I feel like this subreddit misses the point a lot. Am I alone?

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-04-12T02:03:02+00:00

Changing yourself requires you to ask a question as to how much of your integrity you are willing to possibly compromise and insecure people don't understand how valuable their integrity is enough to make an educated decision.

You're making the same sweeping generalizations that are made by PUA critics that have only a superficial understanding of what is going on. This is not about changing yourself into someone else. It's about learning to how to be yourself and show your best qualities to people in a way they can connect with you.

A lot of guys don't get it, but that's why they come here. They know they don't get it, and they're learning it. We deal with inner game, but we also deal with outer game. They are both important.

2012-04-12T00:50:54+00:00

Confidence = attraction. In order to gain confidence you have to make several lifestyle changes and modify your behavior. This means dressing better, eating right, exercising, etc. Everytime I negative thought enters your mind, you lose self confidence. Someone in this subreddit said that he would immediately retract his negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones, even if he didn't feel that way at the time. Eliminate them from your consciousness by not giving them the light of day. Look at yourself in a mirror and tell yourself how badass and cool you are.

For me, the biggest thing is remaining patient. I've always been an introverted nice guy who expects results now. Instant gratification leads to expectations that cannot be meet. I'm improving my self image and getting out more. I've created an OkCupid account and spent several days making it worthwhile. Most importantly of all though, I stopped biting my nails after 15+ years, just from having read and absorbed everything in this subreddit. Have I have f-closed? No, no I have not. With that said, I ask that you take what you need from here. I don't need to pick up chicks at bars and grind them into oblivion on the dance floor. Instead, I'd like to pick up a girl in the supermarket or book store. I'm after forming a bond with a female who I genuinely like as a friend + fucking. I'm trying to get over my approach anxiety.

legowatch · 2012-04-12T11:49:14+00:00

The feeling of confidence can be broken into parts, but it can't be explained to someone in an attempt to make them feel it. You can't learn emotion.

This is true, but you can learn how to create situations where you feel confidence. That is exactly what a lot of the advice on this subreddit gives you - a framework to teach yourself confidence. Take the 'rejection challenge' and suddenly approaching women is no longer scary. Then you make a few openers and after a few, suddenly talking to women isn't all that hard.

No one is explaining the emotion of confidence and magically expecting you to suddenly feel alpha as fuck. But taking action allows you to build confidence in a stepwise fashion.

Four weeks into my journey, I am a MUCH more confident person in many aspects.

The advice here and from other sources provided me with a pathway to change into my best self. Changing myself is not a compromise of my integrity. I am becoming the person I want to be, not the person anyone is telling me to be.

Allowing yourself to remain anything less than your best self is the TRUE compromise of integrity.

2012-04-12T04:08:48+00:00

The problem (or simply one of them) is that the seduction community tells people they need to be confident, and to do that, you need to "accept yourself". Problem is, if you're not confident, it's most likely because you don't like yourself, and if you don't like yourself, you probably have a good reason to, so accepting yourself isn't possible.

Which means, you actually are not "fine the way you are" and you do, in fact, need to become something or someone else.

Geirkrak · 2012-04-11T23:39:23+00:00

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Title	I feel like this subreddit misses the point a lot. Am I alone?
Author	baaaark
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	April 11, 2012 11:11 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s56xu/i_feel_like_this_subreddit_misses_the_point_a_lot/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-feel-like-this-subreddit-misses-the-point-a-lot.1331148 https://theredarchive.com/post/1331148

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