Sort of abstract title, but its based on something I've noticed in the way I maneuver around social interactions and women. I talk to people and find a group that I connect with. Now this is normal and desired, but when I find that group, I park myself socially. I land on them like an island. I stop looking for the next thing or group or person and I settle. Perhaps it is laziness or fear of leaving behind something good. I want to hold on to this group of people or this girl forever because they help me feel comfortable and give me joy. But that's not the way to be, I would rather be happy and comfortable alone and share that with people instead of needing them for my own sense of security.

A side effect of looking at people or groups as islands or resting places is that you take all your baggage and plop it down on that social group or person. When you really like a girl, you really want to make her your island, your continent to land on and colonize. And in doing so this means populating her with all of your things. All of your luggage and ideals. I'm not saying it's bad to share things with a person or group of people, but when you rely on them like an island, you sort of lose sight of them as a person and they become a dumping ground for emotions or baggage that you don't want to carry or ideals you cling very strongly to.

This goes back to desperation, when you've been swimming for a while you can be desperate for some solid ground. And as someone who suffers from slight social anxiety, even some of those islands can leave you feeling lost at sea which is what can drive the desire to park or to settle in complacency. But we need not compromise our wishes or desires to grow for comfort. We need not be desperate in the face of an endless sea if we carry our own personal sense of security with us. This personal sense of security can come from a lot of places for different people. If we can perceive our time alone as walking on solid ground than these groups and girls become pools or lakes or rivers to play in. Things get a lot more fun.

Tl;Dr It can feel like you're lost at sea when maneuvering around social situations. You can grasp for islands in the crowd or in girls, but true strength and security comes from within.

If you have any similar experiences or points of view, it'd be great to read them.