point of being "strangers" quickly. The second date (which is basically just the first date) starts with a more familiar feel, which allows us to do things that might otherwise seem uncomfortable on a first date. P.S. Kino, kino, kino. Start small and escalate steadily. If your meeting place mak…
/r/seduction01/09/15 05:09 PM
1

Telling stories is fun. Listening to stories is fun. His story is relevant to this community, so it was perfectly acceptable for him to tell it here. Lighten up.
/r/seduction31/08/15 06:42 PM
2

He's no male model. He's just a guy with solid inner game and enough outer game that he was really fun to be around one night. Social proof is self-reinforcing like that. When shit goes bad, it can drive you down and be really bad. When the stars line up, however, it can lead to some unbelievable nights. Hell, I barely know what I'm doing but awhile back, I had two girls bust in on me in the bathroom looking for some action. Crazy shit really does happen. Most nights are pretty tame, but if you …
/r/seduction31/08/15 05:09 PM
2

I don't see anyone talking about a 100% success rate. It's all clearly a single anecdote about a night where things went particularly well. He even pointed out that his "10" declined the first dance and some girls at another table did too. The key is that he kept going and didn't take it personally. Good advice for guys of all experience levels.
/r/seduction31/08/15 04:15 PM
2

Truth? You weren't there, so how do you know anything about this girl? OP was in the room; he gets the benefit of the doubt. As for the tendency towards over-rating women, who cares? Newbies can't even pull a 7, so what does it matter if they have misconceptions about tens? For now, they just need to get out there and get experience. If they find some motivation in stories like this, that's a good thing.
/r/seduction31/08/15 03:45 PM
4

What games? He went out and had a good time. If he had been the one coordinating the group outing, it would have been a major dick move to bail on everyone. That wasn't the case, though. His friend was the one that assumed hosting duties, so OP was free to come and go as he pleased. He wanted to dance, so he danced. Hell, he even offered his first dance to the 10. She declined. Her loss. P.S. Whether or not the girl was truly a 10 doesn't really matter. OP had a good night and wanted to share th…
/r/seduction31/08/15 02:53 PM
1

No, don't lie. How did the question come up? Was there an awkward silence after you answered?
/r/seduction31/08/15 02:24 AM
144

How to pick up a 10: Pick up 20 other girls right in front of her. Good work
/r/seduction30/08/15 10:39 PM
1

"River rafting" and "mountain climbing" just don't seem to go very well with "urban". If it's within an hour drive, I can see how it would work for you as a third date or something, but I wouldn't consider something on that scale for a first date. For most of us, we'd have to sset aside a whole weekend and travel to an appropriate place, so it would only be a good idea for a girl you've been with awhile.
/r/seduction27/08/15 07:49 PM
2

This is in response to a direct question from her? Are we talking about during or before a first date? Your answer sounds fine. Your honest answer sounds good. It emphasizes your short term happiness while also mentioning that you're not afraid of long-term commitment if the situation is right. A woman who's looking for something substantial will be very happy to hear it. If you want to add a little more emphasis to the long-term, I would drop the word "sexual". Specifically mentioning sex that …
/r/seduction26/08/15 06:11 PM
1

Kino, kino, kino, kino, kino, kino. If you're not touching her in increasingly intimate ways, she's not going to feel an intimate connection. A lot of girls will readily have sex with you on the third date, but ya gotta work up to it. Even those take things slowly will still want to make out by then. They want the physical connection. It's the whole freakin point of dating. She already has friends she cant talk to and hang out with. It's the intimacy that she's after.
/r/seduction26/08/15 03:05 PM
4

OP, it's ok if some people don't like you. Just don't break shit and put it back where you found it. Geoffrey will get over it.
/r/seduction26/08/15 02:47 PM
3

Here are some date ideas for urban youngsters River rafting or mountain climbing. ಠ_ಠ
/r/seduction26/08/15 02:45 PM
2

Talk about whatever is on your mind. If getting high and watching South Park is all there is to you, then that's what you talk about. You're only ever going to connect with other lazy stoners, but if that's who you are, so be it. Hopefully you want to have a more interesting life than that, so get out there and do some more interesting things! You'll become a more interesting person, you'll have more interesting things to say, and you'll attract more interesting people. P.S. You can also improve…
/r/seduction26/08/15 02:34 PM
1

Posture. Eye contact. Tone of voice. Conversational skills, particularly "threading". Read the sidebar.
/r/seduction23/08/15 10:34 PM
1

So, seddit, what am i doing wrong? It could be anything. It could be many things. Post a detailed FR of a single incident (or a couple similar incidents) and we'll give ya some detailed advice.
/r/seduction23/08/15 09:15 PM
3

You can all of the basic social skills that we talk about, except the more personal, overt forms of kino. Let DiCarlo be your guide there. You still need to get out and approach strangers, though. Platonic interactions will help give you a solid social basis, but ultimately, you'll need to start acting sexually if you want to have sex.
/r/seduction23/08/15 09:06 PM
2

tl;dw: It's the college version of the 3 second rule. Most people arrive timidly; set yourself apart by acting boldly from the get-go.
/r/seduction18/08/15 04:47 PM
0

Get out and meet new people now. You probably won't have much success because 1) you currently suck at this and 2) random people in random places aren't always open to meeting new people. That's ok, though, because this is just a pre-season warm-up exercise for you. You're just trying to get some practice talking to strangers and your fears will lessen when you see that failures aren't fatal. Then when you get to school, it'll be a cakewalk for you because you'll be meeting a ton of people that …
/r/seduction18/08/15 04:20 PM
1

mostly first dates, but I've had seconds, 6th dates and even 9-10 dates If you consistently getting stopped at a certain stage, that'd be a sign of a sticking point, but it sounds like you have a reasonable distribution. Are you advertising your qualities and intentions honestly? If not, you might be attracting women who aren't looking for what you're looking for. If you want to catch bass, you have to use bass bait.
/r/seduction14/08/15 02:23 PM
2

Most people tend to resort to interview-esque questions when the conversation lulls. It can get pretty boring. The point of 40 is to steer you towards the more interesting ways of steering a conversation.
/r/seduction09/08/15 10:15 PM
20

brownies for spontaneously approaching the next random girl that walks by. Her: "How many girls do you do this to?" Me (to the first girl): "All of them. Hold on a sec." Me (to a nearby girl): "Hi! This is _____. We just met. She's kinda into me, but she's worried I'm douchebag player. What do you think?" I'm not sure what would happen next, but it sounds like it'd be interesting one way or another!
/r/seduction06/08/15 07:43 PM
1

You probably won't find much direct feedback on this, but I think there's a strong parallel between what you're feeling and the typical approach anxiety that everyone here battles. You just have to push past it.
/r/seduction05/08/15 03:24 AM
2

To deprogram, you have to reprogram. To reprogram, you act contrary to the original programming and ignore all of the impulses that would drive you back towards it. With patience and persistence, the new pattern will (hopefully) sink in. tl;dr: Ignore the guilt and fuck away. Eventually the guilt will subside.
/r/seduction05/08/15 01:44 AM
1

Honestly, it sounds like your guilt is stemming from arrogance. It's almost like an inverted version of this song. She'll be perfectly fine without you. She isn't going to be ruined by the magnificence of your penis. She's going to enjoy her time with you and then she's going to enjoy her time doing whatever she does next; just like you will. She's not feeling guilty about anything, so why are you? As long as you're honest, everybody wins.
/r/seduction05/08/15 12:56 AM
2

That kind of limiting belief is holding you back far more than your stature. I'd bet my last dollar you would also improve your appearance by working on the things OP improved.
/r/seduction03/08/15 06:36 PM
1

No, you've been a beta the entire time; it's just that the breakup shone a giant spotlight on the problem. As others have said, you need to take some time to develop yourself as an individual.
/r/seduction03/08/15 05:25 PM
1

Then hire a psychoanalyst. We're here to foster self-improvement, not run scientific studies.
/r/seduction03/08/15 01:21 PM
7

That sounds like pretty much everyone here. You came to the right place. Welcome! Do you have any questions?
/r/seduction02/08/15 09:04 PM
2

I really need some help understanding how to keep my head up and not to worry about this Before you can be good at something, you have to suck at it for awhile. The faster you fail, the faster you'll get good. Think of each rejection as getting one step closer to the next "yes".
/r/seduction02/08/15 06:20 PM
3

Same as anywhere else, man: Approach. Approach. Approach.
/r/seduction02/08/15 06:15 PM
1

If you see the same people enough that they know about you even if they don't know really you personally, then yes, your reputation matters. But that doesn't mean you can't have a lot of sex. As long as you treat everyone with honesty and respect, what are they going to say about you? "red_hat4321 is a good guy and has lots of sex." I think I could sleep peacefully with that reputation. :)
/r/seduction02/08/15 06:14 PM
1

This kind of post should be in /r/askseddit/, but no biggie. The kid thing doesn't matter. Kids or no kids, adults like to fuck. You're right to be cautious about intoxication, but it's a festival... everybody's there to get a little crazy. She probably doesn't get out much anymore and over-did it a bit, she was probably itching to get laid even before she started drinking. Her friend probably would have cock-blocked you if it was just the alcohol talking.
/r/seduction02/08/15 06:08 PM
1

It mostly comes down to understanding that it's ok to let her have the last word. If her last comment doesn't contain a question, do you have to respond? No, probably not. If you want to continue the conversation, there's probably something in her last response you can engage, but you don't have to.
/r/seduction02/08/15 04:58 AM
2

Don't spend too much time reading. Get out and practice; that's where your real growth will come from.
/r/seduction01/08/15 11:35 PM
3

/r/sex/ has a ton of good material.
/r/seduction01/08/15 11:31 PM
3

being coldly ignored makes me feel like I am a bad person or something. How you feel about something is up to you, not them. A quiet disappearance is normal when a flirtation fizzles out. Stop making it into more than it is. what happens when we eventually run into each other again? You treat her as any other acquaintance: greet her politely. If you want to chat with her, go for it. If not, go on with your day.
/r/seduction01/08/15 10:02 PM
2

I'm probably an extremely logical guy so I struggle to believe you can just be of value inherently. Everyone is a mix of virtues and vices. You can only "value" people if you come up with a way to quantify each person's virtues and vices, but there's no objective way to do so. With that in mind, you can either conclude that everyone has inherent value or nobody has inherent value. Either way, you'll stop seeing everything in black & white and you'll stop trying to figure out whose gray is grayer…
/r/seduction01/08/15 03:24 PM
2

David Wygant speaks eloquently on this mindset. Ya know how low level politicians go door to door chatting up everyone? "Hi, I'm _____. I'm running for mayor." He calls it being "mayor of your own life." Get to know everyone you bump into.
/r/seduction01/08/15 03:08 PM
14

In general, you should be focusing your attention on women who don't have an economic incentive to be nice to you, but if you want to ask her out, go ahead and ask her out.
/r/seduction01/08/15 03:05 PM
3

Do you feel better having gotten that off your chest, buttercup? I gave a simple way for beginners to get a set up a date and get a number. There are lots of other ways and your way may even be better. (I didn't bother to read it.) But who cares? Beginners need to start somewhere and combining the date and phone number in one quick exchange is very easy on the rookies psychologically.
/r/seduction01/08/15 02:49 PM
2

There's about a 40 year age range that I'll happily date in, but "age is just a number" is bullshit. Age is a very good indicator of the person's stage of life. There are very big differences in mindset between women who are: in high school in college trying to climb a career ladder wanting kids and/or marriage has young kids and/or divorced has adult children Date whomever you want, but it's silly to pretend they're all the same.
/r/seduction01/08/15 01:05 PM
4

Okay to whom? If you want to keep the friendship, you're gonna need the friend's blessing. If you're asking What Would Jesus Do, ask your pastor for advice. If you just want to sleep soundly, let your conscience be your guide.
/r/seduction01/08/15 05:22 AM
4

The question came up earlier and I thought a visual would help show just how freaking easy it is to casually get her number.
/r/seduction01/08/15 12:46 AM
3

Nah, it could always be fake. Measure her interest by the effort she puts into spending time with you and how much she seems to enjoy it.
/r/seduction31/07/15 08:42 PM
12

It means you have a way to contact her after you part ways. It doesn't mean shit in regards to attraction, but it's very important logistically.
/r/seduction31/07/15 05:32 PM
1

You mean if you haven't seen her in a couple weeks? Maybe dial it down a level briefly, but for the most part, once you've been touching at a certain level, you can continue at that level.
/r/seduction31/07/15 04:58 PM
26

Sounds right to me. It's infinitely better than not asking at all! ;-)
/r/seduction31/07/15 04:51 PM
3

You start right away with the Class 1 stuff. You can do that shit with everybody, any time. Even your grandma. You're just the "touchy feely guy". For the women you like, just slowly work your way up the ladder. If they're not comfortable with they'll stop you, so you don't have to worry about looking for signs to continue. Just proceed optimistically and respect their decision if they happy to distance themselves from you or stop you altogether.
/r/seduction31/07/15 04:48 PM
4

You've got the right idea, but your timeline is off a bit. Read DiCarlo. Touching hands and whatnot should happen very, very early in the interaction. By the time you're both ready for a kiss, touching hands should be a non-event.
/r/seduction31/07/15 04:01 PM
2

You'll always be changing. You'll probably settle on a few core values at some point, but even those could easily change if something happens to change your perspective on life. The simple fact of the matter is that you're not "fully matured" until you're six feet under.
/r/seduction29/07/15 08:13 PM
2

Confidence and security don't depend on certain milestones. Every life consists of an arc where skills improve and then deteriorate. If you're only happy with your during your "prime" (however you define it), you're going to waste a lot of precious time. If you're going to measure yourself, make your measurements relative to your life stage. As long as you're developing at an age-appropriate rate, you should be completely secure and confident in who you are at that time. Hell, even if you're beh…
/r/seduction29/07/15 07:43 PM
24

Oneitis is bad at any age and they definitely shouldn't spend a single second worrying about routines and other crutches. But the basic principles are important to anyone old enough to be interested in romance. Learning the principles at that age is what every teenager should be doing. It's literally how people "play" at that age. Many of them will figure things out on their own, but as we all know very well, there are many more that could use some mentoring.
/r/seduction29/07/15 07:29 PM
1

Yeah, don't take it personally. It's impossible to be good at everything and it just so happens that social skills are one of your weaknesses. I was the same way. The first step is towards improvement is doing an honest self-assessment. The second step is to chart a course. The third step is to start walking towards the goal. Go for it! You'll do great. In a few years, you'll telling stories about how socially inept you used to be and people will eat that shit up because they never would have gu…
/r/seduction29/07/15 03:39 PM
8

ive been crushing on this girl for about a year now Forget about her. You've been screwing it up for a year now and even if you muster the courage to do something different, you're still probably going to screw it up due to a lack of experience. And even all the stars align and you do end up dating her, its probably not going to work out, because the vast majority of relationships don't work out. Ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs. If you want a healthy dating life, you gotta stop making this about he…
/r/seduction29/07/15 03:18 PM
1

