I have been a lurker for about 3 months or so, I ahve been absorbing information on and off almsot everyday.

At first, I worked on inner game as I completely agreed on having to get your **** together and love yourself before you could actually go out there and make others notice how great of a person you are.

And let me tell you guys, it worked wonders, thing is, I still felt crippling AA, and yes I said that in past tense, I would get these huge knots on my throat, my heart would race, my knees would buckle, I would sweat, and all of that because I just wanted to say hi to a cute girl while walking down the street.

I live 45 minutes away from my workplace on foot and I started walking there everyday because I just love winter and wanted to feel the cool breeze graze against me, I started greeting a lot of older people, moms, grannies, paper deliverymen, cops, people sweeping the street, but when I tried saying hi to a cute girl I would still freeze.

I kept trying, I would fail, I would kick myself for not doing it, I would try again and I would fail. I did actually smile at some girls and they would sometimes smile back (90% of women my age just avoid eye contact altogether which hurt at first but I rationlized it as something they probably do to EVERYONE, not just me) kept sarging on, one day I commented on the curly hair on this one regular chick and she said "thanks" I thought "hmm, that wasn't too bad"

a couple of days later I rode on the bus, when I sat down I noticed two exact same titles on a book, I didn't even think twice and asked "why do you have two copies of the same book?" with genuine curiosity in my voice. she replied "it's vol.1 and 2" I felt silly but not really :P, the idea never even crossed my mind lol, I had a perfectly fine conversation with that chick and then we parted ways, I coudln;t ask for her number when she got off which was a bit sad but I didn;t let it get to me.

A month ago I spotted a rather pretty woman walking towards me on the street...not towards me but walking the opposite way, anyways I made myself clear that THAT moment was when I was going to finally say hi to a random pretty person and I did, I said "ellou" in the most awkward way you can imagine, try saying hello while you close your throat in the same way you gargle toothpaste and water and you have a pretty close rendition of the way I sounded, she was looking down while she was walking (usual eye contact avoidance) but she looked up at me when I said hello in that terribly awkward way, no response. it was terrible, horrible...IT WAS AMAZING, holy **** I never felt so great at making an ass out of myself, I was finally able to get past the crippling, paralyzing fear of rejection and nothing bad happened!

I woudl still get AA after that of course, the growth wasn;t magical or anything ut I felt immensely more confident, now I would say hi and they woudln't reply, they rarely if ever do, but I don't let it get to me as that percentage holds true of anyoen else I greet and I don't let taht get to me either. I kept this up every single day, until one day I said "hi" and this cute petite red-haired girl (GOD, I love red-hair on women) said "hey" back to me, I felt out of this world, I had the hugest grin on my face for the rest of the walk to my job. I still feel bad about not talking to the petite girl but I enjoy the progress more so it balances out, to this day only like 4 women have ever replied back to me, one today WOOO, and let me tell you guys, it is all because we keep supporting each other.

You guys are the best ever, seriously.

Ohh! also, I actually started 3 conversations like the one on the bus.

1st-she would give me yes or no answers and woudln't put any effort in continuing the conversation, I didn't even bother closing and turned around.

2nd-I really like long hair so I asked this one chick how long has she been growing her hair, she said her entire life, I asked "are you serious? never ever had a haircut?" she said "yeah" and turned her back on me, oh well.

3rd-there was a preacher on the bus today and I got off the bus with this one girl, I asked her if she believed in the gospel and all of that, she said "I believe everyone gets to beleive what they want" and crossed the street, mind you we were walking the same way which is why I started the conversation.

So yeah, lots of learning to do, lots of experience needed still, but I can look back and notice what has been travelled already and that my friends, keeps me going.

Also let me say this again, THANK YOU GUYS.