A lot of guys post similar questions on r/seduction:

1) So I approached a girl but now I don’t know what to say to keep the conversation going.

2) What do I do in a loud club where it is hard to hear each other?

3) How do I prevent our conversations from turning into me interviewing her?

Here is one solution, which I call “cartoonish narcissism.”

Cartoonish narcissism (CN) is when you approach a girl and say crazy, extremely narcissistic things in a joking way with the obvious implication that you don’t mean them. An example is that I will go up to a really hot girl and say “hey, I have an honest question for you. How does it feel to be better than everybody else here?” Or you could say “Gosh this place is crowded. Everybody heard I was here I guess.” You then laugh or do something else to make it clear you are joking. CN works better if you do it with a funny delivery; either completely deadpan or in some other affected manner. For example, sometimes I will pretend I am about to cry and I will say “you don’t even understand how emotional I am. All I wanted for tonight was to find a girl at least half as awesome as me and I’ve found it. ”You also have to do it completely confidently and with a real dominance and calm, so she won't think you're bluffing or being insecure. You have to think that you are probably joking about being so awesome, but all that stuff you are saying might be true.

CN also works better if you can make her part of the joke, so you guys can both pretend like you are these two insanely narcissistic people at the club. A lot of times girl will join the game and try to one-up your narcissism – I may say “gosh everybody is here because they heard I was coming” and then she might say “no they heard I was coming.” And then you can respond “gosh we need to teach a class on how to rock the house” or “well you are such a humanitarian for coming out just to make your fans happy.”

The reason cartoonish narcissism works is because women are attracted to dominant, confident men and unfortunately acting arrogant or narcissistic is a way of showing dominance. Furthermore, many hot girls are narcissistic and its hard for them to find a guy that will feed that narcissism without accidentally demeaning them or objectifying them or sounding stupid.

Obviously, the concept of “cartoonish narcissism” is similar to the concept of “cocky funny” but you aren’t ACTUALLY being cocky. But by making the narcissism a joke you still press those emotional buttons that girls like but you don’t ACTUALLY look like a narcissist or a douchebag. Girls are constantly being approached by douchey guys that are bragging and while their emotional brain secretly likes arrogance/dominance/narcissism their rational brain will write you off as a douchebag or asshole. Also, by making narcissism a joke you can say much crazier and more narcissistic things than you could otherwise. For example, you could say to a girl “You are way too hot for these people you are hanging out with. I feel your pain. I was hanging out with Brad Pitt and George Clooney and I was like 'God I need some hotter friends.’” I have a picture of Angelina Jolie in my phone. Whenever a girl talks about her boyfriend/ex/any other guy I say “do you want to see a picture of my ex” and then I show her the picture of Angelina Jolie.

Another advantage of cartoonish narcissism is that it isn’t connected to any real world facts or insecurities that could fuck you. For example, if you walked up to a girl and said “hey I drive a Ferrari” (believe me, I’ve seen guys in LA use this as a successful pick up line) she might say “ewww, is douchebag guy trying to impress me with his car” or “fuck this guy, the other guy has a Lamborghini.” But if you said something abstract and nonsensical like “All these guys here are trying to steal my style but I just want to be like ‘hey I will give you guys lessons if you really need it’” you sound funny and she can’t criticize you. By disconnecting cartoonish narcissism from real facts you can talk to any girl because you don’t need to know anything about her, what she is offended by, what she likes, etc…. It also works in loud clubs because if you miss a few words it doesn't matter. Also, if you are an un-confident guy it may be hard for you to talk confidently about yourself but by making it a joke you can pretend to play a character.

Directing compliments to her in a cartoonishly narcissistic way will also make sure you don’t offend her. For example, if you compliment her on her appearance she may think “oh look another douchebag that just likes me cuz I’m hot” or “I’m not that hot, this guy is a loser.” But if you say to her in a serious, deadpan voice “excuse me, are you turning up right now or rocking the house” she can’t think anything negative.

Cartoonish narcissism keeps things light, funny, and positive. Most girls have been through shitty relationships with asshole exes or needy dorks that yelled at them so all they really want is a guy that will be unequivocally positive. That is actually really hard to do when having a conversation with a person you know nothing about in a horrible nightclub full of douchebags.

Please keep in mind that cartoonish narcissism is just an ice breaker and you need to switch into real conversation at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later. I normally reel her in with some CN and then when I sense she is into me and interested in talking I switch to real topics, sprinkling in some CN along the way. If you do too much CN you will look like a silly, stupid weirdo. Also too much CN makes you look needy like you are trying to buy her appreciation with stupid compliments or that you are trying too hard to look cool.

In addition, CN requires you to be funny and quick on your feet. If you are having a narcissistic back and forth with a girl and you can’t think of a comeback to something she said, then she may feel like she “defeated” you. You may also reel in a lot of narcissistic assholes with this method that will abandon you once you start acting like a real person.

Thoughts?