Something, something glass houses. If you re-read the conversation, you'll see that you tossed out a series of ridiculous strawmen. You even invoked the KKK, for crying out loud. I gave you the benefit of the doubt for as long as I could. Good night.
/r/seduction29/07/15 03:20 AM
1

Are you saying that if you're attracted to someone, you can't be interested in what they're like as a person? Sure. If that's how bad your reading comprehension is, let's just leave it at that and call it a night. The length of a conversation has no bearing on whether or not she's going to like you. Great! In that case, I'll go with 1 second long conversations and then skip straight to sex. This'll be great! I mean seriously, socially unacceptable flirting? Yes, there is tremendous pressure on w…
/r/seduction29/07/15 02:54 AM
1

Well I kind of am interested in the conversation. That's nice and all, but how many conversations do you have with fat and ugly girls? Old women? Random guys? They're all equally likely to provide good conversation, but I'm willing to be they represent a minority of your approaches. That's a good indication that sexual relations are by far your dominant motivator and you should be able to acknowledge that since you spoke at length about how men need to understand that there's nothing wrong with …
/r/seduction29/07/15 01:05 AM
2

That's why some guys feel so gut-wrenchingly awful at the idea of just openly asking a girl out "Some"?? It's an freaking epidemic. You can create a layer of abstraction and call it an emotional problem if you really want, but the bottom line is that somehow, some way, social skills are learned as we age and a large majority of males in our society are not learning some very important skills. If you want to attack what you perceive as the source of that problem, bless your heart, but I for one a…
/r/seduction29/07/15 12:54 AM
5

If you spend any time around young children, you quickly realize that we're born with essentially zero social skills. We're born with the ability to recognize some basic facial expressions and tones of voice, but that's about it. At some point you had to learn when to use your inside voice, your outside voice, your "Well, hello there, sexy devil" voice, and your breathy "I'm gonna fuck the hell out of you" voice. You probably can't pinpoint when or how you learned those skills, but you did learn…
/r/seduction28/07/15 11:31 AM
9

Why do you feel compelled to disguise your true intentions with feeble pretenses? How I approach: "Hi my name is X I thought you were cute/adorable/beautiful/whatever and I just had to talk to you" Why stop there? You're not really interested in the conversation. Tell the truth, "Hi, my name is x. I think you're beautiful and would like to fuck you. It doesn't have to be now, but hopefully by the third date." Hopefully you understand that there aren't many situations where that would generate a …
/r/seduction28/07/15 10:56 AM
1

Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine. It's just that I'm new to boating, so there are probably a couple "Don't forget to _____" type bits of advice that someone with more experience could probably offer. I'll figure it all out one way or another, but I usually like to learn from other people's mistakes instead of making them all myself! :-)
/r/seduction27/07/15 09:03 PM
1

Don't add people you don't know. Instead, ask your mutual friend to introduce you. Organize a group outing and have your friend invite her friend.
/r/seduction27/07/15 05:15 PM
-6

Yeah, can you imagine living in a world where the first post had useful tips instead of a joke? That would be horrible!
/r/seduction27/07/15 05:12 PM
7

Dude, you look good. If you want to get ripped, go for it, but for seduction purposes, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. You're just being insecure. Very insecure, actually. If this continues to be a problem, you should talk to a therapist. Body image issues like this can lead to some very damaging decisions.
/r/seduction27/07/15 02:46 PM
-2

No ocean. She'll be able to swim to shore if she wants to. =P
/r/seduction27/07/15 01:49 PM
52

You can definitely do it, but understand that if/when shit goes sideways, it might lead to a lot of drama. If it's a job you care about, it's probably not worth it. If it's just a McJob, go ahead and fuck her brains out.
/r/seduction27/07/15 03:16 AM
1

Yeah, but you have to remember the context. Every single guy in this community came here to address a serious lack of social skills. Neediness is pretty much a given, at least in the beginning.
/r/seduction24/07/15 12:35 PM
128

Step 1: Realize there's a problem. Step 2: Read the side bar. Steps 3 through 100: Get out and practice.
/r/seduction22/07/15 03:52 PM
2

No, the tips are pretty much universal. The only difference is that once you click with someone, you just keep dating her and at some point you agree to stop dating other people. It's not magic.
/r/seduction22/07/15 03:50 PM
2

If you want to do it and she wants to do it, go ahead and do it. If you don't want to do it, say "Change of plans. Let's do ________ instead."
/r/seduction21/07/15 03:32 PM
5

How to stay alpha? The ultimate goal though is a relationship. The ultimate goal is to live a happy, fulfilling life. Relationships are just one part of that. Just keep improving and enjoying yourself. The rest will take care of itself.
/r/seduction21/07/15 01:17 PM
9

Both extremes are bad. Balance is good.
/r/seduction13/07/15 12:55 AM
2

He looked right at the parents and gave a group greeting. How is that not engaging them? He could have gone all Eddie Haskell, but he certainly didn't ignore them. He greeted the daughter with a handshake, which is literally the tamest form of Kino there is. How does that scream "sex"? The only way he could have gone in on a lower key would be if he made up some bullshit excuse to make it seem like his intent was platonic. That's typical AFC. shit, though. The fact that he conveyed romantic inte…
/r/seduction11/07/15 05:25 AM
4

What? Where did you get that? He was polite and confident. The prototypical "nice young man" that any parent would wish for their daughter. Unless they're crazy over-protective, they wouldn't discourage her from texting him. Normally, I'd discourage guys from giving a number because it shows weakness, but in this case, the whole approach was bold enough that it may have worked.
/r/seduction10/07/15 10:51 PM
6

2 minutes? Yeah, that's long enough to kill the moment. Next time just ask for help and then practice when you're just laying around chilling.
/r/seduction03/07/15 11:35 PM
1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rN6FwGTfx2c tl;dw: Interact with a lot of people. Spread the fun. By the time you pick a target, she'll already be pretty warmed up to you. Escalate accordingly.
/r/seduction03/07/15 08:05 PM
1

You start by realizing that everyone is going to have at least one habit that annoys you. You're probably even annoyed by some of your own habits. With that in mind, don't treat something as a deal-breaker unless it's actually a deal-breaker. Look past the turn-offs for awhile and get to know her as a whole person. If you're happy with her whole self, keeping right on looking past the turn-offs.
/r/seduction03/07/15 08:00 PM
7

You can show vulnerabilities and still hold your frame. In fact, it takes a really strong man with a really strong frame to acknowledge his imperfections while still being happy with his whole self.
/r/seduction03/07/15 07:09 PM
167

This is all well and good, but it doesn't matter much. By the time she's comfortable letting you remove her bra, she likes you enough to ignore a little clumsiness. So for all you guys who are still having trouble even meeting women, don't worry about this shit. Get out there and approach. Eye contact. Smile. Escalate kino. That shit needs to be second nature before you even spend a second worrying about bras.
/r/seduction03/07/15 06:53 PM
11

I'm not going to change who I am just so I can be with someone. The only thing you have to change is your unwillingness to go out and meet women. No matter what quirks and neuroses you happen to have, there are women out there with the complementary quirks and neuroses. But you have to get out there and find them, because they ain't gonna come to you. honestly, I'm more interested in having kids PM me your address. I'll send you any extras that I end up with. ;-)
/r/seduction03/07/15 04:48 PM
5

women apparently aren't attracted to someone that is honest about their weaknesses, doubts, anxieties etc. The hell they aren't. That's like saying guys aren't attracted to girls who like sports. Women love tending to each other's emotional needs and they love it when they meet a guy who can communicate on that level. The problems start when you're consumed by your fears. Nobody wants to be a full-time babysitter. If you're routinely pulling on her for emotional support, you become that girl alw…
/r/seduction03/07/15 04:43 PM
1

Say whatever you want. You'll probably be awkward and screw it up,but that's ok. Your goal here is to knock off the rust. If by some miracle, you happen to actually get the girl, that's just a nice bonus. P.S. Meet 10 other girls too.
/r/seduction01/07/15 03:16 AM
2

I have 0 friends where I live. Fix this. If you don't, it'll drag down your entire social life, including your relationship.
/r/seduction30/06/15 05:23 PM
2

I AM ABOVE HER. I want to show her this so that she realises. Everyone is a mixtures of pros and cons. How we measure ourselves depends entirely upon how we rank our priorities and it is generally very different from how other people measure themselves. If she gave two shits about your measuring system, she would notice where she ranked on it and she would be actively trying to improve her ranking. But she doesn't care. Trying to change her worldview is a fool's errand, especially since there ar…
/r/seduction29/06/15 04:27 PM
1

Upvote for thinking independently, but downvote for delaying life. There will always be an excuse to postpone happiness in favor of career development. It's much better to seek a balance.
/r/seduction28/06/15 07:32 PM
2

Every age has its pros and cons. You're going to experience them all anyways, so there's really no sense in comparing them. Just wake up each day and make the most of it.
/r/seduction28/06/15 07:26 PM
16

Except that it's not the same 1000 women every month. People (especially the good ones) are in and out of relationships all the time. By the time you've sampled the thousand good prospects, there'll be a completely different thousand available.
/r/seduction28/06/15 07:12 PM
15

Assume attraction. Open a conversation. It's impossible to read a person based on one simple action, but if you engage, escalate, and pay attention, you'll soon know exactly how she feels.
/r/seduction26/06/15 04:13 PM
1

It's summer, so yes, it's normal for people to travel. It's also common for people to use a nugget of truth as a way to let people down easily. The bottom line is that if she likes you, she'll make time for you. If she doesn't, she won't. The stated readings don't really matter.
/r/seduction24/06/15 05:20 PM
2

Dont yell out the punchline to their own personal joke - they already know that punchline. That's the joke she is telling. Tell your own joke. Well said
/r/seduction24/06/15 01:40 PM
2

He's not wrong, but there's nothing remotely novel about it. Teasing is the OG of flirting.
/r/seduction24/06/15 12:52 PM
2

Obviously i wont just start telling my experience with a certain movie. Why not? It's ok to switch topics without a segue. If your father died, would you sit quietly until someone mentioned death so you could say, "Speaking of death..."? Of course not. Your thoughts are just as important as anybody else's, so if there's something you want to talk about, go ahead and talk about it! If it's something important, you can even cut them off mid-sentence and they'll understand. tl;dr: Segues are great,…
/r/seduction24/06/15 12:37 PM
25

All the more reason you shouldn't be blowing up her phone. Why would you put so much effort into someone you haven't even met? I guarantee she ain't sitting there worrying about whether or not you'll still be attracted to her in a week. She can have all the attention she wants when you're actually together, but in the meantime, you're a busy man with important things to do. Continue on with your life.
/r/seduction23/06/15 06:24 PM
26

3 or 4 days? You don't need to do anything over such a short time period. Kids with no responsibilities might be able to do everything on a whim, but it's perfectly normal for adults to schedule things a few days in advance. I have an insanely flexible schedule for an adult, but even I have a pretty good idea what my week is gonna look like. Just lie low and give her the gift of missing you. A few days of anticipation will build more attraction than any witty texts you might come up with.
/r/seduction23/06/15 05:48 PM
18

Have fun over-thinking it.
/r/seduction23/06/15 02:19 PM
3

There's nothing to figure out. Just start/keep dating them, having fun, and escalating kino.
/r/seduction23/06/15 11:26 AM
1

It was fine. The only thing I'd suggest is that it's often better to tell a quick story on your subject of choice before (or instead of) asking a question about it. When "movies" pops into your head, just tell her about the movie you're thinking about, mention why you find it interesting, and then see what she thinks about it. But that's all just a bonus. Asking about it is perfectly fine. If she's at all interested in you, it'll give her something to work with and the two of you will eventually…
/r/seduction22/06/15 10:15 PM
1

What's there to cringe about? It's not your fault the conversation stalled. She is the one that's not participating. It's only cringey if you keep trying well after it's obvious that she's not interested. There's always a little bit of awkwardness in the first couple minutes, though, so there's nothing wrong with trying to push past that.
/r/seduction22/06/15 10:12 PM
2

"So what are you up to now?" "Not much" Sometimes people give closed answers to open-ended questions. When it happens, it brings the conversation to a complete halt and you're free to start it back up on literally any topic you can think of. If it keeps happening, she's either a horrible conversationalist or she's just not interested. Either way, you should politely exit and find someone new to talk to. P.S. Make sure that you don't make the mistake of giving closed answers. If someone tosses yo…
/r/seduction22/06/15 04:34 PM
2

If "movies" comes up to my head, i cant just jump into it. Why not? Most of the time a conversation will gradually flow from one subject to another, but abrupt jumps are fine too, especially when you're still trying to find your common ground.
/r/seduction22/06/15 04:31 PM
16

It's an easily invented story oozing with basic seduction concepts posted on a brand new blog (with ads) by a brand new redditor. Thanks for wasting five minutes of my life, /u/theladycool. Bring more to the table next time, please.
/r/seduction22/06/15 12:22 PM
1

She says she'll let me know how she's feeling that night. The next night, I text her "Feeling frisky tonight?" around 11pm. No response. She blew off two straight booty calls, so it sounds like you're barking up the wrong tree there. Back off a bit and give her some space. Then re-engage at a lower intensity level.
/r/seduction20/06/15 04:51 PM
1

After two years of reading this stuff I've only ever gotten a handful of numbers as I'm paralysed by AA and uncertainty. No amount of reading will help you with AA. Ya just gotta get out there and be social as often as possible. It doesn't even have to be specifically about sarging. Just get out there and meet new people as often as possible. You'll get more comfortable with the small talk and the initial awkwardness, which will help a lot.
/r/seduction16/06/15 02:21 PM
1

For me, I just continually remind myself that my life is proceeding well. I've accomplished a fair number of things for my age and I'm on a path of continual growth. That's the name of the game, right? If I know I'm doing well, it doesn't matter what Jane Doe 28673 thinks. If she expresses an opinion, she's not saying my life is bad; she's just saying it's not her cup of tea. That's ok; I probably don't like her tea either.
/r/seduction16/06/15 12:27 PM
1

Looks wise I'm like a 6-7 though That's plenty good enough. Chicks aren't anywhere near as visual as we are. It's your social skills that will make all the difference.
/r/seduction16/06/15 12:16 PM
2

in my opinion professional photographer makes you seem like your trying to hard but that's just me That's a confirmation bias. Most professional photos are in a standard pose inside a studio. It's obvious you went way out of your way to get the pic, so it comes off as tryhard. When done right, however, a professional photo looks the same as any other photo, except sharper with a better emphasis on you. The key is to get a natural pose in a natural setting. If you even bother to stop and think ab…
/r/seduction13/06/15 03:46 AM
6

