There is what seems to be a paradox I keep reading on trp that has me increasingly curious. I'm coming to you with hope for clarification on your collective view, an opportunity for healthy debate, or maybe solidification of my current perspective.

The topic is sex. It's mentioned all over this subreddit. What I'm seeing is men continually talk about how important it is to get good sex, how a great way to start off a relationship with a woman is to become sexual quickly, and how to control the sexuality of the relationship to fit your desires. Yet we are supposed to treat our encounters with women without putting pussy on a pedestal.

I'm also seeing sex from a female perspective on this trp thing. Trp says a woman shouldn't put out easily. It shows all sorts of negative traits towards female promiscuity. If a woman puts out easily then she is not worth the man's time. Trp also points out that a woman shouldn't be treated any differently than a male best friend with the benefit of sex and a bit of care thrown in the mix (initially). That's all fine and dandy. Remember I'm presenting observations at this point.

Is it really about sex, guys? Or is it something deeper? We want to find a woman who respects her self enough to hold off on sex for however long, yet we are constantly throwing ourselves at women sexually in the same fashion that we detest. Does that make us disrespectful towards our selves?

It's said on trp that men are the true romantics. I've been banging women for the past few years in search of that romance to come from the female. Every single woman I met would go sexual quickly enough for me to not have interest in maintaining a friendship past that point because I had already experienced the sexual end goal with her. Except for the last one I dated. We didn't have sex right away. It was more my choice than hers, and I wanted to try a different approach. What we had instead was intimacy. We still fooled around. We kissed. We cuddled. We shared intimate moments together. I still had dominance throughout the entire thing because I was now in charge of what she got and when. She was no longer the gatekeeper of sex.

Avoiding sex but building intimacy gave us a really deep connection. So my questions for discussion are:

Are we really searching for romance and intimacy instead of "sex?"

Why are we choosing to give women the responsibility of abstaining from sex when we are fully capable of doing the same?