[fail report] Girl at a clothing store I've been casually talking to. What should I have done differently?

luis3ep · 2012-07-25T23:19:07+00:00

at least you have the courage part mate, it'll only get easier for you now.

sakuyuichiro · 2012-07-26T00:22:57+00:00

Sometimes a girl says "I have a boyfriend" to reduce the pain of rejection and sometimes it is true, but that is the period where you make or break yourself. When a girl says "I have a bf" to me I give her a quick and solid "Want to cheat?" or "I have a goldfish, so what?" reply. It usually works, just be witty and keep the air good. Even if she really has a bf she can be a lead to other girls or if they break up you can re-establish attraction and go after her again.

HumanSockPuppet · 2012-07-26T07:43:19+00:00

Let's break this down.

Then sometimes she would be cashiering, and whenever it came to signing the receipt I'd draw a stupid doodle.

This is awesome. I actually do the same thing with receipts at restaurants I go to regularly. It gets me awesome service on repeat visits.

I used strong eye contact all the time and her eyes sparkled. It seemed she was interested that day. I should have went for it.

If it felt like the right time, it probably was. But I understand completely. Fighting your fear and letting impulse and instinct take over is one of the first truly-challenging hurdles you'll ever have to clear when working on seduction, especially if you're the analytical type.

Learn to trust those instincts, and remember that rejection isn't the worst thing in the world.

I saw her and said I had to talk to her that day.

First mistake. Your visit to the store should be about buying clothes, and your interactions with her should be a spontaneous bonus. Women are not the most important things in your life.

I told her, I'm just asking you to be my friend(very weak, I should have told her im not marrying her)

Bigger mistake. Never back pedal on anything you say, even if it leads to a rejection. Don't apologize for what you want. If the two of you don't see eye to eye, then that's fine. Nothing is exchanged. But there is nothing wrong with liking what you like and reaching for what you want.

I suspect her bf is recent.

Maybe, maybe not.

When a girl mentions her boyfriend, it's not always because she has one. More often, it's because you gave her a reason to mention him.

I tend to immediately just leave and quit in my head once I hear "boyfriend"...and I hear the boyfriend card used sometimes, and I suspect it's a shit test..but I never challenge it. My game immediatly shuts off once I hear bf, I feel odd and just turn around and leave. I need to work on this.

Definitely. Try toying with the idea of making fun of a girl if she ever mentions her boyfriend. There are some really good one-liners that have been posted here in the past: things like "Oh I have a boyfriend too, I bet mine's cuter" in the gayest voice you can imitate. The goal needn't be to win her over in spite of her relationship, but to have fun and tease her. If you leave a good impression on her when she's in a relationship, then her thoughts will run to you if ever that relationship should end.

You seem to have a good grasp on where your problems are, and that's good. Self-awareness is critical to improvement. Keep going out, keep gaming, and remember: no shame, and no apologies!

2012-07-25T23:13:11+00:00

First of all don't feel too gutted. She had a boyfriend, not the end of the world. Don't take that as a reason to completely stop. If you happen to be around her next time, flirt away without a care.

Secondly, hired guns! Be careful with them. They are paid to be nice to you, it's always harder to gauge how much interest they have in you. But she wasn't repulsed or anything.

Perhaps a bit more bantering first before pulling out the big guns (like shooting for the number close). I prefer to get her laughing a decent amount and thinking of me fondly (and sexually) before shooting for a n-close.

Seems like you got good practice in to me. Don't be discouraged. More daygame approaches would do you good. (Actually they'll do anyone good)

2012-07-26T07:52:03+00:00

First off - well done! It takes balls to ask a girl for her number when she's with a friend!

I suspected from when you said that she was a bit more standoff-ish a few weeks later that it might be because she met someone. Whether it is her boyfriend or not is irrelevant.

Just remember, you can't do it as badly as I did (more unlucky really)... About a year ago I would chat to the girl who worked in the shop I went for lunch every day. She was really friendly, we'd have fun etc. Anyway, I finally pick up my courage to get her number... Turns out she was going out with the manager/owner, who I also spoke to a lot, and was in the shop at the time.

Title	[fail report] Girl at a clothing store I've been casually talking to. What should I have done differently?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	8
Date	July 25, 2012 11:02 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x5p73/fail_report_girl_at_a_clothing_store_ive_been/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fail-report-girl-at-a-clothing-store-ive-been.1336187 https://theredarchive.com/post/1336187

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