I grab most of my pics from Facebook. There's usual a few a year that come out well and show me in a good light. If I really want to nail one, I hop on Craigslist and find an "aspiring photographer" to take some decent pics on the cheap. Just make sure to mix up the location and wardrobes so it isn't obvious that you took all the pics on one day. P.S. Get some friends.
/r/seduction13/06/15 03:36 AM
11

They wrote it down and they referred to it regularly. It's a focusing technique and it works quite well.
/r/seduction13/06/15 03:26 AM
3

Some people will discount you entirely, but so what? If you put a hundred people in a room, every single one of them will probably find something about you that they don't like and some of them will find a lot of things. They're not right or wrong; they just have personal preferences. The basics, however, are damn near universal. Get those down pat and you'll have enough success that you won't even notice the ones that are turned off small matters of style.
/r/seduction12/06/15 07:38 PM
7

Yeah I take comments like that pretty personally. Braces or no braces, you're gonna need to thicken your skin. Some people are rude.
/r/seduction12/06/15 07:27 PM
1

Basic grooming, body language, confidence, and social skills will dictate the level of attraction. Braces are completely irrelevant by comparison.
/r/seduction12/06/15 07:26 PM
2

"Don't approach women in public places"? "Be natural, let things flow"? Is that what counts as good advice on this sub these days? Good on you for opening some sets, OP! They weren't the least bit interested in you, but that's ok. You'll improve with practice. Keep at it, with a focus on improving your posture and body language.
/r/seduction12/06/15 04:07 AM
1

Cut down on the drinking. Going out every night is totally do-able as long as you can be productive in the day. Drinking heavily makes it just about impossible.
/r/seduction27/04/15 12:58 PM
3

Sure, you'll have bad parties, Bonus: If you start taking the initiative, you'll eventually learn how to identify a bad party as it's taking shape and fix it (or bail) before it gets horrible.
/r/seduction27/04/15 12:56 PM
1

As he gave it to us...I don't see it. True, but that's only because he didn't actually tell us the story. He just told us the headline. A story with that much punch is interesting to anyone, anywhere as long as it's told properly. I would hope that when he's telling the story to people, he starts with, "Wednesday was an absolutely unforgettable day. This guy came in shortly after 2. He was tall son of a bitch, dressed just slightly better than a homeless guy. I couldn't see his eyes through his …
/r/seduction30/03/15 04:18 AM
2

Stories generally work better if you build up to the punch line.
/r/seduction30/03/15 04:06 AM
2

You say you enjoy being being a homebody, but clearly you're craving at least one form of social interaction. It's sounds like you're not as reclusive as you like to tell yourself. If you want to focus your dating search on fellow homebodies, that's perfectly fine, but the only way you're ever going to meet anyone is by venturing out into the world. If you feel like you're not meeting enough of them, you'll need to venture out more often and/or become more effective.
/r/seduction17/02/15 06:05 PM
2

Am I the only one here that enjoys snacks while drinking? I'm in my 30s and by now I've been around enough pot to know that it can be in a cookie and I've been in enough bars to know that the legit snacks are almost always salty, so I'd probably connect the dots if I weren't too drunk yet, but really that's all beside the point. If you provide a drug of any kind to someone -- especially if it's in a covert form --, you owe it to them to give an honest account of what it is. Bad things happen whe…
/r/seduction19/10/14 08:43 PM
12

I am, but only because I'd love to read an actual tutorial.
/r/seduction16/10/14 03:03 AM
93

That's a highlight reel, not a tutorial.
/r/seduction16/10/14 01:53 AM
3

It depends on how things are going. If the interaction is rolling along, do not kill the momentum by starting introductions. Save them for there's a natural lull. "By the way, I'm ____________" can be dropped whenever it's convenient.
/r/seduction15/10/14 05:48 PM
7

This is a big deal, and if you refer to Marines as army you're going to open the door for someone to correct you and begin AMOGing you. It's a big deal to them, but in reality it's just an innocent mistake by an outsider. You can't possibly know every clique's bugaboos, so such mistakes are a bound to happen. You can't go into a set worrying about such things. As for the AMOGs, they're going to AMOG whether the door is open or not. You can't go around worrying about that either.
/r/seduction14/10/14 07:04 PM
4

I have a similar situation being at a small liberal arts college of roughly ~2000 people. That's a very different situation for two reasons: 2,000 people that are all in 7 year age range is equivalent to a town of about 25,000 people. It's a transient population; within a few years, everyone will have gone their separate ways. Small towns stick together for generations.
/r/seduction13/10/14 10:18 PM
1

The question was how to avoid getting a bad reputation while seducing women in a small town. "Leave the small town" is a rather unhelpful answer since it completely avoids the question and OP has almost certainly considered it already anyways. As with anything in life, certain things are out of your control and there will always be certain risks, but if OP treats everyone well and avoids the crazy ones, it really won't matter if people talk about him because they will generally have good things …
/r/seduction13/10/14 10:13 PM
2

Quality women are everywhere in large towns. They only seem "hard to find" because quality men are everywhere in large towns too. Small towns have a smaller supply, but there's also a less competition. It's a different environment, of course, and OP should feel free to explore the nearest big city if that's his style, but there's no reason to be fatalistic about the small town. There are always options.
/r/seduction13/10/14 09:37 PM
17

You don't have to be in a big city to get laid. You just have to seduce women the same way you would if they were in your social circle, since the entire town is essentially in your social circle. As /u/knowledgewhore/ said, you use a subtler, more patient approach. You're going to see every girl countless times, so don't have to try to build attraction in 90 seconds like you do with random girls. You can do it a little bit at a time just by exhibiting good qualities wherever you go. As you buil…
/r/seduction13/10/14 06:20 PM
1

There are millions of women dating guys that can't even provide for themselves, let alone anyone else, so clearly the situation is nowhere near as black and white as you're pretending. There are many factors that women find attractive and each woman prioritizes them differently. I'm interested in the women who care more about chemistry than coin.
/r/seduction08/10/14 03:42 PM
1

You win some, you lose some. Good job on the approach. Keep it up!
/r/seduction08/10/14 04:40 AM
1

Facebook is lame for dating; learn how to meet and flirt with girls in real life. If she has any sort of connection with that guy, waiting is unlikely to improve the situation. You should have asked this girl out weeks or months ago. Shit or get off the pot. You better be pursuing other girls while all of this is going on. Putting your life on hold for a girl you barely even know is a recipe for disaster.
/r/seduction08/10/14 04:37 AM
1

Everyone is awkward during their teens. It doesn't seem like it because you only ever compare yourselves to each other, but 30 year olds are constantly shaking their heads at all of you. There's a ton of good material floating around here. Read the sidebar and put it into practice as often as you possibly can. Just like anything else, your social skills will improve with practice.
/r/seduction08/10/14 04:33 AM
1

some of the advice is too forward in my opinion. Do you have an active dating life? If so, you might be right that the advice is too forward for the culture that you're in; everything has to be calibrated to the particular circumstances. If you're not happy with your dating life, why would you give any credence to your opinion? Who gives a rat's ass what the blind man thinks about a painting?
/r/seduction08/10/14 04:30 AM
1

The vast majority of it is already relevant to you and the rest will be relevant to you in the blink of an eye.
/r/seduction08/10/14 04:26 AM
9

"If you don't want a girlfriend, don't act like a boyfriend." If you act like a bf would, you're either going to have to sit her down for a heart-to-heart at some point, or you're going to have to deal with the explosion when she gets sick of the conflicting messages. If you act all along like a fun guy that just enjoys casual sex, you'll fuck fewer of them (because some of them won't be interested in that arrangement) but there will be fewer meltdowns because the girls that do sleep with you wi…
/r/seduction08/10/14 04:24 AM
6

I think he was just saying that men should spend more time with their kids, which is largely true. It definitely works as a solid DHV, but I'm not a big fan of flaunting my parental creds. By and large, the women that are most attracted to that seem to be the ones that are looking for a provider. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I could play that role and be married to a decent woman within a year or two. That's not what I want, though. If her favorite thing about me is that I can raise h…
/r/seduction07/10/14 07:35 PM
3

Yeah, it's not always as simple as we like to think. http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/wiki/index#wiki_erection_issues
/r/seduction06/10/14 04:37 PM
1

The friend was just there as a second pair of eyes in case OP was a major creep. As long as he came across as an ordinary guy, it really doesn't matter what the friend thinks.
/r/seduction04/10/14 09:26 PM
1

My rule of thumb for any rAFC: if the thought crosses your mind, it's time to act. Pretty much every guy here is here because he spends too much time ignoring his instincts.
/r/seduction04/10/14 08:25 PM
2

This goes completely against seddit's straightforward, direct, no-beating-around-the-bush, clear-intent approach. There's room for indirect approaches too. Once there's some attraction brewing, you need become fairly direct to get anywhere, but there are a million ways to handle the first couple minutes.
/r/seduction04/10/14 02:32 AM
4

would most people here still stand by the technique of telling a girl she's cute? Standard dogma is that you should compliment an aspect of her personality/style rather than her basic genetics.
/r/seduction04/10/14 02:30 AM
68

Her concern is fairly normal. Chicks always have a friend watching out for them during a first date, though it's usually just some sort coded conversation via text. You're young, she's probably inexperienced, and you don't have any mutual friends. She's being a little overly-cautious, but not completely crazy. I'd go out with them. Just keep it a short, upbeat date and don't pay a dime for either of them. If she's still pulling shit likes this for the second date, decline by explaining that you'…
/r/seduction04/10/14 02:23 AM
2

I like how you use words like "ever" and "run the risk" so that you minimize the risk of being incorrect. I use those words to indicate dating represents multiple events, making it a matter of statistics. Every single action anyone takes has a risk of being received poorly. Nobody is going to get it right every time. The only guys I knew who ever consistently creeped out women... Who said anything about "consistently"? OP cited a single instance of a guy rubbing a single girl the wrong way.
/r/seduction29/09/14 07:09 PM
3

Um, how do you go about "challenging, shocking, surprising", etc without ever missing the target? To be even the least bit interesting, you have to venture away from the safe cliches. When you do that, you run the risk of saying or doing something that she considers "creepy".
/r/seduction29/09/14 06:03 PM
4

Being creepy comes when your thought, words and actions aren't aligned That's one of just a thousand things that will get the "creepy" label thrown at you. Dress in an alternative style? That's "creepy" to some girls. Approach in a setting that most guys don't? That's "creepy" to some girls. Approach someone that's noticeably younger than you? That's "creepy" to a lot of girls. Like dark humor? That's "creepy" too. You can certainly do things to reduce how often people think you're "creepy", but…
/r/seduction29/09/14 05:57 PM
43

Like he said, the goal is to be polarizing. It's impossible to be everything to everybody and you'll come out very bland if you try. It doesn't matter that a lot of women might hate his profile; what matters is that some of the women (hopefully the ones he's attracted to) love it.
/r/seduction27/09/14 03:45 AM
2

If you can't think of anything specific, just invite her back to your place "for a nightcap." It generally involves one last round of drinks, but used loosely, it can mean just about anything.
/r/seduction26/09/14 04:23 PM
16

ending with a kiss. Don't wait til the end for the first kiss with a girl. It's so cliche and unnatural. If there's chemistry between the two of you, there'll be 20 better opportunities to kiss during the date. Just go ahead and kiss her whenever there's prolonged eye contact.
/r/seduction12/09/14 02:11 PM
8

Yes, it works both ways. If you dwell on the negative and hang around others that do the same, you'll feel sad a lot. If you'd rather feel happy most of the time, dwell on the positive and hang around others that do too. Your facial expressions, posture, thoughts, conversations, etc are all shaped by your mood, but they also affect your mood. This can cause a feedback loop where your mood either spirals up or spirals down. It can also be used to short-circuit a spiral if you force yourself to ac…
/r/seduction03/09/14 01:22 PM
1

You seem to be missing the simple fact that dating a ton of girls will help you settle down. I've spent most of my life settling for whatever broken woman happens to stumble into my life. By improving my game, I'm actually becoming able to meet and attract the kind of women that I'd actually want in my life. Eventually, I'll even attract one that I want to stay permanently. I'll fuck a lot of girls along the way and that's fun, but it's not why I'm doing it.
/r/seduction01/09/14 11:33 PM
13

If she was truly interested in me, wouldn't she tell me she'll text me when she's free to go? Maybe not. It's your event, so by old-school manners, it would be rude of her to invite herself to your event. If she had said, "maybe another time", it's probably a brush-off, but "in a few weeks" is plausible for a weekly event. It's worth throwing her a text. If she gives another vague answer, then you can be confident that she's not interested. I feel like I'm just being strung along. "Being strung …
/r/seduction22/08/14 04:36 AM
10

Yes, and it's been a standard part of seduction dogma for some time. They just gave it a catchy name and made a video.
/r/seduction22/08/14 04:27 AM
1

i have absolutely no clue. Hopefully someone with more experience can help you, but if not, just try random shit and see what works. The good news is that when you get the hang of it, it'll probably pay huge dividends for the rest of your game.
/r/seduction18/08/14 12:21 AM
1

Sure, hugs are good. Google the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder
/r/seduction17/08/14 07:53 PM
4

Same as always: escalate kino. The high-five is a start, so just keep progressing. How do I branch out and do other activities besides running with her? Just throw out invitations. Go get frozen yogurt after a run. Play video games together. Share a meal. Watch a movie. Invite her to join you for whatever it is you like doing. Just be sure to kino. she mentioned on the run when we got to a really scenic overlook that she'd like to have lunch up there. That's a colossal hint. Next time you see he…
/r/seduction17/08/14 07:19 PM
2

Four years is a meaningful age-gap at that age. It's a deal-breaker for some people. Some chicks only go after older guys. There's always some potential deal-breaker. The next girl might skip you because you have black hair and she only likes blond. Don't sweat it.
/r/seduction17/08/14 06:53 PM
0

I throw out a stupid name every now and then. It's just a simple way to mix things up. she stays so anonymous. On a random night out, she's pretty anonymous anyways. Without any additional information, even a full name isn't very useful. Do you realize how many Sarah Millers there are in any given metropolitan area?
/r/seduction17/08/14 06:32 PM
13

Is it weird to go out alone? It's fun to be surrounded by people you enjoy and the easiest way to accomplish that is by bringing people you enjoy. That's what most people do and if they can't round up a group of friends to go out, they just stay at home, even though they really want to go out. You can do better than that. You realize that club is already full of fun people, so you don't need to bring friends any more than you'd need to bring sand to the beach. Open (warm-up) sets as soon as you …
/r/seduction17/08/14 06:27 PM
5

Patient: "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." Doctor: "Stop doing that." Make changes. If you need help to make those changes, get help.
/r/seduction17/08/14 06:14 PM
1

I never was good at direct (indirect with escalation has always been my speciality), and to be honest I'm not even sure how to be direct without knowing the language. There's your answer. Indirect game requires language; direct game is universal. Work on it. You have nothing to lose.
/r/seduction17/08/14 04:57 PM
1

