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Is it a bad idea to invite out multiple women whom I'm interested in to the same event?

[deleted]

June 27, 2012

0 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Is it a bad idea to invite out multiple women whom I'm interested in to the same event?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	June 27, 2012 8:54 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vpdo2/is_it_a_bad_idea_to_invite_out_multiple_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-a-bad-idea-to-invite-out-multiple-women-whom.1334744 https://theredarchive.com/post/1334744

Comments

[–]puaCurveBall 5 points6 points7 points 14 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

This all depends if the girls know you are talking to other girls and are cool being in the situation where you might be hooking up with others girls the same weekend.

This isn't about being "exclusive" or "what you can get away with", this is about putting girls you supposedly care about into a potentially uncomfortable situation without telling them about it beforehand. Not cool.

Personally, all the girls I'm talking to know Im dating other girls (and are cool with it, or are even bisexual and interested in eachother as well). There would be no problem organizing a weekend like this (in fact I have something like this planned for Sat)... it is no problem because I talked with everyone involved and everyone is on the same page and comfortable with it.

But yeah, if you invite multiple girls you have been flirty with and they believe they have a shot with you, and you end up making out with another girl there, expect the worse: hurt feelings and a lot of drama.

You have to decide if the risk is worth the minor cost associated with just discussing it with them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]puaCurveBall 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

Yeah it is difficult, but it is communicating like ADULTS.

Seriously, pickup is 500x easier once you learn to just fucking communicate instead of being scared of accidentally coming across like you assume something that 99% of people would assume.

Ok, so first off, this would be a lot easier if you were clearly framing your intentions / lifestyle to the girls as you meet them. Being comfortable talking about being interested in eachother is huge. You wouldn't even have to write this post, if right from the start you weren't hiding things.

Don't you see it as a problem that you fear it would be a negative thing if you just clearly stated you were interested in someone?

It is rationalizing bullshit, because if she isn't interested in you then saying something like "Hey, you seem like you are sending me signals that you like me" isn't a problem, because she will say "oh I only see you as a friend, sorry to give you that impression", then you would say "Ok cool lets have a beer" and everything is hunky dory.

However, if she is interested, then saying that would simply bring up the conversation and would only be positive. There is no case where you are going to seriously offend anyone. You simply don't want to fuck things up by giving her the change to reject you, this is going to hurt your overall success.(and happiness)

How do you think it would go to just say "This weekend is going to be awesome, I'm inviting 5 girls that I'm hoping to have tons of sex with!!!" This is a fine conversation for a friend, but clearly not for these girls. You have to decide if you are going to interact with these girls as romantic interest or just friends, you cannot have it both ways.

Don't presume anything, talk about your own intentions rather than what you think about her.

At the VERY least, say something about having a girl invited that you have some history with, and are just warning her in case she sees some drama. This avoids "presuming" anything, when she presses tell her you are talking to the girl currently.

I think you should just say "hey fyi there is going to be a girl this weekend I've been talking to." Then she can either just accept it, or push you asking why you are telling her that, then you can tell her because you wanted to make sure she was comfortable. If she pushes, tell her you were getting vibe that she likes you, and you like her too.

You shouldn't have to be scared of simply calling a spade a spade. If she is into you back, then great.. if not, then you avoided ambiguity and still have other girls that weekend.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Just want to point out that I haven't been hiding things from these girls. I'm VERY clear about my intentions and straight-forward as a person in general. However, the reason I was thinking it would be presumptuous to say something like that is because some of the girls I've only talked with on a few separate occasions briefly. I think it would be pretty odd to have mentioned to a girl that I've only talked with a few times that I'm dating around/not exclusive/etc. when there is no good reason nor moment to have properly talked about that yet. When there's a time that feels natural to bring that up I will. All I would be thinking if a guy I'm just getting to know/used to know said that to me is, "Why the hell is he telling me this? Does he think I like him or what?" I would agree that if these were girls that I'd been hanging with and talking with for some time that it would probably be a good idea to mention the situation, but most if not all of them are still relatively recent encounters (excluding two that are old friends that I hadn't seen in a few years until just recently). I'm not trying to bash your advice, but I'm getting the feeling that you think I've been chatting with/hanging out with these girls long enough to have made a serious impression with them. Maybe I shouldn't be inviting these girls out to a group event since they're still not that familiar with me? I figured it would be a no-pressure situation to get to know them better/escalate attraction since we would be around people but maybe I'm wrong and I need to have a one-on-one hang out first..I'd appreciate further input if you have the patience haha

[–]puaCurveBall 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]puaCurveBall 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]puaCurveBall 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]edgar_alan_bro 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link