Dealing with people who don't like you but are a part of your daily life

tagged4life · 2013-04-06T03:45:51+00:00

well looks like you're gonna have to burn some bridges. don't worry about being nice, worry about what's doing right for you, and bare in mind that doesn't make you a bad person. I probably had similar situations to you and it was by being nice and passive that made things worse

assert yourself and don't back down, it's the only way

AlwaysCorrects · 2013-04-06T05:03:12+00:00

Just don't let him ruffle your feathers. Keep yourself calm and detached from him. Maybe act like his behavior is somewhat confusing and DO NOT ATTACK DIRECTLY. Pity this person in your mind to have a higher mental state. This WILL translate over and people will notice who's the bigger person and who's just being childish.

RedSeddit · 2013-04-06T03:46:58+00:00

You have to destroy them verbally like you would an AMOG.

texture · 2013-04-06T08:36:36+00:00

Don't worry about seeming weak - life is not a competition between you and other people. It's a competition for you to be the best person you can be. Staying true to yourself and not letting other people's behavior change you is important. You can't be a shittier person just because someone else is shitty - you aren't going to change them, simply focus on staying strong and changing their behavior towards you.

So feel free to be the nice guy you are to anyone else. Ask the person to do tiny favors for you. Even if it's something as tiny as picking up a piece of paper and handing it to you or borrowing a pencil. Get into the habit of always being as nice to them as you would be anyone else, but focus on getting as much out of them and giving them as little as possible. That means you act nice, but you don't really do nice things for them. You aren't friends, there's no reason to extend yourself in any way to them. But if they get in the habit of doing favors for you, even starting with tiny favors they don't realize, they will slowly stop being a dick and start being useful, which is really what you want when you say "allies". Allies aren't just people who like you - they're anyone you have the power to get to do what you want them to - whether because they consciously like you or because they subconsciously submit to your will.

Practice visualization - imagine them being a dick to you, imagine yourself smiling and letting it slide off your back. It is very hard for people to maintain this kind of behavior against someone who is being nice to them. Other people notice and it makes them look like a dick. They can't stand that.

If all fails and they continue to be a dick bring it up point blank. Smile at them and say, "I notice you always do (x). I feel like you're intentionally being disrespectful and trying to belittle me. What's up with that?" Most people can't handle this kind of confrontation. If they deny it they have just had to say out loud that they're not trying to fuck with you, and they will want to remain consistent, and will stop. If they don't stop bring it up again.

You don't have to be a dick to solve this problem - far from it in fact. But you do have to be assertive.

2013-04-06T06:01:40+00:00

Re-frame every situation that you are in with him, when he tries to piss you off, smile, and say "cute". Always give him a little smirk, like you find his little games are nothing more but amusing to you and that he's nothing more than a little chode. Laugh at him when he tries to be aggressive, then tell him how amusing it is to you to see him try to deal with his insecurities. Don't lose your cool, always be the calm headed one, show that you can't be phased. It shows that you're higher value to other people.

Jake_STi-RA · 2013-04-06T03:21:56+00:00

Well, in my experience, that line of being that angry jackass trying to defend yourself or the chump that lets himself get picked on to look like the funny guy is pretty fine.

My point is, it's hard to find that balance. I guess you'll get bullied by some and get angry at others.

2013-04-06T09:51:51+00:00

Assuming you're in high school. The solution you seek doesn't exist. The level of maturity that is required to resolve this situation non-violently just isn't there yet. You have to put up your dukes. You might get your ass kicked, but no shame in that. You can't ally with someone who looks down on you, you'll regret that forever. Don't know how old you are, but you can't burn a bridge before 30, so stick it to that dickhole!

Flexappeal · 2013-04-06T15:21:17+00:00

Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you, or are huge cunts. You know what's more pathetic than how he makes you look? Him trying to make you look pathetic.

deletedLink · 2013-04-06T15:37:58+00:00

I like the verbal equivalent of "U MAD BRO?"

Just simply saying, "I see you're upset about that."

Then just proceed about your business as if nothing happened.

2013-04-08T12:08:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Dealing with people who don't like you but are a part of your daily life
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	16
Comments	25
Date	April 6, 2013 2:39 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1bry1q/dealing_with_people_who_dont_like_you_but_are_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dealing-with-people-who-dont-like-you-but-are-a.1350165 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350165

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