It's not about being pushy. It's normally for people to have basic ground rules about how they expect themselves and their property to be treated. If you adopt a mindset that you're teaching her those ground rules, it's all pretty easy. A simple mention of, "You can put your shoes over here" as you do the same will send a simple and effective message that that is how you do things. Note: this same concept extends well beyond home etiquette.
/r/seduction15/08/14 11:44 PM
1

Those are all nice things to do, but it's all pretty white knighty. There are a lot of damsels out there to be picked up that aren't in distress.
/r/seduction15/08/14 11:27 PM
3

She could and some women do, but it's the exception, not the rule. There aren't many single moms living on easy street.
/r/seduction11/08/14 09:44 PM
11

At a theme park? Yeah, it is. I'm willing to bet he was the only person in the entire place that was sitting around reading instead of enjoying the attractions. He undoubtedly stuck out like a sore thumb which caught the eye of his target audience and drew her right to him. What he did was essentially peacocking for bookworms and it worked perfectly.
/r/seduction08/08/14 03:51 AM
18

There's always an element of luck, but the moral of the story is that OP threw his freak flag in air and a fellow freak saw it. Had he been less comfortable in his own skin, he probably would have spent the day trudging around the park, surrounded by people that were on a totally different wavelength.
/r/seduction08/08/14 03:20 AM
1

Any tips on building comfort? Slower kino, more conversations about her family, ambitions, etc.
/r/seduction14/07/14 05:07 AM
1

Sure, if that's your thing. Vaginas are nice too, though.
/r/seduction10/07/14 05:35 AM
1

my mind puts all girls in a pedestal. It tells me these girls are superior to me. Why would they want me? Fuck that shit. Who she chooses is her problem. The only girls you're ever gonna get with ae the ones that choose you. If some girl chooses you, are you going to talk her out of it? Hell no. Who cares about coulda/woulda/shoulda. If she chooses you and you choose her, fuckin' stick your penis in her vagina already.
/r/seduction10/07/14 03:38 AM
1

maybe i can learn to lead with woman and show my intentions You can. If you're pretty passive anyways, you can be sure that they're already a step ahead of you. If your slow ass is thinking, "I should touch her boobs", you can be damn sure she's thinking, "why hasn't he grabbed my boobs yet??" If something crosses your mind, just go ahead and do it. If you're naturally slow anyways, that's all it takes to be a "leader".
/r/seduction10/07/14 03:33 AM
1

It comes down to very subtle things like the setting, the duration of the eye contact, your body language, your facial expression, her level of attraction to you, and what you do next. There's a delicate balance between creepy and good, but unfortunately, there's no formula for any of it. It's just something you have to learn through trial and error. It's a process known as "calibration".
/r/seduction09/07/14 06:28 AM
2

If by "submissive", you mean you're passive and you wait for everything to come to you, you're probably gonna have a bad time. Maybe you'll end up in the right place at the right time for the right woman to drag you into the bedroom, but you'll be much more likely to meet quality women if you learn how to lead an interaction. Even if you choose to be passive most of the time, you should still know how to lead when the situation calls for it.
/r/seduction09/07/14 06:22 AM
5

If by "submissive", you mean you're passive and you wait for everything to come to you, you're probably gonna have a bad time. Maybe you'll end up in the right place at the right time for the right woman to drag you into the bedroom, but you'll be much more likely to meet quality women if you learn how to lead an interaction. Even if you choose to be passive most of the time, you should still know how to lead when the situation calls for it.
/r/seduction09/07/14 06:22 AM
6

If you're a noob and can't play off the rejection in a cool way then don't try this, you will probably make the situation awkward as hell. You'll never get past noob status if you're afraid of awkwardness. It'll happen from time to time, especially when you're first learning. It's not a big deal.
/r/seduction08/07/14 06:02 PM
1

I just went through the same thing recently. My head wasn't in the right place, so i wasn't on top of my game. She noticed and started worrying about it, so then her head wasn't in it, which I could obviously see. I don't want to fuck a girl that's not into it, so that just killed my mood even further. I was with her, so we tried again at various times, but the sex never got above "almost mediocre". It's a damn shame too, cuz shit was crazy hot at the beginning. Fuckin' death spiral. Sometimes y…
/r/seduction28/06/14 03:19 PM
4

the balancing act between thinking about closing (outcome dependence) Having a preferred outcome in mind is not the same as depending on the preferred outcome. Whenever you shoot a basketball, you want the ball to go in the hoop; the question is whether or not you're going to get bent out of shape if you miss.
/r/seduction25/06/14 01:50 PM
0

First date can be anything that gives you two a chance to interact. Just throw out an invite with a simplified version of the truth. Something along the lines of "I'm going birthday shopping for my nephew tomorrow. Wanna come with?" It's basically true and there's no way she'd get weirded out by it.
/r/seduction24/06/14 09:38 PM
1

It's not a matter of is there rapport, so much as how much rapport. If you're asking a girl to fly to Vegas with you, she's gonna need to be really comfortable with you. Happy hour drinks on a Tuesday? With a couple basic precautions, it's no riskier for her than any other trip to the bar, so she'll go out with anybody as long as she's interested and has time.
/r/seduction24/06/14 04:51 PM
42

I used to go to crowded places and just stay there... alone... doing nothing for hours That doesn't sound very introverted. That sounds like a guy who craves social interaction, but doesn't know how to get it. Stop labeling yourself; it's very limiting. Just keep working on your social skills. I did it! It's not successful be at least I tried. Attaboy! That's a win. You can't control the outcome, so never mind that part. You did what you could, so those were both successful approaches. Go do som…
/r/seduction23/06/14 05:11 PM
2

It was a good conversation. Just be careful not to become a "dancing monkey". It's great to be funny, but you have to mix in some seriousness too. Otherwise, there's no real connection developing; it's more like she's at an improv show. It's fun while it lasts, but she's not going to give you a second thought after the show is over. And once she's warmed up, go ahead and set up the date. You don't want a pen pal.
/r/seduction23/06/14 03:33 PM
2

Do the approach that way if you want, but realize that that's not a scalable way to go about it. Most of the time, you're not going to know where a girl is going to be at a particular time, so you just have to wing it. You'd be better off just going to the mall or something and saying hi to a random girl there. And then another. Then another. It'll take 20 approaches before you stop being horrible at it and it'll take 100 before you actually get decent. It takes practice, just like any other ski…
/r/seduction23/06/14 03:00 PM
6

Attaboy. Keep at it. Talk to everyone. Like anything, it takes practice. The more you do it, the better your autopilot gets.
/r/seduction23/06/14 03:47 AM
1

What do drinks have to do with anything?
/r/seduction20/06/14 12:13 AM
2

Different women like different types, so don't worry about molding yourself into some sort of archetype. Just take who you naturally are develop that. Whatever your strengths are, play to them. Whatever your weaknesses are, try to improve them. And most importantly, don't be afraid to crash and burn.
/r/seduction19/06/14 08:08 PM
2

Outcome independence in plain language: "The attitude dictates that you don't care if she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean, whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'."
/r/seduction19/06/14 07:59 PM
12

I can't directly relate because I only talk about my involvement in the seduction community in general terms such as "working on improving my social skills". There are a few people that know exactly what I'm talking about, but they're all guys that have at least dabbled with it, so they're supportive. In general, though, when you're teased about something, just go ahead and own it. When the teasing starts, agree and amplify. Play along with and make a few of your own, all while wearing a huge sh…
/r/seduction19/06/14 03:14 PM
6

The second date we went to the movies, a terrible idea right? There's nothing wrong with going to the movies on subsequent dates if you two like movies. Once you have a connection, you guys can do anything you want. It's just horrendous for first dates.
/r/seduction19/06/14 04:01 AM
2

Spontaneous dates are a lot of fun and can be used to great effect. They're usually referred to as "insta-dates". The logistics get in the way a lot of the time, though. If you both have well-rounded lives, you'll usually need to plan ahead to avoid scheduling conflicts.
/r/seduction16/06/14 06:05 PM
2

Alex has a point. It's entirely possible she has a legitimate scheduling conflict. There might be an impromptu family gathering taking shape and it's perfectly understandable that it would take precedence over a first date with you. Or maybe she's just a bitch that's stringing you along in case her hotter date cancels on her. Either way, just be cool about it, go about your business, and let the chips fall where they may. No need to make snap judgments about her.
/r/seduction16/06/14 05:59 PM
1

Yeh that's great, so something similar, essentially, to what DarkNewton was saying in his comment? Yeah, pretty much. Also, shit, I've never thought to ask a girl out so casually. Why don't I ask her out like that all the time (option 2)? It's so much less needier no? Group dates are all well and good, but they should be saved for late. The point of a first date is to start getting to know each other and having more people around just complicates that. The point of involving your buddy is to a) …
/r/seduction16/06/14 05:52 PM
2

There are two perfectly reasonable ways to meet up with someone, whether male or female: either both parties set aside time for each other or both parties wing it. "Let's do something together at such and such time on such and such day." "Are you bored? Let's go do such and such." In your case, however, she's asking you to set aside time for when she's not willing to do the same for you. She's gonna drop you like a hot potato if her awesome dinner plans come together. That's not cool. You can't …
/r/seduction16/06/14 05:03 PM
1

I actually managed to fourth date then but still didn't feel a thing and screwed up, no, backed off. Perfect! That's exactly how you're supposed to do it. If you think it's possible she just had a bad day, give her another chance or two. You don't need to make snap judgments about people to avoid oneitis.
/r/seduction16/06/14 12:16 AM
5

Sex wise...I'll never know :-/ "You never know" was her way of keeping the door open. If she wasn't still interested in you, she would have politely agreed with you that the spark wasn't there. If you're still interested in her even a little bit, go on another date. She'll probably knows she was too reserved and will probably make an effort to bring more energy to the next one.
/r/seduction16/06/14 12:10 AM
1

If he think's she's boring Have you ever been on a date where you realized at the end of it that you didn't exactly show your best side? Maybe that's what happened here. There's no harm in giving a girl a second chance if you think there's still potential. she's clearly not that interested. If she keeps going on dates and she consents to progressively more intimate kino, she's interested. Period.
/r/seduction16/06/14 12:07 AM
2

No, a "cheap" person never would have fronted the money in the first place. OP went out on a limb and bought the tickets for expediency's sake. Had his date shown even the slightest interest in developing a relationship, he would have eaten the cost under the assumption that the girl would have likely returned the favor in some some way at some point. It appeared obvious to him through the course of the date that she wasn't interested in any sort of relationship, so it's perfectly reasonable for…
/r/seduction05/06/14 06:11 AM
2

I guess I should add I didn't really study her profile picture as closely as I could have. I'm horrible with faces, so when I add her digits, I always set her profile pic as the contact pic on my phone and put the URL to her profile in the contact info. That way I have a quick reference.
/r/seduction31/05/14 03:34 AM
9

She's a bartender... that makes her a mini-celebrity. She can't possibly remember everyone she meets, but lots of them remember her. She assumed this was another one of those situations.
/r/seduction31/05/14 03:32 AM
1

Even in a rush, get her number. AFCs like to give out their number because it saves them from the possibility of the girl refusing to give out hers. It's a weak move and women know it. She'll politely accept your number and then throw it away moments later.
/r/seduction19/05/14 01:36 AM
2

Girls don't make the first call. She'll politely accept your number and you'll never hear from her again. You get her number. Always. Men lead.
/r/seduction18/05/14 10:28 PM
4

Ugh, don't even entertain such notions. Unless you live in a tiny town, you aren't going to run into her again. That's why it's important to get a phone number.
/r/seduction18/05/14 10:27 PM
1

The distinction is whatever you want it to be. Nobody's forcing you to dance a certain way. If your sister went to the rave with you, what would you do? Just ignore her all night? Surely there's a way to enjoy the music without dry humping your friend. If your hypothetical platonic dancing style happens to be a bit out of place, that's a good thing because then it will be obvious to your target(s) that you're not just rubbing on anybody that'll let you.
/r/seduction07/03/14 04:08 AM
6

Then that's why the preselection isn't working out for you. If you're showing that you're sexually attracted to your friend, the audience is going to assume you're just another friendzoned AFC. Dance casually with your friends and save the heat for the girls you're gaming.
/r/seduction07/03/14 01:34 AM
6

"oh why not?" "That's just how it's always been. She's like my little sister."
/r/seduction07/03/14 12:39 AM
23

Only if he lost his sense of touch too.
/r/seduction07/03/14 12:36 AM
1

It's a good thing to work on. As you get the hang of it, move on to more advanced stuff.
/r/seduction28/02/14 07:23 AM
1

A round of drinks lasts approximately 15 minutes, so you're never more than 15 minutes away from a convenient opportunity to change venues. With cliches like dinner or a movie, you're locked in for a much longer interval. A venue change isn't about the availability of drinks; it's about the atmosphere. You want to go somewhere that has better music or has a dance floor or is quieter or has a pool table or trivia or a burlesque show or whatever.
/r/seduction26/02/14 06:48 PM
1

As long as you're meeting in a public place, there's no reason for her to be uncomfortable. The first 30 minutes is going to make or break the date, so you want to do something that makes it easy to improvise if things don't start off well. Sitting down at a restaurant basically locks you into a low-energy environment, which is the exact opposite of what you want. Drinks, on the other hand, come in 15 minute increments, so you can easily change venues if you sense the date stagnating. You can dr…
/r/seduction26/02/14 05:16 PM
1

So don't put yourself in such a situation. There are other seating configurations that are more conducive to seduction. Besides, why are you sitting down at a restaurant on a first date?
/r/seduction26/02/14 08:35 AM
1

You seem to be assuming a table with two seats on one side and two more on the opposite side. Don't use such tables. Instead: Bar-style where all seats face the same direction A round or square table with seats on all sides. Sit diagonally from her instead of across from her Why are you sitting down? Get up and do something active instead.
/r/seduction26/02/14 08:35 AM
5

You can be certain about something and still be wrong. You'll never be perfect, so quit worrying about it How do you propose to get your calibration "on point" without actually trying it in a real situation? Practice with your sister? What's the worst that can happen? She says "No! Ew!" and leaves? Big deal. If that's a major concern for you, your scarcity mindset and fragile ego are going to be a much bigger problems than any possible miscalibration when it comes to dirty talk.
/r/seduction15/02/14 03:13 PM
15

Nothing is 100% and any misread of the situation can send things south. You can't go through life afraid of such things. Calibration can only be learned through trial and error, gentlemen, so don't be afraid to make mistakes!
/r/seduction15/02/14 03:48 AM
1

Fair enough. I need the occasional kick, though, so you were right either way. Still... there's a tendency on this board (and I'm sure others as well) to ignore the legitimate practical difficulties of certain locations. I've yet to see a single bit of practical advice on how to adjust for lower density areas. Yes, there are plenty of single women in a 50k town, but where do you find them with any consistency? They're not in the cliche places in any meaningful quantity. I have a flexible schedul…
/r/seduction14/02/14 04:14 PM
1

