I was a long time lurker, now I shall go on my own self-discovering adventure of trying to connect with people.

I have always been a comedian. Not as a profession, but as a social role. I am funny, I can be charismatic, and I am attractive enough to not really care about it (read: average enough). I am absolutely an introvert though, and most of this is a show. I taught myself how to be social but the result was that social interactions only left me drained. Buckets of alcohol was my socializing method of choice, and apart from those party nights I kept to myself. Part of this is about women and sex, but it's also about connecting with people. I feel trapped within my head, and it churns out a lot of great poetry but I need to smash my mind into someone else's soul or I am going to go crazy with loneliness.

So, day 1. I have to rethink my interactions with women quite a bit. When I do interact with women I tend to be very friendly, funny, comforting, etc. I'm sure they love having me around, but I'm building friend-zone walls for myself. On the other hand though, I often will avoid people in general and be with myself. At a party I am comfortable climbing a tree in the back yard and just thinking. I do like this, but I need to push myself out of that comfort zone if I want any hope of finding someone like me. So, my first goal is direct day approaches.

Tangent #1: I wrecked my voice singing, and I am forced to speak very quite. I can be in bars and restaurants but it usually tires my voice out pretty fast because of the noise. This might not be permanent, but it has been like this for at least a year so I'm just going to deal with it.

Tangent #2: I really wrecked my back a little while ago; I'm in constant pain. I do yoga, swim, sleep well, eat well, etc, but to no avail. I take pain killers daily. This pain really pushes me deep into my head, bringing the introvert out in me.

Okay, so, that's why I'm approaching in the day. I'm aiming for relatively quiet places where I can have a conversation. I know the likelihood of one night stands is lower like this, but I would really like to find some intelligent people who can hold up interesting conversations first and foremost.

So, yes, day 1. For the record, I'm on a university. First I spotted a girl on a field with a starbucks cup. I'm proud of this one actually, I spotted the cup and immediately walked over with an opener. I've never approached a girl with out astounding amounts of hesitation and butterflies. So, I know there is a starbucks on campus but I've actually never seen it and I ask if she can tell me where it is. Turns out she's new and has no clue where she is. This was actually kind of cute, it was almost like she negged herself and it became very comfortable. I found out a little about her, dropped a few jokes that went over well, and asked her name. She was sitting and I was squatting at this point. I shook her hand, introduced myself, and felt a pause in the conversation so I made a gracious exit and left her smiling. That was great, it's actually very relaxing to not have a goal attached to the encounter apart from just meeting them. I think sitting down would have helped a bit though.

Next I went to a book store and met a girl by the English textbooks. I've got some free time and I have been wanting to drop in on some English classes for entertainment. I was just going to peruse the titles and see which classes read interesting books but instead I approached a cute girl by the books and asked for her opinion. She outlined her classes for me and told me which crazy teachers to stay away from. I think I made some joke about classes, she laughed, I got her name, and then feeling a pause I again graciously exited asking her to save me a seat in her class because one of these days I will be there!

Lastly I found myself walking beside a short girl (I'm tall, so I guess everyone is short) and I asked for directions. As you can guess, I knew where I was going already :P She mentioned her classes and I asked further about it but I think she didn't hear me and got awkward from that moment on. I think she was confused, embarrassed, and then wanted to leave. Whoops. :) It was nice being the confident one in that situation though.

So, that's day one. I have opened with strangers! Honestly, I think I'm going to do well at this. I feel like I've spent decades huddled in my head not clearly trying to get what I want. I want to meet women damnt, and that happens today (well... tomorrow...)!

Next time I'm going to try and hold conversations a bit longer. I'm pretty hyperactive and move on quickly, instead I will push myself to connect a bit further and just see where it goes. By the way, I'm just approaching cute girls and that's as far as describing their looks will go. The HB stuff seems silly to me. I'm also trying to cut down on internet use and anything that provides pseudo human interaction, forcing me to go out and find the real thing.

Are people interested in me continuing reports like this? I really have had an epiphany, before this I spent years only occasionally hooking up with someone in a social circle, usually while very drunk. I was going to just journal my progress but I thought others might be interested in a story from day one onwards. Yup. Over-and-out.