Since this is my first FR, I'll start with a bit about myself. I'm mostly doing this to journal my own progress and keep myself on track. That being said, I hope to give back as much as I can through these, but I'm still in a super beginner phase right now so bear with me.

About me

I grew up in a conservative, Christian home where sex was the ultimate taboo. I kissed one girl in high school and had no girlfriends. In college, I went to an engineering school and used the convenient "there are no girls here" excuse to soothe my ego for the next few years. Senior year, a girl fell into my lap leading to my first relationship and losing my virginity. She inevitably broke up with me after a few months, I had no idea how to be a man in a relationship. Going through the break up, I was devastated and depressed, but I found this community and a few months later, here I am.

Last night

I just moved to a large city with great nightlife, a complete change from the engineering school I was at for the last four years. Last night, I was sitting in my room reading seddit and "working on inner game". It's true that my inner game needs tons of work, but after months of learning to meditate and trying to reinforce the same ideals I felt like I was just sitting around jerking myself mentally, so I said fuck it. I called my buddy and told him to meet me at a lounge downtown.

I was in a terrible mood when I got there. I was so nervous. What if my friend doesn't show up? What if I get there and it's all douchebags? I should say downtown in my city has a very high population of dudebros, another excuse I was making to stay at home in my comfort zone. But instead of driving down, I took a cab. This forced me go or literally pay the price of turning around.

I got downtown and met up with my buddy. He's fairly confident with women but he can't approach. After getting a drink to calm my nerves, I stood next to the bar with my buddy awkwardly looking around. Finally, I just said fuck it. I saw a group of three girls sitting down on a bench and I walked up and just said "Hey, how's your night been?" It helped that they were a HB4, HB5, and HB7, so I wasn't intimidated when I started talking to the HB4/5. Nothing came of it, the HB7 was in a pissy mood due to a broken finger earlier that day, so no #-close. The point is, I got the ball rolling instead of sitting around at the bar.

Moved to the next bar where again instead of sitting around I forced myself to approach a group of girls. This time, it was a large group of about 6 girls at the bar. I approach a HB7 with something about her shirt (rugby) and immediately she was touching my arm and asking me questions. Unfortunately, my friend came in after a few minutes and said something that offended her and blew me out of the set. I don't think it was on purpose, but I may have to make sure he's in a set before I do something next time, or go out alone. Either way, him piggybacking on my approaches was a problem all night. At this point, a HB5 approached me and eventually tried to k-close me, she was a cool girl talking to her (and stone cold sober, strangely enough), but I just wasn't attracted to her. Still good practice conversing and finding where I need to improve.

Last bar we hit, I start talking with a HB9 and a HB7. They both have bfs, but me and the HB7 hit things off. She's really cool and brings me to her flat on the 18th floor of a building downtown. Great view of the mountains and city, cool girl, and she smoked me out. I'm not against making girl friends and she may have hot single friends. Spent the rest of the night chilling there and then cabbed it back home.

Lessons learned

Guys, there is no replacement for going out. Sure, I didn't get any numbers from single girls, but I learned a lot.

  1. Force yourself to go out, use tricks if you must to overpower and shut down your lazy excuses. Once you get the ball rolling, things get easier.

  2. Be aware of what your friends are doing. My buddy is a cool guy, but I don't know that I'll go out with him again because he always waited for me to approach and then came in and went for the girls I was talking to, usually blowing us both out (happened with the HB9 at the last bar as well, luckily the HB7 didn't care).

  3. I have bad AA, the first approach I did was much easier because I approached a few uglier girls and got some momentum going. I wasn't interested so it was easier to be outcome independent, so it was great warming up and excellent practice. This was also true with the HB5 that wanted to k-close me later, but she approached me.

My areas for improvement

  1. Turning the conversation past small talk quicker
  2. Being more confident in approaching hotter girls
  3. Noticing shit tests, which goes along with #1. I'm still a bit stuck in the straightforward answer mode during small talk.
  4. Showing sexual interest.

tl;dr Forced myself to go out for the first time. Successfully approached and found out what areas I need improvement on and made a potentially cool girl friend.