The more I hangout with people the more I feel lonely. Why?

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2018-09-17T06:39:19+00:00

Because you don't really trust the people you associate with. As far as I know it's normal to feel alone in a room full of people you don't feel are trustworthy.

Partying has it's place, but so does having close friends who you can really deeply talk to.

You can't trust the people you're hanging around..... because you feel that you can let your guard down- you're consistently worried they'll judge you for the things that make you feel weak and ashamed. This is a toxic outcome expectation. You believe you have to be some kind of Idealized "proper man" rather than doing your own thing.

You can't trust them such that you can express your real feelings like anger, fear, loneliness, without being rejected or judged.

So you're mainly presenting your Public Persona which isn't especially genuine and doesn't reflect your weaknesses as well as strengths.

Note that this kind of vulnerability is different from neediness. The key is to focus on outcome independence.

Neediness is ultimately about outcome expectations. They key to feel more at ease and more connected is to tell personal truth, while letting go of any expectations of other people you're talking to.

falecf4 · 2018-09-17T07:16:56+00:00

Do you know your personality type? Some people think MBTI is not real but I find it a good stepping stone to understanding yourself, even if it is only as a generalization.

I have some trust issues. I am also about 50/50 introvert/extrovert, or ambivert if you will. I have always been different and couldn't seem to socialize the way I see most other doing. I could never understand why I couldn't fit in the same way until I took that damned personality test. I read that thing and it all clicked! It didn't have all the answers but I opened the door for me to see a lot of aspects of myself in a different light.

ENTP, if anyone cares.

trexgomez · 2018-09-17T11:03:18+00:00

Lol this totally hit home. I feel you word to word.

rockyp32 · 2018-09-17T06:00:01+00:00

I not quite sure but what comes to my head is no fap give that a try it might help you it definitley helped my emotions and my solcial life

imtheoneimmortal · 2018-09-17T06:59:17+00:00

You feel lonely but you aren't
Feel and facts are differents

Title	The more I hangout with people the more I feel lonely. Why?
Author	roundof1995
Upvotes	11
Comments	9
Date	September 17, 2018 5:50 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9ghqqk/the_more_i_hangout_with_people_the_more_i_feel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/the-more-i-hangout-with-people-the-more-i-feel.133197 https://theredarchive.com/post/133197

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