Yeah, that's what I said too. Perhaps you didn't read my whole comment? Anyways, I'm always open to suggestions, so do you care to offer any practical advice or are you just here for the platitudes?
/r/seduction14/02/14 03:53 PM
1

A school of 5,000 is plenty considering they're all of similar age and packed tightly together at predictable times and places. A town of 50k is ok, but it's no picnic. That's actually about the size of my nearest decent town. There's a dating scene, for sure, but the town doesn't seem to have the critical mass for much in the way of day game. McDonalds and donut shops are the only places to get coffee, so nobody hangs out there. The mall isn't a hangout for anyone over the age of 16. It's freak…
/r/seduction14/02/14 03:47 PM
1

There are a lot of sparse areas in the Midwest too. You're right, though. Ya gotta take control of your lives, men. Move to a place that offers the kind of lifestyle you want. Unless you already have a kid. Don't abandon your kid.
/r/seduction14/02/14 02:47 PM
1

perhaps more vulnerable You meant more open-minded, right?
/r/seduction13/02/14 10:25 PM
5

Cute girls like to ski.
/r/seduction09/02/14 01:08 AM
1

This is my dilemma. I live in a smaller city (~100,000 pop) ::Sigh:: The city I'm trying to game in is only 50,000 pop and I have to drive an hour to get there. They don't even have a proper bookstore. I think there's a non-Dunkin Donuts coffee shop, but I haven't checked it out yet because I doubt there's much going on there; it's just not that kind of city. I'm happy to put in the work, but opening two girls per hour at Target is a straight up waste of my time and money. ::sigh::
/r/seduction16/01/14 06:56 AM
1

At this stage, it's the opportunities that I care about. I need to get reps and it's hard to get many without dedicating a massive amount of time to it.
/r/seduction16/01/14 04:14 AM
0

I'm in the north, so nobody is outside. It's a smaller city with no college crowd. The mall crowd is sparse and a little on the young side. I'd love to get some day game going, but I just don't see how I can. Am I just screwed until the parks open back up?
/r/seduction15/01/14 10:07 PM
38

For the same reason that you don't just offer your hand: they fear rejection. There are very few people that actually enjoy leading and taking social risks, but someone has to do it. Social customs place the burden on men, so the sooner you come to terms with it, the better.
/r/seduction01/01/14 10:28 PM
3

Your sentiment is valid and necessary, but lets not gloss over things. He is absolutely capable of having a solid dating life, but it's not dumb for him to ask the question. Stuttering will impact his aggregate success just like many other physical attributes that aren't glorified by society. It's silly to think he's better off than a tall, dark, handsome, rich, well-spoken guy. Instead, he should just stop worrying about things that are out of his control. Instead, he should focus on framing th…
/r/seduction31/12/13 05:24 AM
0

I think they're both accurate, though his choice certainly editorializes a bit. His editorial isn't wrong, though; I think if he had left it at "#-close at a gay bar", most readers would have made the wrong assumption.
/r/seduction15/12/13 01:40 AM
0

I'm completely non-judgmental, but the point of a title is to summarize the post. Hetero and homo pickups are of interest to different audiences, so it makes sense for the post to have a clear title.
/r/seduction15/12/13 12:52 AM
4

Don't sweat it. If she was DTF that night, she never would have mentioned the driving thing.
/r/seduction15/12/13 12:47 AM
2

Read DiCarlos, of course, but the short version is that if you're here, you're just plain not kinoing enough. Your subconscious knows what to do, but you've been overruling it for decades, so you don't have a clue. If you get the urge to touch someone, just go ahead and do it. You've been erring on the side of caution for far too long; it's time to start erring in the other direction. Just do it. Even when you fuck up, you're not going to get arrested. Get over your fears and learn by doing.
/r/seduction04/12/13 07:25 AM
2

The same way you ignore advice from an external source. You note it and disregard it. Think of it as trying to break a bad habit. The mechanics are incredibly simple, but it's difficult because it takes prolonged willpower and concentration. You have to put it at the top of the priority list and keep it there until you succeed.
/r/seduction29/11/13 01:43 AM
1

1 second it is, then. Whatever mindset you use, the bottom line is that you have to force yourself to do it and it's an incremental kind of thing. You and you alone control your eyes. You can stare at a clock, right? Then you can stare at her eyes too; it's purely psychological. If you truly can't even get that first second of eye contact, start with her hand. When you can look at a woman's hand for 30 seconds, level up to elbows. Then shoulders, chins, noses, and finally eyes. Every excuse that…
/r/seduction29/11/13 12:30 AM
1

Practice. Make a game of it. Don't worry about the smile at this point; it'll come naturally as you get more comfortable with the eye contact. 3 seconds is your record? Tomorrow try to reach 4 seconds. When you do, pat yourself on the back and start trying for 5 seconds. Then 6. Then 7. It's a video game and you're just going to keep advancing your high score until every woman you look at looks away first. When that day comes, you'll be well past your phobia and then you can worry about finding …
/r/seduction29/11/13 12:08 AM
6

You're absolutely right that you shouldn't tolerate poor behavior, but you shouldn't participate in it either. Take the high road. If your target is the one that acts up, just give her a look of disapproval and walk away. If it's her friend that's acting up, indicate to the target that she needs to get her friend under control if she wants you to stick around. "Is she always like this?" should get the job done most of the time. If the problem continues, isolate the target or just bail.
/r/seduction19/09/13 05:02 PM
6

By being angry and mean? Do you cuss out every spammer that sends you an email? Some girls behave that way because it's successful often enough to be worthwhile. Being mean won't change that; she'll just write you off as the asshole she once ran into. The behavior will only stop when the overall social dynamics change.
/r/seduction19/09/13 02:51 PM
3

Nobody in the history of the world as uttered the words, "Man, I wish that wedding speech had been longer." Unless you are blessed with incredible stage presence (in which case I doubt you'd be here), keep it simple and let everyone get back to the party.
/r/seduction16/09/13 04:25 PM
46

Absolutely. It should be noted, however, that you also need to be mindful of her desire for a certain amount of discretion. "Go for a walk" is a perfectly reasonable think to ask with an audience, but the boyfriend/kiss line probably would have blown up horribly if there were still other people around.
/r/seduction16/09/13 04:22 PM
0

leave everything at least as good as you found it. I don't have time to improve everything.
/r/seduction26/08/13 05:59 PM
6

Apparently she's had a crush on me for a while "Apparently" my ass. You knew intuitively that she was into you. That's why you went with such a direct approach. Keep embracing your intuition and you'll be just fine!
/r/seduction22/08/13 12:58 AM
26

this is why I think my friend molly helps me, because she really genuinely makes me so sincerely interested in people. Sorry but if it takes an altered state of mind to be interested in people, it's not a sincere interest. What's much more likely is that you're always sincerely interested in people, but you're generally too self-conscious to act on it. Molly, like most recreational drugs, lowers your inhibitions. You'll be better off in the long run if you learn how to lower your inhibitions wit…
/r/seduction17/07/13 11:04 PM
20

Emphasis on the R and D early on. F and O conversations are hard to keep interesting if you don't already know someone well.
/r/seduction14/07/13 04:18 PM
1

More hobbies. Oh, and get over the mental block about cold approaches. You've made thousands of cold approaches in your life, so you're full of shit when you tell yourself you can't do it. It doesn't have to be the high-energy club type approach. Just talk to everyone. As your conversational skills improve, you'll become more interesting and fun to be around, so more and more people will be make an effort to be around you.
/r/seduction13/07/13 05:34 PM
3

Right on. I figured it was probably a literal translation. It made perfect sense; it just struck me as interesting. Common phrasing in most of the English world (I think) would be one of the following: "Even if you only ask her for the time..." "Even if you only ask her what time it is..." Cheers to cultural diversity!
/r/seduction12/07/13 01:59 AM
5

how much the clock is Is that a phrase for asking the time of day? I've never heard that one. Where are you from?
/r/seduction11/07/13 07:52 PM
4

"Okay this girl hasn't shot me down yet, so she must want me." Obviously, it would be pretty stupid to think a social interaction is that binary. You still have to proceed on the assumption that she is (or soon will be) attracted to you. The girl isn't going to lead, so the only way to test the assumption is by acting on it.
/r/seduction28/06/13 08:02 PM
12

Virtually all seduction advice is based on the premise that the girl hasn't already blacklisted you. There's no sense in badmouthing good advice just because it doesn't work 100% of the time.
/r/seduction28/06/13 04:25 PM
2

Well done. Drink less. Keep at it!
/r/seduction22/06/13 08:19 AM
2

We make out and I finger her basically every time I see her, but I'm really stumped on what to write that will really step up my game with her. Touch her everywhere. Go for an excruciatingly slow build-up and she'll be primed for a major orgasm before you even slip the first finger inside. If you're fingering her for five minutes and she's still just softly moaning (as opposed to being on the verge of screaming), you jumped inside too quickly. Pull back five steps and start again slower. Edit: D…
/r/seduction11/06/13 06:38 PM
2

I know seddit is against complimenting as an opener No, seddit is against complimenting her DNA. Complimenting aspects of her personality (such as her taste in shoes) can work just fine as long as you calibrate properly.
/r/seduction11/06/13 05:50 PM
7

[In day game,] you're gonna have a harder time finding some commonality that'll lead to a better conversation Everyone has a ton in common with each other. The commonalities that you describe for night game are all well and good, but they're very superficial, so they're little more than crutches. Being able to find the deeper commonalities is simply a matter of refining your conversational skills.
/r/seduction28/05/13 05:10 PM
3

Try different variations... It's a silly routine, so making it "over the top" could work well.
/r/seduction20/05/13 11:14 AM
4

Delivery is (almost) everything Delivery is always (almost) everything. But, I also dislike OP's use of "field tested", so I kind of assume that he's not using this "routine" in a way that would make me laugh or result in my interest. Right, because practicing the routine is going to make his delivery worse...
/r/seduction20/05/13 11:12 AM
2

I figure nothing's going to happen, so I step out, and say goodbye. You might have been able to salvage it still. When you came out, you could have suggested a venue change: take her out for a walk, get a bite to eat, etc. Once you're away from her friends, you could start escalating again.
/r/seduction19/05/13 05:27 PM
2

Are you familiar with the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder? It has pretty much all of the details you can reasonably expect to write down. The "when" part just comes with experience. For AFCs, though, you can be pretty sure that the answer is "sooner than you think".
/r/seduction19/05/13 05:22 PM
1

He asked a vague, hypothetical question that's very much situation-dependent. He didn't like my general-purpose answer, so I advised him to seek out people who've already written thorough answers and then practice until he gets the hang of it. ::shrugs::
/r/seduction19/05/13 02:41 PM
-1

People write whole books on this stuff. If you don't know how to get a girl into your bed, there's no paragraph I can write that'll teach you. Read. Practice. Repeat as necessary.
/r/seduction18/05/13 11:08 PM
-1

Same way you get her to come with you from the bar: Raise her buying temperature throughout the night and then lead her to your bed.
/r/seduction18/05/13 05:47 PM
2

some ladies aren't too fond of doing the deed without comfortable showers around to wash up Post-coital skinny dipping.
/r/seduction18/05/13 04:40 AM
2

You don't even have to pre-arrange it. If you put your seduction skills to good use during the outing, you can get her to switch tents just as easily as you could get her to come home with you after a date.
/r/seduction18/05/13 04:39 AM
3

I'm sure this will be a nice addition to the community and all, but remember gentleman: there isn't a book in the world that can make up for a lack of in-field experience. If you've already spent a couple hours reading seduction material, it's time to step away from the keyboard and get some real practice!
/r/seduction17/05/13 02:26 PM
3

Right, that would usually qualify as not a socially acceptable way. Relationships generally build strength gradually, with both parties alternately investing a little at a time. When you dump everything early, it creates a huge imbalance that is hard to deal with.
/r/seduction13/05/13 02:33 PM
14

Google DiCarlo Escalation Ladder. It'll give you a detailed look at the progression. Don't sweat the "when" part. Newbies almost always go way too slowly, so if you think it's time to go to the next step, go for it.
/r/seduction28/04/13 03:47 PM
8

Everything is a numbers game to some degree. There's always some amount of chance and that chance can lead to a very wide range of results in a small sample size. You'll have more consistent results if you have a large sample size, which means more numbers. There's still plenty of room for skill, but you have to realize that nobody bats 1.000.
/r/seduction28/04/13 03:54 AM
11

"Prove you're not gay" is harassment too; she wouldn't have had a case.
/r/seduction23/04/13 11:25 AM
3

I want to get at least one number this time. Don't set outcome-based goals; you can't control the outcome, so you're bound to get frustrated at some point. Instead, set process-based goals. Make it your goal to ask 3 girls for their numbers. Asking is totally within your control and, more often than not, will lead to the outcome you seek anyways. Do you have any tips on approaching as a bartender? Be chatty with everyone. Be flirty with some. After your shift is over, mingle with the people that…
/r/seduction17/04/13 12:38 PM
1

This is very true. I'm celibate for the time being (not for religious reasons) and it's a whole lot of fun being the one that's holding back, especially if you're ok with giving her some foreplay; her buildup gets so intense that it takes next to nothing to push her over the edge.
/r/seduction17/04/13 12:30 PM
2

Open everybody. Work your way around the room.
/r/seduction17/04/13 12:25 PM
2

You're right that that's a challenge. Here's how you avoid it: Your number one priority should be to build that list, so you don't have time to see her twice a week; you're too busy opening new girls on the other days.
/r/seduction17/04/13 12:23 PM
1

But of the relationships I have with people, not all of them have the same value to me. Some relationships are worth more to me than others. And by extension, people whom I don't know have no value to me. Our relationship has no value, because there is no relationship present. Valuing relationships is an entirely different matter. Of course, your relationships are going to vary in importance to you. If I have high (social) value, I can affect other people's actions. Of course. I'm all for develo…
/r/seduction09/04/13 07:08 PM
1

I don't mind the substitution for treat & view. But ultimately it's actions that matter and have the most impact. Your actions are a function of your views. Why would you even bother judging someone if you aren't factoring those judgments into your behavior? Even if you're not doing it consciously, your judgments bleed out subtly in everything you do. The way to be super confident without being arrogant is to recognize that everyone is awesome in their own way, including you. To be clear, when I…
/r/seduction09/04/13 04:55 PM
7

Confidence is about how you treat view yourself. Arrogance is about how you treat view other people. FTFY. If you run around thinking you're superior to other people, you're arrogant. What the hell does that mean, anyways? How do you even begin to quantify someone, let alone do it accurately upon just meeting them? You certainly don't have to like everyone and you can choose your friends based on whatever characteristics you like, but it's incredibly arrogant to think you can objectively measure…
/r/seduction09/04/13 02:26 PM
2

