I just got back from a night out, and wanted to write down a few things for my own records, so figured I may as well share them here. Did 2 day time approaches today, and 4 at the club tonight. This is a fairly long, incoherent rant, but there are some valuable lessons in here I hope.

Daytime: I was shopping at a clothing store for a new jacket, and spotted one of the sales assistants, who was a 8.5/9 (being Scandinavia this is fairly common). I approached her and asked if she was Icelandic. She laughed and said that she was in fact half Swedish/Finnish. I asked for her perspective on the jacket, and we joked around a bit. I told her we should become facebook friends. This is where I fucked up. My wording was something like “if its not against store policy, lets become facebook friends”. In my mind it was a joke, but she interpreted it seriously and said something along the lines of “yeah its probably not a good idea to add a customer on facebook”. Anyway, she added herself, but then that she couldn’t accept the request, but we could still chat over facebook messager (which of course is impractical, as all messages would go to the ‘other’ folder). Anyway, the takeaway for me here was not to plant a seed of doubt where there is no need to do so. Had I not spooked her with the store policy line, I am almost certain she would have accepted with no dramas. Anyway, I cracked a few more jokes with her then went to the counter to pay and then left.

Evening: Me and a friend decided we would hit up the student bar for an hour or so, to catch up, and to try and get a few new numbers. We were both not drinking. This guy is fucking good. He constantly has women orbiting around him, and as soon as we walked in two 7s came up to him. They were lovely women, and excellent social proof. We spoke for a while, and I then broke off from the group to speak to a very tall blonde women who I had spotted at the bar. She was alone, texting on her phone, and was anxiously looking around (obviously waiting for a friend or something). I opened with “you look bored – lets talk about cool stuff”. At first she was a bit like ummm what, but I went straight into a gamit about what ridiculous job you would have if money wasn’t an issue. She chose dolphin trainer, and I chose one of those 1920s detectives, the guys who wear suspenders and drink hard liquor at 9am. Anyway, we had a great conversation for about 15 minutes. I got her facebook and then went back to my friend (who was still with the girls). The lesson here was that I quit while I was ahead. I stopped the conversation at the point where she was having a great time. I left her wanting more. I have full confidence she will reply with a yes when I ask her for coffee in a few weeks.

My confidence was rapily rising. I was in state. We moved to another part of the bar, and I spotted another tall blonde, who was talking with 2 other of friends. She had a very similar jacket on to me, so I opened with along the lines of “omg, you copied my outfit! We totally should have planned things better”. We then chatted about all sorts of things. The other friends seemed very immersed in their conversation, and didn’t seem to mind that I was into their friend. I joked and told her that we should start a fashion label together, and we need to have coffee to create a business plan. I gave her my phone and told her to add me on fb (not sure why I didn’t ask for a number though - for some reason Ive been mostly asking for facebook adds instead lately). Again, I quit while I was ahead, and rejoined the group.

We moved upatirs to the main nightclub area. Near the DJ booth there was an easy 8/8.5, with a lot of guys hovering around her. I decided to be very direct. I walked up and said “I usually don’t do this but I wanted to be direct for a change: I think youre hot – lets go for coffee). She laughed and smiled and politely said that she would have loved to, but she has a BF. I spoke to her for another few minutes and then ejected. I spoke to my mate who confirmed that infact she did have a boyfriend. No worries.

On the way downstairs I ran into 3 girls, one of whom I took on a coffee date a few weeks earlier (girl 1), one of whom I met briefly at a party a month or so ago (girl 2), and one who I didn’t know (girl 3). 2 came up to me and kissed me on the cheek and said something like “its great to see you again, how have you been ect” We were chatting for a minute or so when I saw girl 1 whisper in girl 2s ear something like “omg that’s the guy I was telling you about”. They both backed away and I could tell they were talking shit about me. This really affected me. My confidence dived and my state was broken. After this I basically left and went home. It bothered me that some girl didn’t like me. I let it affect me when I should have just laughed it off. In my head I analysed every moment of our coffee date (it was obvious that we were not a match, but it wasn’t a bad date per-say), and whether I said anything that might have upset or offended her. On the way home I re-read our text messaging history, and then deleted her off Facebook. I worried about my reputation and who she knew. Now that I’m back home, I realise what a little bitch I was. I let worry and self doubt get the better of me. Who gives a fuck what some chick thinks about me. Who cares if she didn’t enjoy our date, or if she thinks that something I said in a text message was weird or creepy. I let her affect me. I let her break my state and confidence, and end my night.

My take away is that in this game you win some and you lose some, and whether or not you succeed or fail depends greatly on how well you deal with rejection and girls disliking you for seemingly no reason. In order to sleep with beautiful women, you must piss some off in the process. I need to stop giving a fuck about what people think of me, and just roll with it. Anyway, this was a pretty incoherent rant/field report, but I wanted to get my raw thoughts down on paper. Peace.