I have serious AA..Help?

Pit_Sweat · 2013-11-27T23:57:53+00:00

A lot of guys combine approaching with seduction in their heads, and that's scary, too much pressure, and they back off. There's a video out there, I have no idea how to find it now so I'll just describe it to you. It goes something like this:

Guy sees cute girl. Guy wants to approach. Internal monologue kicks in: gotta approach the girl, gotta pass her shit tests, gotta appear fun and happy, gotta plan dates, gotta go on dates, gotta escalate, gotta try to get in her pants, might get shot down, and if I don't get shot down, do I wanna marry this girl anyway? Am I ready for that? This is probably not worth the trouble. Guy doesn't approach, and pretty much shot himself down before he got anywhere.

Have you ever talked to a stranger? Not just cute girls, but any stranger at all? Bus drivers, cashiers, janitors, random people? Those were all approaches. A simple "Hey do you have the time?" is an approach. "Am I in the right class?" is an approach. "Where is the bathroom?" is an approach. "How are you" is an approach. The only difference is, you had no intention of holding a conversation after that, which makes them less scary.

So don't think so much. Break the barrier for the sake of breaking the barrier, not to have a conversation or get a number or get laid or whatever. Practice that. That's how I got over my AA. I would start random conversations with girls, and then I would eject from the conversation and go on my own way. I wasn't there to make anything of it, and I learned that that's where 90% of the anxiety comes from. Approaching is easy, seduction is not, but you won't even get a chance if you don't approach in the first place. Hope this made sense, feel free to ask me any specific questions.

ThatGuy_Anon · 2013-11-27T20:59:36+00:00

If i can say "hi" and break the barrier, from that point i am OK. i am able to smile normally, talk, ask her out... The only prob is the aproach..

So the only thing you are having trouble with is saying "hi" but you can do everything else? Think of this way, you only have to be brave for a second and the rest will take care of itself.

walker_stalker · 2013-11-27T18:41:02+00:00

I also have AA, but the way I got over it was by "finding myself" so to speak. I never had to much confidence in thinking that I was attractive, until I asked one of my girl friends in high school, "Do you think I look good?" and much to my surprise she said that a lot of girls talk about me, like not the whole school or anything like that, but a lot of girls she knew thought I was attractive. After that I went through a bad breakup, and started going to the gym. Thank god I started going to the gym, I had so much more confidence in myself, knowing that I'm working on looking and feeling better. But after about 7 months of training, I started noticing girls looking at me, like give me that up and down look, and I started getting a lot more smiles and conversations with strangers. Then I finally lost my virginity, and after that I was set. I now treat girls like guys, except a little nicer. I'll walk up to them and just start a conversation just like say out loud to myself "Holy toledo, it sure is hot as the dickens out here" and just wait for them to respond, and that's that, once you start you're good to go.

TLDNR: Once I gained more confidence in knowing that I'm attractive, I felt that there's no reason to not talk to women.

Title	I have serious AA..Help?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	November 27, 2013 6:13 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rl4ss/i_have_serious_aahelp/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-serious-aahelp.1362182 https://theredarchive.com/post/1362182

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