Of course. There's nothing wrong with making stylistic decisions. You just have to be careful with your words in the presence of newbies; they're liable to get the impression that they don't need to expand their comfort zone.
/r/seduction08/04/13 01:38 AM
3

Ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable making that joke. It's probably some sort of sexual hangup and/or an excessive concern for what strangers think of you. Either way, you'll be better off if you resolve the underlying problem instead of working around it.
/r/seduction07/04/13 11:11 PM
2

It's unexpected, which is the primary component of all humor Everyone has been drinking, so the threshold for humor is low
/r/seduction07/04/13 10:01 PM
15

Shit-eating grin Head pointing 15 degrees to the left or right of the victim Eye contact with the victim
/r/seduction07/04/13 09:58 PM
-6

LSD melts away the boundaries between people's distinct realities. The things that are socially acceptable and the stuff you ACTUALLY WANT TO DO suddenly appear much closer to each other with multiple possilbe paths from point A to point B clearly pointed out to you. It frees your mind from the now and the question of 'what should I do'. It enables you to just do what you want to do. Blah, blah, blah. It bypasses approach anxiety. Be careful with crutches.
/r/seduction07/04/13 09:02 PM
10

Yeah, stop doing that.
/r/seduction07/04/13 08:59 PM
3

If you don't feel comfortable saying outrageous things as an opener, then don't say them. No, you should get comfortable with it. Even if you're a more reserved guy and don't plan on being outrageous often, you should still have the tool in your arsenal. If you never say anything even remotely edgy, you're gonna be pretty boring to be around.
/r/seduction07/04/13 08:58 PM
6

I've always loved the section on Mutual Knowledge. Very eye-opening. I do take issue with the unspoken assumption at the end of the video, though. Aside from social circle game, we don't want to maintain a fiction of friendship; don't be afraid to be direct about your intentions, gentlemen!
/r/seduction01/04/13 03:49 AM
3

Yes, beginners are welcome here and encouraged for all positive steps. I wouldn't have it any other way.
/r/seduction26/03/13 01:47 AM
28

This is a field report in which he recognized and disarmed an AMOG using a classic technique. How is this not related to seduction?
/r/seduction25/03/13 05:38 PM
0

You're calling him a dick based solely on the fact that the encounter didn't result in a friendship and I'm the one stuck on outcomes? Take care, dude.
/r/seduction24/03/13 03:44 AM
1

That just means he was projecting a very sexual frame. He may have been a dick, but there's no reason to assume that. You seen to be stuck on this idea that friendship is a consolation prize to dating. It's not. They're two totally different things and they should be treated as such.
/r/seduction24/03/13 02:32 AM
0

Whoever said OP was "being a dick"?
/r/seduction23/03/13 06:33 PM
0

But if you burn that bridge, you're screwed yourself out of that potential lead. You can't go around with that mentality; it'll make you way too cautious, which is boring. It's ok if some people don't like you. There are billions of people out there and you can't possibly be friends with all of them anyways. Let your freak flag fly and the people who will mesh well with you will have no trouble finding you.
/r/seduction22/03/13 04:30 PM
1

Most of it wasn't directed to her though, it was just general GROUP banter. Yeah, it's standard practice to ignore the target until after the group has warmed up to you. The point is to demonstrate your social skills in front of her without prompting her to throw up her bitch shield. It sounds like you took that practice to the extreme. In the future, you should reward her with attention once it's clear that she's digging you and then proceed to escalate kino.
/r/seduction20/03/13 12:03 AM
20

“The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won't sit upon a cold stove lid, either.” In other words, you're taking the wrong lesson from this experience. You basically pulled a Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. You built up a ton of attraction, but then you made no effort to close. Skylar came back and closed him and your friend closed you on behalf of her friend, but you can't count on that to happen very often. Most girls expect you to notice that…
/r/seduction19/03/13 11:59 PM
2

Yes. Its like going on vacation. As soon as you buy you're tickets to Cancun, you start thinking happy thought s about Cancun, because its only a mater of time until you get there. Same with this. If you get on the right path, you can enjoy the fruits of it even before you reach the destination
/r/seduction17/03/13 09:45 PM
8

I mean what makes a girl want to get to know me if there are thousands of guys in this school better looking/more interesting/more confident/in better shape than me. Same thing that makes you attracted to her even though there are countless other girls better looking/more interesting/more confident/in better shape than her. Attraction isn't very relative. If you have some chemistry with her, you're good to go. It doesn't make a lick of difference if there's a guy 100 feet away that would match u…
/r/seduction13/03/13 11:22 PM
5

One of the most common terms we use around these parts, so I'm guessing you're new here. The answer you seek (and many more) is in the glossary on the sidebar. While you're there, check out the awesome FAQ.
/r/seduction13/03/13 09:36 PM
1

It's standard game for the most part. When in doubt, go in with a high energy level; this is not the time to be timid.
/r/seduction13/03/13 06:46 PM
56

It could be, but it's not necessary. If her buying temperature isn't high enough for a kiss, this move won't change that. If it is high enough for a kiss, the move isn't necessary because the guy shouldn't feel he needs an excuse to get close at that point. The girl isn't going to initiate a kiss, though, so this is one of the ways she can quietly scream, "kiss me already!" to him.
/r/seduction13/03/13 06:13 PM
10

Guys don't wanna feel like they were strung along and then get "friend-zoned" when there's really nothing there That's a very AFC way of thinking. It's probably accurate, but realize that's only because most guys are AFCs. You can't get "strung along" or "friend-zoned" unless you fail to escalate, which is your own damn fault.
/r/seduction13/03/13 06:09 PM
39

Reminds me of "Seconds".
/r/seduction13/03/13 03:50 AM
1

Standard game applies, with an emphasis on insta-dates. If you don't know what that means, spend some time reading the sidebar.
/r/seduction13/03/13 01:40 AM
2

You're not going to converse with the entire group in a loud environment. The only reason they are all in a circle is because they are all bored/awkward; nobody is really communicating with each other, but they all want to seem like they are. Pick a small section of the group to target and do as readonlyuser said.
/r/seduction12/03/13 04:31 AM
5

Its called infatuation. Left untreated, it turns into oneitis. The only reason you're thinking about her is that she's connected to good memories and you have nothing else to think about. Find more things to do with your free time and you'll magically think of her less.
/r/seduction10/03/13 01:41 PM
1

No, it's "cheating on yourself" to waste time on a girl that doesn't want you. When a relationship is over, it's time to move on. Pretending otherwise only prolongs the pain.
/r/seduction10/03/13 07:08 AM
1

As far as problems go, that's a pretty minor one. Nobody is going to disown you over unfriending a chick you meet once. I doubt anyone will even notice.
/r/seduction09/03/13 06:22 PM
2

You get over it by literally moving on. The infatuation will slowly dissipate. Step 1 is to break off contact. Step 2 is to pursue other women.
/r/seduction09/03/13 05:31 AM
1

Classic case of oneitis. Move on. Delete her from facebook and FTOW.
/r/seduction09/03/13 05:22 AM
2

That doesn't mean I should run away from that bus stop ;) (I use it everyday anyway!) Of course not. Keep living your life. But next week I'm gonna take the same bus as today (I slept over), to see if she is there, for curiosity. If she is, it must be because she wanted to see if she could find me again, hahaha. Sure, but don't make a habit of it. If you're still thinking about this girl three weeks from now, it's a problem. Another point is I kind of thought she was above my league a bit, so I …
/r/seduction08/03/13 07:34 PM
1

I was amused that you felt down for not getting her number, but you ended with a kiss. I think OP is a non-native English speaker. It wouldn't surprise me if platonic kisses are normal in his country.
/r/seduction08/03/13 04:43 PM
6

That's exactly the wrong attitude. The point of /r/seduction is to get good enough at this stuff so that there's a regular supply of such opportunities in your life, not to obsess over one particular situation where things went fairly well. OP had a good day and he learned a valuable lesson in the process. On to the next one!
/r/seduction08/03/13 04:41 PM
0

There's waaaaaay too much of a gap between "Open the Door" and "Great Start". Picture the extreme noob... what's the point of him hitting on a girl if can't even ask a random old guy for directions? can't even hold eye contact? can't even flash a relaxed smile?
/r/seduction04/03/13 03:39 PM
2

Date whoever you want to date. There will always be certain demographics that you'll do better or worse with, but that's meaningless. The only way you're going to be happy is if you're dating the girls that you want to date, regardless of whether or not they're easy to get.
/r/seduction26/02/13 06:30 PM
99

the more you give a fuck about the results, the worse off you are You must give a fuck about the process, otherwise you'd be sitting on your couch picking your nose instead of going out into the field.
/r/seduction26/02/13 06:22 PM
1

To become socially savvy enough that I can sleep comfortably knowing that I'm choosing to be with any particular girl rather than just accepting whoever happens to come my way.
/r/seduction26/02/13 06:14 PM
7

Frankly part of me suspects that the buck for most girls stops at Asian. Nonsense. There's a tendency for people to date within their race, so obviously an equivalent white guy will have better luck with white girls than you, but so fucking what? Unless there's some sort of surgery that you're considering, there's nothing you can do about that, so quit worrying about it. Focus on the things you can control, such as your body language, eye contact, and inner game. However it’s the first instant, …
/r/seduction26/02/13 05:46 PM
6

Escalate kino. It's impossible for a girl to think of you platonically when you're touching her in progressively intimate ways over the course of the first couple hours. You'll win some and you'll lose some, but either way, you won't end up in no-mans-land like you are now.
/r/seduction26/02/13 03:12 PM
1

I'm saying this as someone in his early 30's who feels he gets better with age but isn't sure what happens in the game. Don't worry about things you can't control. Your age is your age and the game is the game. Just focus on continually improving yourself and the results will be what they're going to be.
/r/seduction25/02/13 12:23 AM
1

Whatever, man. This is the epitome of a "limiting belief". You're only hurting yourself by obsessing about your supposed ugliness, so keep it up if that's what you want. It's not like I give a shit.
/r/seduction23/02/13 05:46 PM
17

You can't control the results; you did your thing, so be proud of that. Keep up the good work!
/r/seduction23/02/13 09:29 AM
2

Dude, stop it. I saw your pic. You look fine. Hell, you look a lot better than my 30+ year old fat ass. Quit making excuses. The problem is not with your appearance.
/r/seduction23/02/13 08:48 AM
3

Google is your friend, my friend. Whenever you come across a term you don't know, google "pua" plus the term. You'll find your explanation.
/r/seduction23/02/13 08:44 AM
2

Lots of people don't like PDAs, especially as you get older. If this is a dealbreaker for you, dump her. If not, just roll with it and make sure you have good private displays of affection.
/r/seduction22/02/13 09:58 PM
9

Sounds like buyer's remorse. Impossible to give a firm answer without details. Next time it happens, post a field report.
/r/seduction22/02/13 09:57 PM
1

I've been practicing on a girl and I seem to either always grab too forcefully or get my fingers tangled in her hair before I can close my fingers together to end the gripping process. Or maybe she's just not really into it. Try it on different girls to make sure she's not skewing your results.
/r/seduction22/02/13 09:55 PM
2

is it just purely a matter of physical attraction? Immutable physical features have very little to do with female attraction. To the extent that appearance matters, it's almost entirely about fitness and style. Besides, even if you are hindered with a hideous hunchback or something, what are you going to do about it? Give up? The bottom line is that if you want a love life, you have no choice but to continue working on your social skills. If you're not sure what still needs improving, post a bun…
/r/seduction22/02/13 09:48 PM
2

Eye contact Brief touches to her hands/arms to emphasize a point Find a way to close the distance
/r/seduction22/02/13 09:43 PM
17

I like to tease a girl whenever she incorrectly asks if something's wrong. In this case, I might say something like "Yeah, I could never date a girl that's only read two of the 50 Shades books. This just isn't gonna work out" It's such a ridiculous position to take that she'll realize you're kidding and that nothing is wrong, while avoiding any lame explanations about why you didn't text back.
/r/seduction22/02/13 09:36 PM
12

Get better at foreplay. There are plenty of ways to get her turned on without touching her tits and pussy. If you get her really hot, whatever mental block she has will melt away. It'll probably be a process, but if you get better at pushing her buttons, she'll eventually start begging for it. Also, don't get oneitis; find more women.
/r/seduction22/02/13 09:32 PM
10

You're essentially dealing with a major case of LMR. Just don't talk about it. Spend time with her, keep her buying temperature spiked, etc. When it does come up, don't let her frame it as a "her vs her friend" thing. Put the emphasis on the fact that she's an adult and she can make her own choices about what she wants to do. Also, don't be afraid to do a Mystery-style freeze-out.
/r/seduction22/02/13 09:26 PM
1

If you are a frequent reader of Seddit, a #close literally means nothing. That's nonsense. You're completely ignoring the inner game development that needs to happen for a guy to hold eye contact, let alone approach, let alone being that direct and insistent. The guys in that video have perfect body language and rock solid frames; that's not something to take for granted. There are a ton of milestones with this stuff and they're all important.
/r/seduction20/02/13 04:57 PM
5

as someone learning how to be good with women, you can also be creepy sometimes. So? You can't succeed if you're not willing to fail. Some of the girls I approach -- dance floor or otherwise -- will inevitably view my attempt as "creepy". Who cares?
/r/seduction19/02/13 02:41 PM
3

Hence the dance floor IS a special place where you don't need to approach. You don't need to approach anywhere. If you carry yourself well, there will be girls that will approach you by trying to bum a smoke, asking a stupid question, etc. For every girl that makes the first move, however, there are at least 10 more that were receptive, but unwilling to make the first move. You can be passive, but you're missing out on a lot of opportunities.
/r/seduction19/02/13 02:36 PM
38

You should dance to have fun. ...while getting girls. i just dance to have fun and girls will come at you to dance with you. I dont need to do any approaching. There's nothing special about the dance floor that should make you suddenly stop approaching. You're the man; if you see someone you want to interact with, go do it, regardless of where you happen to be.
/r/seduction19/02/13 12:26 AM
3

Absolutely. CouchSurfing played a big role in helping me come out of my shell. I didn't do any dating per se, but it was great for learning how to be social with people you don't know anything about yet.
/r/seduction16/02/13 09:55 PM
2

That's somewhat depressing, assuming the 69% of women lose interest after a bad kiss. Don't sweat it, man. The part they don't mention is that it's really hard to give a bad kiss. I'm 23 and still haven't even had my first kiss ever. Once I finally get that, then I gotta worry about it being good enough (Oh, and I know it won't) to keep her interested. Just err on the side of being soft and sensuous and you'll be fine. Even if it goes poorly a few times, who gives a fuck? If you learn the basics…
/r/seduction13/02/13 05:28 AM
12

You should have kissed her a week ago, man. At this point, the setting makes absolutely no difference. Just kiss her already. You gotta get past this, even if it comes off clumsy.
/r/seduction13/02/13 05:21 AM
6

