I am a reasonably good-looking 26 year old male. I graduated in the summer and found a job that I love. Regarding my career path everything is going well and I am working hard on that part of my life. One year and a month ago I also made a conscious decision to get educated on diet and fitness (educated in the sense of reflecting on once own life by using calorie trackers and keeping track of how much exercise I really was getting). Now I am eating and sleeping well and exercising a lot so the part of my life called health is also handled.

At the beginning of December I made some more changes to my life. I realized that alcohol was doing me no good and that also the habit of watching porn and masturbating basically everyday in the evening was not very constructive to my life. Besides that I started meditating twice a day. The no-porn habit was the most difficult to start with but I haven't watched a lot in December and now for one week nothing at all and I will try to keep it like that. Too much masturbation and porn is really fatal for motivation and well-being since you stay in an unhappy satisfied state.

Since this year I've added another habit that I want to start. I've had some girlfriends in my life and the one time I had one which I really loved I got her by chasing her and being in a happy state while pushing my luck. I haven't had sex since November now and the worst part of it all is that I have not approached any girl since March!

While going out I am just frozen and afraid to make a move. My mind keeps thinking about wanting to have sex or kiss a girl but I just don't do anything at all. My friends get laid all the time and I was just sitting there thinking about masturbating when I get home.

So the habit I want to start was approach at least 1 girl a day. So far I have been thinking about approaching someone everyday continuously while in the train or walking in the city, I just did not fucking do it...

I did have some positive interactions with cashiers and other people that were around in the streets because of an open attitude but not the type "Hey you look very cute and I want to get to know you. Are you single? ... Can I get your number?"-fuckin-masculine-approach I want to do.

Man tonight I will visit a friend who is a bit down and failing his studies and I can hopefully explain him a thing or two on how you need to take some responsibility and action if you want changes. I will also try to open up on this issue and have a good night with him with approaches (although he is somewhat depressed he just goes out and pushes his luck by just seducing girls by being pushy and he gets laid a lot lately... so this is good company).

Tonight has to be the night otherwise I will keep feeling this frustration in my heart forever! I am doing great except for this approach anxiety.

Tonight I want to get out of my shell, warm up, and fucking rock. I know the sensations. It is not the result(e.g., getting laid or not), but the fact that you know that you have pushed yourself beyond the comfortable, which counts the most in feeling happy in this field.

GO! I'll let you guys know how this went.

*/EDIT

Back in the house. Was a very interesting night. Felt really frustrated at the beginning while walking outside trying to approach a girl and failing. Then I decided to go to another party nearby where I met a few younger friends and there I told a female friend about the stuff I wrote about:

I will also try to open up on this issue

I did this and it helped someway although I received some ridicule in a funny way. She did say that she thought I was a womanizer so I guess that is a positive way to be perceived.

My frustration subsided somewhat and I started feeling happy. I called my friend and turned out he was with a girl and that we were not going to meetup tonight. Back in the party I felt quite relaxed and had really cool conversation in which I showed my vulnerabilities in a funny way and my heart started opening up.

Then the big thing came. There was one really cute girl at the party that seemed interested when we first talked. When she was going home early I decided that it was now or never. I walked up to her and asked her if she was leaving already. "Why do you ask?" I stumbled upon my words but made sure to keep looking her in her eyes. She explained later in the convo (she got my intention obviously) that she was leaving with her boyfriend which was a guy I know and liked. Man she just left and I felt great about myself.

I had fears of being shamed for my approach by the lady friend whom I opened up to and explained I wanted to be with girls again, but she did not even notice that it had happened although it was next to her. Another friend also found the whole conversation normal. When she left and we looked at her I said wow man she is hot and he agreed and said that a friend had also said that about her before a few weeks earlier.

I felt very very relaxed from then on and just had a lot of fun without trying to go further somewhat. I did fail t ask for a number though when I had one kind of opportunity but I had not even talked to her and she seemed to be with a boyfriend so not asking then was probably for the better. My frustration is gone now (nagging feeling in the heart has whoosh gone away) and I feel confident in my skill with women again!

If I keep this up I am convinced tangible results will follow and that I can hopefully eventually reach the final short-term +/- three month project goal of having a meaningful and hot relationship with a girl and fuck her brains out.