Source of confidence

DukeCanada · 2014-05-19T16:57:45+00:00

I wouldn't call myself a PUA, but this is more or less unrelated to pick-up anways.

You have to be your own source of confidence, anything less and you're dependent on something external which isn't necessarily under your control. You can work out, get a raise at work, or sleep with a gorgeous woman, but at the end of the day those should supplement, not form the basis of confidence. So, in this sense nobody can tell you how to be more confident because it has to come from inside you. We can however help you to put yourself in situations in which you can build confidence.

The goal isn't just success, it's also learning that failure isn't bad. So here's what I did.

Try to enter as many conversations as you can
Talk to as many people as you can
Introduce yourself to as many people as you can
If you find a woman attractive, introduce yourself
Try to engage as many friend groups as possible
Optional - 100 approaches summer challenge - Approach 100 women over the summer

You will probably fail pretty often. People wont like you, women will reject you, and groups may not include you. The bright side is that over time this will happen less and less, but by that point you'll have stopped caring anyways, which is really what your source of confidence should be.

successorEB · 2014-05-19T18:55:07+00:00

Do they really say things or do you just think they do?

2014-05-20T02:01:24+00:00

Stop viewing confidence as something that needs to be gained, built, or found. Start viewing confidence as something you already have.

Yes, most of the time, we need a reason to be confident. You won't expect me to be a super-confident guy in the club if I just got off a hard day at work unless I warm up a little.

But the thing is, if you deeply view confidence as something you don't already have, then you'll never have it. You will always internally perceive it as something that needs to be gained from some external source, rather than something that needs to be brought out of you.

It takes time to become confident, since this pretty much means changing the way you self-identify on a deep level. So you shouldn't worry about it too much. Just do what you can and give it your best. As long as you are consistently putting in honest effort, you're good.

Title	Source of confidence
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	3
Date	May 19, 2014 4:17 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/25y8t7/source_of_confidence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/source-of-confidence.1370985 https://theredarchive.com/post/1370985

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