I've recently had a breakthrough on how to effectively handle a majority of my approach anxiety and wanted to share that with Seddit. I know we all have trouble with anxiety from time to time. For me, I've always had inherent fears of going up to women, what to say to them, if they'll like me, fear of kinoing, performance anxiety, and so on. These are in addition to anxiety I also have felt on a daily basis; constantly fearing things before they happened.

I recently read a few books for inspiration on how to get rid of some anxiety, among them, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It has a simple message of living in the present and not letting your mind control your life. We often worry about the future and fear that the worst-case scenario will occur. Panic attacks and anxiety in general are based around fears and unwanted scenarios coming true. But Tolle explains that the future is out of your control. All that you can control is right now; you have no idea what is going to happen later on until that becomes the present. So why worry beforehand when you're stuck in the present?

So what does this have to do with approach anxiety? Everything. If you're walking down the street, see an absolutely gorgeous woman but anxiety and fear hits you and prevents you from saying hi, ask yourself why. You're afraid because she might reject you, maybe even blow you out. But if you stop playing the what-if game and just stay in the present, don't put any negative scenarios into your head, and say hi with a positive attitude, who knows what will happen? We all know rejection happens sometimes. But I think some rejections here and there are worth the price if it means some success too. Or if you let anxiety control you, you will never get blown out or rejected, but that's because you won't approach any girls.

So next time you get the butterflies from thinking about going up to that cute girl, escalating with that girl at the bar, or worrying about how you'll do in bed, etc, just remember to stay in the present. No one can predict the future, and when you think about it, it's insane that we are constantly putting negative thoughts into our heads.

Also, I highly recommend "The Power of Now". I think it's a great read it everyone can at least take a useful idea or tip out of it.