DJ Fuji just let out an amazing post on congruence - The Congruence Paradox

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-07-03T17:30:18+00:00

I don't think DJF understands congruence at all. He's just looking for a way to differentiate his own teachings from those of the Mystery Method. That is just about the most common Pro PUA marketing pitch I know of. It just goes to show you how little they differ from the original MM system. They're selling the same old product in a new bottle, and saying "look at this new bottle!" to misdirect you from the glaringly obvious fact that it's the exact same product.

I just have to laugh about his little rant. I mean, seriously, telling everyone about how he is congruent with his mohawk hair style? DJF's natural hair style is a MULLET. Business up front, party in the back!

Let me tell you a mohawk congruence story. One day when I was living in San Francisco around 1992, I went to a job interview. Usually I go for a full business suit, which I wore every day at my previous job in LA, but that didn't seem to go over so well in the more casual SF business atmosphere. So I dressed more casually, more congruently with who I was as a person than as a businessman.

I took the bus home, and got off the bus at my stop in the Lower Haight at about 6PM. It usually starts to get a little crazier in the neighborhood as the evening picks up, with the usual street crazies hanging about. So I was walking towards my apartment, it was about 2 blocks away, when a kid who appeared to be about 18 years old, came up and got in my face. He started yelling at me, "You can't go walking down the street dressed like that, they will KILL you!" I just snorted at him, "I live here, do you?" and kept walking.

Now the funny thing was, I was wearing dressy black pants and an expensive (but understated) designer white short sleeve shirt. And the kid was dressed as a punk, he had dirty jeans with chains attached, a leather jacket with a huge skull logo and the band name "Corrosion of Conformity" painted on the back, and he had a pointy mohawk. He was obviously stoned, aggressive, and just the image of what I was like in 1977 when I had a mohawk and dressed just like that.

So here I was, being confronted by a kid wearing an anachronistic punk clothing style from 15 years ago, the style I hadn't worn for many years. There was not one single 18 year old on earth in 1992 who was congruent with wearing a punk clothing style that was popular when he was 4 years old. He was just hanging out on the street where I lived, and he thought he defined the neighborhood's character, more so than the people who actually lived there. He called me incongruent with my own neighborhood! And who is this "they" that are going to kill me? My neighbors, who are all pretty much just like me? Him and his invisible army of nonconformist countercultural compliance police?

I listened to a couple of hours of materials from Mystery just on congruence alone. He described one of his famous DHV stories, and then described how one of his students went out and used the exact same story and the woman listened patiently through the whole thing, then told him "that's bullshit!" and walked away. The student was incongruent with the story and sent a subcommunication that he was lying, while Mystery's story was congruent with his personality. Your story has to be congruent with who you are. You can even get away with blatant lies, as long as they are congruent. He used the example, you can talk about just getting back from your trip to Europe, even if you didn't get back last week, you got back 5 years ago. You are congruent with the stories from the trip because they really happened to you.

DJF does not understand this. He is talking about peacocking as it is relevant to congruence. They have nothing to do with each other. The whole point of peacocking is that you draw attention by wearing something incongruous. Note: the opposite of congruent is not in-congruent, it is incongruous. It means something out of place, or inharmonious with the situation. You're wearing something precisely because it is incongruous, it sticks out and draws attention.

Now part of peacocking is that you wear the incongruous item as if you are congruent with it. That is a general fashion style. If you wear something and look uncomfortable wearing it, you look bad. Always. You have to look as if you own that look. But your look can change from day to day. I have expensive business suits, I wore them for years and I have refined the look and I feel comfortable wearing them. I used to come home from work and my girlfriend would tell me to take off my tie and relax, and I'd say, "I am relaxed, I like wearing a tie." Then I have my punk rock look. Yes, I still get to wear it and you don't, not unless you were wearing it in 1977 when it was appropriate. I am still congruent with being a punk rocker. I can wear a tattered leather jacket and black jeans, but since I can afford it, it's a tattered, expensive leather jacket and black designer jeans I have worn for 15 years, and my vintage 20 year old Doc Martens. And then I have a business casual look, wearing khaki pants and a nice casual shirt with a collar. I never wear t shirts because I don't think you're properly dressed unless your shirt has an actual collar.

So I will tell you of my first encounter with fashion congruency. It was about 1977, yeah, the height of my punk rock days. My mom ran a clothing shop, and she gave me a really expensive silk shirt. I told her I don't wear things like this, because they're dry clean only, it's too much care for just a shirt that I'm going to sweat up and get dirty. She told me, go ahead and wear it and sweat it up and get it dirty. That's the point. You wear it like you are supposed to be wearing a $200 silk shirt, just like you would wear a $5 t shirt. So I did. It looked great, even under my grubby leather jacket. And yeah it was a pain in the ass paying for dry cleaning. But it made me stand out from all the other punks wearing cheap t shirts. You know, now that I think of it, I was wearing that silk shirt around the time I attracted my first long term girlfriend, the hot blonde cougar 20 years older than me. Maybe my fashion sense attracted her.

Anyway, the point is, congruence is about being harmonious with who you are in the moment. If you have some confabulated thing, like some incongruous hairstyle that died out 15 years ago, there is no situation that it will ever be congruent. The best you can do is be congruent with the obvious problem, that you are a fashion tragedy. You can pull that off. But you can't pull off being a DJ with a mohawk, when you aren't a DJ, and you have a mullet.

Title	DJ Fuji just let out an amazing post on congruence - The Congruence Paradox
Author	MARSpu
Upvotes	0
Comments	2
Date	July 3, 2012 9:50 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vz0cx/dj_fuji_just_let_out_an_amazing_post_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dj-fuji-just-let-out-an-amazing-post-on-congruence.1335097 https://theredarchive.com/post/1335097

Comments