A little back story first. I met this cute 7.5 chick in my workplace and because i exhibited huge amounts of value in the beginning (i am teaching Latin dances at the club inside the work campus and she came at some point to take lessons) she added me on Facebook and she started showing signs of attraction (including likes on my photos and songs that i posted on random time intervals).

Every time that i saw her i initiated small talk and last week i asked her out. As usual, i invited her to my world. I brought her to my usual dancing bar were i have tons of value, together with 5 more female friends, two of which where flirting me. I was holding court, i had enormous state, i was flirting her and other women a little bit etc. So, all in all, everything was going according to the plan. The only problem is that she never got 100% attracted. For example, i was leading her all night, but she was not responding to my kino. She was keeping eye contact, but she was disagreeing with many things we were discussing. In summary I would say that she was push/pulling me and that's why i feel so attracted towards her.

After some point we left, and i bounced her to my home "for one more drink". Again she agreed happily to come, but when she sat on my couch, she put her bag between us. There, i screwed up a little bit; I got a little drunk, i did not escalate properly, i did not make a move when i should, and i went for the kiss when i shouldn't so she refused and she turned her chick. After a couple of minutes she asked me to go, so we left and i drove her home.

The next days she was distant (of course), she stop liking the stuff i posted on Facebook and to the two casual messages that i sent - spaced three days apart each - she answered after several hours. Fast forward to today, around five days after the last time we spoke. I initiated the conversation, we made small talk for several minutes and then i asked her out for tomorrow. She replied that she has other plans but she did not offer an alternative suggestion.

At this point, and based on the whole premise of being honest and open to the other people, i told her that i find her to be a cool dude, and that i would like to go out with her. If she wanted to go out too, she could suggest another day and if it was convenient for me we could arrange it. But if she didn't want to go out, i saw no purpose to forcing it.

She responded a little apologetically, telling me that i should not be angry, that she finds me cool too but she really has other plans for tomorrow, and that i owe her a dance class nevertheless. Of course, she did not offer an alternative day for a date so i assume that there is no attraction left and that this response was the typical pat-pat on the shoulder when we reject someone.

So my question is this. If the correct way to handle these types of situations is through honesty and opening up of our feelings, why do i feel like i displayed a completely needy person to her? Why do i feel like shit?