So this weekend I went out to a bar/club with several of my friends. There were a bunch of girls there, and they all seemed really interested in my friends. My friends weren't really doing anything but hanging out, drinking, having a good time, etc., and the girls would come up to them and just start talking to them. Obviously they were interested. On the other hand, I would try to talk to the girls, or I'd dance with them briefly, and they always seemed kind of disinterested. This got me really upset and discouraged by the end of the evening, but I know it just means I need to learn how to have better game.

A few thoughts:

  • I didn't really have any material. I would just say hi and start talking. So other than approaching, I wasn't really running game at all. So it's not really surprising this didn't work. I did put my hat on some of them, but I think I did that way too early (had JUST started talking to them... they hadn't "earned it" yet), and didn't do anything else. I don't like the idea of canned game, but I think I need to have a better idea of what to do after I start talking to them.
  • I think my friends ARE more attractive than me, but the girls were probably drawn to the fact that they were just hanging out and having a good time, whereas I seemed more desperate and then was just kind of boring after I started to talk.
  • I DLVed myself several times without realizing it. Only today did I really realize that what I was saying was totally a DLV. So I need to be more careful of this.
  • Still having trouble figuring out how to approach girls in a crowded bar where people are dancing. It just doesn't seem like there's any ability to talk, or what an appropriate thing to say is. Somehow though this wasn't really my problem... I could start talking to girls, but just didn't know where to bring it from there.

Any thoughts on this are welcome. In particular, some advice for what to do after I have begun to approach is good. It seems like people are into "direct game" now, but I'm not really sure what that means I'm supposed to do. Because obviously I have not learned enough about game to just naturally be attractive once I've approached. So what should I do once I have started to talk to the girl? Am I supposed to DHV somehow, or just do C/F, or push-pull, or what?