I'm only attracted to girls that are out of reach

shewhogoesthere · 2014-02-05T07:16:43+00:00

Some thoughts come to mind:

You may view it as a game, maybe subconsciously. A girl who is out of reach will be more exciting and this excitement you're feeling you're interpreting as attraction. Once they are no longer out of reach, in other words once they are attainable, the attraction is gone, game over and on to the next game.
You may also have some apprehensions about being involved in a relationship (afraid to be in one for whatever reason). If you meet a girl that you like, this fear (to commitment, romantic feelings, intimacy, etc) creeps up and makes you believe that this person is boring, uninteresting and therefore unattractive. When you meet someone who is out of your league, you invent this attraction to her. As if you're allowing yourself to become attracted to her. She won't give you the time of day anyway, so where is the risk of experience those fears that creep up when you're in a relationship. Impossible girl = impossible relationship = no scary emotions.

I thought I had more points, but I guess not. Anyway, those are two things that may be happening.

You say that you want a girlfriend. Well, you must know then what you like in a girl and what you don't. Seems to me that you may get bored with girls easily because you settle. You find out a girl likes you, so you go for it only to realize that she's not your type later on.

recyclablebantha · 2014-02-05T11:18:21+00:00

I'm sure girls experience the same thing, in a more amplified manner.

It's pretty much the same between the sexes. Guys and girls suffer from this roughly to the same degree: it's just the human condition.

Now, how do I escape this? I actually want to find a gf, as I'm getting tired of just dating / fwb.

When you are literally sick and tired and hit bottom, then you'll start to internalize an emotional "lesson" of sorts. You'll start to have an aversion towards girls that will treat you a certain way. Signs that a girl is a certain way, will begin to turn you off.

It takes time but it'll happen when YOU are ready for it too.

HappyJerk · 2014-02-05T15:41:57+00:00

Here's how one-itis works.

Whenever you meet somebody, you only learn a little bit about them (let's say 1%). But your brain doesn't want to just know a "little bit." Your brain wants to figure EVERYTHING out. So your brain fills in the gaps of what you don't know.

So let's say you meet somebody and you learn 1% about them, but they really like you. Your brain fills in the other 99% by saying "well they really like you, so therefore they can't be that awesome." But lets say you meet girl B and you learn 1% about them, and they reject you. Your brain is going to try to figure out why you got rejected, so it will fill in the other 99% percent by thinking "that girl is really awesome, all the guys must like her, she can get whatever guys she wants, she is probably living an awesome, busy life, etc..., etc..." So even though you still only know 1% about her, your brain thinks it knows everything about her and has built her up in your mind as this awesome thing that you can never hope to attain. The fucked up thing about this process is that you can't control it; it's all subconscious.

There have been times when I have been rejected by girls, fallen in love with them, and then gotten them "back." Whenever I get them "back" I almost always feel underwhelmed because their reality never matches the insane image my mind constructed of them.

The key to fighting this urge. Just judge girls as they are. If a girl is a bitch, she is a bitch. If she is nice, she is nice. Don't let your brain start building fantasies. If a girl rejects you, move on. Don't dwell on her or try to get her back. And don't let your brain dismiss a girl because you only know 1% about her but she likes you.

puaCurveBall · 2014-02-05T19:40:52+00:00

Hello, this post is getting removed for being too basic and already answered.

Your post is answered in the SIDEBAR

I would also recommend reading 10-20 of the top posts on Seddit: FOUND HERE

If you really want an answer, then please repost in /r/askseddit (not askReddit, but ask SEDDIT).

Thank you!

Title	I'm only attracted to girls that are out of reach
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	February 5, 2014 5:44 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1x24s2/im_only_attracted_to_girls_that_are_out_of_reach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-only-attracted-to-girls-that-are-out-of-reach.1365527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1365527

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