This isn't exactly a beginner question, but if it belongs in AskSeddit please let me know. I don't even necessarily need answers specific to my situation, just some ideas and guidance on how to navigate this sort of situation.

Background for context:

Met a girl, went on a first date last Saturday it went really well, lots of kino, kissed her an hour into the date, more kisses followed, and a little light making out when I took her to her car. Sunday visited her work (cafe, she said I should come) and worked on a project for grad school until she was done with her shift. Grabbed some food, invited her to my place to smoke and watch a movie, she said yes, but on the way texted and said how about her place instead, she had to email someone about a group project, said sure. Roommate is there (gay dude, I think I made a great first impression) so can't escalate as much as I'd like, but we do all go for a walk and she and I hold hands, and later hanging out she and I cuddle up on the couch. As I'm leaving kiss her neck, she giggles, kiss her a little, then have to head out.

We sort of made plans to hang out tomorrow (Saturday) for St. Patty's day, but didn't have specifics yet. She texts me yesterday (Thursday) that she and her roommate are thinking about Vegas, she said was going to invite me but thought it might be weird, and knew I had a couple obligations for Saturday (improv stuff from 1 to 3). I say I can probably catch a late flight after my stuff, but they then decide that it's too time and cost prohibitive so last minute, so I suggest Black Hawk (place in Colorado with casinos) and they seem interested.

This morning (Friday) I text to say I found some decent rooms, should I book, and she says they decided to just do brunch at this trendy restaurant downtown, "You're welcome to join us that morning!". I also know there's a party starting at 4 she feels obligated to attend for a little while.

Ok, so we're in third date territory so obviously I want to get her back to my place for some one-on-one time, but I'm not sure what my best option is from here. I'm sure I would enjoy brunch, but I wasn't really able to escalate much more on Sunday from where we ended on Saturday, and group brunch does not seem like the place to do it. However, I don't know if turning down brunch is the way to go.

  • I could attend brunch, tell her to give me a call later, do my improv stuff, then hope she wants to hang out later in the day.
  • I could do brunch, escalate as best I can during, then not make any other plans with her and meet up with other friends and stuff (though if I get hammered drunk I may call her anyway)
  • I could say I can't do brunch, but she should call me when she's met her party obligation and we can hang out after that.

How would you approach this, or any similar situation? She's a bit younger than I am (28-22), so I want to make sure I seem cool and fun, not old and bogged down.

Sidebar: I've been on over 100 first dates the last 18 months, but I started screening really heavily so second or further dates have been pretty rare, this is one of the first girls I actually wanted to continue seeing, so my fear of fucking up is higher than it's been in a long time.