That's true of everything in dating. You're going to make mistakes in your first 100 approaches. You're going to make mistakes in your first 100 dates. You're going to make mistakes in your first 100 kisses. You're going to make mistakes in your first 100 lays. Quit worrying about being perfect, because there's no way in hell it will happen. Just get out there and get some experience.
/r/seduction13/02/13 05:17 AM
5

Most museums (in the US, at least) aren't free, but you're right that it's a good date. If you're going to do it regularly, get a membership. You can for $50-100 per year, you can get free admission for you and a guest and most museums honor each other's memberships, so you'll have free access to practically any museum that you happen across.
/r/seduction11/02/13 07:19 PM
3

only 1 drink per venue. 2 or 3 should be good. I'm totally on board with venue changes, but do you really just use three different bars? It seems to me that there would need to be a meaningful difference between the various venues or she'll wonder why you can't sit still for more than 10 minutes at a time. Are you picking three bars that have different themes or something?
/r/seduction11/02/13 07:09 PM
1

Lots of fun, but it's not cheap. I'd save that for a second or third date.
/r/seduction11/02/13 07:00 PM
4

Who cares? It's perfectly ok to do things that you're not good at. In a lot of ways, it's good to do things you're not good at, because it shows that your self esteem is strong enough to weather a public display of your weaknesses. Besides, by the time you've taken a handful of girls on skating dates, you'll start to get the hang of it.
/r/seduction11/02/13 06:58 PM
2

It's not hard to improve your cooking skills. Just pick a meal that you enjoy and google the recipe. Make it three nights in a row. Follow the directions meticulously the first two nights and just wing it on the third. Voila, you now have a proper meal in your repertoire. More importantly, there are probably a million ways to create variations of that meal by substituting different meats, sauces, veggies, etc. Once you get the hang of the basic structure of a few different types of meals, you'll…
/r/seduction11/02/13 06:41 PM
3

Then go out and open 100 random chicks first. You're not going to get it right on your first try. You need to come to terms with that one way or another. Embrace failure; it's the only way to learn this shit. Quit making excuses and go fail!
/r/seduction06/02/13 01:52 AM
3

At this stage, it's all the same. Don't even worry about qualifying and escalating. Just get the hang of opening for now. Any time you blank on things to say, you can always say, "It was a pleasure meeting you" and bail. Just get out there and open sets.
/r/seduction06/02/13 12:05 AM
6

The car itself is meaningless, especially in a college or big city setting where many people do without. The key is being able to get where you want to go when you want to go there. If you can effectively use a combination of feet, bikes, cabs, buses, borrowed cars*, etc to handle your transportation needs, you'll be fine. If you're constantly bugging your buddy to shuttle you around, however, it's gonna be a drag. * Make sure you're generous with the gas money when you borrow a car. If you want…
/r/seduction05/02/13 06:00 PM
5

In general, compliments should be responded to gracefully with something like a "Thank you" or "That's so nice of you to say." Optionally, you can give a compliment in return. In a seduction situation, you may want to brush the compliment aside and comment on the underlying feelings that led her to give it. I couldn't find the link, but I remember Mystery talking about how girls would say they like one of his goofy peacocking props and he'd respond with something like, "No, you don't. You're jus…
/r/seduction05/02/13 05:57 PM
4

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+kiss Also, don't get hung up on the details. For the most part, it'll come naturally. And unless you're in the throes of passion, remember that slower and softer is better than wild and wet.
/r/seduction05/02/13 05:46 PM
2

They will when they're ready to change. Conversations like this happen regularly around here and dozens of new guys show up every day. Those that are serious about improving their social skills have ample opportunity to do so.
/r/seduction05/02/13 01:02 PM
3

LoL, that actually sounds like me when I was younger. lol, yeah it was far too many of us. I blame it on moms and Hollywood for filling kids full of unrealistic ideas about romance. I don't think I've ever heard the term "social circle game" It doesn't get talked about much because most of us late bloomers don't have much in the way of a social circle, so it's really not an option, but it's the go-to methods for high schoolers or anyone else that's fishing in a small pond. If the "friendzone" in…
/r/seduction05/02/13 02:51 AM
8

I think that many men that I observe push too hard for a sexual relationship. Not these guys... /r/askseddit/ is littered with these guys who go years without making even the slightest sexual advance even though they lust over her the entire time. When they're finally tired of the charade, they'll come here, describe the situation in length and then ask how they can win her over. That's when we talk about the friendzone and how any chance to attract her has long since evaporated. I'll try to put…
/r/seduction04/02/13 11:03 PM
16

Whether intentional or not, you're clearly very competent socially and that creates attraction within the women you hang out with. You're the one keeping the relationship platonic, so it should be self-evident that you can drop the self-imposed restrictions at will. It's a perfectly fine approach. When we talk about the friend-zone around here, we're referring to the newbies that can't create attraction within the girls they hang out with. While many of your female friends spend at least a slive…
/r/seduction04/02/13 10:21 PM
4

"Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt" I used to believe that too and it served me horribly. You can't grow as a person unless you're willing to make mistakes and that includes conversations. The only thing that truly makes you foolish is when you stubbornly cling to an idea that may not be true. You can be wrong all day long and decent people won't think of less of you as long as you're open to feedback.
/r/seduction04/02/13 07:39 PM
12

That's different. Presumably, you're at least fairly competent at this stuff and are therefore creating some attraction within every girl you meet. Then by not acting on that attraction, you're basically friendzoning her and you can then remove her from the friendzone whenever you'd like. In the context of an AFC, he's not creating any attraction, so she friendzones him and he's going to have to build a ton of attraction to overcome that intertia, which hardly ever happens because if he had enou…
/r/seduction04/02/13 06:35 PM
2

It's either a soft rejection or an attempt to scope you out a bit before proceeding to the next step. Go ahead and add her. After she's had a couple days to scope you out, ask her out on a date. If she says yes, exchange numbers. If she says no, put her in your friendzone or just delete her if you're not interested in having her as a friend.
/r/seduction03/02/13 05:46 PM
1

I don't talk freely about studying seduction, but I've confided to a few close friends that I'm actively attempting to sharpen my social skills. I don't refer to any particular resources, though. I just talk about my goals and how I'm practicing it in a step-by-step sort of way.
/r/seduction03/02/13 05:40 PM
13

You: You want me to come fucking get you? After you stormed off...again? Her: Blah blah blah yes I do blah blah You: Apologize. Now Your approach turns it into a power struggle because you're demanding that she do something that you can't actually make her do. OP, OTOH, maintained full control by simply reminding her that she got herself into the mess and she has the ability to get herself out of it. And then he went back to looking at silly cat pictures.
/r/seduction03/02/13 05:07 PM
15

Spend some time around 4-6 year old kids. You'll quickly learn that most tears can be safely ignored.
/r/seduction03/02/13 05:04 PM
20

Nah, she's just a spoiled brat. OP handled it right and if he keeps appropriate boundaries, she'll mellow out.
/r/seduction03/02/13 05:02 PM
1

Oh, ok. I'd turn them off. Easy way to keep a little bit of mystery for those times when she's anxious to hear your response.
/r/seduction02/02/13 12:18 PM
2

Nothing good comes from knowing. You shouldn't even care.
/r/seduction01/02/13 03:52 PM
3

That's great and all, but it's not actionable. You can't change the weather and 13.9% is still significantly greater than zero, so it's not like you're going to stop flirting on cloudy days.
/r/seduction29/01/13 07:50 PM
1

But then why didn't she write a thread about how being yourself helps building attraction? That's exactly what she did. She displayed the weirder parts of her personality -- parts she normally would have hidden -- and she ended up attracting the cutest guy in the group. Thus she concluded would-be seducers should similarly embrace their weirder qualities. You can certainly go all post hoc ergo propter hoc on her (and you may even be right), but there's no reason to assume her intentions are impu…
/r/seduction28/01/13 08:17 PM
1

She did it for attention. How did you come to that conclusion? From her choice of words, it seems the opposite is true. "I chose to be myself and share things that weren't your usual get-to-know-you stories." There's nothing fake about that.
/r/seduction28/01/13 07:00 PM
4

She's right, though. What is "weird", after all? It's behavior that's outside of the social norms. Well there are two types of people that behave outside of the social norms: those that are unaware of the norms and those that know of the norms and are unafraid to break them. It's not good to be socially oblivious, of course, but consciously breaking the norms from time to time is incredibly powerful because people recognize the courage it takes to do so.
/r/seduction28/01/13 04:47 PM
1

Sure, it's possible that he has an abnormal biochemistry, but it's much more likely that he's not accurately assessing himself.
/r/seduction28/01/13 02:28 AM
0

Then he's probably drinking too often and that's hurting his game.
/r/seduction28/01/13 01:56 AM
15

I'd rather be intoxicated a bit and comfortable then sober and so nervous I leave. The point of seduction is to improve your social skills to the point where you can be sober and comfortable. I'm no teetotaler; I got pretty drunk last night myself. All I'm saying is that that much alcohol is not helping your game.
/r/seduction27/01/13 06:11 PM
24

Eh, don't give him too much credit. He had been there for hours and was probably pretty drunk before he managed the courage to do it. And he went home alone, right? He's far from being a master.
/r/seduction27/01/13 06:06 PM
22

I really don't feel comfortable in my own skin unless I am at around my magic number of 6 or 7. Way too much. You're nowhere near as charming as you think you are at that stage. Learn how to feel comfortable with less. It's not easy, but you'll be much better off for it.
/r/seduction27/01/13 06:03 PM
40

I mean yeah, he was cool, and me and him had a really cool conversation about music. It's not that he was being a jerk, he just really attracted people, including me in a way of sorts. That, my friend, is how it looks from the other side of the fence. He opened a mixed set and disarmed the obstacles, including you.
/r/seduction27/01/13 06:01 PM
91

Attaboy
/r/seduction24/01/13 03:00 PM
1

What causes your low points?
/r/seduction19/01/13 01:48 AM
6

Don't knock the sandwich artists. They tend to be very talented.
/r/seduction15/01/13 01:08 PM
2

But if you're self-validated you don't have any motivation to do anything, because by definition you don't need anything. Just because you don't need anything, doesn't mean you can't want anything. Given everything that's happened over the past 30+ years of my life, I'm pretty happy with who I am today. I'm gonna smile brightly tomorrow just as I did today, even if nobody is around to blow smoke up my skirt. But that doesn't mean I lack goals. There are things that I want to experience. There ar…
/r/seduction14/01/13 01:35 AM
3

Extend your hand with your palm facing upwards and it's unlikely that she's mistake it for a handshake.
/r/seduction13/01/13 07:34 AM
3

The others gave you good answers, but you also need to realize frequent texting is a symptom of a bad date, not a cause. If she pulls her phone out, it's because you guys aren't having enough fun. Have more fun!
/r/seduction13/01/13 07:28 AM
5

Become self-validated. If your happiness isn't dependent on your ability to seduce women, you'll stop pursuing hollow victories and focus on women that actually add value to your life.
/r/seduction13/01/13 07:26 AM
1

The fact remains that you're not talking about new content as you said an hour ago. Rather it seems you're just unhappy with the balance between inner game and outer game. That's a personal preference and it seems you're in the minority on that one. ::shrugs::
/r/seduction13/01/13 07:22 AM
1

The Claw is part of the loop. It gets posted periodically and it'll get posted again in 6 months for the benefit of the guys that missed it last week. There will always be some innovation, but there will always be much more repetition. It's just the nature of the beast.
/r/seduction13/01/13 06:30 AM
2

Seduction is a complicated thing, but most of it comes down to calibration and it's just not practical to convey that level of detail in text. So really, there's a limit to what can be discussed. If you've been around for any length of time, you've noticed that everything is essentially a repost. It's all just a giant loop for the benefit of the noobs.
/r/seduction12/01/13 09:37 PM
65

It doesn't matter what girls want; what matters is what they respond to. It doesn't matter that some women understand seduction; you're still better off getting your seduction advice from the guys that are actually good at seducing.
/r/seduction12/01/13 06:45 PM
167

High school might be the only place you will be able to make true platonic female friends. You can make true, platonic female friends anywhere, anytime. The key is that the guy has to genuinely friendzone her. If he's just doing it in the hope that he'll eventually fuck her, it won't work very well, but if he genuinely just wants a friend, there are plenty to be found. Negging. For the love of God, don't do it. I know, I know seddit preaches to only do it to the hottest of the hot, but what you …
/r/seduction12/01/13 03:59 PM
2

You're right about there being tons of beautiful women in NYC, but if he doesn't want to go there, he doesn't have to. There are plenty of beautiful women in jersey too. He may not trip over them every three steps like he would in the city, but they're there and the last thing he needs is another excuse to not approach them.
/r/seduction08/01/13 08:57 PM
3

I think I may have given her the vibe that I was just looking for a friend cause I wasn't being that direct. That's definitely the impression I got. You were knee-deep in comfort topics the whole time and she even referred to you specifically as a friend. That's cool, though. Put her in your friendzone and hit on one of her friends when the opportunity arises. Good job!
/r/seduction08/01/13 01:24 PM
1

Simple, firm "No, I'm not giving you the key" probably would have been enough to "nip it in the bud". Toss in a ಠ_ಠ for extra emphasis if you like. If the dude still tries to cause problems, then you can escalate your response.
/r/seduction26/12/12 03:27 AM
1

Life's too short to go around calling every idiot on their bullshit. He could have protected his friend without escalating the situation.
/r/seduction24/12/12 12:50 PM
3

Attaboy! Nevermind the nerves. They'll slowly fade to a tolerable level in time. Keep up the good work!
/r/seduction24/12/12 02:55 AM
2

You have to understand that even though she wants sex with you, she doesn't want anyone else knowing. That's an oversimplification, but it's basically true. For a deeper look at the psychology, watch this discussion of "mutual knowledge". The last 5 minutes are particularly relevant, but the whole thing is good.
/r/seduction24/12/12 02:40 AM
2

That's a horrible attitude that often creates unnecessary conflicts. Maybe he would have needed a good talking-to at some point in the future, but nothing in that story indicates that it needed to happen at that time.
/r/seduction23/12/12 04:22 AM
8

You protected your friend, which was good. You didn't need to embarrass your classmate to do it, though. That was kind of a dick move.
/r/seduction23/12/12 12:07 AM
11

Reminds me of one of my favorite anecdotes from Life Nomadic. Reminds me that I haven't been saying "yes" often enough lately. Just Say Yes John was a sixty year old Brit who looked like a mustachioed jungle explorer and said things like, “me noggin”. As far as we could tell, he was the only other guest of the hostel in Qatar. He was charismatic and honest in a way that made you like him instantly. When we were in Qatar, the taxi industry was in a state of flux. The old taxis had been taken off …
/r/seduction20/12/12 05:31 PM
6

