Here's a thought process I use to help keep me calm in social situations where another rival guy's positive attributes generates a negative jealous reaction in me. Maybe it will help you.

The only person you need to impress is yourself.

When that negative reaction comes in, a sinking feeling in the form of - "I need to say something to impress these people, to call attention back to me" - "am I doing enough to be successful?" - "I can't compete with this guy!"

I just take a deep breath and remember that the only person who needs my approval is me. And I just let go of that feeling that I need to do something to impress other people, to get/keep their approval of me. Your success needs to be defined on YOUR terms, not someone else's.

I am impressed with myself, if I am a better person than I was yesterday, no matter how small the improvement.

Making big changes is difficult anyway. You're more likely to reach your goals if they're small, so you can focus on being consistent. Rather than goals being large, and difficult to maintain. Simple things like

  • lifting 5 pounds more than your last workout
  • choosing to ignoring an ex's calls this time, instead of wasting your time on a shouting match
  • resisting a $100 impulse buy
  • dressing a little nicer today

are all reasons for you to be confident in yourself.