I did my first bar approach today. My whole life I've been meeting women on online dating sites and moving quickly into relationships, even when we're not a great fit. Single now and living on my own, I decided I would try doing the casual thing, and as a part of that, see if I can meet women in a bar.

Brought my laptop to get some work done, and did. Then liquid-couraged myself up.

It was sets everywhere and couples, which I suppose is par for the course in your average pub. Saw a few sets but was not in state, drank more and relocated to a booth near the bar, using my laptop as a prop/excuse for hanging out near the bar.

Saw a set of three and found my target. Followed the three-second rule, put my laptop to sleep, put it in my bag, got up and approached - last second, I had major AA and continued past them to the washroom. No biggie.

Returned to my previous outpost, got invited to a show at the adjacent bar by a band member (he asked everybody), he asked why I kept relocating around the bar, talked to him a bit and loosened up and told him what I was up to, shared some laughs, went to the show, but there were no women there so I returned to the bar to pay my tab.

Big set (6 or 7) right near the bar, all crowded around the table. Instead of closing my tab, I get another beer and walk up to the table and open with "Hey, can I join you ladies?" Immediately shot down, mostly jokingly. I joked "Come on! I told myself I would approach some women tonight" and the two nearest me laughed (I think) and I sat with them. Quickly found my target, and explained to her and her friend that I "came to the bar to get some work done, but am now way too drunk to get stuff done". Turns out the set all works together. One of the set returned and asked her friends to get a drink with her. I offered to buy her a drink, did so, talked a little bit, returned to my target, asked if she was in school, talked about that a bit, and then told them I was glad I met them and gave my target my number.

Many mistakes made: no kino, conversation was not fluid, nothing in common (the guy that invited me to the show kept using my name in conversation which wigged me out - a good conversation piece), didn't ask for my target's name, gave her my number instead of the reverse, asked for the number too quickly, left the set too early, had a weak open, opened with basically "I'm drunk, can I hang out with you" which cannot possibly be attractive, etc.

Is this what a first approach is like for most people? I feel good, but I definitely froze up and lost a lot of my creativity once I had opened and I felt like I wasn't getting many IOI's.

Despite this, I feel like I got "over the hump" by getting over the fear of making my first approach. Hopefully this gets better with practice!