Hey everyone, so a few weeks back I decided to change the way I interact with the world. My first sticking point was approach, and I have been working tirelessly to approach as many people, men and women to get some experience... Tonight there was a neighborhood event (my neighborhood is in the center of Pittsburgh) with live music and there were so many people there it was absurd. The setting was also incredibly social! I have decided to post up some of my approaches as a form of diary and to get input.

I want to focus on three specific approaches:

  • Beautiful hipster woman who actually approached me with a silly question
  • Incredibly fashionable single woman, who turned out to have beautiful eyes
  • Two women, one of which I connected with turned out be engaged

Stories:

Hipster Girl:

This started off with me meeting two friends who came in from out of town. They were sitting at a two person bench and I sat down across from them. This beautiful hipster girl walked up to me and asked me if I knew why there were chairs in a nearby parking lot. My reaction was to instantly scoot over on the bench giving her room to sit down, and of course she sat down.

We talked for a while about what she was doing in the area and had a few laughs but I felt like she wasn't doing a lot of talking. I tried to increase the conversation value by discussing travelling. She brought up that she traveled a little, but never out of the country. More specifically though she brought up that her boyfriend is from Italy but she doesn't want to meet his grand parents. From here I did my best to make the boyfriend look bad, "Where is he now?" "Why isn't he enjoying this awesome night with you?" .. It worked (I think?) she was talking badly about him quickly. HOWEVER, I could not escalate, I really wanted to. I tried some light kino... honestly only once I touched her arm, I just don't know how to escalate. But I turned my body to face her in an open manner. After a while though I wasn't feeling it so I excused myself... She disappeared really fast.

Fashionable Woman:

She walked by a few times while I was hanging with my friends, I instantly noticed her because her clothes were different. She wore sunglasses with a fuck off attitude plastered across her face. She was standing alone though against a wall, so I think she was just trying to hold it together. I walked up making sure to not come from her side but not directly at her, said "Hey who are you waiting for." I stood to her side. Real cold answer, "My friends." She wouldn't face me. I tried another opener, "Have you been to this event before?", "No", "Do you know any of the bands", "No", "I'm glad you said that, hipsters these days are always saying they know bands when they really don't." Small giggle, "Yeah." .. I'm thinking I'm sinking... Need to add value, so I move from her side and stand in front of her, closer, "So I came up because I know you're not from Pittsburgh." Real laugh, "Why?", "You dress too well" .. Enter explosion of talk from this cold girl, I learn a lot about her passions without even asking. We talked about fashion, the world, cities, cultures, food.

She's still wearing glasses, "I can't tell if you're looking at me." She smiles, I stare, she removes her sunglasses slowly. Blue eyes. "Wow, now that caught me off guard, your eyes are amazing." I've never seen someone turn so red... She asks, "Whats your name"... This is the first time a girl has asked me my name, talk about IoI. More discussion, turns out she's leaving the city in a month. I start trying to escalate, touching her arm and moving closer. Eventually I say, "I want to get coffee with you sometime." "When", I stare at her and say "well obviously in the next month." She laughs and we schedule a date on Monday, I get her number. I excuse myself... cloud nine right now

Engaged Women:

I'm in line with friends to get a burger. These two women are sitting on a bench next to me next to an old woman and her granddaughter. The old women gets up tells them to spread out to save her seat. They laugh and agree. I jump in after the elderly lady leaves and say how kind of them. Immediately I sit down on the bench, "I'll help." Laughs, I'm in. At this point, I'm thinking to myself, converse and escalate, don't forget to escalate. This time I also finally have a wing with me, and he manages to distract the none interesting woman (funny she was probably not engaged). We talked for a while, I move closer. Start with more arm kino... I really don't know other kinno aaahhh ... Anyways she's eastern european like me, tons of easy going discussion on this. I just guide the conversation while she talks. I straddle the bench, facing her, no longer side by side.

They're waiting for friends, they're about to have a birthday party. Birthday girl shows up after a while, mid conversation instantly interrupted. I felt like I couldn't interrupt her while she say her birthday friend, it would be too rude. But I also can't sit around like a puppy. I wait for about thirty seconds and have an opening, "Hey [shawty], it was really nice to meet you, I'ld love to meet up with you again.", "aww, I would but I'm engaged.", "Of course you are, all the good ones are taken, it was a pleasure to meet you." (Warm good-bye concept.) As I'm leaving her friend goes, "Ohh Shot doowwwwnn." I turn around, come closer and say "You gotta take risks otherwise you'll never learn to fly", Smile, Group laughs, I leave...

Thoughts:

Women love talking... holy shit, and I'm actually good at it!?! I travel and read a lot so I just realized I can add value. Some girls I have trouble talking with, but I feel it's because they have nothing to contribute. Or are too shy to open up. I have my next major sticking points, attraction and escalation. I can't wait to practice these concepts more. I need to get better at light banter, my conversations are too serious, too indepth. Sometimes this works for me other times it bores people. For women "targets", that's okay since I'm not interested in those women, but I'm not doing this for pussy. I want to know how to connect with people, all people, even the duller ones. The ability to motivate and comprehend the people around us enables us to succeed on levels others don't. Lastly, I've decided I love women's laughs: the standard ones, the annoying ones, the quiet ones, the cute ones ... they're all intoxicating and say so much about the person.

Random Questions:

  • Why do girls love when you mention they're best friends?
  • How do I escalate?