Hey folks, I have some new knowledge I'd like to share with Seddit.

Just last week there was a blog posting on Seddit about how the #1 thing guys need to improve to help their game is the love for themselves and in turn their self-esteem.

I promptly ordered the book, The six pillars of self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden from the bottom of the post and I have gotten to reading it over the past few days. I'm not finished yet, I like to let books like these soak in slowly over time, but I've already had numerous life defining epiphanies from this book.

It splits self-esteem into two categories (and I'm paraphrasing here a bit) but it would be self-eficacy and self-respect. Now, self-eficacy is defined as "roughly corresponding to a person's belief in their own competence." This isn't the are where I struggle. I know I'm intelligent, hard-working, and ultimately competent to tackle any challenge.

The main problem for me is my lack of self-respect. It's not that I don't think I'm good enough (most guys here can agree we're just trying to convince girls we really are a catch), but that I expect failure instead of success.

Let's take a simple approach for example. I'll go up to a girl (who I think is out of my league) and in my mind, I'm thinking, well if this girl likes/talks to me/doesn't reject me I'll be happy because I had expected to fail. This is fatally flawed and where I had to do a 180 in my logic. See, the thing is, I should go up to her knowing/confident in my abilities and be surprised when it fails. Then, if rejection happens, I know that its just another part working toward my total success with women which will inevitably come because I'm deserving and worthy of it.

It's like a snowball, if you keep expecting failure, you'll get your success, but ultimately still feel like a failure. If you expect sucess, and have failures, ultimately, you are still a sucess. It's a subtle but fundemental difference in thinking.

I hope this all makes sense and I'm not just ranting and raving. I've still to yet get through the entire book but I'm looking forward to what else it entails. I just had to share this newfound knowledge.

There are many other self-esteem issues that I don't have that are also addressed in the book. Even if you have average self-esteem, this book can help achieve an even higher level and in turn help your game. Please, if you think the problem is with women and not yourself, pick up this book ASAP (I'm guilty of this sometimes myself)

Comments, questions, input, anything would be very much so appreciated, thanks folks.

TL;DR: Expect success not failure, you are worthy and deserving of such. Each failure is just another step toward greater success. Success begats even more success and the same can be said for failure.