Im 19 been gaming for over a year. Only day game but my game isn't the problem (even tho it could use some work) I love going out gaming but I find that to be my top priority to get everything right. And everything else I don't care much for, im in school I love being there and I have good marks but its because I get help. I lack initiative. Im very lazy unless I want to go out and game.

I don't have a job. The idea for working for someone else and putting up with their bullshit(I never liked my past bosses), I know I need a job but the economy in my city is hard and barely anyone my age can find a job, they end up moving to another city and they do well. I can't go out looking for a job because I know I'll come back empty handed.

I wanted to do YouTube videos so I can work for myself. I but im too scared. Or lazy or just lack a certain spark to press record and act. Im not a shy person but something about getting out of my comfort zone to improve myself. Im afraid of change. Im afraid of making my own decisions. I rather sit down on the couch and do nothing even though I hate myself for doing that.

I want to improve myself I want to have more initiative I want to be on my own. But I don't know how to get over the hump of actually doing it.