Heya, finally decided to ask for advice here, make sure I am not just being a major beta that simply decides to lie/delude himself.

TL;DR Co-worker/Friend told me she has a boyfriend when I managed to ask her out. I overdid it ( tickled her, spun her around, told her I like her a lot, reassured her it's ok if she says no since I'd like to be friends also) and we ended up smiling/laughing about it all the way she drove me home. One week passed, now I want to keep her as a friend, but I'm afraid I am deluding myself expecting her to be there romanticallyfor me at some point. I feel that I can realistically friend her.

I will start by describing who I am: I'm 23, have never been sexually involved with a girl, and I just realised it's not just about that, I have totally neglected any other type of relationships with people in general. I joke around, make people laugh, but I think it's time to me to enter adulthood. Am I doing this right ? I feel the sudden urge to be more careful about how I invest my time with people. I live in Norway and don't speak the language so I don't have a social circle outside of work so I have my share of lonely moments. [90% of norwegians do speak english though ]

Here's the main story: There's this girl I realized I have feelings towards at work. I asked her out ( first time in 23 years mind you ). The fact that I cannot really recognize a no for an answer unless it's an actual 'No.' led to her giggling, me tickling her, spinning her around and in the end telling her she's confusing me by not giving me a straight answer. She told me she has a boyfriend, which is indeed true, but I hadn't known at the time. They're together for perhaps 4-6 weeks and it's 2 hours apart so she told me it's not a rejection, but she cannot juggle 2 guys . I took it as a no, both of us joking and smiling. So I was feeling good about myself for finally making this huge step. The next 3-4 days I was thinking in hindsight a bit, ''what if''s etc. and this got in the way of my life.

Since she's very sweet, supportive and a generally happy person to be around I tried denying my romantic feelings towards her, but the only way I can keep myself from being sad is by showering her with smiles, laughs, kind words; exactly as before. I am afraid that subcounsciously I am expecting something of her and I don't want to get to that eventual crash. We are going to hang out some more, even tomorrow, and I think I want to try and make this work without romantic feelings. Am I delussional, a pussy for not being aware of my true feelings and try to escalate once again?

This isn't your ordinary /r/seddit post, but I feel like a bit of guidance would help me, thanks.