Lately I feel like am missing some crucial social skill, working to understand this about myself.

I have been initiating, talking to girls / new people and making plans which is great. I have been told that I come across as the serious types, which I agree with. Am afraid of expressing myself and am very judgemental about myself, beating myself up over some tiny event which realistically, doesn't even matter.

Mostly am scared if I talk a lot that I may come across as the weird guy who talks too much, so I speak only when required and nothing more. Am scared that I may come across as the irritating guy, so I tend to think a lot before expressing myself. I take everything personally. I hate myself and am always ashamed of myself. I always think about what I did wrong rather than what I did right. I am always anxious and afraid that I am fundamentally flawed.

Some days am out of my head, in the moment and it's like magic, then I regress back to my old frame. Working to unlearn my conditioning and relearn. Working to love myself unconditionally. Have gone out with more girls and met new people in general in the past 1 year than I have in my entire life. Just a post to remind myself and any of you out there in the same boat to hang in there, get out of your comfort zone and just let go. I can do it, and so can you.