Escalation is how to increase the intimacy of your interactions with her. Calibration tells you when to do it. Being mis-calibrated will certainly hinder your game, but being downright afraid to escalate (as most AFCs are) will completely destroy your game.
/r/seduction19/12/12 05:40 PM
2

There's nothing wrong with noticing potential mistakes. All you have to do is accept the fact that you're imperfect. No matter how good you get, you'll always make some mistakes every night and that's ok! There's only one question you should ever ask yourself: "Am I improving overall?"
/r/seduction19/12/12 12:26 AM
3

Most self-proclaimed introverts aren't really introverts, though. There are far too many guys that have wrapped this label around themselves and use it as an excuse to avoid developing any social skills. That's a shame and we try to help them grow past their limiting beliefs. Now once a guy learns how to work a room, if he then decides he doesn't enjoy doing so, that's entirely his prerogative and he'd get plenty of encouragement for finding his own ideal lifestyle.
/r/seduction18/12/12 02:22 AM
4

its complicated No, it's not complicated. You have a thing for a girl that's taken. Check out /r/askseddit... it happens constantly. Everything on here is helpful, but it seems like only in a club or bar setting, not very long term. You can't get to "long term" without getting through the first few dates. That's why we focus a lot on the initial encounters. this girl is just so awesome If she's willing to cheat on him, she'll be willing to cheat on you. If she's not willing to cheat on him, you'…
/r/seduction17/12/12 05:22 AM
3

... then you'll probably mess it up by taking too few risks and being too unremarkable. Oh, and you'll also probably end up chasing her long after she decided she wasn't interested. That is why the community frowns on it.
/r/seduction17/12/12 04:35 AM
26

Never give a sincere compliment to a girl that's fishing for one unless you just know she's the type of girl that doesn't get them often and could really use one. Treat the rest as a shit test. Backhanded compliments: "You're the cutest girl I've seen in minutes" Nonsensical compliments: "I just love the way your nose is perfectly centered on your face" Call her out: "Aww, you're fishing for a compliment... isn't that just adorable!"
/r/seduction12/12/12 02:39 AM
3

Focus on their names during the introduction. Repeat the names in your head a couple times early on Use the names occasionally early on Don't be afraid to ask for the name again. Most people are bad at names so they'll understand and often they'll even be grateful you said something because they forgot your name too.
/r/seduction11/12/12 04:54 PM
5

Stupid list. #2 is a matter of common courtesy during any two-person outing. The rest are all matters of calibration, so his advice is as useful as saying, "Don't be mis-calibrated."
/r/seduction11/12/12 04:51 PM
3

"Seduction" is a loaded word with unethical connotations, so I try to avoid using it. Besides, the sex isn't even a primary goal for me. I just want active dating life full of well-rounded women.
/r/seduction11/12/12 01:30 PM
7

The core stuff, no. The canned stuff, yes.
/r/seduction11/12/12 01:22 PM
2

How can I NOT fuck this thing up ? Step 1: lose that attitude. Realize that it doesn't matter if you "fuck it up" because there are countless other girls that have at least as much gf potential as she does. The only way it would matter if you "fuck it up" is if you don't think you could ever get any of those girls. That, my friend, is the essence of desperation and no matter how good the rest of your game is, she'll smell the desperation a mile away and it will turn her off completely. Lose the …
/r/seduction10/12/12 01:50 PM
1

It's not supposed to be that hard in college, but oh well... sometimes it is. You're just getting an early taste of the after-college life. Ya just gotta put yourself in more social situations and be more memorable. Just keep taking the initiative on things. Ask guys for their numbers. Invite yourself out for things. Ask seemingly "dumb" questions until you understand their backgrounds well enough to follow along with their stories. In short, do all of the things that everyone else did last year…
/r/seduction10/12/12 01:41 PM
1

Yes. There's a lot of flexibility to the process, but the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder provides a great kino guideline.
/r/seduction10/12/12 01:27 PM
1

If she goes with the transfer just move on. The transfer is next year. Oneitis can be fatal if it goes untreat that long. Make up your mind this week, OP. Go for it or let it go.
/r/seduction10/12/12 01:25 PM
14

Where's Waldo would be boring if he were circled on every page. Happy hunting!
/r/seduction08/12/12 12:47 AM
3

How does one capitalize on all this in only a few short days? By acting on it. Standard game applies, just accelerate some of your time tables.
/r/seduction06/12/12 05:57 PM
2

Yeah, I've felt that way a couple times. I don't have a problem with a girl making some of the early moves, but if I don't put much effort into the interaction and she just keeps plowing, it won't take long before I start questioning her motives.
/r/seduction05/12/12 10:59 PM
3

I am pretty new to drinking. I have no idea what I'm doing. You've received plenty of drink details by now, so let me give you some general-purpose advice. There will always be things you're clueless about. Don't be ashamed... embrace it! Especially this one... it's perfect conversational material. You can use it to open any set in any bar. "Hi... I'm new to drinking. What's your favorite drink?" Then order one and talk about their answers for a minute. Segue into something else. When the drink …
/r/seduction05/12/12 07:43 PM
1

I've been pondering the same question lately and here's what I've scraped together from various posts. It's far from a comprehensive list; these are just the ones that I think might work for my particular situation. Here are some other winter posts: 1 2 3 4 cooking dinner shopping for something open houses auctions wine tours crafts pet store card, quiz, board games ad lib a muted movie halfway through buzzer (you have to change your answer when "buzzed") go somewhere public, pretend to be mute,…
/r/seduction05/12/12 07:28 PM
2

It's not a particularly exciting or memorable date, but it's not bad. All of the moving around gives a ton of kino opportunities. You can get a bit to eat mid-game. You can have a couple drinks. You can kick on the jukebox and dance a couple numbers. There's just plenty of room for ad-libbing, which keeps the night from getting stale. Just don't approach it like bowling with your buddies. You're not trying to adhere to perfect bowling etiquette and you're not trying to get a perfect score. Relax…
/r/seduction04/12/12 07:42 PM
1

"My cousin is battling cancer. We're pretty tight, so when he started to lose his hair, I promised to shave mine too." You'll have to level with her before the relationship progresses very far, but that should buy you some time and any chick that would get upset over that kind of lie can go fuck herself.
/r/seduction03/12/12 05:20 AM
2

It helps if you can actually skate well yourself though, otherwise you just look kind of clumsy. It's all in how you frame it. Everybody has gaps in their knowledge/abilities, so you can't be expected to be good at everything. If you're all embarrassed and apologetic about your lack of grace, it'll be awkward, but if you're matter-of-fact about it and accept the outing as an opportunity for good-natured self-improvement, it can be a lot of fun. tl;dr: Don't try to appear perfect. Just be real an…
/r/seduction03/12/12 04:50 AM
1

I kinda put that as the same level "first date" kinda thing as a dinner/movie. Everyone does it, I wanna be different... Dinner/movie dates are cliche because it's a convenient cliche for hollywood. In reality, though, they pretty much suck. They're very rigidly structured and there's very little opportunity for your respective personalities to shine, which means there's very little opportunity to actually get to know each other. Yes, a coffee date is also cliche, but it's cliche for a good reas…
/r/seduction03/12/12 04:40 AM
7

Ya should have just gotten the redhead's number when she left (because Claire already telegraphed that it was a good match and you shouldn't need middlemen anyways), but other than that, well played.
/r/seduction19/11/12 09:54 AM
2

Quit worrying about it To the extent that you're going to worry about it anyways, read up on AMOG destroyers.
/r/seduction17/11/12 03:46 PM
13

I'm still a little peeved at that leather jacket chick for blowing me off. I don't really see what I did wrong for her to turn away from me so quickly. You weren't here type and you found that out before wasting hours of your time. That's a good thing, man. Good job out there!
/r/seduction17/11/12 03:39 PM
2

Also, If a single one rejects you, all of them are closed, because news spreads fast You might get blackballed if you really mistreat some girl, but for the most part, there's no long-term backlash to high school relationships. It's not uncommon for kids to date each other's exes. Forget about what you think they expect and get in the game now. There'll never be a better time than now.
/r/seduction13/11/12 02:06 PM
1

Not dinner.
/r/seduction13/11/12 01:58 PM
2

Standard date initiation rules apply. Invite her out to something fun. Preferably something short and simple that can be extended if you hit it off.
/r/seduction13/11/12 01:57 PM
1

Threading. Sometimes you'll be able to thread right off the opener. Sometimes the opener will lead to a dead end. Actually, dead ends are a possibility at any point in the conversation. That's ok. In fact, you can jump to a completely random topic at any time. As long as you don't hit a bunch of dead ends in a row, the conversation will feel fluid overall. This applies to conversations with people of any age and gender.
/r/seduction13/11/12 01:55 PM
1

Why would you be stuck? If you make a few attempts to jump-start the conversation and she's not responding, say goodbye and move on. tl;dr: Eject from blown sets.
/r/seduction01/10/12 05:15 PM
1

Likewise, when I say privacy is preferable, how is this taken as an absolute rule? Understood. I'm not simply saying that there are exceptions to your rule. I'm saying the rule itself is rubbish. Privacy isn't preferable. When it comes to simple flirtations, privacy isn't something you should strive for even as a general rule. If you're being very explicit, sure, be discreet. If, however, it's just a basic flirtation that announces your interest in a romantic relationship in a playful way, you s…
/r/seduction24/09/12 06:41 PM
0

It's a bit forward and Facebook is a pretty public place to say it, but mostly you're worrying too much. Hot girls hear sexualized comments about birthday spankings at every single birthday. If anything, the line is too cliche. It's only creepy if you use it on a girl who's overly-prude and/or not attracted to you. If you use it in the right situation with the right girl, she'll play along.
/r/seduction24/09/12 04:29 PM
1

Privacy is just preferable. Sometimes. Sometimes not. There are times when you're better off declaring your intentions privately, there are times when you're better off declaring your intentions publicly, and there are times when it doesn't matter which way you do it. Like most things, it's a matter of calibration that depends heavily on the nuances of the girl and the situation.
/r/seduction24/09/12 04:22 PM
1

You're not going to get very far if you only hit on girls in private. There will be spectators for most of your openings. You have to be careful not to go too far in an environment her parents, bosses, etc might overhear, but birthday spankings are a pretty harmless social cliche.
/r/seduction24/09/12 03:49 AM
-9

She'll see right through that. If you were going to say, "When's a good time to receive your spankings?", that's forward enough that she might appreciate the discretion of private message, but OP's line is mostly playful that few would object to having public. So then she's going to consider why you made it private when you could have easily made it public. She'll probably assume that it's because you use the line repeatedly.
/r/seduction23/09/12 03:25 AM
1

Can't possibly be more boring than this conversation has been to me. I gave you good advice. You can go put it to good use or not, but either way, it's time for you to go now.
/r/seduction10/08/12 10:22 PM
1

Same way you learn anything else: Read. Practice. Repeat.
/r/seduction10/08/12 10:17 PM
1

I beg to differ. Body language never tells me anything. Sounds like your body language skills could use some sharpening. Yeah, those seem pretty useless to me. Ok. Rock on, Cmdr Spock.
/r/seduction10/08/12 08:36 PM
0

Well, that doesn't answer my question at all Sure it does. The answer is "anything non-biographical". You can hate it all you want, but that's what it is. You're not going to simply walk up to a girl and get her life's story. You have to warm her up a bit. It works both ways, too. She has to earn your attention too. And it's pretty shitty when we live in a world when presentation and delivery of speech is more important than content. I mean, I don't watch The Atheist Experience to see someone's …
/r/seduction10/08/12 08:11 PM
0

Education is a major part of someone's life. There's a lot to talk about. Of course, but not yet. What the hell SHOULD you hit in the first few minutes, then? Small talk. Something light. Maybe it's context-sensitive, maybe it's completely random. It's all just a light-hearted exchange that gives each person a chance to get a feel for the other person's personality to see if there's any chance of a connection. When you hear a women talk about how they "know in the first minute whether or not the…
/r/seduction10/08/12 07:07 PM
0

Any personal information is a comfort topic. We become comfortable around another person by learning about who they are and where they come from. Like any "rule" in seduction, there are exceptions. You can hit on a comfort topic in the first few minutes as long as you don't dwell on it. Just don't get into the "What school are you going to? Cool, I go to [other place]. Whats your major? How do you like it here? etc etc" until she's already attracted to you.
/r/seduction10/08/12 03:18 PM
1

In the first few minutes, you're just demonstrating that you're a strong, socially competent man. Mostly that's done through body language and tonality, so the topic of conversation doesn't matter a whole lot. Just keep it light and stay away from "getting to know you" stuff. There's a lot of material out there, so do a little digging if it's still not sinking in.
/r/seduction10/08/12 02:34 AM
24

Would it then be okay to move onto talking about where she is from, college etc.? Those are "comfort" topics. If you go there before she's attracted to you, it's unlikely she'll ever become attracted to you.
/r/seduction09/08/12 04:12 PM
1

You probably should have opened more sets, but you're doing fine. Nice job mixing the groups.
/r/seduction29/07/12 05:05 PM
7

Not if it comes up immediately. Sometimes it's just part of a bitch shield.
/r/seduction29/07/12 12:57 PM
0

I wouldn't do it to friends and I don't want the drama that would come from it, but I don't have any moral objections to it. I'm not responsible for the promises she made. Nor would I blame the guy if my gf/wife cheated on me. It was her responsibility to stay faithful. "He was so charming" is no more of an excuse than "She had gorgeous legs". Resisting temptation is part and parcel of a serious relationship.
/r/seduction29/07/12 12:52 PM
2

It can be anything from "nice shoes" to "that was really sweet of you to help the old guy across the street". Just make sure you're complimenting something she chose. She didn't choose her facial features. Delivery is also important. Most guys drop a compliment and then wait for her to respond. It's awkward as hell. She's going to say "thanks" and then the conversation is at a dead stop. Don't wait for the obligatory response. You don't need her fake gratitude. Just say the compliment and then m…
/r/seduction29/07/12 10:32 AM
2

Compliments: If you're going to toss out a compliment, make it about something she actually has control of, something that says something about her personality. Beauty is common, especially in NYC; you have to convey that she needs to have a good personality to be worth your time. Overly-direct: Attaboy. Ya gotta be willing to take risks to get anywhere with this stuff. You still have a lot of calibrating to do and you'll piss off a bunch of girls along the way. Oh well. Next!
/r/seduction28/07/12 09:17 AM
2

I fucking talked to a random woman, held a decent conversation about nothing, and asked for her number. Yup. You popped your cherry. From here on in, all you have to do is continue to make approaches and you'll get steadily better.
/r/seduction20/07/12 05:48 AM
6

I learned a valuable lesson with this date: do not go into a scheduled date with machine gun mode. I was called a douche, weird, and really put off this girl at first with how intense it was. "The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won't sit upon a cold stove lid, either." - Twain Be careful not to overstate the lesson. It may just be that some chicks aren't down with "machine gun mode" at a scheduled date.
/r/seduction18/07/12 06:07 AM
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