My friend told me I take girls too seriously, and that if I want to hook up with them more the best thing I can do is to tell myself it's no big deal to talk to a girl, to flirt with her, to kiss her, etc. He said women aren't mind readers but they can tell if you're making a big deal out of something which will make them feel uncomfortable (since they're probably trying to relax and have fun). This will show when you try too hard to impress a girl instead of just talking to her and getting to know her. He told me it wasn't the getting nervous or even letting it show part, as much as the "doing too much" part that turns them off.

So supposedly according to him the Golden Rule is this: If you do everything concerning seduction nonchalantly as in no big deal, she will do the same (including having nonchalant sex with you).

So maybe an affirmation while you're doing anything scary, remind yourself it's not a big deal.