Do the same seduction rules apply? I am an attractive married guy and I have found myself researching "mindset" topics (and a few others) after I realized that many of the weaknesses I experienced during my adolescence (nice guy stuff) had spilled over into my friendships and work relationships. I want to understand myself and work on becoming more vulnerable, less needy, and completely free from the subconscious attribution of self-worth through extrinsic sources.

I think part of that involves the way in which I traditionally approached attractive women, even in the case of friendships. Historically, I placed attractive women on pedestals throughout my adolescence (now I'm in my late 20s). I never had extreme trouble with women, but I definitely experienced more difficulty with approaching and maintaining sexual tension/relationships with the higher status women. Now, I feel like increasing my confidence and vulnerability around attractive women is an important component of revamping myself. I am also interested in improving my "game" with women to prevent myself from starting from scratch if I end up divorced, which is a realistic possibility and is totally out of my control (the explanation is too long and specific to place on reddit, so just trust that I'm truthful here and not some creepy married dude).

With all of that said, my question is this: Is being married and working on these things compatible? I am around younger, attractive women because of my job. I catch myself flirting with them as a natural byproduct of increasing my vulnerability and confidence. I obviously cannot physically escalate while I'm married, so I'm looking for thoughts on how to go about becoming a better man within the confines of my situation. Can married men have an ethical marriage and simultaneously have non-sexual, non-romantic relationships with women without ending up friend-zoned? If so, how might this change the dynamics of interacting with women. It seems like the approach would have to necessarily be altered.

And no, I'm not looking to cheat on my wife. I am sincerely looking to tackle a life-long personal problem that involves doubting myself in important social situations. I am surrounded with hot, confident women where I work (and my social circle), so this seems like a perfect opportunity. I know this is a weird question, so be gentle.