Is it really beneficial to fail to reach a primary goal in your life and then inevitably reframe things so that you can get to sleep at night?

JimmyNic · 2012-08-14T23:35:48+00:00

Results take up a low percentage of your life experiences. For years of study you get one graduation day. Months of work leads to one product launch. Pickup involves a huge number of approaches compared to the number of lays. To get good at something you have to fall in love with process, not results.

Let's say I'm a dorky guy living in my Mum's basement. I start reading about this pickup business. 3 months later I've still not got laid, but I've started working out and am already seeing results. I've improved my diet and stopped staying up til 4am, and I'm more energetic for it. I've started reading regularly. I've even picked myself up a few hobbies. And I've approached some girls, been on nights out and met some great friends.

Is this man closer to getting laid? Undoubtedly. Even if he hadn't done a single approach he'd still arguably be closer by the spillover effect from his other efforts. If we forget the goal he's objectively better off by most standards.

But let's now say that the dorky guy in his Mum's basement hasn't changed a thing about his life, and has merely reframed it. Without action he will never get anywhere, and if his mindset has pushed him away from action he has adopted the wrong mindset.

Deep, down in the pit of their soul they know that there is still a gaping whole in their lives.

Do they know this, or do you know it? Have you projected your own inadequacy onto others, assuming that what is true for you must be ubiquitous?

Parasthesia · 2012-08-15T03:11:05+00:00

What I've taken from the concept is that reframing doesn't change anything, it's about taking a step back, acknowledging what's real and what's made up in your mind, and where to go from there. You're not in denial about anything.

Title	Is it really beneficial to fail to reach a primary goal in your life and then inevitably reframe things so that you can get to sleep at night?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	August 14, 2012 10:51 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/y89n5/is_it_really_beneficial_to_fail_to_reach_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-really-beneficial-to-fail-to-reach-a-primary.1337283 https://theredarchive.com/post/1337283

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