Feeling skeptical, some thoughts on Seduction

incinerati · 2011-08-01T15:55:34+00:00

I'm not sure where you're seeing "act uninterested" etc, but as evidenced by all the FR's your reading where they fail or hesitate I'd say you have your answer as to the validity of that action.

You need to act interested. You need to demonstrate that interest. If you don't make the move she's not going to make it for you (usually). It's an important part of the process - I'd say the most important.

In fact, with almost nothing else going for you demonstrating interest alone can go a LONG way. I've got a friend, 5'5", mexican, fat, 40 years old, diabetic, unemployed (legally speaking). There's nothing really redeeming about him, and yet I've never met a man who's more skilled at bringing a girl home. His secret isn't roadmaps and grand games of skillful wordplay. He just has no fear about making it clear that he is interested in a girl in a physical way.

Nothing lasts for him and it's left him pretty empty, but that's not my point. What I'm trying to say here is in my opinion most of what you do to "seduce" a girl should be more about making yourself good long term relationship material. Showing interest will get a girl into bed, being a good man will keep her coming back. If you think that acting uninterested is the path, I think I might know why you're having trouble with your "one-itis".

And stop making excuses for yourself. At under-21 you have one of the least busy schedules you're ever going to have. Sack up, kick the one-itis, and go meet the girl who will rock your world for the next few decades. Or, if you are so sure the right one is your "one-itis", then MAKE A MOVE. I don't care what the situation is - she could be married with 2 kids and your best friend since birth. MAKE A MOVE. Take her out, laugh, drink, eat, and tell her how you feel. Tell her WHY she makes you feel that way, what specifically about her makes you so sure she's the one. Two things will happen. One, you will feel better about yourself, and two, you might get the chance to live your freaking dream. Beats sitting around wishing for the next decade while she uses you as an emotional tampon because you're such a good guy and nice friend and easy to talk to about the jackoff boyfriend who's currently treating her like pond scum.

But I digress.

Seduction is not a placebo effect. It's a framework, a collection of techniques, many of which will improve your closing ratio drastically over an average joe. It's a call to action and a boot in the ass to get you to make a move. Yes, sometimes you can blame your failures on it and this may be projecting, but that doesn't mean it's always a useless pile of knowledge. Walk into any car dealership in the US and ask to see their "sales board". There's a guy in that dealership right now with a line of cars sold that's massively longer than anyone else working there. He's making nearly 6 figures a year. He's consistent and BETTER than his co-workers because he has learned a system for selling and applies it. If you learn seduction and apply it, you will be more successful than your competition. Simple as that.

Good luck man.

puaCurveBall · 2011-08-01T20:20:45+00:00

Act disinterested is only until they give you a reason to BE interested. So only 5-20minutes.

You want them to see you become interested once they qualify themselves, if you approach with interest they know that you only like their body, and that you are so desperate you'll accept anything regardless of quality.

Regarding rest of post, you are wrong. What seddit is very specifically guilty of is tossing around short tips without understand why or when to use them, like "act disinterested". That isn't seduction in general, and when you understand all the steps involved they merge together very nicely.

Sed5 · 2011-08-01T19:45:18+00:00

We had a discussion on this recently, I'll try to find the links.

j3w · 2011-08-01T21:55:24+00:00

Or maybe I'm completely wrong. I'm having a bad week.

You are completely wrong. There is a roadmap/blueprint but it's entirely personal and you have to blaze that trail yourself. The knowledge base of the PUA community is so you can pick and choose the components that you need when you get stuck.

Every PUA has a different style, so the advice you are getting comes from guys using different maps. So for me, I run cocky funny game. Unless you are quick witted and have solid inner game you can't do cocky funny.

You need to find what map works for you, make your own notes on it and you'll get there.

Whisper · 2011-08-01T23:15:27+00:00

it seems as if Seduction is based on a blueprint that no matter how much you study and follow it doesn't always work but maintains it's legitimacy by always having an explanation for your failure that consists of you failing to follow that blueprint

Seduction isn't based on a blueprint. It's based on the anecdotal experiences of a bunch of twentysomethings with no scientific training.

Every once in a while one of them comes up with a hypothesis that he miscalls a "theory". But he has no ability to systematically test it. So he releases a book or video where he makes some rhetorical arguments to support it, and sounds very convincing indeed in the absence of contradiction.

But seduction information is just that. Information. Experiences. Stories. The unsystematic musings of experts who don't often understand their own skills.

There is much good information out there, but it is up to the student to filter it, integrate it, decide what's appropriate, and come up with something that works for him.

Sorry, but there's no clearly marked road.

2011-08-01T14:44:10+00:00

Wow.

Seduction, relationships, building connections with people is the most complex interaction on the planet. Its hard and complex and because there are a zillion differences between individuals not everything will work all of the time.

Your examples in the "main problem" paragraph are pretty banal. Two of them involve not escalating quickly enough and the other is an example where somebody didn't calibrate according to feedback or build enough comfort.

Title	Feeling skeptical, some thoughts on Seduction
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	6
Date	August 1, 2011 2:16 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/j5p19/feeling_skeptical_some_thoughts_on_seduction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/feeling-skeptical-some-thoughts-on-seduction.1320853 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320853

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