Inconsistent Ego?

QuebecFrancais · 2014-01-30T06:31:12+00:00

In my experience, things only got better when my validation became internal instead of external. In your case, you're relying on others to give you the validation that you are valued in some way. That's not a very stable way to live, as the baseline and default mood you have is insecure/worthless, but this external validation temporarily spikes your mood before having it come back down, painfully from experience.

I've come to notice that a feeling of control over the direction of one's life and a feeling of progress towards a goal did the best for me. Identify why you feel like the way you do. What makes you feel worthless? What takes away your security? Make a plan to combat that. Make the results you want internally- In my case, I wrote a journal for a week determining how I felt about my life. Turns out I was insecure about my looks. So, I started working out, dressing better, and taking more care of myself. Now I'm a bit more secure- Not entirely, but a lot more than when I started.

It's gonna be a hard slog- For me it's been eight months of careful eating, frequent workouts, and shit I generally wouldn't do if I felt like it. But you have to see the end goal and keep going- Become the person you want to be.

JesperSB_dk · 2014-01-30T11:04:24+00:00

What makes you happy.? Find 5 or more things that makes you happy, and start doing one of those things every day. It has to be things that is not depending on others. "Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another." You have stuff that makes you happy, so start doing that stuff.

2014-01-30T13:23:03+00:00

If you're looking to never feel bad ever again, then your best bet is a lobotomy.

Emotions come in waves. Sometimes you'll feel good, sometimes you'll feel bad. Being happy and confident does not mean living a life in eternal bliss. It means accepting that life is often chaotic, and being okay with that chaos.

Yes, experience in the game and eating healthy/exercising/etc. will boost your "base level" emotional state, but there will never be a time where you feel happy or content 100% of the time. But, to answer your question:

Is there anything I can do to keep my ego and self value consistent?

Stay in the game, get more reference experiences, and take care of your body (sleep, eat healthy, drink water, exercise, etc.).

Also, stop basing your sense of self-worth on the opinions of others. I only feel bad about myself if I'm not doing the things that I should be doing (e.g. procrastinating, avoiding a workout, etc.). Someone can call me a fucking asshole piece of shit loser, but if I know that I'm on my path so to speak, I won't give a fuck at all. I know that I'm a good person in the end, so I know that the other person is simply wrong.

Also, lose the ego. Ego and self-worth are different things.

2014-01-30T19:49:50+00:00

This is just being human.

Mine goes all over the place, you can't expect to have a perfectly consistent view of yourself despite inconsistent external circumstance, moods, etc.

Shit happens, don't overthink it. Just remember that Ego is an internal construct and has zero bearing on what you can accomplish in the outside world. Detach yourself from it.

cody_au · 2014-02-01T17:48:35+00:00

This may be normal for you. Get comfortable with it.

Look there is no problem with being depressed in some areas and then ridiculously happy with others. This pattern repeats in everyone but in different areas that probably aren't so noticeable because you don't get to hear how stupid their inner thoughts are.

What will fuck you up is META-depression. Beating yourself up for being depressed. Justifying it, excusing it, analyzing it. Don't do it.

I'm not into meditation or spirituality bullshit, but Eckhart Tolle has a point when he talks about living in the now, not fighting those thoughts and feelings, and instead just observing them pass without critique or any other inner monologue about it. (This is classic Buddhist meditation also, it's not just closing your eyes and falling asleep).

I made it with depression. I'm still depressed. I have everything I want and I'm depressed. I don't give a shit, Heath Ledger had millions of dollars and any woman he could want and still killed himself. Depression isn't logical. But most importantly you go into the field depressed, OPEN A SET TELLING THEM YOU'RE DEPRESSED, and I guarantee if you do it correctly you could run the best set of your life, it would blow the set the fuck up.

Because the depression means nothing. Your approach to it means everything. I have faith in you that if you can be depressed and let it happen without thinking about it so much, you will make it. Trust me. I can tell a hitter from a quitter.

Title	Inconsistent Ego?
Author	PUboss
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	January 30, 2014 5:29 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1wj9e3/inconsistent_ego/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/inconsistent-ego.1365190 https://theredarchive.com/post/1365190

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