Problems with self-doubt

IANAPUA_Yet · 2015-09-21T14:55:36+00:00

It's a bad habit. Break it the way you would any other bad habit.

TheBlackLights · 2015-09-21T15:11:02+00:00

Sounds a lot like the type of behavior Tyler talks about in RSD (Real Social Dynamics) Foundations. Basically, when you are with guys you are having fun and you are not "outcome-oriented", i.e. you're not trying to get a phone number or a date out of the whole thing, you are simply having fun. With girls, you are (subconsciously) trying to impress them/hit on them/get a phone number/ etc. but you are not 100% confident you can do it. My best guess is that it's the insecurity that gets you.

It's perfectly okay to be like this (Source: myself), especially if you haven't talked to girls a lot. Try changing your mindset from "I want to get this girl's number" to "I want to have fun" and don't try to force yourself to be something/someone you are not. It will feel weird at first but soon enough you'll be equally as confident in talking to girls as with guys. If you find the RSD Foundations Superconference, I suggest you watch it. Sure, it's 8 hours but it covers the thing you've mentioned and a lot more that you might face when starting to talk to girls.

Psychocist · 2015-09-21T16:42:10+00:00

I've suffered with this, and still do to a large degree, except it happens with my friends, too!

I would say it's based on neediness. We are trying to have an effect on people to gain some kind of validation to feed our self-worth. Playing this game is what keeps our self-worth low. We'll stop playing once we start generating it ourselves by holding strong this idea that we are inherently worthy simply by being alive.

It's hard walking around with a worthiness-gauge strapped to the inside of your eyelids, but it's all self-inflicted. Advice that I've started to follow myself: exercise, eat well, sleep well, meditate. If you force yourself (initially) to live a healthy lifestyle, you'll naturally feel good about yourself and your life.

Do not try to fix this through your experiences with women. You can't. I started dating someone I wasn't even that interested in and started to become needy within a couple of months. No matter how many compliments she's threw at me or how much attention she gives me, I always want more.

We've created an imaginary void that nothing can fill. The first step is awareness.

Title	Problems with self-doubt
Author	DBsix
Upvotes	0
Comments	3
Date	September 21, 2015 1:35 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3lsxjq/problems_with_selfdoubt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/problems-with-self-doubt.1308870 https://theredarchive.com/post/1308870

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