How to gain self confidence?

general_derez · 2014-03-15T14:13:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2014-03-15T17:03:47+00:00

its hard for me to picture myself being successfull since no girl has ever wanted to get to know me better.

That's your problem though. Success shouldn't be defined by whether or not any girl has wanted to get to know you. It's being okay with you. Women are drawn to that because we are actually real people who just happen to possess breasts and vaginas.

RandianHero · 2014-03-15T06:29:32+00:00

All right, easiest way I can describe it is like this: picture an ideal man. He's smart, well put together, witty, confident, charming, knowledgeable, and handy. He can tackle any situation with ease and doesn't give too much of a fuck about anything. He's physically and emotionally strong, and he doesn't have any issues with talking to people because he knows he'll be well-liked as soon as he starts talking.

Got the picture in your head? Good. Now be that guy.

Sounds overly simple, doesn't it? Well, don't confuse simple with easy. It's a lot of hard work to be that guy. But you can do it. You gotta take each of those individual traits and work on them one at a time. You gotta fundamentally alter your personality so that those traits override what you've got right now. You're replacing yourself with a better version of yourself: an ideal version. And once you get to the point where your real self is as close to that ideal self as possible, then you'll have genuine confidence.

2014-03-15T23:46:52+00:00

What kind of person do you want to be? If you don't know, then you really have to think long and hard and experiment around in life. e.g. Dancing may sound dumb, but hey give it a shot, maybe you'll like it.

Then, take action to become that man.

Want to be more physically fit? Exercise and eat correctly. Want to learn guitar? Start taking lessons. Want to be more well-rounded? Read more books.

Confidence will come along the way, but it takes a lot of time and a lot of effort. You can't mindfuck with rationalizations (i.e. I deserve to be confident because a book said so!) into becoming confident. They can only serve as sign posts to point you in the right direction. But actually BEING confident is a whole other story. Confidence arises from life experience and taking action. It's something that's emotionally internalized, not a set of logical reasons.

Can't picture getting a girlfriend? Then read some sidebar information for the basics and APPROACH.

If you want something to do immediately, then fix your body. Eat correctly, sleep better, stay hydrated, exercise, and meditate. Taking care of your body will positively affect your brain chemistry so that you just feel damn good.

saxal28 · 2014-03-15T19:18:19+00:00

go to a club and grind with the fat chicks. I gained a lot of confidence this way, and it will make you stand out more to the more attractive girls in the club. Plus, the best dances i have ever had were with overweight women.

nofap works great two (day 54 here)

dengel9 · 2014-03-16T08:28:07+00:00

All the responses on this page are pure gold. Espicially hurdarr and professionalniceguy. Will bookmark this page just so I can go back to the replies for the future when I lose focus!

epicshift · 2014-03-16T15:04:59+00:00

You're on the right track ... what you need to do is investigate the root reason as to why you have the feelings that are holding you back and clear those. Why is it that you think you've never been close to a girl, is it because you've never had the opportunity or maybe you have a subconscious limiting belief that it wouldn't be safe.

Crazywhite352 · 2014-03-19T01:31:19+00:00

Done the nofap, and it does indeed work. I do it periodically. In fact after i read this last night, i started another nofap for a month or so.

Title	How to gain self confidence?
Author	throwawaytime22
Upvotes	9
Comments	10
Date	March 15, 2014 6:08 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/20gr8q/how_to_gain_self_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-gain-self-confidence.1367589 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367589

Comments